My sisters and nieces and nephews and I stopped
Posted By: wannie on 2008-11-28
In Reply to: I think I am anti-gift giving this year - lac
exchanging gifts several years ago. My mom and dad and my family stopped exchanging gifts a couple of years ago. This year, my 2 grown children and my husband and I agreed to keep Christmas very, very simple. One gift each. No big major spending. We have a new grandson who is a week old and, of course, he will receive gifts from us, but, even for him the spending will be kept to a minimum this year 'cause he won't know the difference. Maybe you need to just tell your family that you've decided to cut back this year. They may not understand, but you should not have to stress about such a beautiful time of the year. I know that I am actually looking forward to the holidays for the first time in a long time because I'm not so concerned about how I'm going to be able to buy gifts for everybody. We are by no means rich people, but we do have what we need and a lot of what we want. There is really nothing that any of us needs. We are truly blessed. 
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
I got toys for the nieces and nephews. Did pretty
good. Got Battleship w/a handheld electronic Battleship package for 8 bucks, a 20 pack of Hot Wheels race cars for 9 bucks, Barbie stable and horse for 23 bucks (two items), 4-Ever Best Friends for 11 bucks, My Little Pony Styling Pony for 9 bucks, and Pirates of the Caribbean PSP game for 39 bucks. I also bought 3 beautiful Christmas sweaters for 12 bucks each. I think I did pretty good.
How often do you see your niece/nephews
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law moved back to this state recently after being gone for many years. They have 2 teenagers. All 4 are living with grandparents right now, most probably indefinitely but that's a whole other story. My question is how often do your niece/nephews spend the night at your house? Mine are also out of state so it is hard to say what it would be from that side. I just feel like after having little family here for so many years I am now on family overload. These kids want to stay and be with us all the time. Granted, I understand they have no friends bc they aren't in school yet and they like us more than gma/gpa and their own parents but I rarely say no bc I don't want to be the bad guy but I like my piece and quiet! and of course I like less mess to clean up. not to mention teenagers are expensive. So what's the average out there? Once, twice a month?
Endorsed by my teenage nephews
These 2 could not be more "male" and they have really gotten into the Twilight series. One started reading it because his mom had it laying around. She will read anything. Anyway, now they are hooked and asking for the series for Christmas. Could always get them and give a gift receipt in case he doesn't like it.
my nieces fly alone
They come from Phoenix to Wisconsin to visit each at the holidays 'cuz they are off of school and their dad is not off of work. Mom, very sadly, passed away a few years back. The kids reached an age where they hated the daything but were not old enough to be left alone. So they come visit us for a couple of weeks. They fly alone. They get an ID tag from the airlines when the check in. Then the flight attendant takes them personally. My brother-in-law has to tell them exactly who will be picking the kids up, and when we do pick them up, the flight attendants escort them off the plane. We have to show our ID and it has to match exactly what my brother-in-law said. The airlines are usually really good about kids flying unaccompanied.
Same problem here with nieces and
nephews, years of sending birthday and Christmas gifts and buying things for school events (they are out of state) and never a thank you. So, guess what? I stopped sending.
I raised mine and 3 nieces as one family sm
I did it alone with child support help and being an MT. You can only imagine the hours it took to support 7 kids!!!!
Anyway, we never had money for fun stuff and if we had all the necessities it was a very good month. I finally told them: Look, I make $20-25 when I am working. Working means my hands are on the keyboard. I don't get paid to pick up your junk, clean the kitchen or scrub the toilet. Every time I have to take time away from the desk to do these things FOR YOU, it is costing YOU $20-25 for things you need/want. The more hours I can work, the more we have in the bank.
I can't tell you why they listened, but they did. They got to where they would name a "price" for a bigger job like cleaning the family room alone, doing all 3 bathrooms for me or cleaning the kitchen and then doing the floor in the kitchen and diningroom (it was huge). The "price" might be a movie ticket, a whole weekend with a friend, nail polish, large candy bars, a much-desired item of clothing. Small jobs could be added up and presented to me as a list and negiotations began. They worked, I "paid" and the house was no longer a mess. I also made more money under less stressful conditions.
