My stepson is 8 months younger than me (sm)
Posted By: Apple Scruff on 2007-09-22
In Reply to: Poll here- my husband is 10 years younger but would you date - Jennie
My ex was my age. He was a flop. Not that that experience kept me from dating men my own age. It didn't, and I wasn't seeking out an older man, either.
I became friends with my current husband at work. We were both side-by-side charge nurses. We had a lot of fun together and the residents loved when we worked together. I had the extreme pleasure of seeing what a caring, considerate, and gentle person he is to people he cared for at his job. He is unbelievable.
He knew I had a daughter from my ex. I knew he had 2 grown sons, one of them a few months younger than me. It was weird at first kissing on a guy with more wrinkles than I was used to. However, the fact that I was a nurse and had a child with an ex already meant to him that I had experienced some life already. I guess that made me fair game. :) The age thing does not affect us at all, especially now. At first it took getting used to, but now it is nothing. The only thing I fear is not having someone to grow old with, but nobody knows what will happen with their life day to day.
We subsequently had 2 more little girls together. We have 3 girls to raise now. I have since become a step-grandma to a wonderful little boy. We just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. I couldn't be happier. He never thought he'd have more children, but he thinks it is absolutely incredible to do again. He says he appreciates his kids more now that he's older. Not that he doesn't appreciate his older kids, it's just different.
I went to his 30-year class reunion. He was congratulated because of his young wife. LOL
I wouldn't date anyone much younger than me. I'd really be robbing the cradle. I prefer robbing the grave with the ol' hubby now. ;) Besides, it's a lot easier when they're older and broken in than when they have to be trained to do things.
Our relationship, though, is not like the stuff portrayed on TV shows. Our relationship is normal, happy, and positive. No big deal.
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19 months younger - nm
x
He looks like stepson's dog, Bruno.
xx
Stepson issues
My stepson is 19 years old and has become a major problem for me. Here is some background. I met my husband when his child was 6 years old. The boy’s mother was an absolute nightmare and, long story short, he came to live with us when he was 9. His mother since has had nothing to do with him, except occasionally raising her ugly head to cause trouble for our family, but nothing as far as mothering him in any way, shape or form. A side note is that she has some serious mental and emotional issues. Once he came to live with us, I have mothered him and supported him throughout his years in elementary school, middle school and high school, doing everything for him as far as school and sports were concerned and we were very close up until he was about 15. Things really started to go downhill when he was about 16. He is, academically, very bright and was on the high honor roll every year from the 7th grade to about the 11th grade. That is when his grades and his attitude became horrible. He came very close to not even graduating from high school, but he pulled through and, by the skin of his teeth, managed to graduate. Outside the home, he seemed to be an angel, but at home he was very disrespectful and rude to both his father and myself and his little brother (11 years younger than himself). He became very snide and mean-spirited and if anyone dared to question his actions or attitude, he would throw a fit, start screaming and swearing at the top of his lungs. Some of the things he has said to me in the past were beyond disrespectful and well into hateful. His father never seemed to want to punish him in any way. (I think because he just did not want to deal with his outbursts.) Fast forward, after a miserable summer, he went off to college about 2-1/2 hours away. I was actually relieved and hoped that maybe some time on his own would make him rethink his attitude at home. Another issue is that he absolutely refuses to do anything close to resembling work to get money for himself, which is a big deal for me, because I think having a good work ethic is important. His father said that because his grades were good, he was not going to push the working issue. He came home after his first year with same crap attitude, had a miserable summer with him and he went back to school…. same old, same old. Now Christmas break is here and he is home. The first thing he does is fight with his father about working over break, which we made clear to him that it was an expectation. Suddenly, low and behold, he does not think he is going to be able to get hours life guarding. I started to feel a little better about things when he was able to get a couple shifts and at least he made some sort of effort. Last night, he was going to take his brother to a wrestling match, which I was glad and appreciated. It was my youngest son’s birthday present and he had been looking forward to going with his brother. We gave them 25.00 for parking and snacks and my youngest had 10.00 of his own money that he saved from his birthday to get whatever he wanted, program, etc. The event ended about 10:30 and they were on the road home (about a 15-minute drive). An hour later, I call the cell phone and ask where they are, answer was on the road. I explained to my stepson that his brother had school and I wanted him right home. 15 minutes later I call again and my stepson asks me if I am an F*ing retard and he said he was on the way home. I knew he was lying immediately. I asked to speak to my son, and he said no, so now I’m really mad. They finally get home and I ask my younger son where they went. He tells that they stopped at his grandmother’s to get something to eat because his brother would not let him get anything at wrestling, but please don’t tell his brother he told because he told him not to say anything to me. I asked if he got a souvenir with his money. The answer was no because his brother would not let him get anything. By this point, I am furious, but just get him ready to go to bed and hit the hay myself. Of course, if I said anything to my stepson, there would be screaming and swearing, and I hate when he behaves this way in front of my 8-year-old. This morning, I asked where my change was from the wrestling. Except for parking and 1 soda, there should be about 25.00 left. He tells me that he is keeping that money to put gas in his car and just refused to give it to me. I am so upset about this that my stomach is in knots. I truly dislike him and just wish he would go away. He has been nothing but a problem for the past 4 years and I am worn out and over it. My level of anxiety is through the roof. I feel terrible for feeling this way, but I am resentful of him and misery he causes our family. I just wish he would go back to school and stay there. I know that this is way too long, but I had to let this out.
