My sister lost her daughter to SIDS 7 years ago. (sm)
Posted By: sm on 2007-02-02
In Reply to: Need help on what to write on sympathy card for baby SM - Susan
Of course the calls, cards, and visits were comforting to her but the biggest help was another couple from a surrounding town who had gone through the same thing came into their lives and were a tremendous help. They were strangers to her, but they were able to comfort her and help her through some of the grief process like none of us were able to.
In years later, my sister and her husband had likewise reached out to families that have had a loss to SIDS. Hopefully someone from that organization will reach out to her.
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(my daughter's) Lost coat update for those interested - sm
Believe it or not after 3 weeks it has surfaced! One of the 3 girls I had not been able to locate a phone number on told my daughter today at lunch that she had it. She had not been in dance last week (and they did not have dance the week before). It was in her dance bag. She had picked up the scarf and coat (supposedly) because she saw Jess had left them, and then had forgotten about it which I find a little hard to swallow as she sees my daughter every day in school (in the same class/home room all day together). But regardless of all that, she came forward today about it. So I don't know why it took so long, but I am glad my daughter got them both back. So if he taking it was not so innocent I hope she learned something, and my daughter has learned to be a bit more careful with her things. 
My sister and daughter have an Altima - want something different than theres -
I have a convertible now and the insurance is not that bad (of course, I am almost 40). I just love riding with the top down in the spring and fall...
Also, the 2008 Sebring convertible is so nice and has so many extra options that you would not think of in that price range.
I can get a 2008 with only 14,000 miles for about $14000. I have a 1999 model now and it has 184,000 miles on it and still going strong - just want to update it.
But then again, since he is paying, maybe I should at least look at the Hondas...
Thanks ya'll!!!
You lost him years ago - help where you can when you wish
to but don't make them your project - it will drain the life from you. This is the life he evidently wants so life yours and wish him happiness. You need to let go - it is difficult I know - but you can do it.
But if she collects for 20+ years -- could lost a lot
If she lives to age 80 she would lose over $30K doing it that way and what is two more years of working anyway. Like the poster below, I am working for 8 more years collecting my full amount have IC's do more of my work and I will do what I need to make a decent living and have fun.
Collecting 22 years at 790 = 208,560
Collecting 20 years at 1000 = 240,00 plus more if she waits to 65/66.
It will take 7 years to recoup the 19K that she received for the 2 years. To each their own but you have to look at all sides.
Patti
I lost a 12-day old grandson to this 3 years ago...
my daughter did not know she was infected, had no lesions, had a vaginal delivery and the baby became infected. A truly heart wrenching, horrible end for this sweet baby boy. He was fine for the first 8 days of life and then became suddenly ill. My daughter had to make the decision to end his life (she was only 22 at the time). I happened to be on a trip at the time going to the memorial service for my father who died from lung cancer. The worst month of my life. Thanks for sharing the story.
I lost 77 pounds on WW a couple of years go. I agree with
meeting and learn from others new recipes or great low cal/low fat things at the store. On-line or at meetings you cant go wrong with WW IMO.
Have had no contact with sister for 5 years
5 years free of hysterical calls at all hours that go on for hours, crazy accusations, death threats, trying to turn other relatives against me, her demanding praise for the tiniest things and putting me down every chance she gets, cops at my door if she gets a scratch on her car because "I must have done it because I'm stalking her".
Nope, don't miss her at all.
Sister was into this years ago and my brother says (sm)
That one night when he had slept over, was on the couch, board was on top of the fridge and he heard the middle peice start banging around in the box like crazy. He would never be one to believe anything like this or to make it up. Next day my mom and sister burned it.
Lost my mom 23 years ago and dad 18 years ago.
My son was not even 1 when my mom died....she was only 50. My dad died at age 59. So even though I feel your pain....I would have been very grateful to have them into their 80's. I guess we take what we get and be thankful. Sometimes it is hard though.
I haven't talked to my one sister in 20 years....
and don't ever plan on it. I wrote her off and will never go back. She does not exist to me. Sad isn't it.
