My hubby does this work also and says it is the most difficult
Posted By: sm on 2007-06-02
In Reply to: I AM SO MAD AT HUSBAND - kittytoes
job he has ever done. No - it is not physical - you are not outside in the element - but it is draining. I agree with others - put headphones on him and make him sit at your desk - just make him type a paragraph - I guarantee he will change his tune - so sorry - don't let him get to you - he obviously does not appreciate you
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i also work for 2 PS..and it's a difficult surgery
and my plastic surgeons dictate the risks in detail of a brachioplasty and they also have their patients speak with other patients who have had the surgery....I have always wanted to have upper arm lifts but after working for these particular 2 docs (among many others) for 11+ years, I think not!! I would also think a *re-do* would leave even more scars/dents.......
How does everyone deal with difficult, and I mean extremely difficult, people. sm
I'm not even talking about family members. Just people in general. Especially the ones who are so kind to your face but you know clearly don't like you one bit. I have a few of those in my life. UGH! And I'm so kind that it eats me up inside, but I won't dare say anything to their faces. I just come on public forums like this anonymously and vent my anger and frustration!!
I met with someone today who told me to "love them," and feed into them and show them that you are not this vile person they make you out to be. How do you do that? I'm learning that people, especially women, are just impossible to deal with. And I'm a woman!!!
Just tell your hubby the guy at work is gay.
My hubby is the jealous type too. I am pretty flirty but would NEVER cheat on him. I would just tell him he's gay.
That is hysterical. Do the guys who work with your hubby
Similar situation, my hubby drives 1 hr 45 mins to work from house and sm
he suggested 2 nights a week staying at a hotel that his company would pay for if the company apartment was full. I say company apartment "lightly" as it is a room above the office and just has bed, AC window unit. At first I was hesitant but then I drove it one way in the morning and again in 5 o'clock traffic and said you must be nuts! He gets up at 4:30 am to be at work by 6:30.
Rainy, cool, dark. Home working with plenty of work. Hubby and kids are sm
picking up toys, taking them to Goodwill. LOVE days like this.
That's quite difficult (sm)
The title of your post said "preaching." How do we know what your post is about so that we may avoid the religious posts as you suggested? In the title of your post, are you simply using a one-word paraphrase of the post you are responding to or are you, in fact, preaching? The only way to know is to open your post. Once opened, it's another preachy post.
To each their own!
difficult because
My 15 year old son. Everything he wants is over $200.00. But I don't buy him anything of that techno stuff, so I have to get pretty far out there and hope he loves me enough to considering it a good Christmas present anyway.
Thanks. It's been difficult but
I am now pregnant again and although I will always struggle with the loss, I have happier times to look forward to now and try not to dwell on the past.
I don't think she really meant it that way but its exactly what she did. I was more taken aback by the feeling that she still thinks it was the right thing to do, no regrets, etc. I understand life being in a difficult place and safety was an issue for her and the baby. But to justify the decision because of where her life was at the time, I don't agree. She made those decisions (good and bad) all on her own. To some extent this was a major factor for her to decide to change her life in many ways and follow a different (much better) path.
Need help with difficult child
I have 3 children, ages 11, 8 and 5. My 8-year-old has always been a difficult child, starting in early infancy. He was always fussy and became quite stubborn during his toddler years. He is now 8 years old and I really have my hands full. He can get quite mouthy with his father and me (married and live together) and has even got physical with me. He has always been physical towards his brothers and is always fighting with them. He has given his teachers a hard time as well as my parents, who spend a lot of time with him.
One time when I was driving up the highway 55 mph, he became very upset (can't remember over what now) and actually slid the van door open to jump out. I realize the child lock should have been on but wasn't due to adult passengers that weekend (is always on now). He becomes so angry so quickly, and I'm really very scared for him.
I have tried several tactics for discipline/help in this situation and nothing seems to work. Some things are short-lived results, others no result at all. We have tried rewards charts, timeouts, loss of privileges, spanking (very short-lived and didn't work anyway) as well as professional counseling with a child psychologist.
