National Domestic Violence Website and phone #...
Posted By: clemmie on 2008-12-17
In Reply to: Is this an abusive marriage or not? (sm) - anon
If you haven't already visited this website, it's very useful: www.ndvh.org, National Domestic Violence website. The hotline # is 1-800-799-7233, available to all 50 states. You can call them just to talk and, if wanted, they can help you formulate a plan to get yourself and your children out of this situation. Ask yourself this question: Do you want to live like this, in fear, walking on egg shells, for the rest of your life? I feel for you and I'll keep you in my prayers. One other thing, I don't want to be alarmist, but when you visit any websites, like the above, you might want to make sure you erase the history on your computer each time so no one else can see where you've been.
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Domestic Violence/Alcoholism Question
First, let me state this pity is neither desired or deserved. This is a situation that I allowed to perpetuate so I deserve no sympathy. Also, I apologize for it being so long; I never learned the long-story-short lesson.
I was involved/lived with with an alcoholic who turned verbally abusive after a 12-pack, physically abusive after 18. For reasons that even I don't know (although I'm sure Freud could figure it out), I stayed with him for over a year. However, about 3 months ago, we had gone on vacation, his drinking and violence escalated and, after he kicked in a door at the condo we were staying in, I called 9-1-1, fearing that few slaps I had taken so far were going to progress to where he choked me again. In the past when the violence got really bad (about once every 4-6 weeks), I could just get in my car and drive the hour back to my house. This time, the whole thing was at 2:00 in the morning and my home was a 10-hour drive away; he was footing the bill, so I didn't even have the money for gas.
The original trial was supposed to be the end of April. He remained sober from the time of 'the incident', and we stayed together, until he jumped off the wagon 2 days before the trial, at which point I returned home. I was not going to testify, at which point the charges I guess would have been dropped (per the prosecutor; my ex had declined a plea deal that would have meant no jail time). I reasoned that maybe he had finally hit bottom and realized alcohol was ruining his life, but obviously not. The prosecutor ended up calling me the day before the trial to ask if I planned to be in attendance. I literally did not have gas money to get down there (abusive alcoholics take a toll on one's paycheck/bank account), and told him that, and the trial has subsequently been postponed and is coming up in about 2 weeks.
My question is...is it worth actually showing up and testifying? The ex is obviously a drunk, destroying the life of the adolescent son who adores him (how normal is it for the son to have to carry daddy up the steps to bed?). I can rationalize that it's good for the son to get away from daddy and his drunken pot-smoking buddies for a while or that maybe the ex will get rehabilitated. But in truth, the biggest thing for me would be vengeance for being used and abused. Would you go ahead and testify or just cut your losses and move on? As a side note, I'm not the first woman he's hit (although the others were drunk stoners and cop-haters); also, it's not that I would be destroying a man's perfect record- he has a felony DUI conviction after 3 misdemeanor ones and numerous in other states that never caught up with him(I found that out after going out with him 2 months...Bill Engvall echoes in my head- here's your sign).
Thoughts? Do I go for the vengeance or vacate?
GOOD FOR YOU! But, think of yourself first. call the domestic violence hotline FIRST.
They will refer you to any other agency that is needed. Perhaps you do not need to deal with his AA right now. I only say this because you can only concentrate on 1 thing at a time, and you need to get your self-esteem and self-care up. Then, you will learn he has to seek out AA, you cannot make him go if he does not want to. Perhaps the domestic violence counselor will direct you to Survivors of Alcoholics, etc. But please put yourself first right now. And put your safety first right now. But don't listen to me. Listen to them on that hotline and do not be afraid to take whatever steps they counsel you to do, they are experienced and know how to help you best. Keep up the good work.