Several years ago my sister-in-law was a teacher's aide in
a kindergarten class. Her father passed away and she was out for several days. When she returned the teacher of the class told a little boy why she had been out because he asked. The teacher explained that she had lost her dad and told the little boy to tell my sister-in-law he was sorry. He looked up at my sister-in-law and said Why? I didn't kill him!" 
My sister lived in Spain for years.
She said they washed all the time. However, deodorants, powders, hygiene products were very expensive so they don't spend the money on them. You blend that with the heat and no air conditioning and you have yourself a stinky culture.
I'm sorry. It's rough losing a pet. I lost my dog, Tate a couple years back. SM
He was a sheltie and he used to lay under my desk when I worked and I would rub him with my foot and he was a great foot warmer in the winter! I used to say, he wasn't my dog, I was his person. He got sick and then his liver failed and I had to have him put to sleep because he was suffering. I cried for weeks! I still haven't gotten another dog. My kids have been begging me and they've almost wore me down, but for a long time after Taters died, I just couldn't bring myself to even think about another dog. I compromised and got the kitty last summer. I've never had a cat before, so I didn't know if I'd like a cat or not. I've always been a dog lover, but I've been quite taken with my little cat. He's ornery little guy and I love to play cat and mouse with him.
Listen to me just gush! Sorry about that.
i made a memorial site for my mom for my sister and my grandmother a few years ago. sm
neither were cremated, but mom wanted a memorial. we took a spot in her back yard and made a rose garden out of it. we planted several rose bushes. i got some of those make your own stones from hobby lobby. it is like cement that you pour into the mold. i then wrote in the cement before it dried their names at the bottom and in loving memory of at the top. decorated the stones up with some heart gems. these are in the middle of the rose flower bed. we also got her a covered canopy bench to sit next to it. everyone in the family loves to go there. just FYI there is a rose that is a red and white mixture rose that is called the love rose and this is the very center of our "memorial". i can't recall the name and it was very hard to locate. this was several years ago and the roses are growing pretty than ever.
Your daughter was me 4 years ago...
I am only 20 years ago and your daughter sounds exactly like me 4 years ago...
I agree with the above-mentioned posters that you need to get dad involved. I too knew that I could manipulate my mom but was very afraid of what my father would do. It's normal for her to say she is going to leave but she won't. She's just saying that to manipulate you.
AS FOR THE DRINKING: Do not allow this to be acceptable behavior. I drank as a 16-year-old and my parents tried to ground me, keep me home, etc. and I still went out and did it... guess what, I got a DUI because kids do not use smart judgement when drunk. I guarantee there is no "safe ride" because she is with other kids who are drinking, and she will never call you for a ride. My parents were very against teenage drinking and I got into big trouble, I can't imagine what your daughter will do if you let her think that is acceptable. JMO
The best thing that happened to me was the DUI because I stayed home for 3 months (had no license) and I learned that I did not have to go out every night, that I really wasn't missing anything. After that, I didn't want to go out except to see a movie or go get dinner. Maybe the best thing to do is have her stay home for month, only let her go out during day or for a short amount of time and then after that month allow her to go out once a week until she comes home drunk, past curfew or you found out that she was somewhere she was not suppose to be and then have her stay home for two months, then let her go out again until she abuses it, etc. Eventually, she will either get into trouble and she'll learn that way or she'll learn that she does not need to be out all the time.
Oh, as for her swearing she isn't sexually active, she probably is. My friend in high school was valedictorian, honor student, everyone thought she was so perfect and even she had sex in high school. My sister is younger than I am, her friends are your daughter's age, and they were almost all sexually active by 15, sad huh :(
Good luck to you. I promise it will get better. My father and I had the worst relationship when I was 16 and now we get along great… there is hope for you and your daughter!
My daughter was 2 to 3 years old, and did not need braces, sm
We took a trip and told her it accidentally got left on the plane. She fussed a bit, but was okay after that. Also, as she grew up and did not need braces. Niece that sucked her fingers (no pacifier) needed braces because of the misalignment it caused to her teeth.
My daughter had done years earlier and
I noticed the other day she looks as though some have started to not be as aligned as they once were. I am hoping she will get a clear one to help realign hers.
