My niece died from
Posted By: Interesting! on 2009-03-06
In Reply to: I was confused because SIL can also - Jan
obstructive sleep apnea at 37. I did not see at my father's funeral. I was not called when she died. My brother's wife called my first cousin and he passed the news on to his mother (my maternal aunt) and maternal aunt called me. I had no idea (being as my brother did not speak nor want me in their lives) that the niece had gone thru so much. My aunt and I went to the funeral home and funeral and the mother told me about what kind of life she had, drugs, alcohol, prison - yes prison. No one ever told me and this was about 3 times she was in prison. I never knew anything about these kids coming up. The mother told me the niece did not have insurance, could not afford CPAP. I would have bought that had I known but like I said, brother made the decision to NOT have me around and I went along with his wants. The only heirs would be my brother's children, not his wife, not ever. I am sorry you do not tend to understand this but this is the case. In the years since 1973 no one from that family called until nephew in jail in maybe 1986 or 1987. I never heard my name called by Aunt on the first part of it. Only sibling I had. I have complete peace of mind and sleep like a baby. After my brother died with his children being 4 and 6, his wife could have reached out to me then, did not happen. All water under the bridge, long time ago.
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Niece died with sleep apnea, husband has
I know how dangerous- the niece was 39. Hubs also wears the mask every single night. He and I both know well about this. He has a brother who absolutely needs, had wreck driving in the daytime, somnolent but cannot tell some people.
My plants died when husband still alive but after he died
surprisingly I grew lots of plants and still have them. My housekeeper says he was the devil and that is why the plants died. I was just as bad as you back then, killed artificial plants.
niece
Oh yeah, she may be mad at you now but just look at it this way in the future she will look back and be very thankful that you stepped in! Don't let yourself be talked into not mentioning it and keeping quite. This could end up being her life you are talking about here!
One niece was an MT
for a physical therapy place until it went out of business. She was making a lot of money but only knows physical therapy stuff. Two other nieces have talked to me about it, but one is not motivated enough to work at home unsupervised. The other niece recently had to quit her job in graphic design to stay home with her 1 year old son who has been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.
I wish my niece could know you
She needs to develop a backbone and realize there is life after a "control freak", abusive, alcoholic, drug dependent jerk!!!! You go, girl - so glad you found a millionaire - Does he have a brother between 48-55? I never know when my circumstances may change. Love my husband, but you never know - he's lots older than me - I have to be prepared, ya know? Next time, I want nice, fun and definitely rich, so I can do this job only if I want to, not to pay the bills.
my niece
You can tell them not to be like my niece who is going to be 14 in about a week. She is a young lady now. She does not bathe, brush her hair, wear deodorant, or brush her teeth. She has now gotten over 13 cavities and will be spending the next sets of mondays at the dentist getting teeth fixed. She also has terrible gum disease. I have tried talks but she is not my child. She does not live with me so it is hard for her to listen to her mother. Her mother really isn't much better. Instead of washing clothes, when she was younger, she would just take her to a thrift store and buy whatever they had. Tight clothes, too small, too big or whatever. Tell them they don't want to be the stinky kid with dirty clothes, hair, teeth that are crusty and bleeding, with clothes on like that. We now call it "don't be a morgan" to my 12 year old who does not want to brush his teeth or retainer, mostly because he does not rinse the retainer off enough and it tastes funny. HA.
your niece
What a GORGEOUS baby!!
You certainly are blessed, and your sister is blessed to have a sister as kind-hearted as you to have come stay with her!
Merry, merry Christmas!
My niece
the love of my life! doing this right here! holding her as much as I can!!!
PS i understand about your cat though... before i moved closer to be with my niece, my dogs would always make me happy
My sister and niece
are really cat people, too. They are really funny. My sister used to have one, Luke, a big black cat wearing a texedo, who would every year without fail stalk a wooden Christmas elf we set out, glare at it for a minute or two, then take that giant paw and give a big swipe and knock it to the floor. Every year, same elf, same reaction. What a gem! We laughed til we cried! Thanks again. I am meeting a friend tonight for dinner, and her two cats are the love of her life!
