My oldest furgirl is dying and I am crying
Posted By: Grieving a lot on 2008-01-11
In Reply to:
I have just called the veterinarian's office to see if there was anything they could give me to ease her pain, should she be in any which I do not think is the case. I have had her since she was born at my home so it is almost unbearable today. The vet had told me about a week or so ago that her organs were probably failing due to some lab tests she had. I gave her some water with a syringe and even tried feeding her some this morning as I do not want her to be hungry nor thirsty. She is laying on a blanket and I have a cover on her. Besides my having her put down which is really hurting my heart- she has been with me all these years- is there anything I can give her so she is not having a painful death and I just don’t know about it. Thanks everyone.
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So sorry for you and your furgirl.
I have 4 cats and 1 turtle and have been in your shoes also. There comes a time when you make a decision of what to do and you do it. Know that you did the best you could by your furgirl and that she will be in a better place and in no pain. I will keep you both in my prayers.
To Furgirl's mom sm
Thank you for your email. I tried to email back but it bounced back to me. I'm so glad what I could offer helped. It has been 3 months for me and I still cry. I know she knows how much she was loved and will be waiting for you at the bridge as will my beautiful Mochi cat be waiting for me.
Actually, I have 3, and the oldest is
16 years old. It is a constant battle to help him realize that the world does not revolve around him, but I will continue to fight the battle, because he is worth it. It is MY job to teach him to not be selfish. Some kids are by nature more selfish, but basically ALL kids are selfish, and you have to steer them down a different road. You know what? I tell my son no a lot, and I don't fork over money right and left. He's temporarily miffed, but it has never caused him to mistreat me. He is constantly stopping me to hug me and tell me he loves me. Just out of the blue. I am important in his life.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh, and I wish you could have the same kind of love between you and your kids. Bottom line -- it doesn't sound like you have bonded with them and that YOU love THEM no matter what. They would sense that, and reciprocate. I understand being sick of bad behavior, but I don't think I could ever say, as a mom, now it's time for "me, me, me." It's never too late to repair these relationships. I think you should rethink things.
I was serious in my asking if they had a dad in their lives. Dads generally draw the line whereas moms are pushovers. That's not always the case, but two heads are better than one. It is so important to have someone back you up, or take over when you are just plain tired.
Yes, he's my oldest. So this is all new to me. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a very good
relationship with his father. There's a lack of respect there because his father never has held a job or took care of us. So, it's almost as if my son views is father as being on the same level as him - one the kids that mom has to take care of. So my son has always felt he could talk however he wanted to his dad and his father on the flip side has always acted like big kid with my son. I don't think having my son talk to his father would help very much.
I've met the kids my son has become friends with and I've met their parents. The parents all seem to have the same values as I do and the kids are pretty typical boys - no drugs or alcohol. They play football in our backyard after school.
I really do hope it's just a phase, but even if it is just a phase, I'm not sure I'll survive!
My oldest daughter (31 now) came home from...
kindergarten around Christmas time and said, "I'm gonna sing my favorite song we learned today", and proceeded to sing Fleas on the Dog (of course it was Feliz Navidad). Still makes me chuckle today.
My oldest daughter knew when she was 10
Kids talk at school and on the bus, and I'm sure that's how she found out about Santa and the Easter Bunny, etc. Of course now she's 14 and tells me how could someone believe in a huge bunny who comes to your house and leaves candy. LOL. I also have a 5 year old and the older one knows under no circumstances is she to tell her sister anything. She can find out on her own. I think you should just let him know that he shouldn't tell the younger ones just like you were planning.
My oldest daughter had nothing but "boy"
friends throughout high school. Really, guys are a lot nicer than boys most of hte time. She has a couple of good girl friends, but I actually liked the guys hanging around the house. Now that she is in college, all she brings home are her guy friends and they all hang out with her and her boyfriend.
I really would not worry if her friends are guys, at least she has friends she feels comfortable with having hang out at your house.
My oldest son gave me the idea about s/m
the generator. We rent a log splitter every fall and never even thought about it! How smart they can be.
We live on the county line, so we are always the last ones to get shoveled out as far as the roads go, but we seem to lose our electricity quite a bit, 3-4 times a year minimum.
