My mother chose my stepfather over her kids
Posted By: sm on 2007-11-09
In Reply to: How do you know he doesn’t like you/kids - Stepfathers
I have been in the same situation for the last 20 years. My mother figures she only sees us once in a while, so she would rather not be alone the rest of the time. I know how much it hurts to not feel welcome in your mother's house. It shouldn't be that way.
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Gifts from the kids on Mother's day??? (sm)
This is one that I never understood. Do you have very little children?? I raised my kids by myself and they never had a dad around to make sure they got gifts for me. They made things in school when they were little. Then as they got a little older (like even just 6 or 7) they would say they didn't make anything in school that year, and I would tell them, well then it would be nice if you make breakfast or supper for me! They always did it themselves, and I ate whatever they made. I just never understood buying something for your kids to give your wife. It's the kids' mother, not the husband's.
It would be different is the mother was asking the MIL to watch the kids...
the MIL is asking the kids to spend time with her so she should do things the kids want to do, not necessarily what she wants to do...if it was the other way around then I would agree the kids would just have to deal with things the MIL wanted to do...
I so agree...mother of 3 healthy kids
I have a similar relative who would NEVER let anyone around her girls when they were babies, whether we were sick or not. No one was allowed to even hold them. Those babies grew up to be 2 of the sickest kids I ever saw.
I am single mother, raising my kids on my own, but not
by choice, because my husband died at a very young age and because of his illness we weer unable to get life insurance, so I am left to support them on my own. I really am upset that would even look down upon a single parent in such a way. If you want people to be open-minded to your decisions in life, I suggest you not group all single parents into some sort of welfare classification.
No where either. My mother didn't raise any foolish kids. LOL nm
nm
Staying at home and raising us kids worked for my mother
Hmm. It should be okay with me right? Oh, wait, that puts me in the welfare line which you think everyone takes advantage of.
You don't live in your mother's time. I wish you did, because the internet didn't exist then.
My stepfather is a big jerk too (sm)
When I go visit my family we stay in a hotel and visit back and forth with them. That way I don't care if I feel unwelcome and I still get to see my mother and other relatives, and if he starts acting jerky, I have somewhere else to go.
Good for you! I had to stand up to my stepfather (sm)
When I was about 15 or 16 - threatened to burn him with the iron I was using once. He decided to leave me alone from then on. The ones who are mean to children are really just cowards much of the time. Never hit my kids and don't need to.
Neither. Not seen dad in the 21st Century, but did see mom to meet my stepfather. sm
They were very young when I was born, only 16 and 19. I have a younger brother who is gay and they have both pushed him away too, though mom a bit less. They were very controlling, highly critical and verbally abusive. The only thing I regret about the lack of relationship is that they managed to drive a wedge between my brother and I. I would thrilled to see him and build a new, grown up relationship, but they have made that impossible.
And for the record...I didn't see either of my parents for about 10 yrs and then decided to try again in my late 30s and early 40s. It proved fruitless. They were more angry, more belittling and just as abusive as ever. I tried, but then again I have changed and I no longer need that sort of negativity in my life.
I chose not to
Recently, my teenage son got up from the computer and left his IM window open. On it, he has referred to my husband, his father as "Hitler." I chose to keep this to myself.
However, I wonder if you telling your dh that your child considers him a yeller, if that would change something.
Also, if he is in constant pain, that probably has a TON to do with dh's attitude.
Yes, I chose to have everything taken out due to the risks
involved of leaving the ovaries in. I was actually pregnant at the time of this discovery and elected to continue the pregnancy (against medical advice) and had the surgery done afterwards.
But he mom chose to dismiss it, and the dad did his best.
x
I had it done, chose the string..sm
method - I don't agree that they will fall off with no pain - I DID have pain, and continued bleeding to the point that I had to wear a band-aid for over a week. And yes, mine did grow back - although it's not nearly as large as it was before I had it removed. If I do have to repeat the removal, I think I'll go with snipping it off!
I chose to buy. I was in a position to be able
to put enough down on the home so that my mortgage is actually less than most rentals around here.
I would recommend you buy if you plan on staying in that area because the rates are so great right now. You are likely to be able to grab a great deal on a house. If your credit is good, don't put as much down for a deposit and sock it away for emergencies. Good luck to you!
