Need opinions. Do you think it is possible...sm

• Need opinions. Do you think it is possible...sm - wondering
  • It IS possible - Me
  • Just take it slow and easy - Take your time
  • I can tell you that from my experience sm - trose

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Okay, I am going to try to make this as short as possible. This regards my grandparents and cousins. My grandparents are my world, although I don't get to see them as much as I would like. My two cousins, who are brother and sister, and I have always been close. Cousin #1 and I have always been very close friends, sister-type close.

I have not been able to get ahold of my grandparents in almost a month. My grandfather has the beginning stages of dementia, and the last time I talked to them was on Father's Day.

Jumping around here a bit, I had a baby in April. Cousin #1 has not even called and asked about the baby, has not wanted to come by (she was there with me when the first two were born and has always considered my kids "her kids." I have called her numerous times with no return calls. Yesterday I sent her a text message asking if she had talked to my grandparents, and she did not answer.

After that, I sent my other cousin a message on Myspace and asked if he had spoken to them and how they were doing. I was able to see that he had read the message, but he did not answer it.

The last time I spoke to cousin #1 was about two weeks before the baby was born. She said she had not been feeling well and missed a lot of work, so she did not know if she could make it to the hospital. I told her I understood and I hoped she would start feeling better soon. After all of the unanswered calls, I sent her an E-card and told her I felt like I must have upset her and to please call so that we could talk it out.

This is becoming quite long, I am sorry about that! The only thing I can possibly think of is that I named the baby after my step-dad, not my dad. In regards to that, however, I have a brother who is my dad's namesake, and felt like that was his place, not mine. I really did not think that my family would get so upset as to not talk to me, though.

Any thoughts? Thanks for all opinions.  

I just recently got back in touch with an old friend from high school.  We made plans to take our kids somewhere together this Saturday.  I should preface this by saying I'm married and she's not.  When I talked to her last night to firm up our plans, she asks me if my husband was going.  Well, I thought it was just me and her taking our kids out and I wasn't going to ask my husband to go along since she's not married.  Then she says that she's been "meaning to tell me" that her new boyfriend is going with her.  My husband cannot go because of work so now, if I go, I'm stuck with her and her new boyfriend who I do not know. 

Do y'all think I'm crazy for feeling weird about this?  I don't want to be a third wheel on her date, especially with my kids along. 

Thanks for any opinions!! 

There are a few more old timer's like me on this board.   I probably won't mainly because of the hounding she is doing.  It is a nuisance and it does need to stop.  H and I went looking for a new car because the hospital I work for is cutting back on their MTs and they offered me a job doing something else in-house. I just need a car that gets good gas mileage.  Anyway, she kept insisting we get the first car we drove.  I told dd to quiet down, that dad and I will make the decision.  H told her, dd, you go to school, you listen to your teacher and make good grades, then you land youself a good paying job and you can get whatever car you want on this lot, but until then, you're on Mom and Dad's budget.  Poor dd when H is around.  She will say "I want, I want" H will say I want a lot of things. I am wondering of the other girls that she saw are just wearing those sports bra type thingys. 