My stepson sells marijuana for a living. SM
Last year, he and his girlfriend spent several hundred dollars on gifts for other members of the family. No, I did not want any gift obtained from illegal gains. I honestly don't know how I feel about it.
Stepdaughter makes $62,000 a year as legal assistant. No, not to SS! LOL! She does not have a dime to her name and asks her father for yearly Christmas cash. It makes him sad, because he would really love to buy her a nice gift.
So if you want to attack me as being "bad stepmom" and believe me, I know what that is like since I had one myself, go ahead.
I will take advice about gift cards. Wise choice.
what about dead hubby's millions, fighting her stepson for
she's been fighting to get millions from her dead hubby estate, fighting the son-in-law. Howard is her attorney for that, which has been going on for years. That family has motive.
younger men
My husband is 5 years younger, no problem with age here. My kids get a kick out of it and tell dad that Mom's the boss, because she's older!!
Younger Men
Age is only an indication of how long we have been on this earth. It does not determine our level of intellect, experience, class or style. As long as he is an adult and meets your standards and expectations, that is all that matters. I have seen older me that are a mess and younger ones that are a mess. It is a very individual thing. My husband is 8 years younger and we have a wonderful marriage.
when i was younger
had to move from our home because the owner wanted to remodel. we had been there 5 years.
I'm 7 yrs younger.
x
Wish I had read this when I was younger!
Everything you said was on the mark. Thanks for a great post!
Although I'm several years younger than you (47) I would
say that you are already working at your marriage. You keep the little spats from becoming big arguments, you have a good relationship with your husband, you trust each other, you enjoy his company and he enjoys yours. All of these things are what I consider working at marriage. Those who don't "work" on these things often end up divorced or miserable. Just thank God that you have a wonderful husband and a good marriage. I wouldn't worry too much about "working" on your marriage. Sounds like you're doing a good job of that already. 
Why she might be interested in younger men . . .
It sounds like your mother was devastated when your father died. Wow! Nearly 50 years together! If they had a happy marriage, she probably misses that closeness and wants to experience that again. And, maybe she's looking for younger men, because someone much younger is not likely to die before her. That means, she wouldn't have to experience the pain of being widowed again.
My uncle died just recently. He had been married to his second wife for just two years. His first wife died of cancer five years ago. And his second wife was widowed seven years earlier. When I spoke to his wife after the funeral, she talked about how horrible it was to be widowed twice, and that she didn't want to go through that ever again. But, she also talked about how lucky she was to have experienced two wonderful marriages.
Maybe your mother is looking for the same.... she wants another wonderful love in her life, but she's afraid of being a widow again. That would be reasonable, I think. However, she definitely sounds gullible, and she's looking for love in the wrong place! Has she had any grief counseling? Maybe you can talk to her about what it is she's really looking for. People do things because they are trying to fulfill needs. They repeat behaviors because there's some sort of payoff for what they're doing. She's getting something like a "sugar rush" when she meets these men online. Briefly, her fantasy is fulfilled. But, when the truth is revealed, she's devastated again. I know I'm sounding like a Psych 101 graduate, but that's really what it sounds like to me. She keeps doing this, because she likes that sugar rush. There has to be a way to break that, and to really find a way for her to be comfortable with herself.
I'm so sorry for her pain. She must be so sad after having lost her husband.
yes, she did have talent when much younger.....
