My husband and I both smoke!
Posted By: It's a horrible habit from our teenage years. on 2008-12-03
In Reply to: quitting smoking - the truth
This January we have decided will be it. It is no longer socially acceptable. My excuse has always been that I am afraid to gain a lot of weight.
My brother quit after 15 years (early 30s) and he used Chantix. He was a 3-pack a day smoker. Let me tell you, he is so much better. No coughing. After 6 years of trying to have a baby and failing in vitro; they have just had a baby this November. They both smoked/him worse. They are now both nonsmokers for over a year, have gained weight, but have such a blessing. He swears it was the smoking that caused the infertility. This pregnancy was the natural way and she's beautiful/such a blessing for them. We are all elated.
I am especially proud of him and feel like such a wimp to continue to smoke knowing it is killing me. It makes me feel inferior to others. Thank God my brother is an encouraging soul and not one of those horrible ex-smokers who just won't let up or are worse than just plain nonsmokers.
To the OP: These poster above is absolutely correct. My brother will vouge that everything in life is better now that he is a nonsmoker (i'm assuming including the sex since they now have the baby). He says the Chantix worked and he is by no means a pill-taker at all.
To the OP again: If you'd like to quit when I do in January, e-mail me, and we can support one another. You are worth it! You can still smoke the first week on Chantix, but then the cravings will disappear. Believe me, I also enjoy the cigarette especially after eating but smoke a lot more when I'm stressed to the point that I wheeze. I'm only 38 and have 2 kids. I hate the habit, but I love the cigarettes. See what I mean? It's a hard habit to break, but I think together we can do it! Whaddya say? E-mail me!
To the Poster Above: Thank you for your kind comments as you've also just made me decide that quitting is the best and only option at this point.
I had an aunt that died of ovarian cancer and never smoked or drank a day in her life. She was thin, always health conscious. Not all cancers including lung come from smoking. Keep that in mind as you strive to quit.
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I don't smoke and so I don't need it, but
I work for a doc that often prescribes it and it seems to work for everyone that has tried it. Some seem to stop taking it too soon and go back to smoking, but he has had at least a 90% success rate with his patients. Good Luck!
If it were me, and I am exactly like you are regarding smoke -
I would show up when I believe the cake and singing might be happening with a big smile on my face and well wishes. Stay for a short time, as long as you can stand it. I do not think you should miss her special day. I feel for you with being exposed to smoke and can feel my eyes burning and hair stinking just thinking of it. However, your friend would want you there, at least for a short time. Good luck! :-)
second-hand smoke
With any luck the weather will be good and the party will be held outdoors....If not, take her out to lunch or make a special lunch/dinner at your house just for the 2 of you....perhaps get your hair and nails done together or just piddle around in the consignment shops...do something that the 2 of you enjoy. If you've known her since Jr. High or thereabouts, she knows how you feel about smoking and I don't think she would be offended. The 1-on-1 time together would proabably the best present she gets....and you get to catch up everything without interruption.
I know, I did it yesterday...Made chicken and dumplings from scratch and sauteed squash and a light fruit salad, watched a video slide show that my friend made on a Mac laptop of renovation of the log cabin that her mother was born in (narration, music and all).....Her daugter's wedding is coming up in 3 weeks and the young lady wants it to be at the cabin. Then we tried on mother-of-the-bride outfits she'd brought over, we critiqued, exchanged jewelry that would match. We talked for about 3 hours non-stop and coulda gone on for another coupla days just reminiscing and trying to work out the kinks of the wedding and chowin' down on comfort food.
Just an idea....Hope this helps.
You have no idea how everyone around you who does not smoke SM
will appreciate what you are doing. Pretty soon you will be intolerant of it, too. You rock! You can do this. It is the best decision you will make for your health and others!!!!  (CLAPPPING FOR YOU)
In all fairness now - do ya smoke?
I can't figure out why you posted that you are thin and have always been thin. How is that supportive a person who would like to lose weight? I'm guess I am missing something.
Where there is smoke, there is fire...
Someone said consider the source. So let's consider the source...
You don't know her and she doesn't know you. Why would she seek you out to lie to you?
Apparently your husband does know her and was going to warn you beforehand that she might try to stir up trouble. Why would she pick your marriage to stir up trouble in? What bone of contention does she have with your husband? What is his relationship with her?
And if there is nothing to what she says as your husband suggests and that she is just trying to "stir up trouble" then why did he feel he needed to warn you?
Sounds to me like he's covering his bases. Personally, I think you husband has a lot of explaining to do and this advice of "keep quiet and take notes" is bunk. Don't be the victim. Listen to what your gut is telling you. Something smells in your situation and I bet it's coming from hubbie.