Need advice on niece
My sister has a daughter, 7, with some behavioral and speech problems. In school today the teacher asked her to "hurry up" and my niece grumbled and gave a look. Apparently, on the bus she told her classmates that she was going to "put a bomb in Miss _____'s milk." Those students in turn told the teacher. Teacher responded by telling niece it was inappropriate and that she was spending time with the principal tomorrow. My sister is at a loss on how to approach my niece about this. She is kinda of jaded when it comes to this particular daughter, thinking she's just fine, but this niece has always been violent. How should she approach her daughter (in 1st grade) in this situation?
TIA!
How often do you see your niece/nephews
My brother-in-law and sister-in-law moved back to this state recently after being gone for many years. They have 2 teenagers. All 4 are living with grandparents right now, most probably indefinitely but that's a whole other story. My question is how often do your niece/nephews spend the night at your house? Mine are also out of state so it is hard to say what it would be from that side. I just feel like after having little family here for so many years I am now on family overload. These kids want to stay and be with us all the time. Granted, I understand they have no friends bc they aren't in school yet and they like us more than gma/gpa and their own parents but I rarely say no bc I don't want to be the bad guy but I like my piece and quiet! and of course I like less mess to clean up. not to mention teenagers are expensive. So what's the average out there? Once, twice a month?
My niece recomended something to me that
WORKS AND IMMEDIATELY!!!!! She told me last year and I kept using other things and a few weeks ago bought it and she nailed it!!!
GOLD BOND! 
I got the Medicated, but my sister got regular and she says the same thing. THIS STUFF WORKS. The medicated is wonderful because it instantly cools the skin and NO MORE ITCH. It is menthol, and therefore would not use it on face or around the eyes, but it has STOPPED the unrelenting itch of legs and arms for me!
Oh and the model is my niece....sm
But she is like my own. I have kept her a lot since she was 5 weeks old. Sis-in-law is single and when she would date I would keep her. The child's dad is a loser. He walked away when sis-in-law got pregnant and hasn't seen Addie since she was an infant and doesn't want to even though he lives a few miles away. So I say she is better off without him.
Praying for your niece and family....
Lost my dad to this a year ago, about 5 years after being diagnosed. Blessings and strength to your family.
RE: Thanks everyone for your replies. I have forwarded them on to my niece who is the one (sm)
who had the positive test. She is only 21 and this is her first pregnancy. All your replies are greatly appreciated!! Thank you!
I'm sorry to hear about your niece, Lilly
I'll keep her in my prayers.
It is totally ridiculous, my niece just went to hers
and got her dress and all the accessories at David's Bridal, it was more like 500.00 or so. That's not including the extra cash she needed to go out afterwards to *Friday's*. They are 14 years old! AND then they expect these Sweet 16 parties? LOL Well, if the parents do it, they're to blame. I don't really know if it's actually for the kid or just to *keep up with the Joneses* or to try to impress or what it is but it is getting out of hand now. We had none of that stuff growing up. I think our parents were smarter than that and didn't put themselves in DEEP DEBT with credit cards etc. So at least we'll be getting inheritances. These kids will be crying down the road that their parents spent theirs! Oh well ;) LOL
Talk to niece not your sister
Make this an oppotunity to bond with your niece. Don't tell her who told you, just talk to her alone and in a nonconfronting manner. Her sexuality is none of anyones business, teens have sex its been happening for 100s of years. She needs to know you are concerned about her health (pregnancy happens and lives change and things usually work out okay, but STDs can kill and infect more than just her. Offer to take her to a clinic to get tested and encourage that if she is going to be active then she needs to be on birth control plus a barrier method for her safety and her partners' safety. I would also talk to her about the drinking any other substance use that , may be going on. Offer her your ear to listen to her need to fit in, which is probably what is going on. She will hate you if you go to her mom,try talking to your niece first. See if she wants to go out for some girl time, shopping at the mall and out to lunch or something. Car rides are a great opportunity to talk and bond with nieces, daughters, etc..., and she can't storm out of the car if she gets upset.