She had talent when she was still a good girl........when she still had morals and ethics before choosing her so-many-wrong-paths.
just my opinion.......
Yep - love those younger men *lol*
 And I wouldn't have it any other way.....
I'm with man 4 yrs younger. Nothing wrong with it.
a
I love younger men
they seem happier and more spontaneous! I dated one 3 years younger (no big deal), I also dated one 5 years younger. Go for it, if that is why you are asking.
I am 50! You are younger than me. How is that for positive??? nm
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Younger smartmouth
My stepson is only 5 years old and he is so disrespectful about backtalking. But God forbid if I say anything about it because my husband will jump down my throat. He lets that child get away with murder. He never punishes him by time out or anything. I just feel like by the time he gets 11 years old, he will be horrible. So I am pretty sure that this kid's parents just do not do anything about his smart mouth just like my husband does nothing about his kid's smart mouth. I just dont' get it.
In my younger days
I did a lot of drugs.
When my kids were a bit younger
I would always walk up to school at the end of the day and walk them home. One of my daughter's friends would walk with us and nearly every day ask if she could come over to play after school. I would nearly always say, oh, I don't care. She thought that was so cool - her mom always cared and it was always NO! I say, it's their house too, they can have anyone over if we are going to be home. If they aren't embarassed at the mess, I'm not either.
24.... 10 years younger!!! nm
nm
I LOVE younger men. Seems like all the ones I like,
Glad to be a cougar!
How many years younger?
Mine is 10 and the best thing I have run across.
13 years younger and....
FABULOUS. I never thought I'd have so much in common with someone so much younger but he's turned out to be a definite keeper.
I think younger guys are the best thing around...They're definitely the best angi-aging remedy around, lol!!!
GO COUGARS!!! :)
I'm not the younger generation and I don't sew either
I'm 46 and with the exception of a button here or there, I don't sew either. I also don't iron. My mother did all of those things, it just never trickled over to me. Now, my daughter can sew a few things and her best friend has her own sewing machine and sews quite well.
My younger left at almost 30 and
I hope they do fine and can maintain their own lives outside of mine. I love my own life, I travel quite a bit, do the things I want and to me the child rearing years not half as satisfying as my life is now.
Depends on what age 20 yrs younger is (sm)
If he is early 20s, I say he would probably be temporary. If he is 30 and you're 50...it could possibly work out.
I am 6.5 years younger than my DH - sm
I have a friend who was about 8 years younger, she warned me not to do it as her DH never wanted to go anywhere or so anything. My DH likes to stay home but likes to go out and do stuff too, so that is not an issue for us. My dad is 12 years older than my step-mom, so for it is working for them, will see what happens when he gets infirm. (74/62)
For you younger gals out there. That K-Fed is hysterical! sm
I just read about his party in Chicago (I ran out of work!) and they were GIVING AWAY tickets to his concert last night! He got on stage and with his pants almost to his knees started rapping that he was "single" and if any ladies wanted to be with a pimp! haha! Yeah, what -idiot- would want to be with a guy who has a 2 year old with one woman, and 2 other kids under 2 with another woman (Brittney Spearks) PLUS has another 4 or 5 year old too! What is that - 5 kids?! Hilarious.
And, to boot, he's not making any money with this rap debut and Brittney will pay him 180,000 total in spousal support. Poor guy..
I've just never in my life been embarrassed for someone after reading a story about them! Good night. He was in a VIP room in Chicago letting his "entourage" try on his many gold chains. Isn't that the funniest fricken thing you've ever heard?! Well, he was probably trying to sell them to people so he could pay his child support. Which will be plenty when he's through divorcing.
Yeah, I want to be with a pimp like that. NOT!
The younger ones tend to have more 'stamina.' If the 2 of you get
ENJOY!
When they were younger I just worked while they napped - sm
and late into the night. So maybe 3 hours during the day, then from 9-1 or 2. I had a lot more stamina then, can't do that anymore. They are in school now, work about 5-7 hours during the day now and 2-3 hours at night after dinner (8-10 or 11), squeeze it in as early as I can in the evening as DH usually makes dinner, though I dish it out and the kids and I sit down to dinner together (DH eats later). As I don't have a set schedule this works out very well for me. I plan to alter this for the summer though somewhat by still working 2-3 hours at night, but get up early @ 5 or so, and try to be done my work by 9 a.m. so I can have the days totally free to do as I please with the kids. It will be a bit tiring, and I don't have to do this every day, but it will be worth it!