My own kids, now grown, have all come to me and thanked me for the way I raised them. I used to say, I know you don't like this, but by the time you are 21, you'll thank me. They were all 19 when the said they feel that they were raised better than all their friends and thank you for being a great mom. They marvel at the spotless house I now keep alone and that I am always to calm like I have no stress. I remind them, I only have to take care of myself these days and you all were a LOT of work.
Sisters
I'm from a family of 5, 3 girls and 2 boys. My younger sister at the age of 42 died a year ago suddenly from a heart attack. It was a total shock  . Some times I feel guilty because I am still alive, but I've been trying to make each day more special than before she died. I don't understand why she died, as she was the most active and healthy out of the family. She lived a crazy life and for some strange reason I admired her for that. There are still days when I wake up hoping that it was just a dream. I keep in touch with both brothers because they live close. My older sister lives in another state, so we don't talk or see each other very often. Sure stuff happens in families and people fight. I have learned that most of the time the fights are about petty and superficial things, like money and who gets what. It's just not worth it.....because when you think about it....in the end money can't comfort you or talk to you like a sister could. My mother also died a couple of years before my sister, and I just miss them more than I could explain in words. I'm stuck in a house with all guys, husband and two teenage boys. It would have been nice to have had a daughter to do things with.....but it's not gonna happen at my age.
To make a long story short......there is no other love more special than between sisters  and I would give anything to have her back. Before she died, she told me she was moving back to be near family again. That night when she called I was too busy typing to talk...boy do I wish I could do that over again!!!! We live and learn, but it was a lot more fun when she was still here.
My 2 sisters.
Would love to have more friends. It seems that everyone is too busy.
OMG! We might be sisters-in-law!
LOL!! No kidding - your in-laws sound like mine. My husband had a very cold, formal upbringing. When he was 17 he found all his baby pictures in the barrel by the curb waiting for the trashmen!
I don't understand people like that, but that makes it even more crucial that you show your boys true love and affection - even your husband is probably learning a lot by watching a real loving mother in action.
You go girl!!
Including sisters
What is another role 2 sisters could play in a wedding besides bridesmaid? I was thinking about having them both stand at the guest register. It is a small, simple wedding and there are not a lot of "parts" for them to have. Only having one matron of honor. She is the groom's sister and introduced us. I think my sisters will be a little miffed for not also being bridesmaids but I only one since I'm keeping it small (as well as other reasons). Also, what is something else a 4-year-old boy could do other than being the ring bearer? Thanks so much for the tips. You guys are the best. Thanks for letting me pick your brains.
Sisters . . can't pick em
As the oldest of 10, 2 brothers, one passed on quite young, and 6 sisters, it's bittersweet. Sometimes I think I am the odd one as I don't think like my sisters, and therein lies the problem. Our parents died young. Three of us married sisters took in two younger ones each, and did a relatively good job, not great, but they were loved, cared for, included in everything, and I truly enjoyed and relished their company. Now we are all adult women, and I hardly see them because they are too weird. I have always praised them, and have always been proud of them. They all educated themselves, have masters and bachelor degrees in the medical field. What they have in education they lack in common sense or the ability to gain insight. It amazes me and floors me that they hate my mother's family. My sisters target them for neglect and abandonment, when in reality we had lousy, abusive parents who did not take care of themselves, which is in part why they died so young. My sisters focus their hurt on our mother's family. My sisters are narcissistic, antisocial, and completely paranoid of me because I do get along with my mother's family. My sisters do not include me in any of the holiday functions. Oh well, I say, I am the lucky one because I can be objective, look at painful situations, hold no one accountable for my lot in life, gain insight and grow from my past, and love being around people and socializing. What hurts me is that I have finally figured out why they are so distant with me - pretty much without saying it clearly, this summer, the sister I was the closed to, had a talk with me and pretty much feels that it would have been better if they had been adopted out!! Unbelievable. That is so easy to say because it did not happen that way. Now, I think the only sad part is that they all have such beautiful children, and what a loss that they do not allow me to have a relationship with them. I would love to have a relationship with my nieces and nephews, take them out, have them over for sleep overs, and cookie baking. Life is so funny sometimes. In spite of it all, I think that I am the one truly blessed and pretty lucky.
he was 19 or 20 and sisters were 12 or 13, and 8 or 9, very young.
nm
What would your teacher sisters say to your views?
kli
Cat sisters: Fluffy and McKenzie...