The child psychologist spent about 3 months of weekly to every-other-week sessions with my son and wasn't able to give me any insight as to why he is so angry. He indicated to me that my child definitely showed signs of anger through his drawings and behaviors, but he wasn't able to get any clear reason for it. He also seemed to be not so interested in what was causing the problem as he was in dealing with it. My take on it is that I need to know what I'm dealing with before I can begin to fix the problem.
My child has never been abused or traumatized. My parents and sister have been the only caregivers, other than myself and my husband, to care for him. My 2 other children behave fairly well. I can't understand what's going on with my son. I've tried to talk to him about it, but I can't get any answers.
I'm beginning to think he has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or possibly bipolar disorder. His mood swings are so severe, I never know what to expect. What really has me jammed up is that when it's just me and him or just him and his dad and he's getting all the attention, he's pretty much great. Therefore, I know he's capable of good behavior.
Has anyone else ever had a child act like this? Any ideas or suggestions? Please don't bash me, my nerves are on end already. I know I need to get this situation under control before it gets any worse. I just don't know where to turn anymore. My mom says *tough love*, but I've tried that with him and it doesn't seem to have any effect on him. Once when he really misbehaved, I put him in his room and took out all the toys and knick-knacks, so there was nothing but his bed and dressing in there. I put a door lock on the closet and shut the door. When I came back to check on him about 1/2 later, I found him lying on the floor and he had unscrewed all the knobs on his dresser. He was only 5 at the time. It's like he's trying to get even with me for something I didn't know I did to him.
Difficult child
I feel for you mom, I can't imagine! My 2 boys are pretty good, I got lucky. It sounds to me like, if he can behave for OTHER people, than it might not be a disorder. My cousin had a kid like that. If I were you, I would DEFINATELY get a 2nd opinion, it doesn't s/l the 1st person was very helpful at all. You don't just give up (not you personally, the therapist) on a child and say "I don't know why he's like that!" He should have referred you to someone else. I would see what the 2nd therapist says, and go from there. You need to find one that is willing to work with you and your child, someone you and your boy are comfortable with, who will answer your questions and not give up on you, etc. If all else fails, there is always Dr. Phil...Good luck and keep us posted!
it will be a difficult conversation obviously
At 12 and 14 they are plenty old enough to be told the absolute truth. Let them have some time to process it, and then take them for a visit.
They like to make it difficult.
And you can't do it online. So call customer service, and just say no. The service rep is trained to make various offers to get you to change your mind. Just say NO, and ask for a supervisor if you have to. You're going to have to say NO more than once, but it's your money, and you have every right to keep it in your pocket rather than give it to them.
It would be pretty difficult for me because
I was raised on a farm. As long as my parents are living, I imagine I will eat meat whenever they visit. Recently, at home my immediate family has been doing without meat, but we eat meat if we go out to eat. I think it is very healthy to go without meat, but I also think eating a little meat is perfectly healthy too. I am a little concerned about mistreatment of animals and people in factory farming/packing, so I like to eat at Chipotles and buy cage-free eggs.
Adults need one, too. Imagine how difficult it is
for parents who feel the guilt/burden of knowing they cannot provide a Christmas for their babies. I've been there. I know how it feels.
One of my resolutions for 2007 is to pay a set percentage of my gross income to a dedicated cause locally. I'm not sure yet whether I will work with the light/water company to provide assistance for those on shut-off notices (they seem to have less options than anyone else) or help provide transportation to/from doctor visits for elderly/handicapped individuals, but I am going to do something.
It's not difficult either to refuse to consume
garbage posing as information.
Your choice.
I would totally ignore them. Difficult as it is
if you do not give them a moment of attention or let them know you are offended - they will eventually stop. Why play their game - stoop to their level? Then they have won
If you came out in 1975, that had to be extremely difficult - sm
for you. I know that had to take a lot of courage and strength on your part. Good for you.
I can never put myself in someone else's shoes but I can speak as a mother and a friend. The stigma that goes with the word "gay" needs to just disappear. It's getting better but has a long way to go.
When my son came out, I explained to him that like anything else outside the "normal" is going to take some time for people to really accept. Fortunately, there are many people who already do accept the lifestyle, even if isn't one they share.