I just think this younger generation just needs to be taught! sm
I am a woman in my 30s. Got married almost 10 years ago. I lived up north for a long time and married a man from the "true" south. Okay. Here I go - and I may get flamed for this, but here I go...When I lived in NY, I NEVER saw a thank-you note or even saw anyone in my family write one. Never. So, I was never "taught" that you write thank-you notes due to my upbringing.
I think it is a cultural thing. Maybe it's even a socioeconmic thing. Yes, we were very poor growing up in NY. Both my parents made around 26,000 combined with 3 children.
Fast-forward. I move down here, meet this amazing guy with a large family - most have money - lots of it - we have a huge wedding - I receive more gifts than I could even count - met people at my wedding I've never seen before in my life - the southern generosity has been overwhelming, and still is. We go on our long honeymoon and when I get home, my MIL calls and says to me, "Mrs. so and so (from the wedding shower), still hasn't received your thank-you note. Maybe you just forgot to send hers out. In any case, just thought I'd let you know! EMBARASSING! So, I pulled out my thank-you cards that came with my wedding invites and began writing thank you notes. That is where the LOVE of writing thank-you notes and just-writing-to-say-hello notes began. I LOVE doing it now. Love it. My family up north and around the country are amazed.
Here again, I was TAUGHT by my new mother-in-law, so to speak, and she did it in a very tactful manner.
Writing notes is just an amazing ministry and I love to do it. I get them printed off and personalized now with either my initial or my full name. You can get them on ebay, they will print 20 of them for you with corresponding envelopes for around 10 bucks.
Anyways, this was my experience.
My hubby gets that, too. He was younger than yours the first time.
He passed out one night at 2:00 a.m. after getting up to go to the bathroom. Scared the cr@p out of me when I heard a big crash as his head hit the countertop and then the floor. I couldn't get the bathroom door open because he had crumpled against it. I finally got the door open but he was disoriented and even his lips had gone pale. I called the ambulance and we went to the ER in the middle of the night. His blood pressure and head CT were fine. They even tested him for drugs and alcohol because they didn't believe us that we don't do those things.All of his tests came back fine, so the doc diagnosed micturition syncope. The doctor told him to sit down when he urinates at night, and also to get more rest and stay hydrated. Yeah, those were some expensive medical bills for just fainting while he went potty.
Funny, one of my kids brought that up the other day. They vaguely remember being scared at having the fire truck and ambulance at the house, and then Dad being taken to the hospital. They just didn't know why.
Isn't that cute! Looks much younger than her age! Well maintained......sm
sm
Anyone go through a divorce w/younger kids? sm
I've been married almost 12 years and have an 11 y/o and 7 y/o. My husband and I have been fighting almost constantly for the past several months, mostly about him drinking. He had a problem with pot and other substances for about 5 years and finally went back to work a little over a year ago. Ever since then, he has been drinking at least 1/3 of a large bottle of vodka every night but doesn't consider himself an alcoholic because he still goes to work every day. Any time we fight, he threatens to end the marriage because "it just isn't going to work out anyway," while I have always felt you don't throw around the word divorce unless you mean it. Well, I mean it now. I gave him an ultimatum - straighten himself out or I leave with the kids. I am not going to go through 5 years of this again. It is affecting the kids, and my son is acting out to the point of saying he wishes he had never been born. I am giving my husband until after Christmas to decide what he is going to do, and if he does not value our marriage more than his alcohol, I am moving out of state. This is not to keep him away from the kids but because my parents (divorced also) are in a different state than I am and I have no family at all here.
Has anyone had to make a decision like this? I don't want to do this, but I feel I have no other options. He refuses to go to counseling or to see a doctor about what I am positive is depression. Any tips or suggestions? Sorry to dump on everyone like this, thanks for reading.
To me she looks like she was stunning in her younger days. sm
Her bone structure, her hair, her eyes. You can see remnants of what used to be.
Kinda sad.
Where did you find a younger picture? nm
X
the younger generation will be the heros
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBUKRAE2O9c
Maybe you will be wise elder, but you won't be the hero, the kids will be.
I am so glad my younger man decided
to hook up with this lady. It has been more than what I could have ever expected. He was the first guy I ever dated younger, married and never realized such a man existed. Totally in love with him 10 years later.