Griffin.
No sisters, 1 brother deceased, just me
NM
My mother and her sisters all had copies
of my grandparent's along with the doctor's office and there was a copy in their hospital charts.
Were the sisters children when this happened??!! sm
If so, then yes, I would leave him immediately. I was thinking of them all as young adults.
shame on your 2 sisters! Did they talk
your mother into disinherit you or leave you out of her will? If there is nothing in written by your mother against you, you are still a legal heir and can still go to court!
Believe me, God will get them! Shame, shame!
Seems awful strange your sisters coming out - sm
out with this 17 years later--- do they have a motive? Do they want your marriage to break up for some reason? Would they band together and lie to make you miserable? Any bad blood? I find it hard to believe a 20-y/o guy would try to seduce and 12 and 8-y/o-- unless he is a pedophile--I know guys can get freaked when a baby is born, no sex for six weeks and all that, but still find this hard to swallow. In any case your trust is broken, you need to go to counseling. I would not trash my marriage over it though especially if you both still love each other and it is a he said/she said thing. It is hard to believe someone would make up such a story, but then again why did they wait 17 years to come to you with this info, that makes your wonder too, what do they hope to acheive by making you miserable and possibly a divorced single mother? You are in a lose-lose situation no matter what you do. If you stay in your marriage your sisters will never forgive you--- how have they been acting with him for the last 17 years, seemingly okay, or aloof, etc? Look at everyone's interactions over the years, it may give you some insight. In any case, counseling is a must, if he won't go, go without him, but if he wants to help restore your trust in him, he will attend. Good luck.
Friday Night Lights and Brothers and Sisters, love them!NM
nm
Thread stopped. (SM)
We're not going to fight over religion or Christmas or Santa or Christ on this board.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Goldbird
I also stopped some luxuries....sm
I used to like to get my nails done...cut that out. Would occasionally have someone help clean the house. Can't do that any more. If I take the kids to do anything for entertainment I look for coupons. I used to go clothes shopping fairly often but don't do that anymore either.
Neither do I, but it hasn't stopped me ;)
x
It stopped when parents decided to....
be friends with Susie and Tommy rather than parents. They want their kids to like them, don't want to hurt the poor little ones feelings or harm their self-esteem. Instead of rules they compromise, instead of depriving them of certain things these parents lavish them with every material thing they can for fear of being called a bad mom or dad. It's easier to buy the kid stuff and let them do what they want rather than buck up and be a parent. You all know who you are out there. I have to laugh when I see the 12-year-old who is dressed like a 22-year-old who is at the mall with her 35-year-old mother who is dressed like a 12-year-old. I also think the role models in the home have a lot to do with it too. Mom and dad probably don't respect each other, argue, use foul language, what is a kid to do but think that's the way relationships work. Many parents today are raising the furture princess whiny-give me-buy me and prince disrepectful-treat women like crap-selfish adults of tomorrow. We are doomed!
Stopped immediately when put in hospital
unable to catch my breath, almost white-out of my lungs. Put on Theophylline, steroids, face looked like the man in the moon but the theophylline the worst. I was eating cigs before then. After 2 weeks in the hospital and being on that particular medicine, never wanted to smoke again and didn't - that was in 1998, Thanksgiving Day to be exact, so sick I didn't want the turkey and dressing.
I should have stopped reading after the first paragraph.
Is this funny? Maybe I've had an easier time of being a woman. I can even pee in the woods without soaking my socks!
i stopped night driving when I was 48....
