Need advice on niece
Posted By: auntieMT on 2008-01-23
In Reply to:
My sister has a daughter, 7, with some behavioral and speech problems. In school today the teacher asked her to "hurry up" and my niece grumbled and gave a look. Apparently, on the bus she told her classmates that she was going to "put a bomb in Miss _____'s milk." Those students in turn told the teacher. Teacher responded by telling niece it was inappropriate and that she was spending time with the principal tomorrow. My sister is at a loss on how to approach my niece about this. She is kinda of jaded when it comes to this particular daughter, thinking she's just fine, but this niece has always been violent. How should she approach her daughter (in 1st grade) in this situation?
TIA!
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Need advice on a good, adjustable chair for typing. Any advice? nm
nm
niece
Oh yeah, she may be mad at you now but just look at it this way in the future she will look back and be very thankful that you stepped in! Don't let yourself be talked into not mentioning it and keeping quite. This could end up being her life you are talking about here!
One niece was an MT
for a physical therapy place until it went out of business. She was making a lot of money but only knows physical therapy stuff. Two other nieces have talked to me about it, but one is not motivated enough to work at home unsupervised. The other niece recently had to quit her job in graphic design to stay home with her 1 year old son who has been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.
I wish my niece could know you
She needs to develop a backbone and realize there is life after a "control freak", abusive, alcoholic, drug dependent jerk!!!! You go, girl - so glad you found a millionaire - Does he have a brother between 48-55? I never know when my circumstances may change. Love my husband, but you never know - he's lots older than me - I have to be prepared, ya know? Next time, I want nice, fun and definitely rich, so I can do this job only if I want to, not to pay the bills.
my niece
You can tell them not to be like my niece who is going to be 14 in about a week. She is a young lady now. She does not bathe, brush her hair, wear deodorant, or brush her teeth. She has now gotten over 13 cavities and will be spending the next sets of mondays at the dentist getting teeth fixed. She also has terrible gum disease. I have tried talks but she is not my child. She does not live with me so it is hard for her to listen to her mother. Her mother really isn't much better. Instead of washing clothes, when she was younger, she would just take her to a thrift store and buy whatever they had. Tight clothes, too small, too big or whatever. Tell them they don't want to be the stinky kid with dirty clothes, hair, teeth that are crusty and bleeding, with clothes on like that. We now call it "don't be a morgan" to my 12 year old who does not want to brush his teeth or retainer, mostly because he does not rinse the retainer off enough and it tastes funny. HA.
your niece
What a GORGEOUS baby!!
You certainly are blessed, and your sister is blessed to have a sister as kind-hearted as you to have come stay with her!
Merry, merry Christmas!
My niece
the love of my life! doing this right here! holding her as much as I can!!!
PS i understand about your cat though... before i moved closer to be with my niece, my dogs would always make me happy
My sister and niece
are really cat people, too. They are really funny. My sister used to have one, Luke, a big black cat wearing a texedo, who would every year without fail stalk a wooden Christmas elf we set out, glare at it for a minute or two, then take that giant paw and give a big swipe and knock it to the floor. Every year, same elf, same reaction. What a gem! We laughed til we cried! Thanks again. I am meeting a friend tonight for dinner, and her two cats are the love of her life!
How often do you see your niece/nephews
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law moved back to this state recently after being gone for many years. They have 2 teenagers. All 4 are living with grandparents right now, most probably indefinitely but that's a whole other story. My question is how often do your niece/nephews spend the night at your house? Mine are also out of state so it is hard to say what it would be from that side. I just feel like after having little family here for so many years I am now on family overload. These kids want to stay and be with us all the time. Granted, I understand they have no friends bc they aren't in school yet and they like us more than gma/gpa and their own parents but I rarely say no bc I don't want to be the bad guy but I like my piece and quiet! and of course I like less mess to clean up. not to mention teenagers are expensive. So what's the average out there? Once, twice a month?
My niece recomended something to me that
WORKS AND IMMEDIATELY!!!!! She told me last year and I kept using other things and a few weeks ago bought it and she nailed it!!!
GOLD BOND! 
I got the Medicated, but my sister got regular and she says the same thing. THIS STUFF WORKS. The medicated is wonderful because it instantly cools the skin and NO MORE ITCH. It is menthol, and therefore would not use it on face or around the eyes, but it has STOPPED the unrelenting itch of legs and arms for me!