My daughter in early school years
wore a size 10 and now grown wears a 12. She is in her 30s and years ago nearly impossible to find shoes that were not old lady types to fit her, at least now you have all kinds to choose from.
Allow me to celebrate with you. I conceived my daughter 9 years ago today too!
When is your son's birthday? Just curious if it's the same day as my daughter's.
My daughter is 35 years old and has been having pain in left lower abdomen for quite some time . . .
She had a CT with oral and IV contrast and it was normal, but showed she had an enlarged uterus. Dr. called the next day and said she needs to go for ultrasound.
There is lots of cancer in the family, so my daughter is very concerned. Can any of you who have experienced this help out here. Thanks.
Okay, my sister and I are doing Thanksgiving this year and since my sister can't cook, that means
I'm doing the cooking. My sister gets equal billing cause we're doing it at her house. :) Soooo, I'm looking for some vegetable ideas. I am about sick of green bean casserole! Does anyone have any really tasty recipes for vegetables side? Any kind of vegetables. I'm looking for something different and fabulous.
I had a corn casserole at one potluck I went to, but never got the recipe. Anybody got a good corn recipe?
Thanks Ladies!
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
My husband is 7.5 years younger. Been together almost 20 happy years...nm
nm
My feelings; people shacking up together for years and years
and then all of a sudden deciding to get married don't need a thing, obviously. A shower should not even be given. I lived with my now husband a while (nowadays who doesn't!) before we married and I also had been married before years ago but he was not....so of course HIS mom wanted a shower. I told her absolutely not unless it was just the immediate family, his mom, sisters, etc, more like a celebration/get together. And so that's what we did. Showers are tacky, period. Unless it's a couple of young kids getting married straight out of the house and that doesn't happen much anymore.
If I lost say 60-80 lbs
I would be so full of attitude even my hubby probably not able to get to first base with me! Nah, just kidding. I also need to lose that much, just gonna have to do it it seems.
lost
Note - next week is 2 hours. Starting at 9.
Yes - they said the woman who parachuted was with an expedition that Penny sent.
Locke really appears to be dead.
lost - and am I!
I don't really know how I feel about the fast forward - but of course there is something wrong there because he said "call my father" and we know his father was dead before he hit the island. Why didn't Charlie hold his breath and swim up through the port hole? Whose funeral did no one want to attend?
we lost one of THE BEST!!! nm
x
LOST! (nm)
.
lost ours . . .
Four years ago both of them at the same time. We still have their son . . it was just heart retching. My husband and I actually cried harder than the kids . . . isn't that crazy???? We were devastated.
I did WW for about 2.5 yrs and lost 72 lbs! sm
It works but you need to stick with it. Don't get discouraged on the weeks you do not lose weight; it is also not "a diet" but a lifestyle change. Do try to find some fruit/veg that you enjoy; the fiber definitely helps you feel full and lose. Low sodium V8 is a good 1 pt or 0 pt option to get in 1-2 servings of veg daily. Eat a piece of fruit for your snack. I found that I really began enjoying fruit-veg after a while. Get active, drink water and give it a chance - WW does work well and nothing is off limits.
Gee, I think I should rejoin! Good luck.
I had lost about 30%. in my IRA. My
broker put my money into some type of annuity where I am guaranteed not to LOSE any more money for the next year. If on my anniversary date I am below my original balance, I retain that balance. If I have acutally made a little, I do get that and then am guaranteed that amount until my next anniversary date where the same scenario occurs. It is in lower-making funds, but at least I can't lose any more.
Been with a man 13 years older, now with a man 4 years younger.
Younger is better, at least in my case ;)
Sorry, meant 75 cents. Still, that was years and years ago.
xx
I studied to be a scopist years and years ago
Back in the early 1990s I took a course called Note reader Scopist. They read court reporter notes (those long skinny papers that looks like a cash receipt) and types them into documents. I had found the course through something called At Home Professions but just didn't finish it because it was too expensive for me. But I am familiar with them and even found my book from the first course I took. Looking back I think it would have been a blast if I had kept up with it.