Has there really been much more violence since Saddam
was executed? I haven't been watching the news with New Years and all.
more domestic emergencies
I wonder if my PS will excuse my sudden disappearance for a half hour just now - my grandson broke into my office shouting Hurry, grandma, hurry!! ebay has a terrific sale going out in 7 minutes for this huge bunch of knights...etc. HURRY!!! So I frantically tried to find my ebay account, sent in a bid, but it just closed....so sad! Am trying to calm down and back to work. ha!
domestic emergencies-y'know it's a wierd day when
this week (Tue. I believe) I had to email my PS to take two 15-minute blocks off my time card to upblock the toilet and clean up the over-flow (twice)! Argghhh. I still don't know what didn't go down!
Tx for the popsicle-on-tongue boo-boo idea. Have you seen 1/2 rubbing alcohol:1/2 water and a few drops of food coloring to make ice packs?
domestic emergencies-y'know it's a wierd day when
The kids are quiet, you're typing along, when your six-year-old comes crying into the room with a needle-threader stuck to his tongue. Drop everything to assist... Oh, the joys of working at home uninterrupted -- Any other funny dilemmas you've had to deal with? LOL :) Back to work after a soothing popsicle...
Are you the Anon who was worried abt possibly violence or hubby taking your kids? m
Best of luck to you for taking the steps to change your life. I wish you well.
National Malaria Day
I know that mosquito nets on beds could save so many lives in Africa. At the risk of sounding totally ignorant, what about during the day when they are not sleeping? I am going to discuss with my youth group tonight raising money to help buy nets, (we take on a different project every 6 months), and I would like to have as mush info as possible. I went to NothingButNets.net and it really didn't give a lot of info except the benefits of bed netting.
What is this? National HOAX day, or something?..nm
nm
I would take his phone away or make him pay the bills for the phone
He can use the postal service to write her letters if he wants but there is no excuse. College is not highschool and if he's gonna make a go of it...be the parent and discipline....my opinion but take the phone away.
National Honor Society
Have been asked by a friend to write a letter of recommendation for her daughter for National Honor Society, unfortunately I stink at letter writing, any suggestions?
Not OP but one thing may be don't work for a national.........LOL
x
Yes, but their source is the National Enquirer
I will believe it when there's a credible source and in the meantime, hope it isn't true.
Interesting about the national spelling bee...
7 of the 10 finalists are Indian.. probably American raised, but there were a few parents in the audience in Indian garb. The winner's last name is Shivashankar (sp!). Man, though, all these kids are really sharp! They were allowed to ask questions about the origin of the words, etc.
How many of us MT's are former spelling bee winners? I bet lots. 8th grade county champ here. My final word was ptomaine.
Did anyone watch the national spelling bee last night...sm
and feel like a dunce like I did? My husband & I felt brilliant when we were able to spell the words they used.... but missed most.
It was national news about Indiana's tax increase!
I read that they were increased between 30-60%! And the state's spending increased by about 30%. So, they spend more, and the average Joe gets screwed.
I'm not saying it won't happen here, but we're on 3/4 acre, and our taxes (property and house) was about $280. for the year. I thank God for that!
Apparently it's national cheeseburger day today..sm
or that's what I'm being told by the kids.
I did see a sign in Kwik Trip saying it was, so I guess I have to believe them:-)
Of course, they also told me it would be against the law if we didn't have cheeseburgers, and I certainly can't set a good example for them if I break the law. Yeah...not buying that one, but I'll make cheeseburgers anyway:-)
Yesterday was National Men Make Dinner Day
Too bad I just found about it. Did any of you know about this?
National Geographic animal stories
Especially the one about the bush dogs, or the Japanese snow monkeys. My sister says there's a sad one about a fox, too. Don't ever watch these right before you're expecting company, or going out! :(
If you want to do something, go to this website:
http://www.americanidol.com/
Yes, it's American Idol, but it's called American Idol Gives Back. If you want to save 4 children from dying from Malaria, donate $10. Yup, $10 buys enough drugs for 4 kids with Malaria. Bono of U2 is involved, among many others. None of the singers were kicked off tonight, so anybody crying over American Idol tonight is crying over images of dying babies. For real.
The website
Alright here it is =) It's a little hard to understand right at first but don't give up!! =)
http://www.moneysavingmom.com/
I believe it's under Walgreens 101
Go to the IRS website
www.irs.gov, click on rebate info, then click on where's my stimulus payment. It will tell you exactly when you will get it and how much. All you need is your SS#, filing status and number of people claimed on your taxes.