My niece died from
obstructive sleep apnea at 37. I did not see at my father's funeral. I was not called when she died. My brother's wife called my first cousin and he passed the news on to his mother (my maternal aunt) and maternal aunt called me. I had no idea (being as my brother did not speak nor want me in their lives) that the niece had gone thru so much. My aunt and I went to the funeral home and funeral and the mother told me about what kind of life she had, drugs, alcohol, prison - yes prison. No one ever told me and this was about 3 times she was in prison. I never knew anything about these kids coming up. The mother told me the niece did not have insurance, could not afford CPAP. I would have bought that had I known but like I said, brother made the decision to NOT have me around and I went along with his wants. The only heirs would be my brother's children, not his wife, not ever. I am sorry you do not tend to understand this but this is the case. In the years since 1973 no one from that family called until nephew in jail in maybe 1986 or 1987. I never heard my name called by Aunt on the first part of it. Only sibling I had. I have complete peace of mind and sleep like a baby. After my brother died with his children being 4 and 6, his wife could have reached out to me then, did not happen. All water under the bridge, long time ago.
Oh and the model is my niece....sm
But she is like my own. I have kept her a lot since she was 5 weeks old. Sis-in-law is single and when she would date I would keep her. The child's dad is a loser. He walked away when sis-in-law got pregnant and hasn't seen Addie since she was an infant and doesn't want to even though he lives a few miles away. So I say she is better off without him.
Praying for your niece and family....
Lost my dad to this a year ago, about 5 years after being diagnosed. Blessings and strength to your family.
RE: Thanks everyone for your replies. I have forwarded them on to my niece who is the one (sm)
who had the positive test. She is only 21 and this is her first pregnancy. All your replies are greatly appreciated!! Thank you!
I'm sorry to hear about your niece, Lilly
I'll keep her in my prayers.
It is totally ridiculous, my niece just went to hers
and got her dress and all the accessories at David's Bridal, it was more like 500.00 or so. That's not including the extra cash she needed to go out afterwards to *Friday's*. They are 14 years old! AND then they expect these Sweet 16 parties? LOL Well, if the parents do it, they're to blame. I don't really know if it's actually for the kid or just to *keep up with the Joneses* or to try to impress or what it is but it is getting out of hand now. We had none of that stuff growing up. I think our parents were smarter than that and didn't put themselves in DEEP DEBT with credit cards etc. So at least we'll be getting inheritances. These kids will be crying down the road that their parents spent theirs! Oh well ;) LOL
Talk to niece not your sister
Make this an oppotunity to bond with your niece. Don't tell her who told you, just talk to her alone and in a nonconfronting manner. Her sexuality is none of anyones business, teens have sex its been happening for 100s of years. She needs to know you are concerned about her health (pregnancy happens and lives change and things usually work out okay, but STDs can kill and infect more than just her. Offer to take her to a clinic to get tested and encourage that if she is going to be active then she needs to be on birth control plus a barrier method for her safety and her partners' safety. I would also talk to her about the drinking any other substance use that , may be going on. Offer her your ear to listen to her need to fit in, which is probably what is going on. She will hate you if you go to her mom,try talking to your niece first. See if she wants to go out for some girl time, shopping at the mall and out to lunch or something. Car rides are a great opportunity to talk and bond with nieces, daughters, etc..., and she can't storm out of the car if she gets upset.
That's what I told Lisa, my niece. She was in
disbelief. What really hurts is that her little girl was with her, and there is nothing in the world more important to her little girl than her "kitties." She carries them around and surrounds them with stuffed animals and is turning into a wonderful pet person. I am just so happy about that! I don't always approve of kids having pets, especially when very, very young. My niece waited until her daughter was of the age and understanding of respecting them until they went to the shelter, then back later for a second one after her little one kept asking for another! What a happy home for the cats! They found the pot at the end of the rainbow with the two of them! LOL!!! 
I agree with you on that. I saw it for myself when my niece married. SM
Her husband's sister just automatically developed an additude toward my niece, who is very quiet and very nice and could not be a better wife and mother. The sister was actually jealous of my niece and actually made comments about how no one would have ever been good enough for her "Joey." My niece was good to his family whenever they visited (they lived out of state) but finally told her husband that she would prefer to stay at his mom's house when they visited, even though the house was smaller. She was tired of the cold shoulder she got at ther sister's house. I saw it with my own eyes. It truly can happen for no reason whatsoever. The rest of the family loves my niece.
niece and restaurant -- are those right? can't get 'em
just hate that. i've added those to my Expander so they correct themselves... i know there's more ...