Trust me when I say, men can look their wives in the eye and lie without batting an eye and when caught in a lie, they will practically hurt themselves trying to rationalize and justify. Whatever is going on with your husband, you cannot deny that there are rumors out there that your husband feels he needs to squelch. That's troublesome by itself. Why would someone make up rumors about him?
Don't excuse him, don't treat him with kid gloves. Confront him and find the truth. You'll know it when you hear it.
Your choice is to walk through the smoke.
People are made to smoke outside the store, can't smoke inside. Smoking is not against the law. I think people with body odor/bad breath smell way worse than people smoking.
don't have a *choice* to walk through smoke--sm
if you want to get out of or into the store. If someone HAS to smoke...go to your own car where it does not infringe upon someone else's right to not have to breathe it in and contract lung cancer. Body odor and bad breath do not inflict death and are easily taken care of with personal hygiene. Second hand smoke is just plain inconsiderate of others' health, but then why would you care about that. right?
Juliet said that she knew about the smoke
monster after the fact and said that she didn't know what it was but that they were aware of it and that it didn't like the fence. I really have to stay glued to the show or I miss little things - and apparently I still miss a lot.
all LV hotels that have casino have the smoke
even in Florida - the casinos you can smoke at - at least in certain areas like the bingo.........not the dealer tables at the Seminoles but at every other casino locally in S. Florida, there is smoking allowed.....Hard Rock Resort and Casino - smoking allowed.
In Las Vegas, if there are casinos in the hotel - you will be dealing with smoke.
However, there are plenty of smokeless, casino-less places......enjoy!
Is there a way to remove cigarette smoke - sm
from something without washing it? I have a baby blanket my mom crocheted that is for a friend of mine who's expecting. Like everything in my mom's house, it has a bit of a cigarette smell, and I don't think a new mother would want to use a blanket that smells of cigarettes for a new baby! So far I've just hung it up on a hanger in the hallway at my place. (I don't smoke.) Any ideas? I thought about something like "Febreze", but that might not be good for a new baby to breathe, either.........
My mom used to smoke the "roll your owns"
If you buy your tobacco product in a can or bag you can put it in the freezer for a time and it will still be good - if you haven't opened it yet.
My DH puts his carton in the door of the freezer by the way because of the same reason.
I heard about the prices going up, but nothing has really been said about it here where I am. There are many smokers here in my part of the country. In fact, they only just passed the ban on not smoking in restaurants about a year ago here in town and are just now considering it for state wide.
machine to remove cigarette smoke?
my husband's smoking is almost intolerable to me anymore. He won't smoke outside for me. Does anyone know first-hand of a machine that effectively gets all or most of the smoke/smell out of the room being smoked in? thanks.
followup on machine to remove cig smoke
First, thanks again to those who tried to be helpful/supportive. Secondly, i may (!)have made a breakthrough this morning, Praise God!! Sparing the details, after another fit of mine over trying to eat in a 'cloud', i put it to him this way: Saying, "i've been looking into air cleaners to remove the smoke smell from the house, and they will cost from $700 to $1000. So which is it going to be -- will you quit smoking, smoke outside the house or do we invest in these expensive air cleaners? I just can't tolerate it like i used to."
I let him ponder awhile and asked again for the answer. I about fell off my feet when he said he'd try harder to quit smoking and that he might start smoking outside the house, and might even consider a prescription to help...Good Golly Miss Molly!!
Wonders truly never cease!!
I used to smoke and NEVER smoked inside the house. nm
No message.
Smoke 'sickers' through the AC, the cracks, up the pipes...
she can smell it in her apartment! It affects her also, second-hand smoke and it 'stinks!'
But:
This LL does not have a no-smoking policy.
Did you move in knowing this?
Then you cannot do anything.
You accepted the apartment 'as is.'
You can only hope that the smoking lady moves out or you move out.
Learned to smoke, drink, cut classes
Graduated in the 70s. Took dancing lessons and big big big into disco. Almost entered in the show Disco Fever. I was a little overweight, certainly not popular in the "cliques". Had friends from grammar school, scouts & 4H I hung around with (those are still my friends today). I was shy and stuttered when having to speak in front of groups (still do). I wasn't a "studier" - received mostly Cs (failed science, gym & history - or barely passed). No boyfriends. Pretty boring overall, but I'd trade everything in now and do it all again.
Anyone know how to get cigarette smoke smell out of books? I bought several
reference books and they just stink. Any ideas?