It is definitely legitimate. A lot has changed since the early 90s, so I'm not too familiar with the industry now. I do remember what was really weird was it didn't take a lot for me to learn it. For instance I could look at a line of court notes and see something that looked like: NV p srn - and I seemed to know exactly what it said. Just weird. My DH used to say that I understood it because I was an alien and my ship crashed in Roswell. HA HA HA Anyway...that's what I know about it. But if you Google note reader scopist or at home professions i'm sure you could probably find a lot of info.
I have been vegetarian on/off for 35 years, was vegan for about 5 years sm
not that hard. Right now, I am having so many issues with food allergies and celiac disease, having to give up nightshade veggies...nothing left to eat. I am eating some meat now, but not when the gastroparesis sets in!
Being vegan is not hard...unless you are a celiac. This is how I figured out the celiac part because so many of the meat analogs and vegan packaged foods use gluten for the protein and I got really sick from it. I gave up all the premade things and the whole grains with gluten and I was fine.
There is vegan and then there is VE-GAN. By definition, vegans don't wear, use or consume anything that is derived of animals...no leather shoes, most shampoos and toothpastes are off the list, as are deodorants. No wool or silk. Anything with soap usually has animal byproducts. It is very involved and rather difficult to do.
Giving up meat, eggs and dairy is no big deal, except for cheese. You hear that ad about "comfort proteins" in a baby formula and there is such a thing. Mother's milk, be it human, cow, goat, whatever...contains a chemical that triggers the release of endorphins in the brain so that feeding feels good in more ways than one. The purpose of this is ensure that the nursed young want to nurse and thrive. Human milk has a lot of these, so does cow's milk and cow juice triggers the same reaction in the adult human brain. Cheese is concentrated milk and therefore these chemicals are also concentrated. As a result, cheese is an addictive substance. This is the hardest thing to give up when going vegan. Vegan cheese substitutes are nasty and they don't melt. If a dairy-free cheese melts, it contains casein, an animal protein and not vegan.
Lost coat
If it were me, I would be angry as heck at my 8 yo for not being responsible for her things. Forgot that someone might have taken it, the child was irresponisble. At 8, she should know better than to leave her things behind. Too bad, so sad, no coat, maybe she'll remember her things next time when she has no coat because she's cold. Learning life lessons are tough and 8 is really old enough to take responsibility.
Just another perspective.
lost coat
Maybe she actually left it at school or someplace other than dance, but is certain in her mind that she last had it at dance. You could be looking in the wrong place. I don't ever trust my memory on things like this because when life is really hectic (whose life with kids is not hectic?), sometimes events run together in my mind. Maybe her coat is at school in the lost and found or in the back of the van under a seat, etc. Just a thought. 
Lost Coat
You bet!! Unless shehad the money to purchase another one. She left it, so it got stolen. If it was grabbed off her back and stolen, that would be another story.
Kids can be kids, but they have to learn responsibility some time. It's the parents that don't teach it that are having issues with their kids. Mine learned early and often that their actions have repercussions, good and bad ones. And they learn from them.
For example, 15 yo daughter is a competitive dancer. When she was probably 10 or so, she goes to a competition and forgets to pack a tutu that she needs for one of her numbers. Do I got back and get it? Nope. Her responsibility and she had to expain to the others in her group that it was at home. Did she ever forget her tutu again? Nope. It usually only takes one time.
We need to be parents, not friends and teach them to live and survive in the world. It is never too young to learn. My 4 yo knows that if she walks out the door without her lunchbox for school that she doesn't have lunch. How many times did this happen? Exactly once. Kids are smarter than you think they are.
She was either drunk or lost a bet - sm
what a total freak, what woman would shave her head unless she absolutely had too (like a bad attack of lice, which I highly doubt was her problem). It will take quite a few years to grow back long again, oh well, guess that is her problem (s).
I lost 123 pounds (sm)
I am down to 112 pounds. All my skin, including my face skin, bounced back really well. I do have a little loose skin on my thighs but not so much that I can't wear shorts. My belly looks like I've been pregnant with big kids, and with my largest being 10 pounds, I earned my loose belly skin.
It might have made a difference that I did it "au naturale" without the surgery, so I am still absorbing my nutrients properly.