We accept it because we love the people for who they are, not how they live.
Good for you. No condemnation from me.
Hi, it is difficult to restore shine when it is gone, but...sm
" Eventually, no matter how diligent you are about cleaning, your no-wax
floor will lose its shine. Then, believe it or not, the best way to
make it new-looking is to wax it.
Use a water-based self-polishing
wax.
Whenever possible use a product recommended by the manufacturer.
If you don't know who the manufacturer is, get a recommendation from a
reputable flooring contractor in your area.
I agree with this poster's mother - it is difficult
Things have changed a lot and obviously it is easier now than it was when I did it (dated someone from a different race)- but there are sometimes huge cultural differences, not only in different races but in same race from very different parts of the country. A lot of traditions that you find important - someone very culturally different (same for religion for that matter) may not. You have to be thick skinned and very committed. A good partner is hard to find.
Is it difficult to blend or get the hang of applying it? NM
NM
Who's the most difficult person(s) you have to buy gifts for at Christmas?
I'd have to say my mom, because if there's something she wants, she buys it herself.
This IS the absolute best way to deal with difficult people.
Unfortunately, this is the way that I have to deal with my own mother. I never tell her anything, or she broadcasts it to the world, twists information, gossips and criticizes. After about 40 years of it, I finally just stopped giving her any information about what goes on in my life, except for the very basic, surface type things. Ironically, my aunt advised me to do this, and said that most of the family has to do the very same thing!
Just bought a Kodak digital camera without optical viewer and find the LCD screen is very difficult
to see what you are taking in bright sunlight. I just read on the internet this happens with many cameras. Any suggestions for this. I dont want to spend tons of money on a camera because I dont use them that often but I am not very happy with this. I tried to get a camera with the optical viewer but almost none of them except the really high end had this. A lot of people complain about this LCD washout. Just wondered if there is any fix for this without getting another camera. This is a Kodak Easyshare. Great in cloudy weather or inside but the sun is another story. 
Yes - does not work! Hoax if you ask me. MetaboLife doesn't work either.
The only thing that works for me is exercise and eating correctly! No quick fix, unfortunately.
Difficult based on taste, easy based on ethics.
I was a vegetarian for 10 years, then a vegan for about 5 before meeting my husband, i.e. Mr. Barbecue. He thinks he will die of starvation if he doesn't have some form of animal flesh on his plate at least twice daily. I do eat meat minimally now but not without guilt about the way the animal was raised and slaughtered. I don't believe meat is healthy either, esp. because of the hormones, antibiotics and unnatural feed commercial livestock receives. I have free-range chickens and use their eggs, and I buy raw milk from a local small farmer whose cows graze freely on organic grass. I am working my way back to a meat-free diet in spite of my DH. Can't wait to shed the 20 pounds of animal-fat blubber I've accumulated and get my cholesterol level back down to where it used to be! You just have to give peas a chance.
Teens!! -- Difficult times for teens and parents. (sm)
You must feel as though you are at your wits' end -- just don't let your son know that. I encourage you to continue to practice assertiveness/"tough love." Do not argue with him; give him a couple of choices when situations arise. Don't allow him to be disrespectful.
It sounds as though your son needs attention. His negative drug test was a "positive"; praise him!!!
.Smile every time he walks into the room.
.Every day find something positive and praise him often for even the smallest thing.
.Everyone has talent(s); what's you son's interests. Show him you are interested.
.Consider Big Brother/Big Sister (maybe a retired teacher will be available)/the "Y."
.Chores/responsibilities -- mowing lawns (earning spending money), assisting at a local nursery, household chores. Keep him busy!!!
.Have him plan/prepare a meal and invite a friend for dinner/movie.
.Watch a movie together.
.Play a little basketball together (my favorite!).
.Attend church together!!
May God bless your home!!
You dont work for them, you work for YOU. If you
x
I TRIED to work, WANTED to work, but
So now I have to scramble for the rest of the week, trying to catch up on what I didn't do today. And of course, working today was in hopes of catching up on whatI didn't do last week. This job is a never-ending hamster-wheel of lunacy.
My ex-hubby had it done.