My 13 y.o. niece has just been dx with Grave's disease. Does anyone here have any info or sm
advice on what I can tell my brother about this? They are such a precious family. Brother visibly upset over this because he has been disciplining her for behavioral problems, etc., when all along it's been here thyroid. They want to do radiation right away to help shrink it? Or possibly remove thyroid altogether. She is so pretty. I spent the summer with them and yes, she did act diff. from other 13 year olds, looked very developed for her age (to me), and her eyes weren't bulging to me. I'm so glad they caught it today. It sounded like she was in the early stages of shock with fever, shakiness, etc.
Anyone with experience in this? Thank you so much.
Lucky you! My niece has a red Australian Cattle Dog
and she is adorable. Name is Reggie. She was taught to ring a bell when she needed to go out and learned to do so in 2 days! She herds everyone when they are in the pool and my niece must actually stop her or she gets blisters on her little feet and is worn out! They are incredible. I know some people refer to them as Heelers as well, maybe the same thing or maybe a tad different. In any event, what a great dog!!
I am in Bluefield, VA. My niece is in her first year at Marshall. nm
!
That is so cute! My niece's little girl cracks me up, too. She
just painted a picture for me that she has been working on for quite some time. I went over on Saturday night and she had me close my eyes for the unveiling. It is adorable. She made a yellow background because she knows it is my favorite color. They are so precious, aren't they?
She is gorgeous, and a twin to my niece's beautiful cat, Nina! NM
XX
Niece died with sleep apnea, husband has
I know how dangerous- the niece was 39. Hubs also wears the mask every single night. He and I both know well about this. He has a brother who absolutely needs, had wreck driving in the daytime, somnolent but cannot tell some people.
Good grief, we didn't even go to either of my niece's graduations
and they both live here in our town. We love them both dearly and are very close to them but they both said it didn't bother them. They go to different high schools and there is limited seating at one of them. Each graduate only gets 7 tickets and after parents, grandparents, and siblings we really couldn't go. We did go their grad parties and they were more excited about what was in their card anyway. LOL Your husband needs to let his sister know that he plans to have a vacation with his entire family, so it is either go see them a week later, or go wherever you choose.
Just bought Jonas Brothers Tickets for 12 yo niece
Her and 2 of her friends. Should be interesting. LOL. Don't forget Bobby Sherman in that group.
The bell is a great idea! My niece's cattle dog learned to SM
ring the bell in 2 days and has done it ever since. It is adorable. If no one lets her out right away she looks around and takes that leg and swings it and hits it the second time. It is a wonderful idea.
I have been asked to handle the bridal shower for my niece's wedding and I need ideas!
My niece is 18 and getting married very young, but not getting married because she "has" to, if you know what I mean. However, the maid of honor is my other niece who is 17 and not in a position to plan and pay for a bridal shower and so I've been asked to plan and then co-host the shower with my neice, the maid of honor for my niece, the bride. Confused yet?
And the wedding is in August! So I need to decide on a theme, location, and get invitations out by July. I want to do something unique and fun, but right now I can't seem to work up a unique idea to save my life! Help!
My niece had a Yorkie, the love of her life! We all loved her so. Lots of love in store for you.
XX
Re: Advice
I am a new mom to a beautiful baby girl. I didn't think I would mind going to work part-time. Well, I've been crying my self to sleep every night. I have my B.A. in Business Administration and have been in the banking industry for 6 years. I have been searching all over for a legitimate work at home opportunity. It seems like medical transcription is a great opportunity. I'd like advice from people who do this from home. I'd like to know where you got the training and what your first job was (since that seems to be a big issue). Also, will my B.A. help at all? I know employers like people with MT experience but I accquired other skills such as meticulous attention to detail that I know is needed. Any and all information is greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Please see Main board for all transcription-related topics. This message has been moved to Main.
advice
I do have to say that unless you already have an "in" it is difficult to find a job. Most places won't hire you if you don't have at least two years experience but you can't get experience unless someone hires you. You don't necessarily have to get certified right away just take an accredited program that is specifically for medical transcription. Once your done with school just keep trying, don't give up and try to take your time and ace the preemployment tests. If you do really well some places will give you an offer even if you don't have experience. Take the first job you can get because even if it doesn't pay well you are still gaining experience and it will make it easier for you to get a new job.
Cat advice please....
I have a kitten who is appx. 7 months old. He refuses to eat any kind of cat food, canned, dry, dry mixed with canned, dry mixed with water, cat treats, etc. I have tried baby food, dog food, etc. He will only eat KMR weaning powder, which I mix with water. Have tried to mix food into it but he will not eat it. He tries to cover everything up like it should be in the cat box! No vet seems to concerned about this...he likes to eat chicken, people food chicken that is, and turkey. I am stumped.