I wonder about older men, younger women
Look at these celebrity marriages. The men keep getting divorced and marrying young women until the men themselves get too old that they wouldn't be able to get a younger woman anymore. Most of the marriages described in this post are 2nd or 3rd marriages for these men. The women are saying they are lasting a long time but you are actually the trophy wife. If your old man husband divorced you now, he wouldn't be able to get a young woman anymore and he would be alone with no one to take care of him.
My former supervisor married a man 18 years older than she is. She took care of him during his long illness (about 10 years). When I saw her at the funeral, she took me aside and she whispered "I'm free". I knew she would be just fine!
I said already that I was much prettier and younger than my husband..nm
nm
It's trendy right now - younger men have been told (by each other) (sm)
That once women get older they are much less inhibited - which in a way is true - but for me that would be less inhibited with someone I care about and who is similar to me in age or at least body type... I dated someone 10 years younger for a couple of years and it was great. Until he decided he hadn't dated enough and wanted to be single a while and just be friends. Then later when I was dating someone else he actually asked me to see him behind the other guy's back! Because he thought it would be hot! He said he couldn't give me all of the attention I would need if it was a "real" relationship, but if I was getting part of the attention from someone else, he thought he could handle it - yuck!!!!
wow. several months for TAT...wish we had that!--nm
nm
Nine months later?
That's unreal. I would be interested to hear his explanation after your phone call. If you cancelled the appointment you should not have been billed, much less that amount. Good luck with that one! 
Definitely let him do it. It's only for a few months.
It must be awful to spend that much time driving every day, and gas is so expensive right now. Just let him do it. It's only until spring, and it will make things so much easier on him.
When my son was 9 MONTHS old SM
we lived in South Carolina, and his daycare center asked me to sign a form giving them permission to spank him if he misbehaved. He was a BABY and they wanted to spank him! Holy Cow! I refused to sign it and took my son out of their daycare, but it was legal there (this was 14 years ago...not sure what the law is now). But I was shocked.
I'm not anti-spanking...I just think only a parent should be able to spank their child. Definitely not someone who doesn't love your child and who may be too heavy handed.
Chickadee
They are now - it took several months for them to
get like this. Whenever one is curled up sleeping, the other will slink over and rest their head on the other one. :)
my son will be 11 in a few months
and never had anything like this. He's very forgetful and seems to lack common sense the last year or so. He also likes to turn his back and put his head down when he doesn't like something but hsn't cried in a long time unless he's hurt.
It sounds to me like maybe other kids (or someone) is telling your son he is fat or maybe making fun of him with clothes and that's why he suddenly changes his mind about what's cool and what's not.
I know my son is really starting to look at the high school aged kids for direction on what to wear, haircuts, etc. The long hair, no shower, messy look. We have had a talk that we understand he is growing up and with that comes priviledges but also he can only "grow up" so fast and he's not 15 or 16 and will not be treated as such until then. We have also told him at his age it is our job as parent's to make sure he is clean, fed, gets good sleep and grades, has clothes, and a roof over his head...and with that means we will make sure he takes a shower and makes himself look presentable. Long hair is fine, messy-look is fine...but rolling out of bed and tossing wrinkled clothes on is not - until he's 18 and then he can do what he wants.
Maybe you could sit down and have a talk with your son and ask him about why he's so emotional and changes his mind a lot. Could also call the school guidance counselor (even anonymously) and ask if it is normal behavior or might be signaling something more going on. They are really the experts on behavior at that age and for some reason many kids will talk to them when they won't talk to their own parents.
I have been seeing one the last few months.
I was a skeptic for certain. My husband ended up in the hospital with back problems and all the doctors would do is prescribe him meds to alleviate the pain. He started going to a chiropractor looking for relieve. It took a while but they helped him tremendously. After that I decided to give it a shot. The past few months I have been going weekly because insurance would pay for a certain number of visits in a year. Now that the year is renewing I have told my chiro that I am cutting back to once a month, or as I feel I need it. I will continue to go just not regularly at 1-2 times a week. She saw nothing wrong with that.Like you I can definitely tell a difference with less stiffness, better range of motion, better sleep, etc.
Men do tend to die younger, so it makes sense
to find a younger one. Mine is 4 years older, and he is aging faster because he hasn't taken care of himself. High school and college sports can take a heavy toll on a man.
Mine is four yrs younger, but no way would date some young
xx
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