That's what I told Lisa, my niece. She was in
disbelief. What really hurts is that her little girl was with her, and there is nothing in the world more important to her little girl than her "kitties." She carries them around and surrounds them with stuffed animals and is turning into a wonderful pet person. I am just so happy about that! I don't always approve of kids having pets, especially when very, very young. My niece waited until her daughter was of the age and understanding of respecting them until they went to the shelter, then back later for a second one after her little one kept asking for another! What a happy home for the cats! They found the pot at the end of the rainbow with the two of them! LOL!!! 
I agree with you on that. I saw it for myself when my niece married. SM
Her husband's sister just automatically developed an additude toward my niece, who is very quiet and very nice and could not be a better wife and mother. The sister was actually jealous of my niece and actually made comments about how no one would have ever been good enough for her "Joey." My niece was good to his family whenever they visited (they lived out of state) but finally told her husband that she would prefer to stay at his mom's house when they visited, even though the house was smaller. She was tired of the cold shoulder she got at ther sister's house. I saw it with my own eyes. It truly can happen for no reason whatsoever. The rest of the family loves my niece.
niece and restaurant -- are those right? can't get 'em
just hate that. i've added those to my Expander so they correct themselves... i know there's more ...
My 13 y.o. niece has just been dx with Grave's disease. Does anyone here have any info or sm
advice on what I can tell my brother about this? They are such a precious family. Brother visibly upset over this because he has been disciplining her for behavioral problems, etc., when all along it's been here thyroid. They want to do radiation right away to help shrink it? Or possibly remove thyroid altogether. She is so pretty. I spent the summer with them and yes, she did act diff. from other 13 year olds, looked very developed for her age (to me), and her eyes weren't bulging to me. I'm so glad they caught it today. It sounded like she was in the early stages of shock with fever, shakiness, etc.
Anyone with experience in this? Thank you so much.
Lucky you! My niece has a red Australian Cattle Dog
and she is adorable. Name is Reggie. She was taught to ring a bell when she needed to go out and learned to do so in 2 days! She herds everyone when they are in the pool and my niece must actually stop her or she gets blisters on her little feet and is worn out! They are incredible. I know some people refer to them as Heelers as well, maybe the same thing or maybe a tad different. In any event, what a great dog!!
I am in Bluefield, VA. My niece is in her first year at Marshall. nm
!
That is so cute! My niece's little girl cracks me up, too. She
just painted a picture for me that she has been working on for quite some time. I went over on Saturday night and she had me close my eyes for the unveiling. It is adorable. She made a yellow background because she knows it is my favorite color. They are so precious, aren't they?
She is gorgeous, and a twin to my niece's beautiful cat, Nina! NM
XX
Good grief, we didn't even go to either of my niece's graduations
and they both live here in our town. We love them both dearly and are very close to them but they both said it didn't bother them. They go to different high schools and there is limited seating at one of them. Each graduate only gets 7 tickets and after parents, grandparents, and siblings we really couldn't go. We did go their grad parties and they were more excited about what was in their card anyway. LOL Your husband needs to let his sister know that he plans to have a vacation with his entire family, so it is either go see them a week later, or go wherever you choose.
Just bought Jonas Brothers Tickets for 12 yo niece
Her and 2 of her friends. Should be interesting. LOL. Don't forget Bobby Sherman in that group.
The bell is a great idea! My niece's cattle dog learned to SM
ring the bell in 2 days and has done it ever since. It is adorable. If no one lets her out right away she looks around and takes that leg and swings it and hits it the second time. It is a wonderful idea.
I have been asked to handle the bridal shower for my niece's wedding and I need ideas!
