My kids - private school sm

• I need to vent about our public school....sm - Inquiring mind
  • My kids - private school sm - Mom of 2
  • Some info for you - Topaz
  • Public School - Been There
  • My battle with public schools - A Mom
  • Your deserved vent - mt1313
    • You're asking what I and other parents were asking...sm - Inquiring mind
  • I just pulled mine out of private school - sm - Laura E.
    • what? - pay for it
      • I am not turning this to a religion argument- sm - Laura E.
        • church school - pay for it
        • My children have all gone to the private school through our church - with great results. It sounds like you're (sm)
  • private schools - pay for it
    • you have to realize too that a private schools also get those who are kicked out of public schools t - LMT
      • The private school we're considering is ...sm - Inquiring mind
      • She is right on the money about that - sm - Laura E.
        • Wow, Laura E, you are just an incredible ray of sunshine! Are you always - nm
          • Uhhh, I am pointing out things to look for and that - sm - Laura E.
          • my so nice this morning aren't we. everyone is entitled to their own opinion and experiences. w - LMT
            • No, I've watched this gal for a long time on the boards & - sorry to say, she's not a real sweetie. nm
      • well, I think it's more charter or Montessori type schools than private. - nm
    • Same here - see message
  • Followup - phone call with the principal....sm - Inquiring mind
    • However, you need to be clear about what YOU want and not just tell them - with great results. It sounds like you're (sm)
    • It has been a long time since I had school age children--sm - nn
      • Going thru similar thing. Thanks for posting this message...sm - Concerned parent
        • But finally came around - Hated special ed
  • sad we have to battle the school system that we pay for, but has she been tested for dyslexia? sm - LMT
  • She qualifies for an IEP under "other health SM - Chickadee
    • Chickadee, you are right, the only problem with that is the labeling - sm
      • Depending on where you live, there are "scholarships" that you can apply for such as the McKay - Spice
        • If that's do-able, I think that is a better option than IEP. - nm
  • I also have a 1st grader..... - Mommy2
  • I am sure people with disagree with me but...sm - at home MT
    • Federal laws require that students be educated....sm - My2cents
  • I know exactly what you are going thru!! sm - went thru this
  • Homeschooler Here - sm
    • www.starfall.com is a fun Learn To Read site. :) - nm
    • Homeschool is Terrific - nana
      • I don't know what everyone's school districts - TM
        • Public school - mh

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I think most private schools don't have to follow those govt innoculations things - I'm not sure, of course, but I seem to have heard something about that from parents who sent their children to private schools.  I couldn't afford that back in the days.

As for the deep south....things have gotten better for the American blacks all throughout this country finally after 400+ years or thereabouts...........I look toward Atlanta, Georgia because it shows what I'm talking about.  There are a tremendous amount of successful black Americans in Atlanta (not just in Atlanta either - Florida for one) and living in GREAT neighborhoods, buying expensive property and kudos to them.....I'm tolerant of everyone and everything in life except the intolerant and the extremists/terrorists and people who take advantage of others.....

I've told our 16-year-old now junior in high school that she can set her alarm clock and get herself up in the morning and out the door for school, on time, this year, and if she fails to get up on time and is late for school she will lose privileges with them increasing for each time she is late.  

What about your kids?  How old are they?  Are they responsible for getting themselves up in the morning and if so, at what age did they start doing this? 

1.  What ages are your kids? 16yo DS and 18yo DD  (and 21yo DS)

2.  Do they have their own cell phone? Yes, 16yo has a tracfone and 18 yo DD has a Go phone

3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:  No.  We have 1 good computer we all 5 used to share, but that is mostly DD's now that DH and I each got lap tops and oldest DS built a desk top for youngest DS for Christmas.  Oldest DS also has a lap top that he bought himself.  Nobody has a TV in their room, not even the grown ups.  No time limits on use at their ages, but they don't spend near as much time on the 'puters as they did when they were younger.

4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?  They all have jobs, but the youngest 2 get $5 a week for bringing in wood for the wood stove and burning the trash.  Plus youngest DS gets extra here and there for all the help he gives his dad and grandfather on the farms.  Their room are their own business at this point.  I just put the laundry on the bed and keep the doors closed. 