I live in a huge metropolis where everyone on the road is nasty.....gave up night driving at 48 due to problems seeing with the red, green, orange-yellow traffic lights PLUS headlights and rear lights.
I also have just given up driving all together...people are too nasty on the road.......I never did like driving, let my permit expire when I was 16 - never had a huge interest in driving.....just me is all.......
My children drive and all my friends drive so there's no problem whatsoever *lol*
Well, he finally stopped when he became hungry enough. sm
But I read all of your responses and I thank you. Of course, now he's coming up to me all kinds of sweet and asking me for bananas, cookies, Goldfish crackers (his favorite).
Hey, at least he isn't eating pancakes...
One day our pastor stopped by for a visit
and my son, who was 5 then, was talking to him. The pastor asked my son what time his bedtime was and he replied, "it's s'posed to be 9 o'clock, but mommy says we piss 'round till 10." I almost died of embarrassment. Unfortunately, pissin' is a word I use quite often and never realized how much kids picked up on it. Thankfully, the pastor laughed and said he understood completely as he grew up on a farm and there was a lot of that going on there.
sounds like me! I recently stopped to gas up my car sm
and put the gas thingie in my gas tank and squeezed the handle, but no gas would come out...hmmm...I decided the reason for this was that this gas pump was broken and so got in my car and drove around to the other side. Again, put in the nozzle and squeezed the handle and....no gas! What the heck? I honestly stood there for 2 minutes trying to figure out the situation before I realized I had to push the button on the gas pump to select the grade of fuel...DUHHHH! I've only been driving for 30 years... Tee-hee!
Since your hair isn't really long, 60 is ridiculous. I stopped sm
paying my hairdresser because I didn't like paying 45 and my hair is pretty long and I like to keep it layered and styled and colored right, too. There are way too many good stylists out there who charge way less, even in the big cities, and I wouldn't waste my time there. Move on. They are ripping people off.
I'm all about stylists and people in the service industry making a living, but 50.00 for the half would even be better than that.
I haven't heard anymore about this-maybe they were stopped
They came here to PA to protest a soldier's funeral this winter. The only thing they hadn't planned on was the fact that the town where the funeral was held was so small, there was one main street in and out...and that was blocked by the Harley riders and others, so they didn't get in.
I stopped watching a couple of years ago....
whatever did happen to Carter? I loved when he was on there. How in the heck did Luka and Abby get together again??? I know he was with that nurse and her son and that's it. I did see one commercial where Abby was pregnant? I'm sure I'm way out of the loop now. It just ain't like it used to be.
that's why i stopped sending Christmas cards
I never got any in return. That's not why I was sending them out, but why waste all that time and energy if nobody cares about it?
My son's insurance stopped paying for Zyrtec
changed recently. I guess it's nice for people that don't have insurance but when a med goes OTC you can't exactly use it as a medical expense on your taxes anymore
Hubs had same reaction with another Abx for same thing a few months ago. Stopped after
s
But stopped watching about 2 seasons ago -think Chase lost it.
nm
Stopped at the Italian market for hot capicolla and provolone..
I also picked up some bread, olives and roasted peppers. So we're having sandwiches. I'll probably make some broccoli rabe and throw some soup on, too.
We call it "dinner" in this part of the country. I'm fascinated by regional language differences.
(From the land where water is wooder.)
Can't be that. I stopped reading your posts to her awhile back.
She laughed a lot, but it was making her vomit so I had to stop.
Thanks for yet another one of your brilliant brain dumps. They're much better for the tulips than the horse manure we were buying.
This worked for me, but I needed such a high dose to feel it, so I stopped. Doing much
s
Ok, I just asked my husband, and he doesn't do it anymore because it stopped working
He said that he kept e-mailing them to get a new scanner, but they never sent him one, and their customer support is horrible. He said that he finally stopped doing it a few months ago because he gave up on them.
they stopped making Chocolate Cherry Diet Dr. Pepper
I feel your pain!!!!
The pc screen. I scanned again and it stopped. I dont think I scanned the alignment sheet properly
the first time.
|