My niece is 18 and getting married very young, but not getting married because she "has" to, if you know what I mean. However, the maid of honor is my other niece who is 17 and not in a position to plan and pay for a bridal shower and so I've been asked to plan and then co-host the shower with my neice, the maid of honor for my niece, the bride. Confused yet?
And the wedding is in August! So I need to decide on a theme, location, and get invitations out by July. I want to do something unique and fun, but right now I can't seem to work up a unique idea to save my life! Help!
She died.
The vet looked through the records for these cats and they were apparently 4 weeks old when we go them, which made Little One about 12 weeks old. She still fit in the palm of my hand and weighed a pound. There must have been something genetically wrong with all of them. :(
Oh, that's why he died sm
I haven't been keeping up on the backstage stuff and wondered why he had to die. I really like the show. It kind of reminds me of Stephen King's The Stand, which is an all-time favorite of mine.
I say died. Died is died.
nm
My dog died while I was away....sm
I was at the beach this week and he'd been going back quickly, but you always think there's going to be more time. I knew he wouldn't see the end of summer, but I thought he'd be here when I got home today. I've been carrying his collar around in my pocket since my husband gave it to me when I got home.
They are now saying he has died. :( nm
nm
I also prefer died
tells it like it is. Expired just sounds dumb. I have not heard these in medical records but here are a few terms for disabled people I hate (I am disabled): Differently abled, physically challenged and - (gag) - handicapable. Who came up with these? Admittedly, crippled does not sound right anymore and handicapped sounds passe but just plain disabled will do.
My g'mother died in the 70s at the age of 75.
NM
It was very sad when my grandmother died
but she had lived a long good life. It was not a big party by any means, but we were looking at it from the side of she is now in heaven, she is with her husband, and she is no longer suffering any pain. I know there is always sadness and more for some than others. I knew what I wrote was going to be misunderstood. BTW, I am caucasian.
Bernie Mac died
It was sad to hear Bernie Mac had died. He was such a funny and talented comedian. I loved him in Transformers and Guess Who and heard his comedy stand up routines several times. He really made us laugh.
Unfortunately this is untrue - he has died
Don't know what news you were listening to but they were misinformed. Bernie Mac has passed away from complications of pneumonia. I wish it weren't true. He was very funny and from what I've read a very decent and humble and wonderful person in his private life. Will miss his good humor. I did love his routine about his sister's kids among others.
My father died when I was 21.
He was sick most of his life ... or at least during most of my life. He was a very sweet, gentle man, but he was always in pain and ill. As it happens, my family was just devastated in 1983. A dear uncle died of lung cancer that April. In May, my paternal grandmother with whom we lived died, my father died in July, and then another aunt who lived next door to us died that winter.
I have to say that as bad as that all was, the one thing that I was able to take forward with me was how to deal with death. After that point, as young as I was, I knew exactly what it felt like to lose someone, then to have to continue on and make funeral arrangements, stand in receiving lines, etc., etc. There's sort of a ritual to it all that is actually comforting. At least to me it was comforting. So from that point on, I had real empathy for others going through similar losses.
I think you've hit on why you feel that you are falling short in comforting your daughter. You said you haven't experienced this sort of thing in your life. One day, you will, unfortunately. It's part of life. But until then, it might help to talk to your friends or relatives who've been through it. You can gain insight from their experience.
I can tell you that there is really nothing to be done about the feelings. A person really does just have to experience them before going on. Your daughter sounds as if she is very in tune with her friends, who are going through such a horrible time right now and certainly have a long way to go yet. No doubt, your daughter is frightened about the thought that this could happen to her, as well. And she also would like to help her friends. I, too, tend to withdraw under stress. If your daughter is that sort of personality, then it might be difficult to talk to her. Just let her know that you are sorry and will talk to her when she is ready. But if you can talk to her, I would suggest you simply acknowledge that these sorts of things are extremely difficult to bear, seeming impossible. But that just being available to her friends will be a huge help. She can simply send a card, note, email, even a text message to say "I'm thinking of you." You can set the example by sending a card to the your daughter's friends and their families.