Oh, I am right behind you! My oldest, my baby girl.......sm
just turned 20, she still lives at home and commutes to save money, but she is in college for teaching, I just cannot believe she is out of diapers, let alone out of high school and out of her teen years!! My son, Adam, is graduating this year, turning 18, and while he also will be going to a local college and commuting, and we are very close, along with his girlfriend, he is on his way, too!
That leaves Alex, who is 11, and although he is still a boy, I am already starting to project, because often he stays over a friend's for a sleepover, my son is out with his girl, and my daughter is out with friends or working, back to hubby and me........don't know where time went, but I have such a hard time getting out those baby pictures, seems like yesterday and I remember and want the time back. Doesn't work that way! And yes, all four of us (myself and my siblings) have been extremely close lifelong with my parents, just keep the love and communication open, have lots of get-togethers of you can. I am trying to look forward to being a grandma (although NOT TOO SOON!!). Much love to ya!
Yes, especially me (oldest) and my middle sister. (sm)
Main difference is she's taller. One time she was visiting me and we went out for lunch. A lady came up to us and asked, 'Are you identical twins or fraternal twins?' She sure was surprised to learn that we weren't twins at all, just regular, run-of-the-mill sisters!
Thanks to both of you, even though I'm crying again now.
;o}
Also CRYING MOM IT IS NOT RIGHT
LOL.
OMG, I am crying with you
This is just too fresh in my mind, having just lost my lab, Murphy less than 3 weeks ago. I know what you are feeling and what you are going through. I cried and cried over making the decision. The vet sent me a wonderful card stating that sometimes the kindest thing we do for our pets is to say good bye. Murphy just gave me a look when it was time. I can't explain it, but I know he was trying to tell me that the suffering was too much. I read somewhere the dogs are very stoic. They don't tend to show pain unless it is pretty severe, and his cries told me that it was pretty severe.
As far as the buriel, the vet's office asked right up front on the phone. I had the choice of cremation, a common buriel (here it is at a farm as we are a little on the rural side) or taking the body. Talked to my sons, and my oldest said he would bury him, that he wanted him at home. The vet wrapped him up very nicely for us, but did give us the option to do it ourselves. Bless my son. Murphy was a big dog, nearly 90 pounds, and my son had to work hard to dig his grave. I am planning on planting a small flower bed there as well, as it is in the back corner of my yard, which is pretty barren right now.
Anyhow, it should be your choice. Just tell them up front what you want when the time comes. I am so, so sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes for anything right now. Just keep telling little Fox how much you love him (though he knows that). Please keep us posted on how things go for him.
What if he's dying right now?
Something more TERRIBLE is happening tonight. That poor dog may be bleeding to death internally or already dead and because you're a coward to tell them or even make an anonymous phone call and you ASSUME the police wouldn't help. They absolutely WOUD go to the address and tell them if you made an anonymous call, if you don't have the nerve to face up to it. This is 2007. People have a clue about animals. Well, most of us do....
It does not matter people whose fault it was to that dog. It does not help him to exchange blame. If you have to play those human games, then do it later, after he's helped. If he doesn't have tire marks on him, how are the owners even supposed to know if he's hurt? It's not like they can talk, you know.
This make me sick. I work rescue. I see and hear worse every day, but it just eats at my soul to know somebody is sitting there "feeling horrible" and "doing nothing" to help God's creature.
dying
I think it is a normal phase kids go through. My 5-year-old started talking about death last year. When I watch medical shows on TV she is very interested (which is great), but it also scares her. She is afraid of heart disease now because of a show I was watching. I try to explain it to her also, but she is still stuck on the whole dying/death issue. I really don't know what to say, other than keep talking about it and hopefully he will become more comfortable with it.
Well, I'm crying too, again! Well, you say sm
"she did what was in her heart." But I think what happened here is she didn't do what was in her heart. She did the right thing by walking away and coming back home, but she said she feels as if her heart is still back home. That's what makes it so sad. It totally caught her off guard - she didn't expect to feel that way after 20 years.
I just have to stay away from my home town, I guess. LOL
what do you say to someone who is dying
A life long family friend has cancer and chose not to take treatment. She is in her upper 80s. She has other ailments and was once very active but now all she can do is stay in bed and hurt which is why she chose to let nature take its course. The doctors only gave her 3 weeks to live. She lives with her son, he never married and is in denial.