Okay MTs, here's the deal need your opinions please . . .  Made an appointment at American's Best that 2 pairs of glasses for $69.95 deal – bad experience all around!  Glasses ended up costing me over $250.00!  When I picked them up one pair was broken!  They fixed on the spot – I took them home – cannot wear either pair, as they give me a headache.  I had a feeling they wouldn't be right because the eye doctor came off as a complete ***** to me.  First off he tried to tell me there were special contract lens that would allow me to and I quote "see my dreams clearly."  Okay – dreams are a brain function.  You do not need prescription eye wear to see dreams!  And in my opinion he violated HIPAA.  While I was in the waiting area between testing for field vision etc.  He informed me in front of others waiting in that same area of my tests results.  My results are my business not any other patients in the waiting room.  Anyway, I returned today to return the glasses for my money back – they advertise a 30-day return.  They gave me nothing but grief.  Only refunded me for $147.00 when I paid over $200.00 plus I had to pay for that advertised free eye exam (which I understand since I didn't want glasses I cannot wear).  I’m livid.  I'm still out $103.00, plus I'm sure the eye exam money is basically wasted because the flipping ****** didn't do the prescription right.  Both glasses were supposed to be the same prescription yet one pair I could see distance somewhat okay, but got headaches/dizzy – the other pair – useless couldn't see period!  I paid extra for coatings for anti-glare that I don't believe were done.  Please don't go there – save yourself a major headache.  Others were in the same store when I was trying to get my money back for the same reasons.  Anyway – long story short – did the eye doctor violate HIPAA in your opinions?  My tests were okay – but that was my business.  And if you believe he violated me . . . where do I report him?  I’m sick of being taken advantage of by places like this.  Thanks.  I'm sorry if there are any errors in my typing – I'm livid.  Oh—did I mention when he dilated my eyes (3 drops) they stayed that way not for hours but entire day!  My eyes burned and I wasn't "back to normal" for a week.  I'm furious. 

daughters in law in their 20s and 30s, please. I am in my mid 30s.  I have 3 sisters in law (am i saying that correct or is it sister in laws?).  Anyways, here is my dilemma.  I am very much hated. I don't use that term lightly - I was told 5 years ago by one of the evil SILs that I was the black sheep of the family and that no one liked me.  This one in particular went on and on about how the other sisters feel the same way.  I eventually forgave her and them (even though at family functions no matter how nice I am they are just spiteful, mean, give dirty looks). I wish I had a camera.I am not kidding you AT ALL. It's really sad. My husband would do absolutely nothing until late last year when the situation got so bad around Christmas that he finally stood up to me to the middle sis who caused and started all the trouble in the first place. Their father died when they were all in their teens and my husband is the only guy in the family if that puts any light on the situation. Anyways, it's been basically a living helll being in this family. My family all love each other deeply no matter what, so I don't understand this kind of hate. Anyways, I was at a meeting a while back and one there were some ladies there who know me and husband's family.  They were so sweet to me and telling me things like (these ladies were older), "well, if I were the mother in law, I would put a stop to that immediately!"  Which made me feel good. Here's the thing. I'm really, really, really starting to despise and resent my mother in law for being so sweet to my face, yet she does nothing! She totally pretends like everything is okay. She continues to allow this treatment from the other sisters towards me and it just seems - well, not right. I've put up with this for a long time. It's to the point now where my MIL lives about 10 minutes away and I refuse to let her watch the kids, even for 5 minutes, because i've bee told (by a certain sister in law - and you know which one I'm talking about) that I am so unappreciative and never say thank you whenever my MIL has to keep my kids. That is a bold-face lie and just so rude and mean and cruel. My parents live 3,000 miles away. I am here because this is where my husband is from. I have no babysitter. I have used my MIL in the past to keep all 3 kids, but usually at her request AND I've been known to write thank you notes to her for watching them if only for 2 hours. I am so grateful for anyone who does anything for me. That's the way I was brought up.

Anyways, one of the sisters had a baby the other day. Was told only blood relatives only to see the baby and when I asked someone who does that mean - they flat out said, "You."  I am hurt. Yes. I don't like them either. That's fine.  But, what I need to deal with is my MIL situation. Why won't she say something? I can't. If I speak up or email or anything about the situation - boy does it get ugly. Basically, I'm told to go to helll. Seriously. I've even considered divorcing my husband over this, but then I think of how hellaciuos it would be having to deal with visitation and then taking the kids to MIL DIVORCED - and then I change my  mind.

If you were the mother in this situation - wouldn't you try to say something, do something? nip it in the bud, as one other lady called it/ Or say things like, "If so and so isn't invited then we shouldn't go."  Like say, on weekend trips where the entire family is invited except ME.