He wasn't too keen on the idea either. He confided later that it was goofy stuff that bothered him--like what happens if there's an earthquake while he's on the table?
Anyway, he was tender for a day or two, but some Tylenol took care of it.
Actually I ended up having a tubal ligation done after we split up. That was pretty easy, too. They did it with a laparoscope, and used silicone squeeze clips on the tubes rather than cutting them. Easy peasy.
My hubby had one at about 46.
DH had anterior cervical laminectomy 2-3 years ago.
It was scary for me, and it was the only time they kept him overnight. They sent him home after rotator cuff and (of course) knee arthroscopy. The bad thing about Friday surgery is that the office isn't open if you have a question that doesn't seem like enough of an emergency to call about. They made DH a hard cervical collar ahead of time. Be sure they give you 2 sets of the cushion inserts for the collar, because you will want to be able to wash and air-dry one, but not have her without one. Do ask about whether she is to sleep with the collar on. Because DH had a plate put in, after the fact we were told that supposedly the collar was just to remind him to be careful, but he was sleeping with it on for about a week, I guess. Getting up and down out of bed was scary, especially because he wanted to sleep on his side. Very scary to get into that position, but once he was in it he could finally sleep. I was appalled how apneic he sounded at night. He always has a little problem, but with the collar on he was having pretty long pauses. He is a big guy and at risk for that anyway. The scariest thing for me when DH had this and the shoulder surgery is that he is 6 foot 2 inches and big. Me? 5 foot 6 inches and average weight. Thank goodness his mom was there for the shoulder surgery, but I think we did it alone for the neck surgery AFTER he stayed one night in the hospital. Oh, and because of the anterior approach, swallowing was hard for quite a while. Speech also was affected, maybe it was with hoarseness? Can't remember. Due to swelling, his throat was not totally normal again for 6 months after surgery.
You might rather be fat but my hubby
cooked some brown rice yesterday with garlic, red and green peppers, Kokoman sauce and other ingredients he just throws together. This was along with some turkey wings with a sauce that I spooned on the rice and cabbage with peppercorns. I cannot find a restaurant that can come close to his cooking. He never tastes and always hopes that I like it. I am 1 lucky girl. He is very mindful of eating healthy and we very seldom have red meat, once in a great while but his lemon chickens, marinated meats and other things make me really disappointed to eat out and then have inferior food. He says I can do the same. No thanks..... I will not shame myself. When he is gone from home (he drives and away) he fixes salads with his own dressings and OMG, I am just sitting here with a smile on my face. I am sure no one can compare with his foods!!
Hubby
I wonder if he is not looking. One of my daughter’s friends is having a birthday party Sunday. His mother drove by our house to drop off an invitation. We both talked for a while. She is a really an attractive lady. She looks like she could probably model swimsuits. Anyway, she had invited me to go jogging with her because I mentioned I was interested in getting into an exercise program. I am 60 pounds overweight. I also mentioned job burnout and told her I had been thinking about getting out of MT and the medical profession totally and going into something else. She told me that there maybe some job openings at the company she works at because they are expanding. She is also the supervisor of the collections/credit department there and told me of all the wonder benefits the company offers and told me that if I decided I wanted a change, she would put in a good word for me. Later I told H that she was nice. DH said, “I think she wants me (him)” I told him he was full of himself. Bad part is, 8 years ago I would have been jealous but now if he did run off with someone else, I think the sweetest revenge for me would be to let the woman keep him and give her full custody of MIL.
hubby
May be you 2 need to spice things up again. Like go out on dates, etc... It sounds like alot of your gyn issues could be effecting the way you look at sex. I would definitely talk to someone about it. May be there is a pill you can take!! :)
My hubby had 1 and did not like
He is a really neat guy and took so much time just cleaning after 1 use. I know some just use time and time again without cleaning but that is just not him, wants his spic and span each and every time.
I have used, my hubby believe it or not
was able to pull off an entire hair 1 time like that. It is really good for sparse hair and it does cover, comes in all colors and different sizes. He was going to a hatless place (because of his hair loss, he wears his hat all the time) but used that day and no one knew. Great stuff!
What would I do without hubby.