That sounds so simple, but it's actually huge, because when you go through times like this, so often you feel alone. Knowing that others are thinking of you can be so comforting. I can remember when my father died, I felt like I was walking in a bubble, separated from everyone but still there with them. I'd walk down a busy street, people moving past me, talking, doing their normal things, and all the while my whole life had changed. Yet, I know I looked completely normal. It was a strange feeling, one I've had more than few times in my life. I felt as if I had a gaping wound in my chest, yet as I walked down the street no one would notice it. It makes you feel very separated and alone.
So if you can offer any advice to your daughter, let HER know that she's not alone, and tell her that her friends need to know that, too.
I was nine when Elvis died,
but it still had quite an impact on me, and I remember, as do most, where I was when I heard the sad news. I was never one to watch the royal family very much, but I must say that I felt devastated to hear of the tragedy when Princess Diana was killed, and had the same sort of feeling when John Denver went home.
I was about the same age when Elvis died...sm
I remember listening to his funeral on my radio, which at that age it still strikes me as odd as I probably was not a fan of his music. Just one of those moments in history, I guess.
I also remember getting up at 6:00 a.m. to watch Princess Diana get married, and I remember when she died, I was kind of embarrassed at how impacted I was by that. I guess somehow maybe I wanted to be a princess even in my adult years.
Don't remember John Denver so much but anyone a Chris Ledoux fan?
CNN says she's dead - died at the hospital....
found unconscious in a hotel room. So sad that she had such a wasted life.
I think she died of a broken heart.
She said in an interview awhile back that if it wasn't for her baby, she'd be with Daniel whereever he was. She wanted to leave this earth.
This whole thing is so sad - like some horrible made-for-TV-movie.
It's confirmed our baby died ...sm
3 weeks ago. I'm having a D&C tomorrow since I haven't had the spontaneous miscarriage.
my father died at 96 and worked til 86
   
I'm so sorry for your loss! Mine also died of (sm)
acute renl failure, and was only a 4-yr-old Persian. His problem started with a urinary tract blockage that almost killed him. An amazing vet saved his life, but apparently the damage was already done to his urinary system, and a month (and $2500) later, he had to be euthanized. :( After reading about Persian cats' predisposition to UTIs, blockage, and renal failure, and the role food can play, I blame myself for letting him have Meow Mix dry food - not as a staple, but just as a hand-fed, occasional treat. Especially since this cat would NOT TOUCH wet cat food of any type - another risk factor. I now have a new Persian, and this kitty gets ONLY Royal Canin Persian 30 dry cat food, and immediately after the recall I threw away any Nutro Max wet cat food I had. (I was lucky - she wouldn't eat it anyway). Their kibble is supposed to be a high-quality food. But since my little flat-faced kitty also finds the shape of Royal Canin easier to pick up and chew, in addition to the fact that it's formulated for Persians, that's the only dry food I'll feed her. For wet, she gets a mixture of Fancy Feast and Friskies Prime Filets.
Thanks for the info. about lilys (?-what's the plural of lily, anyway?) Aloe vera is another poisonous one. Actually there are MANY! (You can find lists on cat websites, which you probably already know.) I play it safe and keep ALL live plants (except kitty grass) outdoors, and have only plastic plants indoors. (An upside to that is the plastic ones are easier to keep alive, too!) ;D
Had a friend whose husband died
and she had grown children but I know she was not able to collect his social security at 50 - she had to wait til at least 60 before collecting on his. She had never really worked at job where she could make her own living and she was in a mess, had to take sales position in a dress shop and nearly went under waiting.
I know there was a reason my baby died...sm
but that doesn't erase the heartache of losing a life that was created. I've always heard that losing a child is the worst pain anyone can endure and certainly agree. I've buried a fiancee in the past as well as other close friends and relatives but the pain from their deaths was different than this one.
Thank you to those that have responded. I know I'll get through this, hard as it may be.
my Pop died early 2005-have never gotten over it
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