This one sister in law even sends birthday invites and party invites to my KIDS. not me. They are 3 and 5 and will say things like, "Tell you daddy to bring you to my party."  It makes me sick. Literally.

i have been having some major pains lately to the point some days i have been able to work and am having major difficulty sleeping because of pain.  it is in my very low back, all left-sided.  i have also had pain in my left-sided ovary and now it has spread to feeling in the center of my abdomen like it is in my uterus.  i went to doc about 2 weeks ago, told i had a severe kidney infection.  got a shot of rocephin and cipro 500 mg x10 days.  didn't clear up so i went to ER.  UA was now negative.  they did pelvic and said it all looked fine.  then did an abdl/pelvis CT scan.  doc says it shows a few small kidney stones, but they were not big enough to be causing my pain.  i have lost 15 pounds in a month, but i was also very sick with the pains, nauseated constantly and even vomited a few times.  for two weeks now, i have been able to eat but the pain is still a dull constant and mostly bothers me when i lie down to go to sleep.  i have iced/heated, flushed every water/drink, cranberry you name it to no avail.  i don't feel i have kidney stones now.  i think i flushed them or they are not bothersome as doc says.  well today in the mail i get a certified, yes certified letter from my ER i went to.  the letter says to make sure i follow up with my PCP for repeat abdl/pelvis CT scan.  anyone ever received a certified letter from the ER before?  of course, this is saturday and i can talk to noone, can't request records or anything so i am kinda edgy with all the horrible outcomes i know as possibilities going through my mind and knowing this isn't standard procedure for the hospital to send me a certified letter.  any ideas/thoughts/prayers??? 

Here is the situation:  I have three daughters who take dance lessons. They take dance lessons from Sept-June with a recital in June. We then take the summer off. Anyway, lessons are usually 32.00 per month, per lesson. The more lessons you take the more she discounts. She usually has 3 lessons for 84.00, and then add 22.00 per lesson for every one after that. Okay. That is still pretty good. My girls took 6 lessons last year and it should have cost me 150.00, but she only charged me 122.00 for being a yearly customer, paying on time, and having gone to her mother (who still helps with the business) when I was a kid. Anyway, I have just signed up the girls and we have added 2 more classes, making 8 total. I talked to the mom, who does still teach occasionally, and she said it will run me 194.00!! The reason is the inital 3 is 84.00 and then add 22.00 per class for the other five. Now I realize 194.00 is still a bargain because if you add the regular price of one class at 32.00 times 8 you would get 256.00.  My question is should I say something to the daughter who actually owns the place and teaches most of the classes?? Going from 122.00 to 195.00 is a big jump for adding two more classes.  I say at most I should add 44.00 to the 122.00 from last years price. What do you guys think?? Sorry if this was confusing!!

Ok, I am going to try to make this a short story. Last night, my 7-year-old and another kid were playing. I was watching them, and they were playing tug-of-war, so to speak, with a shoe, but they were both laughing and playing. Well, the other child got hurt and when we tried to figure out what was wrong, we found that the girl had recently had surgery on this particular finger and it had gotten hurt while they were playing. Fast forward to this morning - the child's finger is fractured. I am in the process of getting the mother's phone number so that I can call her. The child was under the supervision of my sister-in-law at the time, a friend of her daughter's.

So, my question, would you offer to pay the copay for the emergency room visit?

Thanks!

I started last week as an IC for a small to medium MTSO.  I decided to work as an IC because I wanted flexibility in my schedule.   However, they insist on a set 40-hour schedule and working holidays, just like an FTE.   They are not paying me any benefits, not paying my taxes including SS, and I have run out of work 2 days already.  

Now I'm told I have to work either T-giving or Christmas - this really grates on me.  I get paid nothing extra for the holidays.  

I didn't think it was legal for them treat ICs like FTEs.  Has the working universe changed this much, or am I a sap for putting up with it?   I would really like to hear from other ICs who have faced the same situation -  please let me know how you handled it.  I cannot afford to quit without another job, which I am looking for.   TIA

I'm sure you can finish that one....