This woman lived next door to my grandparents and I used to love to go over there when I was little. She had a little dog that I could play with. She had a piano that she would let me play on. She had tons of jewelry and I loved to go over there and play dress up. She has been good to my mom. Mom lost her house and she gave mom a place to live which is a trailer house next door. To me that was a big thing as she always kept her stuff neat and nice and picture perfect and mom, Gosh I love her, is a slob.
I am thankful for this woman and she will hold a very special place in my heart but I really don't know what to say. I don't want to be unrealistic but I don't think that talking like she is dying would be right either. I don't know what to say if that topic gets brought up.
I am not quite there yet as my oldest is only 11 but our school has a rule that you have to be passi
x
Of course! Stealing? That's the oldest trick in the book. lol
I guess she figured what does she have to lose if she thought she was dying. :(
Whadda ya mean? Its the world's oldest profession
x
I love my boys! One time when my oldest
(fixing to turn 18 and will adamently deny this) was 4 years old, we were up at my parent's house. He was playing wheel of fortune on the computer. He came in and told me he was having trouble figuring out the puzzle. I told him he needed to buy a vowel. After a second, I asked him did he know what a vowel was. He grinned big and said "yes, it's this" and he proceeded to 'bow'!
I wish I just new someone who sewed :)) Seems like a dying art
and what a shame! I don't know how many times I have said in the last 20 years... 'if only I knew someone who could sew!' I can do buttons and great at hemming tape and have sewn in the past but way too frustrating for me!! Good for you!!
Okay, now what was up with the judge *crying*
I have never in my life seen or heard of a judge breaking down and crying like that. It just got more bizarre by the minute. I seriosly think he has some sort of mental disorder. WOW!
Can anyone watch this without crying?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=PYBz2gjEfA
I sure couldn't. It gets me so upset I actually felt ill, but at the same time I wish everyone thinking of getting a pet could watch it. Hope I posted the link correctly. It's on shelter animals. The title is "In Hope, An Animal Shelter Story."
Crying my eyes out, here!
I finally watched the slide show the whole way through and am bawling like a baby.  Geez! What a kid and what a family. They are all in my prayers.
I was crying my eyes out!
Isn't Meryl Streep just the bomb! What an awesome actress!!! She transforms herself into her characters unlike anyone I've ever seen, I just love watching her act.
Oh for crying in the corn
I've put in zillions of urinary catheters in males. I've cleaned behind foreskins. I've "dug" people out when they've had more problems than milk of magnesia can handle. (I'm a nurse turned transcriptionist.) That's totally more intimate than dancing with someone. I have never cheated on my husband even with those experiences. LOL
If these people cheat, it's not the dancing's problem, it's the person's problem.
I do not care for this show one bit, so I'm not defending it at all. I just think this argument is not terribly valid.
If you don't stop crying, I am just going to
x
crying (over you), Roy Orbison and
you've lost that loving feeling by the righteous brothers.
Crying all morning.....sm
I have been married 15 years....this morning my husband came in and said, "Eric said your storage building is ready!" You might think I would be happy. He thought I would be. The problem is that in 15 years of marriage I have been able to pick out nothing. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I would like an outside storage building. I mentioned a couple I had seen. My husband did not discuss it with me at all but went to the neighbor and had him build a storage building. I have no idea what it will look like, no idea what size, what color, anything. It wouldn't be such a big deal but I honestly don't get to pick anything out.
11 years ago I had just had a baby and my husband picked out our house while I was home recovering from a c-section. He told me this was where we were going to live. He had refused to even look at any of the houses I had liked during my pregnancy. He told me we would remodel this house any way I wanted, get any furniture I wanted. I was so anxious to get out of the rundown noisy apartment building we were in that I agreed to move here. Then of course, no remodeling, no new furniture.
Three years ago I really needed a new car. My husband said he would start looking for one. HE would start looking for one for me. A year later HE had still not found one. I found a used, reasonably priced car and told him I wanted to buy it. He said no. I told him I really needed a vehicle. It was less than $10,000. He finally agreed but was mad at me for a year over it and told his parents that I had gone out and bought myself "a new car". It was actually 4 years old. A year ago he bough a boat for $10,000 that I had never even seen and brought it home and announced we had a new boat. Six months ago he bought a $30,000 truck and took me to see it at the dealership after he had already bought it.