Time. That's all it takes. I took in a recliner full of smoke and a few years later sm
looks brand new and smells like my own home now. It was really bad with smoke. Same with books. It just takes time. It will eventually go away. Unfortunately, nothing I know works for that without ruining the books.
Does your husband or significant other do this? Just now, at 7:30, my husband came home from sm
playing sports with a friend. After showering he comes downstairs naked and tries to start a conversation with me. My "office" is in the living room and he is standing in back of the couch so I can't see any private parts, just him without his shirt, but I can see enough to know he clearly is naked! I think he wants me to be amused or get turned on or something, but I'm not amused one bit. In fact, I keep working and basically ignore him.
Poor guy. I swear he thinks he's Vince Vaughn or something. I should at least smile at him but all I want to tell him is to put some clothes on! ugh!
My husband is the same way
Something about guys and their cars. I have no kids though and recently married so we still do some of our banking and bills separately by my choice. I thought he was being selfish too. So I got myself a 2nd part time job and I recently went out and bought a newer, bigger, fully loaded SUV and I don't let him use it! lol
My husband and I are doing it right now
and it is working, slowly but surely. After the first couple of things are paid off, its gets better and faster. We have a poster board with all our debt and we redo it every three months, and I must say that you see the debt going away. My hubbie cut all my credit cards up, and I was upset but in the scheme of things, it was the best. We only have one income and its working. Give it a try, I think you'll be surprised that it actually does work. My friend is also doing it, and their debt is disappearing also.
My husband and I did think of it. NM
x
What is your husband's take on that? nm
x
Go for it! I met my husband .....sm
2 months after his wife died from a 3 year bout with cancer and we're very happily married.
Good luck!!!
My husband always tries, although he just
doesn't necessarily have the same taste as me. It is a hit and miss with him, but he always tries. This year we did not exchange gifts (agreed upon ahead of time) because I got a new house and he got a new truck. We concentrated on the kids. The only gripe I really have is that he doesn't do much in the way of getting me gifts from the kids on Mother's Day, and he's not much of a card person, although I am.
He helped me clean all week though, did anything I asked pretty much, cleaned up all day today, etc.
Honestly though, I do not agree with the posts below about making a list. I think that a gift should come from the heart and that some thought should be put into it. Things that I just want, I go get them myself.
My husband and I have 2
roundtrip airfare tickets for anywhere in the US. I'm looking for an all-inclusive resort (room, meals, activities), but am having a hard time finding one. Can you help me out with this? Thanks!
My husband
used this for his leg pain due to fibromyalgia but had a very bad reaction to it so was not able to continue to use it. He found a natural supplement online that has helped. Best of luck!!
So, you would be okay with your husband
nm
This is what my husband (sm)
told me last night. I really hope that isn't what is going on. I am going to talk to her again about it again today. She has a cell phone (very near and dear to her heart!) I like for her to have it, so that I know she is okay when she isn't home, but since I now know that she is still smoking, I think I have very good reason to ground her. Hence, she won't be needing the cell phone.
Thanks for the input everyone.
My husband only uses
regular lotion, but he does like to take baths sometimes. He was glad when we moved and got a garden tub so he could soak. He doesn't go out of his way to use bubbles, but he will take one with me with bubbles.
Met my first husband when I was 5, LOL - sm
First crush was Greg. I met him when I was 5. We played together at church. We started "going together" when I was 13. We got married when I was 18. We got divorced when I was 32. Tried again several times. Finally called it quits when I was 37...sigh.
Then there was Stacy....we were together for two years.
Then there is Tommy, we have been together for three years - married for two years.
My husband was the one who
donated the sperm and had it washed, the doctor performed the IUI, and nature created twins. It was a WE effort in my case.
This is your husband
If there's one person in the world you should be honest with, it's your husband. Don't lie about this, this is BIG...just explain to him your feelings and if he loves you and you love him, you can work it out and make both of you happy. But lying WILL come back to bite you in the a$$...trust me, I know...good luck!
My husband was gay
We've been divorced for a while now, but it still hurts like crazy. I don't know anyone who has been through this. Is there anyone out there who's spouse came out to them?
My husband did!
He had to have surgery because otherwise the muscles would have atrophied. Because lifting was required for his job, he was out on disability for 4 months. However, soon afterward a radiologist I knew had it done, and he only took 1 day off and then was back at work, not complaining, and not taking strong pain killers. My hubby is a big guy, and it was hard on him, but he's able to work fine now. He has also had cervical spinal fusion, and the rotator cuff was worse for him, oddly enough.
Husband and I have dog and cat instead!
