Neglect

Posted By: Need Advicevice on 2008-09-21
In Reply to: Feeling neglected - Lucy

My son was no longer seeing this woman by the time my GS was born, but we've always tried to get him for visitation every other weekend. My son works many weekends, so half the time it is just me picking him up. I live out of town, but still make the trip every other weekend. Mom also has 2 other children prior to my GS. When my GS was about 2 she met and married someone. My son and I are the only family that's involved, so I'm sure the 8-YO feels jealous. Half the time I invite the 8-YO along too, but he is in sports right now and couldn't come along. However, there are sometimes my son wants to spend time only with my GS.

I agree the 8-YO should not be in charge, and I'm sure he does resent this. But from everything I've seen, Mom is not going to make the effort. These children need to fend for themselves for most everything.

I'm not in a position to offer any suggestions to Mom, as she resents any involvement. The only thing she wants is a babysitter. I used to pick my GS and his brother up on Saturday at 10:00 and could see her just getting out of bed. So I switched and try picking up on Friday after work as often as I can, but is difficult with living out of town.

I know the 8-YO needs attention, because he monopolizes the conversation when he's around. When he doesn't come along, my GS always takes something back for his brother. I am trying to teach him to be considerate of others.

I worry about what happens that I don't know about. If it wouldn't have been our weekend to pick him up, then I probably never would have known about it.

Question is, do I report this to DHS as sibling abuse, or is this considered normal behavior?

Complete Discussion Below:

marks the location of current message within thread

Sibling abuse - Need Advice
- If you are concerned about not seeing GC - jss
- After reading your most recent post I understand where you are coming from better (sm) - NCMT
- Feeling neglected - Lucy
  - Neglect - Need Advicevice
    - You may have to report it but not as sibling abuse (sm) - NCMT
- Well I see a couple of things here (sm) - NCMT
- an 8 1/2 yo baby-sitting a 6 yo? - .....
  - That's a good suggestion - - Me
  - Sibling abuse - Need Advice
    - I thought in most states kids had to be 12 or at least 10 -sm -
      - That's what I thought too until - SM
    - I hope I'm not out of line by asking this, - blind eye

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It is not abuse, but it is neglect
If you cannot take the dog in, I would definitely call the authorities. It is completely unfair and wrong for the dog to be left alone outside for that long with no shelter and no place to go. Who knows, maybe your cat and they dog will get along. I have 3 cats and a 128-pound German shepherd, and they call get along just fine together! But, if you cannot do this, just call the authorities for help/advice. I'm sure the dog would want you to do this so that it can get out of this situation!

Well in my case it was related to neglect (sm)
But I definitely do not want the child ridiculed at all. She needs help and I know how humiliating it is.

how ignorant to compare lice with neglect.
It's merely a case of misinformation or improper education to her family on how to treat the problem, in no way is lice infestation and lack of getting rid of them completely a sign of neglect.

Maybe this mom just plain doesn't understand how to get rid of them completely or perhaps there are other things going on in her life that this isn't getting dealt with properly. They need support not ridicule as some of the posters have said - obviously since you've been there you should know it isn't as easy as people think to get rid of them.