NOT all CHOSE to be here! and they are trying to do their best to acclimate!..nm
nm
I try to pick and chose- sm
in the Fall I usually have 4 going on at various times. Nuts for GS, candles for dance, flags/magazines for school and frozen cookied dough for school...the two school ones do not overlap but are only a few weeks apart from each other. The nuts and candles overlap the school ones though. Obviously I try not to bug my neighbors too much. We hit everyone up for GS, but for dance I just make a donation, and school we may ask a few people on the flag/magazine one, the cookied dough one I don't bother anyone, it is gross, and I still have stuff in my freezer from 2007 (which I have to chuck). Kids just brought home another one a few days ago for St. Judes (from school). I give to our local Children's Hospital and Make-A-Wish, and ASK (raises funds for MCV's Pediatric Oncology Dept.)so St. Jude's is out of luck there. I just do cash donations now if I want to donate that is, otherwise I do not go to the trouble to bother every soul I know to buy something, and never ask family except for the grandparents.
why I chose a Ford
This website is excellent. Most people are happy with their cars for the first couple of years, but then the lemons start to surface...
carsurvey.org
We went out together and I chose mine - and love it
your boyfriend sounds very immature. Good Luck!
My first husband chose that life
not because he was broke, hungry or the like. He came from a well to do family, had home but just wanted to live that kind of life. Stayed out there for years because he wanted to. I do not hand out money to beggars along the roads. Ask them to come and work for you (even though holding up a sign saying they will work for money) and see how many offers you get. I can flip how many burgers not to be another out there- probably a heck of a lot.
Exactly! Poster chose to put those 4 sentences
x
I'm also disappointed that you chose this route.
It seemed obvious that you didn't want the paddling to happen, but you caved and let someone else (school and daughter) make the decision.
Whether one is for or against corporal punishment isn't even the issue for me. The bigger thing with me is the thought that some adult getting may be getting his/her thrills from paddling a teenage girl.
oh, it occurred to her, she chose to ignore it...
and these people had to pay $7000 income tax on these vehicles so most of them sold the vehicles instead. However, giving a car isn't as bad as a plasma TV in my mind for the homeless because at least they could sleep in the car(s)......cellphones and plasmas for the homeless made no sense whatsoever to me.
You chose assistance rather than working, right?
Says a lot for you.
Both of my children were out of high school when I chose this
job to be able to stay at home and work. I still wanted to be there for them and for my husband. I take great pride in my work and do a great job. Just because I chose a job that provided the "benefits" that I wanted does not make me unprofessional. A lot of people chose their professions based on the benefits that profession offers, but it doesn't make them a bit less professional. So, TM, I'm with you on this one. I chose this job to be able to stay at home and I'm not the least bit ashamed to tell anybody that's my reason. 
Garmin is a popular model, but DH chose
the Magellan Maestro 4000 GPS portable navigational system for features and price.
He got it on Bizrate through Beach Camera.
http://www.beachcamera.com/shop/basket.aspx?sku=MGM4000&act=add&sks=MGM4000,
glad you chose to hand quilt...sm
I've always felt that machine quilting was cheating...I like nana's idea of the yarn ties...that was the first one my grandma taught me how to do. Mommy also quilted and we'd hit the quilt shows where you have to wear white gloves before touching any quilt.
Recently went to the Museum of the American Quilter's Society in Paducah, KY (couldn't touch....it took all my willpower, believe you me).....The unique artistry and craftsmanship of each piece was breathtaking....a lot of applique and embroidery was employed as well...painting with thread and material...whoa! My friend and I split up and studied those quilts for about 1-1/2 hours and then we asked each other "Which one would you choose to take home?"  Cat
Good for you. I could have worked 2 jobs, but I chose to
spend my time with my kids so they would know they had a mother, not just an I'll never ask anybody for help, never at home, money-making machine.
How pompous! I'm a single mom and I didn't "breed" - I chose not to murder a baby. sm
yep, I'm a single mom and I'm proud of it. I was in a very stable long-term relationship and I ended up getting pregnant while on the pill. But I didn't "breed" as you put it. You breed cattle, not babies.
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
People in other countries do not chose to learn English, they HAVE to learn it in school
for a period of 8 to 12 years.
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
mother in-law help sm
Ok, so here is what is going on. My mother in-law fell down some stairs and broke her leg. She did not have insurance. She had not been to a doctor in 27 years. She has been in the hospital for about 4 days. They had to do surgery and things are looking good. She will have to have rehab for a few months, use a walker and so on. Well, guess who they ask to take care of her for the next few months? The "stay-at-home" mom who has all the free time in the world haha (not to mention I have a 3 year old who stays at home with me and a busy 6 year old in school). This would consist of me taking her to the restroom, bathing, changing dressings, helping with rehab exercises, not to mention working 8 hours a day and making sure my 3 year old doesn't climb on her. I feel bad for saying no, but I think that they should feel bad for asking me. She has 5 children. I feel that it is way too much responsibility for me to take on and that it absurd that they asked me. Aren't there facilities where she can go at least for the 1st month? Please help, just need advise.
And for anyone who wants to say "if it was your mother..." Believe it or not, in June MY mother fell down some stairs and broke her ankle. I was at her house every afternoon and we had people come in multiple times daily to check on her. However, the mother in-law is about 25 years older and the extent of the injury is greater. I would have never asked my husband to take care of her and help her do these things.