So now I am a b*tch for not being happy about the new storage building. woohoo
My grandmother is dying also
She and I are not exactly close, we live across the country from each other and always have. She was never very nice to my mother so I had a hard time getting close to her. My brother and I are the only family she has left and of the 2 or us I am the only one that keeps in constant contact with her.
When I do talk to her I reminisce. Not about our times together but about when she was younger. She loves to talk about herself.
If this woman feels like talking do that. Or maybe she just feels like listening and you could tell her how much you enjoyed playing her piano and playing with her jewelry. Just let her know she made a difference in your life. You don't have to outright talk about missing her, but I know she will get the message and I am sure it will bring her some comfort.
For crying out loud people...
it is a TV show. If most of you put the time and energy you spend here being moral police and put it to some good use in the world, think of the things you could accomplish! Sounds like there are a bunch of insecure women out there. Face it, there are beautiful women on this earth and every man looks at them, no matter how whipped and controlled he is. It is nature, men are visual creatures. Face it, would your man rather look at a pretty woman all dressed up or someone in sweats who does not care about her appearance? Good luck trying to keep your man under lock and key... a perfect way to lose them!
Thanks for the posts on my furkid dying
I posted on the 11th and my little girl, oh she went by several names, Kitty-Kitty, baby, sweet lamb and my little girl, but actually her name was Emerald, died at my home the next day, Saturday 1/12/2008. She was born at my home 18 years ago and how I loved her. She had some ID keys that she wore on a collar and everytime I would go to the powder room or the kitchen, she would always come in, when I returned home here she came with the little keys sounding off. Now the quiet is almost deafening in my home. I have 2 other furkids (cats, both males) my husband gave to me, knowing Kitty-Kitty was older and when she died the others would sorta soften the blow. Nah, I love them but she was my baby. My daughter claimed her but "let" me have Emerald when daughter married because she knew my heart would break if she moved her. I went to the vet the day before Emerald died and asked if I thought she was in pain, was there anything I could give her - he told me a baby aspirin every 3 days and also if she were not sleeping, could give children's benadryl to help her rest. I never felt she was in pain and I held her Saturday morning for about 4 1/2 hrs telling her I loved her and she could go, knew she was sick and had been for several weeks really bad. I made her comfortable, covering her with a light blanket on a pillow and she died later on that afternoon. I dug a grave for her in my yard so she would never have to really leave her home. I will always treasure her love and the joy she gave us. What a wonderful girl and she was just my little girl.
my freezer/fridge is dying
Like an idio t, i thought it was my imagination that stuff wasn't getting cold enough or frozen hard enough in my fridge/freezer so i haven't said anything to the manager of our townhous complex. around Wedesday I noticed my cool whip wasn't frozen. Now my "frozen" fish sticks are softer and easy to break. Are they safe to eat? what happens if a "keep frozen" food gets thawed out? Is it still safe to eat?? The office isn't open until Monday and he probably won't get here until Monday afternoon at the earliest so what do I do with all my food in the meantime??
We are all in the same field - just get along for crying out loud!
Why such a division? The bottom line is that we all just want to communicate with people in the same field of work. This does not give anyone the right to slam the "other board" or certain people. Sounds like some of you just need to get a life.
I have to disagree. Marriage is not a dying
tradition. My parents just celebrated their 63rd anniversary. My husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary this past June, so no, marriage is not a dying tradition.
I'm more afraid of dying before I have a CHANCE to get old. nm
x
Sometimes, though, it helps the person dying to know sm
you have accepted it and they can go on. My dad held on until my mom said I'll be okay without you, I know you cannot go on any longer. He died within the next few hours of my mom saying that to him. We, too were in denial, and I believe that is why he hung on so long. Tell her what an impact she had on your life and how much she has meant to you and you will love her forever. Is she right with Christ? Does she believe she is going to heaven? In my grief class after my dad died, sometimes you don't have to say anything, just a "meeting of the hearts." Just go over there and see her and let whatever happens happens. Let your heart lead you.