This cat MUST learn to eat before May because I am going on vacation for 3-1/2 weeks...any suggestions for this problem? 
Thanks for the advice....sm
I will give each a try! I hate to leave him while on vacation, but have no other choice. And the only reason it is for so long is because I don't fly and my DH and I are driving cross country to see family...I'm sure he will be fine, but no kids at home anymore so they are my babies! It's nice to have people to bounce ideas off of! 
I thank you all for your advice - I am
an animal lover, have 2 cats, 2 dogs. Love feeding the birds outside. I can't help feeling betrayed by these outside creatures that probably fill their bellies at my bird feeders and have now started war on my house. I guess I will start off with putting some Dcon in the attic - as much as I hate to kill them, I don't want my house chewed apart either. I just hope they don't die and rot someplace where I can smell them.
My cats were going crazy last night and spent much of the night gazing up at the ceiling in my bedroom with their mouths watering. I hope at least tonight the invader picks another part of the house to snack and dig so I can get some sleep.
Thanks again for the advice.
And Hayseed - I agree that Indian is a little un-PC, so are some of the ones with the smiley faces shooting at each other, but they're pretty funny (I guess unless you're Indian)!
Re: Looking for advice
Thanks, that was very helpful! I'm sorry about the info overload, I guess I just wasn't sure exactly where to begin asking. I think I'll just get the basic foot pedal, upgraded computer, headphones etc. and get some finanicing for the "extras" that may come up and take the plunge.
My advice to you is
Get yourself the book - think it is called Co-Dependent No More and get yourself to a support group ASAP - not sure what they are called - but if someone here does not tell you then call AA yourself and find out the name of the support group for spouses, family, etc. AND if you don't find a supportive support group - hunt around until you do - DO NOT GIVE UP. Help yourself to understand this disease/disorder and get help for yourself and then you can help him through this process also. Thank goodness you do not have children and good for you for asking for help. E-mail me if you want - lots of alcoholics in my family and would be glad to help you!! Take care. Will be praying for you.
This is THE best advice yet. I always will take on sm
10-year-old son's friends, especially when they say rude things. I'll say, "excuse me, what did you just say? Well, we do not talk like that in this house." And I promise you, they either stop coming around or they are VERY polite around me. If they do slip and say something rude they will immediately cover their mouths and say I'm sorry while looking at me. I do scare them a bit, I suppose. But I show them my authority and that I will not stand for that kind of nonsense and then they stop.
If they did that to me I would have immediately turned around and said, "what did you just say?" And then I'd tell a little white lie and say, "I know exactly who you 2 are" (and I'd say it so convincingly) and then say, "It looks like a call into your mother and father is in order today." Have a nice day, guys."
Thanks for the advice
I am assuming he did it sometime on Sunday. He came limping to the house on Monday morning and there was no sign of blood, no fresh blood or no old blood. It doesn't appear to be infected at all. Now that the flap is gone, I don't see any open areas at all. No swelling or redness and it is not touchy at all. He lets me manipulate it and even squeeze his paw so I don't think there is any infection there. I guess we are really bad - but no vets bills unless absolutely no other alternative!
Need advice about how to get what I want done
Okay here goes I can handle a department but when it comes to cleaning my home I have problems getting across what I want or maybe I am too nice. Tell me what you think please!!!
My home is 1st /2nd floor with a basement (laundry /storage). I want them to thoroughly clean the kitchen (any dishes, counters, stove, fridge sweep mop etc) clean all three bathrooms(completely), dust living room, dining room, and hallways. Tidy guest bedroom (you know dust vacuum). I do not want them to clean anyof the childrens rooms or mine or touch my office. I want all door sills wiped/dusted and ceiling fans and lamps cleaned and about the windows divided out so that they are cleaned at least once a month my kids have to clean theirs weekly. I am prepared to pay $100 to $120 a visit and want them in one a week or every other week which ever works better for them so that it stays decent and can be completed within a 3-5 hour time range. I have to be home when they do it because my dog will not allow it otherwise.
My problem is this I was told what I was asking was not over and above and that I was paying an extremely fair wage since the area they are actually cleaning is less than have the square footage. No work in the basement, only hallway and to small bathrooms on the second floor and all of the first floor. A couple of companies I tried were horrible right off the bat and were not asked back. The individuals seemed to work the best but after a month or two the work was being half done and I would have to go behind them checking. I do not have time for this and I do tip usually about $20 a visit. How do you get them to do everything you want. Should I be totally anal and make a check list and if it is not done subtract from their next visit???(husbands suggestion). I just want it done right I am willing to pay good money so that I can spend my free time with my kids and my husband not scrubing toilets and windows.