According to the FTC website...
you don't have to pay for anything you receive that you did not request.
Website
I'll let you know when it's done. This CPSIA issue has been holding me back some.
is there a website for this; what is it?
nm
you did NOT offend hon!! That website....sm
You did nothing wrong - it's that website is what seems offensive - not the fact you supplied the link to Jewish entertainers/performers. It *looks* innocent enough until one goes and checks out not only the website itself but the ISP/DNS ownership/registration/sponsorship. And then to list the ADL (antidefamation league) under HATE GROUPS was the absolute straw -
I wrote them a letter all about my opinion of that site too!!!
Have a GREAT evening!!! 
Sure, it came from the AFA.net website. AFA stepped up
to the plate and called several companies (nicely) on the carpet. Some companies obliged and some didn't. Over 700,000 people had signed a boycott of Target stores and within a week, Target changed their stance and the boycott ceased. These companies need to realize that surveys have proven that about 96% of the American population celebrate CHRISTMAS.
Do you believe there is even a website for this? inside...
http://www.ehow.com/how_16647_rid-home-crickets.html
Good website for what you need
I found a very informative site that I used to find a gift for an elderly aunt who is hard to buy for. This site asks for sex, age, relation to you,etc and full of ideas. Try it at
wwwfindgift.com.
Happy shopping!!
here - you can compare all over at this website..n/m
i went to the website and I read they only use
check out this website...
tops.org
You can enter your zip code and find a meeting near you. They are everywhere. It's just once a week for one hour. No gimmicks, just a support group of friendly, kind people who can help you through the rough times. Less than $25 for the entire year plus $3 each month.
I sent you an email with the URL of a website that
.
Here's a website that discusses it.
I don't do indoor plants - sorry.
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1216/is_n3_v180/ai_6402459
Thanks. I'll look for their website. (nm)
.
Whoa, what a website! So many to try!
x
thanks for the cookie website nm
x
Well, according to their website WE DID get the most votes by over 100,000. So....
I'm not sure how Lockport was declared the winner. Anyhow, YES, we are so blessed to have been given this MRI.
Yes, please give us the website. Thank you.
.
here's a good website
http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/herpes.html
Okay, here's a fantastic website for you...sm
Here you'll find all the articles:
http://www.dogtrainingbasics.com/articles.htm
But here is the specific article on potty training:
http://www.dogtrainingbasics.com/PottyTraining.htm
I don't know this trainer, but it looks to me like she's been very generous with her knowledge in writing all these articles and making them available for free on her website.
I wish you the best of luck with your puppy. Please let us know how it goes! ;o) BTW, what is her name?
anyone know of a good website to buy ..... sm
refurbished or cheap cell phones that are unlocked? i have a Go phone and just need a different phone.
thanks
Here's her website info
http://www.helpfindcaylee.com/help
Autism website
Hello everyone.
I am a mother to a 7-year-old little boy who has autism. I've had so many conversations about autism and being a mother with a son who has autism that i've decided to start a blog. There are so many mothers out there who feel alone (i'm one of them at times) that it'd be nice to read other peoples thoughts and feelings on the topic without it being sugar-coated. Here's the website if you know somebody with autism or just want to read what it's like at times.
www.autismwho.blogspot.com
Thanks, I will get a quote on their website. (nm)
x
I love this website.
nm
Okay, I never thought to look for a website -
I just watch them on YouTube all the time and of course I have both of their albums and all of their B-Side Collection on my iTunes. Want to get Ragdoll and Myself too. Don't they put on a show?! Adam is so yummy! They were on 90210 one episode, which should be coming up in a few weeks on SoapNet on Sleep In Saturday.
Oh! And check out my website
www.thepitstop.ecrater.com
Candy and website
I am working on getting it back up and running...tell me what your interested in and I will send you some pics.
I got mine on the day it said on the website - nm
x
his website is phoenixtears.ca/
nm
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