Rude, I may be, but not obsessive about celebs' lives. That's gotta count for something. In my mind it does, that's for sure. Don't you have any sympathy/empathy for these people having their private lives just torn apart? They can't even go out to eat, go to a public restroom, drive down the street, without being pestered. It killed Lady Di, which I'm sure you were plastered to the screen and news on that one too, and probably would have been there had you been able....what's one more obsessed fan to follow someone?

So call me rude, but I'm a happy rude person who has more to worry about than what the Jones' are up to!

Does anyone here own an air purifier? I am getting desperate for a solution. My BF suffers miserably with allergies, constantly sneezing, coughing, red, watery eyes. He says it is a lot worse when he comes home, so obviously there is "something" in our home environment that is contributing to this.

I have just started researching air purifiers, but some of them seem quite costly! However, if they do indeed work, then it would be worth the investment. Would love to hear from anyone with personal experience with these and any recommendations you may have. Thanks!

Everyone has limitations and personal problems, including those with high IQ.  When we examine those on the other end of the scale, the mentally challenged, many of them seem very happy, and easily contented with the simple things in life.  Its because they are able to concentrate on that one thing and enjoy it.  Often the rest of us are too distracted by what's going on in our head to enjoy the here and now.  The smarter one is, the more easily they can identify what is wrong with a situation, so perhaps the more problems they see the more they tend to be distracted by worries, etc. and cannot enjoy the simple things in life.

Alcoholism?  The tendency to that type of escapism is inheritable.  Wise people that know it runs in their family will never indulge at all.  But smart doesn't necessarily equal wise.  In fact, smart often leads to arrogance, which leads to risk taking.  You can also wonder how smart people can smoke, gamble, vote the way they do, whatever.  These behaviors may be unwise, but they don't make them any less smart (except when the activity actually kills their brain cells).  Guess what my ex said to me - "I have so many more brain cells than most people, I can afford to kill half of them off and STILL be smarter than you".  Gee, I wonder why I divorced him...

I knew a brilliant guy (not my ex) that I posed your question regarding self-destruction.  He claimed it was his brain, and his right to waste it, or not, as he saw fit.  I suppose it will be between him and his maker to discuss whether or not it is a sin to do so.  I don't think anyone blamed his mother.  Nobody blames my ex's mother (indeed she has tried very hard to make him see the error of his ways).  They lose the respect of people that had high hopes for them, yes, the definitely do.  Their future looks really dismal.  But they can still run rings around us in calculus, even three-sheets-to-the-wind.  Aggravating as heck, but oh well,

I am one that believes that if a person wants to trash their life, its between them and God.  But as I told my ex, when judgement day comes, he'll have some explaining to do, and I wouldn't want to be his his shoes.

The father and I have been associating with each other for over a year now.  This was only one "for instance" that I provided in my original post.  No, I suppose the child is not technically abused, but he is regularly severely punished and reprimanded.  I was just so troubled by the fact of the poor kid trudging through school all day knowing "the stick" was coming.  Breaks my heart. 

The child has many signs of bad behavior, stealing, lying, bullying others at recess, taking money out of his father's wallet -- he is truly a troubled kid.  And if Dan's way of discipline is what I consider harsh and extreme, then all I can do is keep an eye out for signs of trauma with the child and distance myself from his father.  If my child had a friend who was going to go home and kick puppies at the end of the day, I certainly would not want him being friends with a person such as that. 

I guess some parents feel it is truly necessary to strike their children, and I guess it's their right.  This is not the form of love and communication I wish to convey with my child.  Once again, thank you for your responses.  I will keep my eyes open and reel my self-righteousness duly back in.

It's fascinating to me.  My feeling is that the funeral is for those who are left behind, and if the family wants a funeral then they should be able to have one without feeling like they are disrespecting the deceased by going against his or her wishes.  I think a funeral is a time to honor and remember and really a good way to say goodbye.  My brother died when he was 28 from an arrhythmia and he did NOT look dead in his casket. He really looked very peacefully asleep with the slighest hint of a smile.  I needed to see him to say goodbye. 