They do multiply don't they?! Brought back memories when my oldest brother
bought 2 white mice at the pet shop and the guy told him they were both males...about 2-3 weeks later we had a full liter of white mice. Mom made him take the whole cage with mice back to the pet shop (I wonder why? LOL).
It's the images of dying people that get to me.. you must be out of the loop
nm
Mine does that weird loud crying
when she has her toy mouse- but it doesn't even have to be her mouse, it could be a milk jug lid thingy, but she walks around the house with it in her mouth and crying- it is the most mournful sound, I hate it. It makes me wonder if she thinks it is one of her babies?
She is the funniest cat. Her favorite thing to eat is french fries, and she chows the whole thing down. My other cat loves yogurt and you cannot eat yogurt in peace in my home.
I hear you- I had a friend dying of AIDS
that I lived with and helped take care of so he could die at home. There were times it was so stressful and uncertain that I would sometimes wish he would just die already. I felt like the worst person in the world for feeling that way but now I realize I am only human and I did the best I could.
I have a friend who called me to say her 34 year old son dying
this past week. I was shocked but this is a kid who has never hardly worked, looked to his mother for most things- she is on retirement and sucks the life from her. He is in ICU with cirrhosis, liver and kidney failure, started on dialysis yesterday. He has sat at home, not working, something wrong with all the jobs, but now he did have a girlfriend who worked part-time. My friend tells me he sat on the couch just drinking until he could not get up but continued just drinking, not eating, everything tasted like cardboard, he said. Well you know who was taking him the beer, right? The mother of course. Last Thursday my size 4 girlfriend had to carry her son (who was 60 something lbs) out to her car and rushed him to hospital, he stopped breathing, been on vent since. This is a mother who does the above, gives all she can and runs herself out to help her boys (34 and 34) but she thinks she helps. She has almost helped him into his grave - oh he is still very, very ill and may not make it. BTW, the girlfriend is now at the hospital begging for gas money to go back and forth to see the boyfriend and yet the mother has no real income of her own. She feels like she is an excellent mother also. Really sad to see this and so irritating at the same time as she really does not get it, the damage she is doing (has done).
My heart is heavy -I think my older cat is dying
It is hard to type or even see when your eyes are brimming with tears. I have had this girl since her mother first showed up at my door pregnant with her about 17 years ago. She is a purr girl and she has been sick, had a stroke which she recovered from but now a couple of months later feel like she is living on borrowed time. Not in pain but seems to be sorta stuporous, will respond when I call her name by looking at me. I have hand fed her water (ice water which she likes) and also she took very little in in the way of food. I called my daughter to see if she wanted to come by tonight after she gets off from work and she said absolutely. I hated to tell her at work but so afraid this ole girl is not going to make it much longer. She has trouble getting around so I am her legs now. If she needs to go to the bathroom, I will take her there also. I have her laying on 1 of my fav sweaters now in my work room, held her lots last night and today also. My heart hurts.
dying tradition would refer to the new generation
x
I'm still crying! *Don't read this if you Tivo'd the show!*
First off, I can't believe Alex said that stuff to Izzy! Even if he didn't mean it, what a jerk! And then to have her code like that, just when she started to remember things - like what he said!
Second, I heard that George was leaving the show, so him joining the Army was kind of a shock, but I thought that would be a nice way for him to leave - you know, go out all hero and stuff. Did they really have to kill him?!
And last, why can't Derek and Merideth just get married already! I mean, they sort of did, but not really! Come on!
I'm so frustrated that now we have to wait until this fall to find out what's happening! AAGGGGHHHH!
Okay, I'm waaayy to into this show!!! =)
my youngest daughter puts her in the lunchbox just to keep her drink cold, but my oldest never does
sick yet. If their school is like my daughters' schools they eat about 3 hours after school starts so I would not think there would be a problem.
Oh for crying out loud! Drink some warm milk and
ajd;d
Thanks. I think mine is slowly dying. It sometimes gets a reddish tint all over it and I think the
refresh or whatever it does through the different colors isnt working right. I do shut it off when I am not working but I am usually working except at night. I paid a decent amount for this so thought I would get at least 3 years out of it.
Paris to serve all 45 days. Left court crying and screaming
w
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
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