My mom ddnt want a viewing or funeral
Posted By: Backwards typist on 2009-03-17
In Reply to: can people say goodbye without a funeral? - sm
I tried to uphold her wishes but her one sister did not have "closure" without some sort of pomp, so five months after mom died (was cremated), I held a small service at the cemetery (didn't want to, but wanted the aunt to have her "closure." She never showed up!
Both hubby and I are not going to have a viewing or funeral and the kids know it. I'm getting cremated, while he wants to be buried the regular way 'cuz he hates being hot. LOL
You can have closure without the above. In fact, in my case, it just brought all the sadness back to the surface and it took me another couple months to get back to normal again. Think of it this way, as mom used to say: "I want people to remember me as I was, not as I am."
Hope this helps.
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I think you should go to the viewing.
If certain family members don't believe your story, they might think their beliefs are confirmed by you avoiding the viewing. I would go, but if things get ugly....simply leave.
You were kind enough to give them the deed to those plots. It isn't like plots are cheap. If they wanted your mom moved, they should have told you yes straight up when you mentioned it or they could have done it themselves and maybe gone halfsies on it since you gave them the deed to the plots.
Maybe John is simply grieving and not thinking straight, but I think you would regret not going if you didn't.
I think you should go to the viewing.
If certain family members don't believe your story, they might think their beliefs are confirmed by you avoiding the viewing. I would go, but if things get ugly....simply leave.
You were kind enough to give them the deed to those plots. It isn't like plots are cheap. If they wanted your mom moved, they should have told you yes straight up when you mentioned it or they could have done it themselves and maybe gone halfsies on it since you gave them the deed to the plots.
Maybe John is simply grieving and not thinking straight, but I think you would regret not going if you didn't.
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funeral
I think the Harley guys are actually Vietnam war vets. We had the same thing happen here - the Kansas group is not making many converts to their way of thinking.
Funeral
I know they keep saying if you do not agree with a post...DO NOT RESPOND..... so they have to BLACK to grieve.....
Funeral
Not flaming you.....very good post.....
oh wow! why protest at someone's funeral?--sm
How about a little compassion for the family of the one who was killed? my goodness. this is not the place to hold an anti-war protest!!! Most of these soldiers probably had no choice in where they were sent while serving out country. I am against the war too, but as much as I am against it, I would leave the families of the departed to grieve in peace. how rude! How do the bikers get involved in keeping the peace??? sorry, I just really don't know about all of this.
Not worse than the funeral I went to
NM
Missing funeral
Male a donation in the girl's name to the Natinal Kidney Foundation or some other kidney charity with a nice note.
funeral protester
Is it that same woman with her 8 kids that were picketing the soldiers funerals. That woman is a disgusting disgrace and they should arrest her for disturbing the peace. That ugly SOB. All she wants is media coverage and she should be arrested for child abuse for making her kids learn all this nonsense she is spewing out. I would like to see the people take it upon theirselve to knock the crap out of this woman and have he police just stand by and let her get the crap beat out of that scumball.
There is a funeral in our area this weekend for ...
a soldier killed in Iraq and just found out those wonderful people from Kansas are planning to attend. 
Song not any worse than my at the funeral I went to
Cousin knew she was dying from cancer. My 90-year-old father there and unbelieve, she was always something else, started off with Ole Timey Rock and Roll and the end of the funeral was Somewhere Over the Rainbow. My father said, well I never. I had not either but her choices.
maybe the funeral home has an on-line
site to offer words or comfort to the family. I've seen a couple of these. What to say? just what is on your heart, "cannot find words to express..", that your heart hurts with them...you care...
I keep dreaming about going to a funeral and in the middle SM
of the service the deceased gets up and falls on ME! No kidding. Two nights ago TWO of them in one night! What the hay does that mean??? I need your wisdom and guidance!
the funeral thing could be entirely new thread
At times like that the kids are a good reminder that life goes on, and that we live on in our kids, grandkids, etc.
Pianists out there - I need music for a funeral
for a friend who is dying - the Irish tune, Danny Boy. He has asked that it be played at his funeral. Would anyone be willing to send me a copy? I will pay for postage. Thanks.
can people say goodbye without a funeral?
I think i will be faced with this predicament before too long. Husband says he does not want a funeral. Yet i wonder if his kids can say their farewells and be emotionally okay without one? anyone with experience or thoughts on this?
A funeral is not the time or place for your friend to take a stance over something done 10 yrs ago.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but for your friend to even "think" about saying anything right now would be selfish and inconsiderate. He has had 10 years to deal with this issue. Why now??
I really tried to look at this issue from all angles and to be honest, just really don't "get it." I can't understand why anyone would feel the need to change a name they have had for at least 18 years. If my daughter changed her name, I would be absolutely devastated. Unless she was in the Witness Protection Program, I would continue to call her by the name she was given after 26 hours of labor and delivery. I'm not sure I could call her by another name even if I wanted to. It may not sound like much, but your friend is really asking a lot from people. Old habits DO die hard and this is so much more than just a habit.
If a friend of mine did this and it meant THAT much to her, I suppose I would try to make her happy. Without knowing all of the details, it's hard say for sure. One thing I do know is that if your friend is going to address this, he needs to wait for the appropriate opportunity. The timing he chooses could have a significant impact on the outcome.
Do you mind me asking why your friend did something this drastic?
I personally think the funeral is what makes you an emotional wreck.
Funerals compound the grief for me. The dark lighting, the sad music, the morbid displaying of a dead body in the casket! No way for me. I hope to God my parents don't want funerals.
Memorial service, no problem.
I think the traditional funeral service is antiquated and just makes things worse.
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