I would, however, want to honor the wish of someone who knew they were dying and requested a closed casket.  Illness can take its toll and if they don't look the same as they did in good health, then that is another matter. 

My husband's grandmother and grandfather insisted that they have no funeral.  When they died, it was like, Now what?  It was very strange and none of his family liked it.  Truthfully, to me it seemed like false humility. 

The funerals of my grandparents and my brother were such beautiful services, celebrating their special place in our lives and truly honoring them.  Most important in our family, we celebrated the fact that we will see them again, though we miss them at the moment.

That's my thought, as at odds with the rest of you as it is. 

I took the bait and sent away for the free 30-day trial of Raw Minerals makeup.  I normally use Bare Minerals, but this product was a bit cheaper and had some good performance reviews on the internet so I figured I'd at least try it (and if I don't like it, I can send it back and not be charged for it).

Has anyone here tried it and, if so, any opinion of it?  I ordered mine Friday and it arrived today (speedy shipping, huh?).  If you've used it, any advice on application, or is it just like Bare Minerals?

TIA for your thoughts and opinions, ladies!!! 

My husband, my son, and my brother-in-law went hunting last weekend.  We have two quads and my BIL has his own quad.  They got home very late and all the quads were on my BIL's trailer and no one felt like unlaoding them, so my BIL took them home with him (they have two acres).  I got a call yesterday saying one of our quads was stolen.  I asked where did they have them?  My BIL took them off the trailer and put them right next to a small three-foot fence that butts up to a pretty major side street.  He stored his own in his garage.  In the past my BIL stored his quads on his back porch.  Apparently, the thieves lifted the small lighter one up and over the fence.  The other one was too heavy so they didn’t steal it.  We had insurance on the heavy one, but not the light one.  We paid $1,700 for it new about three months ago.  Right off before we got an apology or anything, my sister said they won't claim it on their homeowners.  They suggested we lie and say it was stolen here at our house and claim it on ours, but my husband and I do not feel comfortable at all with this and will not do it.

My question is what part in all of this does my BIL play for storing it where it could so easily be stolen?  I wouldn’t think anything about it if that is where they stored their own, but they don’t.  They won't use their homeowners so we are out $1,700.  Neither one of them apologized to me or anything until after I had spoken with my mother who then in turn called them and then they called me apologizing.  In other words, my mother told them to call and apologize. 

I can’t make them pay for it.  I know my husband is partially at fault for being too tired to unload them, but I’m just so frustrated regarding where my BIL stored them.  Yes, they have had their vehicle broken into on that side street and have had a trailer stolen from their driveway, so they should know better.  They also have two acres to store them and the other half of their yard is fenced with a five-foot fence.

I guess we are just out the money and the quad.  Unfortunately, we won't be able to replace it anytime soon.

Sorry to vent.

We are putting down rugs this weekend.  I  need to buy a new vacuum.  I am looking in the middle range price wise.  What do you think is a good vacuum. 

TIA

I am bringing this up from a thread below since I would like to get some opinions. I have room darkening shades that I have stapled right onto the trim but it does not work quite as well as I would have hoped. I have not found a way to block it so that no light comes in at all. I have blankets over the curtain rod and blankets laying across the top because of the light that comes in at the top.

Also he runs a fan to block daytime noise and so it causes the blankets to move and flutter.

Here is an idea I had but would have to figure out how to build it. Window cornice(?) that would cover the entire window. Four 2x4s long enough to box in the window completely and piece of plywood over it, cover with fabric of some kind (curtainy)and install it on the window. I would also like to figure out a way to make it removable so during the days he's not in there I would have natural light. I was even thinking I could insulate the inside of the box.

I am looking for any and all opinions. Even the littlest light in there bothers him.