Our boys sound a lot alike.  My son was first diagnosed with ADHD, then nonverbal learning disorder, then Aspergers, although the school does not see the Aspergers being a true diagnosis.  He has always been in mainstream classes as he is academically very smart.  We started out with a 504, then went to IEP but he is not in any special ed classes.  His testing scores are in the high average and superior range and he is reading at an 11th grade level in the 6th grade.  I held off on the IEP for about a year because I was so afraid of the stigma associated with it.  No matter how common it is these days, once kids learn someone has an IEP, they're thought of as one of "those" kids and I didn't want him to go through that.  He has been on medication after medication and nothing seems to work in the long run.  We have tried trials of him off the meds but within 2 or 3 days we're getting phone calls from the school asking if he has taken his meds that morning because he is having such a rough time concentrating and focusing.  Not only is he very smart, he is also a remarkable athlete in hockey, baseball, golf and basketball and making the all star sport teams.  He's a great kid with a big heart, but he just doesn't seem to fit in with anybody.  I feel his main problem is with social skills and I have been asking for him to see the guidance counselor at school on a regular basis which has not been happening.  We live in a very rural area and there are only 18 students in his 6th grade class.  They have all been together for the last 6 years and know one another quite well, and by this time the "class order" so to speak is set.  There are two boys who seem to be the tough guys and the leaders that everyone follows.  Unfortunately, my son is on the bottom of the order and is singled out constantly because of his quirkiness.  They will do everything they can to get a rise out of him and think its funny when he reacts.  This has been going on for the last 2 years, this year being the worst.

I realize ADHD is common now.  My son's teacher told me that about half of the class is ADHD but we are not allowed to know who those students are, we can only speculate.  My point is, my son has now been singled out by his teacher telling his classmates he has ADHD so in my mind she violated his privacy rights and has made him more vulnerable to harrassment by kids who are cruel.  Am I right or am I wrong?  He is already being bullied and this will only give them more ammunition to target him.  Already today someone called my son a "sped", meaning special education, although he isn't in special education so this kid has no clue.  Admittedly my son doesn't stand up for himself and he just takes it because he wants to fit in so badly.  But he is hurting and will get very emotional when we talk about it at home.  My husband and I have had enough and it has got to the breaking point.  My husband wants to talk to a lawyer but I'm not sure if that is the way to go.  I told the teacher on the phone tonight I would like to come in to confront the class and single out each one of the kids that are the worst, naming them in front of their classmates and cause them humiliation and embarrassment.  She said that would probably make things worse, which I agree with.  Besides I know I wouldn't be allowed to do that anyway.

Here is it is.... January 30th and since January 1st I've been asked by my 16-year-old for:

$90 for a graphing calculator for the calculus class

$85 for school yearbook  (and price goes up 2/1 by $15..she didn't tell me any of this until now)

$30 for hoodie for yearbook club

$15  for drama t-shirt for spring production... which she has exactly 2 lines in and will not be on the stage any other time.

Total:  $220.

I bought the calculator as it was necessary and I know she'll use it again in college.  I've offered to pay half of the yearbook if she'll raise the other half.  For the shirts I've told her to raise the money herself.  The drama team is also looking to possibly go to New York for a few days to take in shows in May and gosh only knows what that would cost... if it gets approved.

She doesn't work and says if she gets a part-time job then she can't do the drama production as they practice 3 days a week until 8 p.m. .... well hello she has only 2 lines in it and isn't even in any other scenes.

I told her to get a job or start offering to babysit for money.  I'm tired of being nickel-and-dimed to death for fru-fru non-essential expenses.... especially since we just spent $700 on car repairs and $250 for surgery on the dog (abscess on foot - she stepped on something at some point and messed herself up) and medical bills are coming in from my husband's numerous medical tests he had in November.    I'm not going to pay for her to go to New York either when that would probably take out entire family vacation money for the summer. Once those numbers come in we'll offer to pay a portion of the cost but that's it.

She also insists she wants to go to college out of state, and her dad and I have also told her she has to figure out how to pay for that because we're not going in debt for that when she can get a free education from the lottery in our state by going to a state school.  She doesn't do any volunteer work, play sports or have any special talents that would qualify her for scholarships. 

I told her that it's time to grow up and realize there is no money tree in our back yard, and I'm not going to bust my butt working extra jobs to buy these things for her. 

1.  What ages are your kids?

2.  Do they have their own cell phone?

3.  Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room?  If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:

4. Do they receive an allowance?  If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?

As for our house, here's the answers.  Kids are 15 and 8.  15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill.  15-year-old has a TV.  The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day.  We do have parental controls in place.  They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money.  They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.

No, it's not fair that you should have to pay for a private school, but that might just be what is best for your daughter.  We decided 16 years ago that our 3 children would not go to public schools.  We have spent a fortune over the years, but I do not regret it for an instant. 

My daughter has been accepted to U of Tampa, a private college.  She will be a transfer student from a community college. However, she is also entertaining going to U of South FL (St. Pete campus). 

Financially it's the same because with UT she is getting grants/scholarships for most of the tuition.  At USF, she will be covered 75% by Bright Futures.  We will have to take out loans for housing for either.

We are having extreme anxiety over this.  Both campuses are very nice, but her personality is more condusive to the St. Pete (state college) atmosphere.  It's on the bay and looks to be much more laid back than UT which is in the middle of downtown Tampa.  