I know your pain..I lost my 16 y/o
xx
I am so sorry to hear you lost your
precious kitty. That's a long time to form an attachment. I feel bad for your daughter. I'm sure it was a shock for her - you're never ready for that. You are going to cry for a few days and then one day you the good memories will start and you'll realize you always have those - lots of those in 16 years.
You might make a collage of pictures for your office wall.
LOST fan here, see inside.
If they were not dead before, they probably will be now, unless they find some way of digging out. Orrr, maybe the conversation the guy had with John, where things don't stay buried if they're too close to shore, hmm. However, what was the point of this episode? It centered around 2 people that we really haven't seen before, then they seemingly get killed off in the same episode. The only thing related to the series was when Raphael (I think his name was), was hiding in the bathroom when Ben and Juliette were in the Pearl bunker watching Jack on the monitor and making some plans about him. Other than that, I totally did not get the purpose of the episode.
Funny...but I'm not lost...
I'm just coming unscrewed in the process.
My ESL would say LOOOsing it or more like lucing it!
I just need a real vacation WITH PAY!
Did you see LOST yet? (Not too spoilerish)
All I can say is - WHOA!
Didn't quite see that ending coming.
Very, very weird and interesting episode.
never miss a LOST!
We are huge Lost fans at my house! We didn't think the show shed any new light on things though. Just old stuff we already knew. They said John Locke has been trying to sabotage their chance of being rescued from the beginning, but we didn't really see anything until midway through like when he blew up Mikhail's station and then the submarine. Did we miss something else? Anyway, Locke is being so selfish now. Even if everyone else got rescued he could stay on the island by himself, so why is he trying to prevent everyone else's rescue? And we still want to know why Libby was in the institution!
Lost Addict
I'm thinking "call my father" is either a drug haze that Jack was in, OR he came back to life on the island. He did see his father standing on the beach not long after the plane crashed in season #1. At the time, I thought it was a hallucination. Maybe not? It seems that the island has the power to bring people back to life at times. The one-eyed guy came back -- or was he not really dead?
Whose funeral was it? Hmmm. Ben's? It was someone that Kate and Jack knew. Sawyer's? Someone that we haven't met on the island yet? How 'bout Jacob?
Ooooo! It's such a long time to wait, and so many possible answers to too many questions!
I lost my Tasha last May
I lost Tasha last May, she made the decision I did not she was 16 1/2 years old. But I did take her body in to be creamated and am going to spread her ashes in the park where she loved to run and chase the squirrls when I can bear to do it. But my sister has had three dogs put down, the vet come to her house and she is on acerage but they bury them in their back field. In their other homes they also buried several pets. I worked for a vet and I know how some of them dispose of the animals and I would never do that and that is why I decided to have Tasha cremated. It cost me but was worth it. I was going to bury her out at my sisters but decided to keep her here where she loved living. But you can have her put to sleep and take the body home with you and they don't ask what you are going to do, at least here in Oregon. But be sure you dig a large enough hole and down rather deep so some other animal does not come and dig it up. Even in the city, raccoons will dig it up sometimes. Sorry, about Foxie. I kept Tasha comfortable on arthritis medication but the Glucosamine helped the most from Petco and kept her quite comfortable for the last year. Ultram kept her free of most of the pain during the last 6 weeks and I really don't think that she suffered. But she decided it was the end and just went to sleep and up to that day she was walking a mile a day or so with me around the moorage. She was eating well. It is hard and I have not yet decided to get another dog yet but may soon. Take care. Patti
Somehow I lost 10 pounds.
nm
I lost my mother sm
Two and a half years ago. She was 59. I still have my father and a wonderful step-mother but not a day goes by that I don't miss my mom. So many people helped my by telling me what a good daughter I was and that my mother passed away knowing how much I loved her. She and I talked every day and most days it was 2 or 3 times. I have a 16 and 14yr old and everytime something wonderful happens in their life I think "Oh how proud my mom would be". You are always going to get meaningless platitudes but just keep in mind that your parents did a wonderful job raising you and obviously knew how devoted you were to them. Hugs to you!
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