I am 27 and hubby is 28.  We have a 7 and a 4 year old.  I have stayed at home with them both from the time they were born (lucky me, only having to work about 4 hours a day, which I can usually do before they even wake up :) 

We are wanting to go to Mexico WITHOUT them for a week.  We have done this the past 2 years, but for some reason this year it seems to be harder for me.  Maybe because they are getting older?!?  One part of me thinks it is good for our marraige, blah blah.  The other part of me just aches to be with my kids.  Their aunt, who they are very close to and also has children their age, watches them and I know they are safe and happy. 

We also go on 2 other vacations WITH our kids during the year.  Just wanting opinions.  Thanks :) 

happened today.

If you lied to your spouse about something not that big, but you knew that they would flip out if you told them the truth, would you continue on with the lie? I know, you would think this is a no-brainer, but it really isn't.

My husband will probably succum to the effects of his high BP because he gets so worked up over really dumb stuff.  It's really annoying.  The kids spill water on the carpet and he rants and raves and goes running for towels telling them how irresponsible they are. I am not exaggerating.  It's gotten to the point where I just don't even tell him things anymore - even little things because it's slowly killing him by stressing him out. He doesn't even know what it's like to have a peaceful, calm mind.

Anyways, he cornered me tonight about something and I flat out lied. It is not really my nature to do so, it just came out! The horrible thing about this: My 5 year old looked at me like, "Mom, that's not true."  My heart broke in two!  I can't believe I lied in front of him and to my husband.  I know I must take responsibility for my actions, but why does he have to act so da** ignorant over little things? It's almost like he leaves me no choice.

I could literally just walk out today and not look back and probably not regret much.  He makes my skin crawl a lot of the times with his over reacting ways.  I would hate to think that I am the one contributing to his awful ways......He did scream in my face and tell me I was the most irresponsible person he's ever met...ahh, the joys of marriage.

My 13 year old daughter is swimming for P.E. until the weather gets too cold.   She has participated every day until this week because she started her period.   I called the school to excuse her from P.E. since she can't wear a pad in the pool. 

She came home tonight and told me that she's afraid her gym teacher is going to fail her because she isn't swimming for P.E. because of her period.  Not only that, her teacher told her to wear a tampon.  This was suggested in front of the class!  It's a CO-ED class!

I'm really mad right now.   My daughter is maybe old enough to wear a tampon but I'm not very comfortable with that and she certainly isn't either.   Not to mention the fact that she is on her FIRST period.

I asked her what made her think she would fail and she said that a friend of hers in the class is also on her period and was told she is failing for non-participation.  This is only 2 weeks into school too.

Am I over-reacting or would you be upset too?

My child was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is unable to take Depakote due to side effects from the drug.  We now have to decide on a different medication to try.  There are so many out there, and all have some bad side effects.  We have several options, but are just unsure which one to choose.  I was wondering if anyone out there has bipolar disorder or a child who has it, and if so, what medication(s) you have opinions on, pros and cons.  TIA!

My son went to his first class this morning and then I met him at the doctor's office for a quick checkup.  He told me that a girl in his class had been suspended for something she posted on a blog. She had called one of her teachers a B--ch on a blog.  This was done on her home computer.  Someone saw it, printed it, and then gave it to the teacher.  She was given 5 days home suspension and 5 days inschool suspension.  This was definately done from her home computer and not at school because she was complaining about how long a particular homework assignment was taking.

I in no way think this is acceptable behavior, but I am not sure I believe the school was right either.  If it were my child then I would certainly want the school to notify me and I would gladly come in and talk with them but then I think I should be the one to hand out the punishment.  If this takes place in my home I don't understand why the school should be able to step.  Others may disagree and that is why I would like opinions.  It may make me feel differently if I heard others views. 

Once again, this is not my child, just a classmate of his so I really don't have any stake in it at all.  Would just like to know how to handle a situation like this if it ever happened in my family.  Thanks.

Just looking for outside viewpoints about this scenario: 

A child with autism, so perception issues, believes that his teacher hates him and the teacher is aware of this.  So, a couple of weeks after discussion with the teacher, she states to the class, "You know what I hate about ______ (insert child's name here)?  When he acts like I'm a complete idiot . . ."