My mother-in-law
My mother-in-law keeps giving my Longaberger baskets for b-days and Christmas. She loves these baskets and has over 100. She visits the factory several times a year, (about a 4 1/2 hour drive) and often takes the female family members with her. These baskets are beautiful but I am just not a basket person. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but these baskets are expensive and I have over 20. When I tried to mention to her as politely as possible that I just don't need any more baskets, she told me that she often changes hers out so she can enjoy them all. I would much rather have sheets, bath towels, cookware, or even a gift certificate for dinner. My hubby and I have been married 19 years, have to children, and have a very good relationship with my mother-in-law. She is a fabulous grandmother, but I am really tired of the baskets. Any suggestions?
I also have MVP and so does my mother...
so I don't know if there is a correlation or not between the two...
My mother's cat
looked like it had mange and when I asked the vet about it he said he had never seen a cat with mange. A friend told my mom that cats are extremely allergic to poinsettas and my mother had one sitting in the cat's favorite window. After she threw out the flower the cat got better very quickly. 
It's up to your mother-in-law to keep them in the
them. Your sister-in-law should not even bring them over there anymore in my opinion. If your mother-in-law's gate cannot hold them in for sure, then she absolutely should not watch them.
Your sister-in-law sounds selfish to me, so point out to her that it is unsafe for her OWN animals to be out running free, as anyone would have the right to shoot them if they were on their property threatening them. Maybe then she will care! Plus she (or you mom-in-law) could be sued if the dogs injure or kill someone or someone's animals. Not to mention they would have to live with that for the rest of their lives.
Having seen my own mother do a 180
since the death of my own dad 3-1/2 years ago and learning the hard way from things that have happened - I would just keep my mouth shut and say nothing and do nothing.
mother . ..
This may not be comforting to you, but I wish my mom (also 80) would do something like that. I think she would enjoy the company, and the activities. We have an awesome ALF here in our town; it's like a mini city!!!! Be glad she is making this decision for you and that you don't have to push her. She may benefit tremendously from this!!!!
My mother once said and she was right...sm
tis better to raise children in a happy divorced home than a miserable married one.
I divorced my kids father and within 3 years, all of us were in a much better place and now, 16 years later, this still holds true!!! This, I swear!!
I really have to believe that my Mother is up there
watching over her grandchildren. She lived for those kids and that truely was one of the things that hurt me the most when she died so suddenly. My niece is leaving for college in Aug. My son got his license and did very well in the state Forensics competition. Little things like that are the things that she would have been so proud of. I know my mother was a christian but I just hope that she is able to see us here on earth. Thank you for your response.
what was his mother like?
?
My mother does this to me!
She does it all the time and it's infuriating!!! She interrupts my sentence by finishing it herself and it drives me absolutely crazy. I've asked her nicely, I've asked her rudely, it still continues and I have just given up. She's not going to change, especially at her age. Sometimes when she interrupts me, I'll just stop talking altogether and that's the end of the conversation. Try turning the tables and doing it to your boyfriend incessantly and see if he gets the point.
I feel your pain!!
For Mother's Day...sm
my wonderful DIL made me a CD from pictures of my two sons from tiny baby up to my older son's wedding (my younger son was Best Man). Her choice of music and pictures were all just perfect. I LOVE IT!
I wish my mother would be
I don't think I'd be so hip on her folding my panties, lol, but seriously it sounds like she has very good intentions. My MIL lives out-of-state and I wish she lived closer so I could spend more time with her. We all have our quirks. I would love it if my MIL or my own mother took the initiative to check my children's homework, etc. It would be different I suppose if she lived across the street from you but since she is that far away, I'd let her enjoy herself. Had she gone through YOUR MAIL or something private like that, I would be concerned.
My own mother does this
I have told her especially when H is here especially to knock first. She never seems to get the message through her head. 
mother
Do we have the same mother? You have to be my sister - I have a very wonderful mother. The only problem is, I cannot seem to please her - EVER. She is a person who is constantly doing and giving, so people think she is a saint. Only with me is bitter, hates the Holidays, hates the whole gift thing, decorating, etc. I absolutely love to decorate, but gifts, fancy wrapping, etc. I keep telling myself she won't be here forever, and try to "play nice" but sometimes could just scream "Okay, I get it - I will never be pious enough or frugal enough (unless the Q gets any worse) for you." Anyway, don't feel alone. I feel your pain. Have a wonderful holiday season and if you get any more frustrated, email me - we can trade frustrations.
My mother used this when I was a kid
and I saw some in the store just the other day, smiled to myself, brings back memories.
Of course, he does. But what would your mother
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