Thanks I appreciate any advice
Thanks for the advice- however I do not believe
she is depressed, has loads of things to keep her busy. She basically hurt my feelings when she broke her hip last year and I asked what she would like, pears so I got those, knowing she loved chocolate, got some of that and got some flowers. Oh, I had overdone it, too much. I do not remember her saying anyone else had overdone something. I am not going to say anything but that still does not justify running down something I basically went out of my way to provide for her. I only wish I had a son or daughter either 1 that I could count on like she can with me. Oh, well, guess I will just stop trying to be so kind and keep more to myself.
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.
/
advice
I would definetely NOT call the mom. I would try and convince the girl to go to her parents but that is probably scary for her. The clinic is the next best bet and decision can be made from there depening on the result. YOu do not want to betray your daughter. She will be very upset and may not forgive you. I wonder what in the world was this girl thinking to even put herself in this situation. Obviously she figured the morning after pill would be the solution.
need advice
Okay, you all are probably going to think this crazy, but I need some advice and input on a situation. There is a new guy at my church who has flirted with me, sometimes in the presence of my husband. I'm not sure if my husband has said something to him or maybe had someone else say something, but recently, he has gotten to where he will not speak to me at church if there is anyone around. As long as there is no one around, he speaks but doesn't attempt to hug or flirt like he did at one time. He does call me chick and things of that nature (of course, when no one is around), but I'm totally confused on what is going on with him. Yes, I'm married, but my husband has treated my girls and myself like we're nothing the past couple of years and has been verbally abusive, and we've only stayed because everytime I try to leave he gets in the doorway and will not let us go - and he's a big man!! I would appreciate any advice.
advice
First of all MT student, this is no drama story. I think I sent out the wrong message here. I'm not wanting to leave my husband because "church guy" is flirting with me. My husband has been very dishonest the past couple of years about money situations, taxes, etc. plus the verbal abuse and just being a reall jack a**. I can see where you all are coming from with "church guy" though. I guess I hadn't thought about how he really is because I was too caught up in the fact that he was flirting with me even though I'm married. Thanks for your replys and advice.
thank you for the advice .... nm
need advice...
I need advice on something. Does anyone have/had teenage daughters? I have a niece that is 15. Won't be 16 until end of December. I have heard recently through my son and mutual friends of theirs that she has been sexually active for quite some time. She has also been drinking when she is away for overnighters with friends. Do I talk to my sister about this in case she isn't aware of it? My friend tells me I should stay out of it and say nothing. Part of me does not agree with that. If I had a teenage daughter I would want to know. It would be bothersome to me but I'd want to know so I was sure she was being safe and obviously would not get pregnant. I don't condone any of this but they sure are going to do what they want to do and isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
What would you do in this situation because quite honestly I'm driving myself crazy going back and forth with this issue. It's a touchy subject with alot of people I have found out. Some say they would not want to know. Others say it's an invasion of privacy with my niece and she may be very angry with me afterwards. Others say my sister could be mad because I came to her in the first place about a matter that may not be any of my business. I have three boys so this is not my cup of tea. I love all my nieces and treat them like my own children but this topic has hit me hard. When I found this out on Sunday...I cried the entire night. It's how I found out and what is being said about her that really, really bothers me.
I appreciate any suggestions from anyone.
Thanks.
my advice
My daughters are now college age but looking back they went through the same stuff. Girls can only be friends with one at a time. When there is three the drama starts or the gossip etc. My daughters were the one that was usually left out. I tried to rationalize it with them and discuss it etc and gave alternatives but the best thing I could of did was backed away and told them to handle it themselves. My daughters were on and off again for years with the same girls for that reason. One day so and so did not like this one, the next day my daugheter was her best friend again. You did handle it right by reminding her that she did the same thing.
Any advice on
a good 30-minute exercise program? Can't afford to buy anything, go to a gym or anything like that. I am 5ƍ and weight probably about 160-165 and want to get back to 120. Can't do Weight Watchers or anything that costs money! I am trying to watch what I eat, but need to start exercising and don't really know what to do other than sit-ups, jumping jacks, etc. Any advice? Would like to get back to 120 by January/February at least!
Advice from my dad:
"Marry an orphan."
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