We have both been going to the same girl for our hair for the past 9-10 years.  We're both 46.  She's in her 30s.  During this time, she's gotten married, had 2 kids, went through a separation with her cheating husband, got back together, and then finally early last year got divorced.  Not long after, she became pregnant by another guy, someone she was seeing during the separation.  Okay, so we have known her a long time and she's very nice and we always talk a lot during our appointments.  We both felt bad for her during her separation and all that and would talk about it.  So, this guy that she was pregnant by now is kind of out of the picture, having signed up for a 2-year stint working on some pipeline way up north.  She was due at the end of November 2008, and my husband and I both had appointments with her the few days before she left for leave.

So that's the background.  About middle of December, we get a thank you card in the mail from her with a picture of the new baby.  It's addressed to both of us, thanking us for the nice thing we did, it meant so much, she was so shocked, and it's so nice there are people in the world like us.  I asked my husband what that was about.  He said, oh, I gave her a tip when I was there.  I didn't think too much more right then, but as I re-read the note, it just seemed like this must have been some tip.  Finally, I looked in his checkbook and saw he had given her a $500 tip.  So, being me, I didn't say anything even though it bothered me.  All the times that his appointments seemed to take an hour or more started to bother me.  Sometimes I would say, wow, that took a long time.  He'd always say, we were talking, or I had to wait.

Last night he had an appointment and took about an hour and a half.  This time I was irked about it and asked him and he got mad at me.  This morning, he asked why I was being "so stupid" about it.  I blew up and said maybe it's the $500 tip, and all of the long appointments, and not to call me stupid.  So, now he is mad at me, which I feel is the way he kind of "puts me in my place" for daring to say something.  I honestly don't think anything is going on, but I also think it's weird to have given her a $500 tip because he "felt sorry for her."  Just trying to decide if I'm being "stupid" or if it sounds weird to anyone else.

Hi, I am looking for a little advice.  I am moving from my apartment after 3-1/2 years.  I am asthmatic and the lady under me is a very heavy smoker and the smoke infiltrates my apartment so badly that I have often thought of going to a hotel for the night. That is really not my issue. This lady has her rights and it is just time to move to a healthier apartment for me and my severe asthma.  Here is the big question:

My landlord has been asked on several occasions to try to find where the smoke is getting through to my place.  I have never made this a personal issue with the smoke, just a structural issue that might be resolved.  Everything they tried to do never really worked.  However, for the last 1-1/2 years, this landlord has been promising to put my DH and myself in another two bedroom apartment in the same complex. The time kept passing and it never happened.  Finally, I had enough and decided to ask to break my lease (with a doc's note).  The landlord THEN said to me "there will never be another 2 bedroom apartment because if another smoker moves under you, you will have the same situation."   Probably this is not the case, as the buildings are 40+ years old and the particular building I am in has "settled" leaving cracks in ceilings, etc.  Some of the other buildings do not have this problem.  SO, my question.... Keeping me signing a new lease in the hopes of getting a new apt and then telling me no, is that not DESCRIMINATION against my asthma?  I have been very patient and kind to everyone involved, and find that I am just getting kicked in the butt.  I know that smoking is a brittle issue with a lot of people, especially smokers who have been kicked out of just about everywhere and made to stand outside.  I understand that and I have not made this a "smoking war".  I have tried to find a structural way to solve it and if it cant be done, then I am just moving out . Easy as that.  Still, I can't help but feel bitter at the landlord who promised me another apartment and didn't deliver, saying I would have the same issues.  I have lived in apartments all my life and never had an issue like this, probably because this lady is an extremely heavy smoker (4 packs a day) and she does not open her windows.  The problem was inevitable. This is not a normal "smoker" issue.  Any comments on where I could stand legally would help. I know this is a "constructive eviction" which means the apt. was not habitable for me because of my asthma and I moved due to that.  any help is appreciated. tks in advance.  Sorry so long.