There are so many factors and if I enumerated them here, well, ya'll would get very bored.  But her major concern is learning and her second concern is being happy in her environment.  We are not big city folk, but I have no doubt wherever she goes, she will succeed.  I just want her to have the best experience possible.  In my heart I think USF is best, but she thinks resume-wise, a private college would look better.  Also, she is having a problem with turning down the grants/scholarships ($15,000) from UT and opting  for a state school. 

Let me also briefly say that her program of study is very strong at both schools and she has links with a professor at one of the schools who is advising her, but nonbiased (so he's helpful, but not enough to say GO HERE! lol)

I'm just wondering if private is all it's cracked up to be?  I don't know... She's going to have to make this decision on her own, but if any of ya'll have any input regarding either school or the area or college experience with state vs private, I would really appreciate a word or two!

One more thing... she's a huge baseball fan... Rays fan... St. Pete campus is 2 miles from the stadium...  Not that that's a big consideration, but a comfort zone is a good thing?

And... I would move there with her IN A HEARTBEAT (either place), but my son is about to enter an AS program (radiology) at the community college here and that track cannot be interrupted... just wanted to give all pertinent info for best input by ya'll.

is there someone close to the both of you that could be present when you tell him.  Ordinarily, I would recommend meeting him in a public place, but in this case, since it is a financial affair, I wouldn't recommend that.  However, if there is someone you are both close to, perhaps you could have them present (even if only in the other room) while you tell him. 

Another possibility may be to discuss this with your in-laws first.  Again, I wouldn't ordinarily recommend this, but they appear to already be involved in your financial matters since you borrowed the money from them for the car.  Depending on their reaction, perhaps you could all sit down together and they could help you work this out. 

If all else fails, call your attorney and schedule a meeting where he will mediate.  I would not tell this man alone in person.  It doesn't sound like a safe thing to do.

Pros

Academic excellence. At the private university learning is the emphasis more than the curriculum itself. The curriculum is rigorous and the course-work is unending, but learning is the central focus at such schools. If you plan on working during school, it is very difficult to balance a full-time schedule at a private university with a work schedule. The time commitment required to succeed in a given class is high, and this will ultimately interfere with your ability to work.

Close-knit community. The student community is an integral part of most private colleges. This can be difficult for more independent students who prefer a less hands on approach. The students communicate closely with professors both in and out of class and the students themselves attempt to involve everyone in campus activities. Involvement in the student community is one of the keys to enjoying your college experience at a private college.

Involved students. The classroom dynamic is much different at a private university than at a public school. Most students are entirely committed to their academic success. They participate actively in classroom discussions, complete coursework, and are fully engaged in the classroom culture.

Top-notch professors. Like the professors at state universities, the instructors at private universities have track records that attest to their personal academic achievements. While most are reputable, professors at private colleges tend to be more loyal to the college they work for and more interested in the achievements of their students.

Merit scholarships. The listed tuition is the highest at private colleges; however, what students actually pay for tuition is usually lower. When a student is interested in a private university and the school is interested in the student, both parties begin negotiating tuition by way of grants, merit scholarships, and other financial incentives. Thus, students with a good G.P.A. and knock out test scores should consider applying to any private institutions that they are interested in.

Class size. Even at larger private colleges the class size is contained. There are still lecture halls, but typically, fewer teaching assistants and more professors. At small private colleges classes can be as small as 10 or 12 students.

Cons

Homogeneous population. If you are looking for a more diverse student body that recruits kids from all walks of life, you aren’t likely to find it at a private college. If you are interested in a particular university, check it out first. It’s definitely a good idea to get a feel for what type of students they attract and their current student body is a good indicator.

Demanding schedule. The heavy workload makes it difficult to balance extracurricular activities, a job, and a social life at a private college. It’s a good idea to identify your priorities before setting out to attend a school that cost $30 thousand a year. Your parents will appreciate your consideration and you will avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Cost of tuition. Tuition is high, even for a good education. If money is no object—go private. If finances are a primary concern, consider all of your alternatives before committing yourself to a decade of debt.

Transferring credits. Private universities each have different crediting methods. If the university that you choose doesn’t work for you it may be difficult to transfer and retain all the credits you have earned.

March 14, 2007— Dozens packed the Belmont (California) city council chambers tonight for the first public airing of a new smoking ban proposal.

The law would give Belmont the toughest smoking ban in the nation — possibly in the world.

The crackdown aims to curb the harmful effects of second-hand smoke by preventing puffs not just in parks and around public buildings — but in private apartments and city streets as well. If the law passes, the only places left in Belmont to smoke would be single family homes and private cars.

Mayor Coralin Feierbach says the proposal was made to protect residents who suffer from health problems aggravated by smoke.The council didn't take action tonight. It's just the first of several meetings to discuss the proposal.

I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?