Kids...no thank you! Decided at around 12-13 or so that I didn't want any. I'm 30 now and haven't changed my mind and don't plan to.
I AM SO MAD AT HUSBAND
I am so mad with this man. Last night he made a comment that all I have to do on my job is sit on my A_ _ and stare at a computer screen. He thinks this job is cushy. I transcribe every foreign doctor known to man for 8-10 hours 5-6 days a week, achieve OVER my line counts and bring home more money than he does and I work from home. What in the world does he think gives him the right to talk down to me? Even though I love it, this is one of the most taxing jobs I have ever had in my life. The mental drain is incomprehensible at times. I was so mad when he came up with that, I would have thrown him out if he would have had anywhere else to go!
mad at husband
Do what I do..i put him in my chair with my own keyboard, a set of headphones and told him i would be back in 30 minutes. And I gave him one of my best enunciating docs to boot. Needless to say....no more sit on my a** comments any more. I put the son in the chair too. Good luck.
Which one, the husband or dog?
He, he!
What do you do when your husband says
He does not love you anymore after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids? He left once about 3 years ago, but came back saying he missed us and loved me and that he was just going through a tough time and he knew he was making a bad choice. I thought we were okay, not smart of me, then he started getting distant and grumpy all the time again, and he told me last night that he tried really hard these last 3 years, mostly for our kids sake and because he cares about me and does not want to leave me high and dry, but he does not love me and is not happy with me. He says we have nothing in common anymore, which we really didn't in the first place, but it was okay until recently.
I don't know what to do. All 3 kids are extremely close to their dad, and he loves them so much, but I feel I should move to where my parents are (next town 20 miles away) but it will be harder for him to see them and also rent is so much higher for housing there. I just feel like I want to be closer to my family because here, I have NO ONE. I moved here because it was his hometown and he was happy. I also have the kids in preschool here, again cheaper than in the town I want to go to. My son will be in first grade and needs speech therapy for developmental delay and I like the people who have been working with him as they know his history. Am I being selfish wanting to take them away from here? I am lost and don't know what to do. Thanks for listening. 
What do you do when husband...
Ditto totally trose. Permanently CLOSE his door except when dealing with/talking about children. Work hard at your job, totally concentrate on YOUR life and family. God is your refuge..will keep you safe and won't lead you wrong. You are strong (else you wouldn't be an mtmomof3) ... you can do this. Will remember you in my prayers.
husband
he sounds like a pig... i say move on
My husband will be right over! LOL!
xx
Is my husband
Because I think we are married to the same guy. Here's my rule: I don't tell him everything, but when asked, I tell the truth. Except when I buy my son an $80 pair of shoes, I shave a few bucks off. Other than that I tell the truth. I know how you feel though. When he comes home if I hear squealing tires on the driveway or the door slams just right, I think, "Uh-oh. What did I do now?"
Is there anyone who has a husband...
like mine...he is an adult and acts like one, he respects what I do for a living, thanks me for working as hard as I do, would never expect me to do everything around the house without him helping out, and is generally a fabulous guy. Sounds like a lot of women are married to self-centered whiners who think THEIR job is the important one. I truly am blessed!
My husband...
I was going to post something similar to this...reading these threads about jerk husbands makes me sooo very grateful for mine. He's handsome, sexy, funny...works doggone hard for us so I can work PT, and still helps around the house in the evenings after work. Guess that's why I've kept him for 20 years---today!!! 
Oh, did I mention he's the bestest dad ever (as our DS puts it)...I could go on and on, but I won't...I am sorry for those who are not blessed with a wonderful man, it truly is a gift!
why the MIL and not your husband?
You are going after the wrong person. Your husband should be beside you all the way 100%. It is his job to talk/deal with his family. If he doesn't or won't, you've got a bigger problem with him than with the outlaws.
Your husband should say something
You are to cleave to husband and wife. If the MIL is not going to handle the situation your husband should definately stand up for you and say if you dont show some respect to my wife stay away. I have a SIL that does not like me either because she married into the family first and thinks I stole some of her thunder, but thank goodness my husband stands up for me. The MIL probably wants to keep peace that is how mine is, so I would talk to your husband about getting the situation resolved. Some people can be so dumb to act that way. Good luck, hope things get better.
What did your husband say about it?
xx
ex-husband
Well, Pammy,
I think you would fit right in with me and my friends' "board." We meet once a week and "discuss things." We all share the blessing of an ex-husband except one. Maybe ex is just so blissfully happy he forgot to tell you, or maybe he is just TOO CHICKEN - you think. In any case, the "board" meets tomorrow night. I'll be thinking of you.
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