I feel guilty, but I didn't think I'd still be working at this age. My mom was a housewife, even though she had a college degree.
ex-hubby
That's funny - I did the same thing, although my son had NO contact with his father from the time he was 3. When he was getting married, (at 26), I asked him if he wanted me to contact his father. He said his "real" father would be there (my now husband who raised him) and that he didn't want some guy who with one squirt was labeled his "father" to be part of his life.
Afterwards, when he called and wanted to contact my son, I got his phone # and told him I'd have my son contact him if he wanted to. My son wouldn't even let me give him the phone #. Another bunch of time went by and he called again - how he keeps getting my phone number is behond me - first he found me in Connecticut, then Colorado and then Texas (he's in NY). This time he accused me of not giving his phone # to my son and I said I tried, but he didn't want it. He didn't believe me, of course, but I then got rid of my regular phone and got Vonage and I haven't heard from him since. But Ive never been sorry that it worked out this way. Serves him right for being a lousy father.
hubby
ONe thing i have learned is men ALWAYS think it is greener on the other side and come crying back because its not. So what if you have gained weight I am sure he has to. Do you believe he is being faithful to you? Maybe this is his way of feeling guilty for something he did while traveling. Try counseling. It worked for us. We all need to leave our hubbys for a week with the kids and ALL our jobs and let them see how tuff it really is. They feel since we work at home we have the freedom to do everything with time left over!! COME ON! I wish you lots of luck. I would tell him if you really loved me you would deal with me the way that I am. Yes I can try to change but is that really the root of the problem here. Sounds like an excuse! Sorry, but being organized and gaining weight should have nothing to do with if he still loves you or not. Tell him didn't he take the same vows as you did "Till death do us part"
My hubby is
incredibly wonderful. We will be married 20 years in October. We renewed our vows at 10 years (Just the 2 of us at a small chapel, well of corse a minister) and for 20 years the children want to be with us. There is a running joke in my family....My parents say that if we ever divorce, he can come "home".
hubby
ago and demanded my husband see his doctor. He went on Prozac and things were oh, so much better for a long, long time. Now he is off the Prozac, as he was tired of the side effects. We are back to the same crap as before, and I am so weary of it. I don't know what to do. I'm praying for wisdom. He just seems like he hates us all, that we are nothing but a pain in the a$$, and we all tread lightly because of his garbage. Unfair. Hugs to you.
That's where I'm from too, and hubby
was born in WV, but his dad moved them to Indiana when my hubby was very little. DH's dad was the first one in the family not to be a coal miner.
Hubby is a big packer fan, which sure makes my dad happy. The Packers are the only team I'll watch. Brett is adorable. I'm glad he has a super wife (since I can't have him :o>).
your hubby
I feel for you... and the signs seem pretty classic from here suggesting that he most likely has another lady. Cell phones may not work "out there" but somewhere along the way he eats, drinks, sleeps, etc and there are pay phones if nothing else. Your acceptance of his excuses give him the room to do as he pleases and his beating you down keeps you from thinking straight/catching him in his own game. Sounds like you need to dry those eyes and open them to take a good look at reality - then deal. It hurts and bites, but until you deal, nothing changes. If you really want to teach your kids about better relationships, show them the strength to stand for what is true and right.
How old is your hubby?
Mine's in his mid 50s. We had the same problem. Doc took a blood test and found very, very low testosterone, put him on replacement, and a month later he's got energy again! not just for sex, either, but work, yard work, repairs. Wonderful stuff, that, if it's used right!
My hubby and I...
still have long, passionate kisses...our kids complain all the time about it...*Geez Mom, Dad...that's sooo gross* We are always touching when we are together, whether it's holding hands, arms around each other, or just my/his hand on his/my leg...you have to keep the fire going or it will most certainly fade!
your hubby/his son
Just wondering what kind of "help" you were asking for from your FIL?
I know you were frustrated but just because he had not yet gotten hold of you doesn't mean he wasn't working something out to be able to help his son.
I remember once my aunt wrote a letter to my grandpa about how she thought he showed a preference for her brother and how upset she was about it. (She had seen her brother at my grandparents' house on a holiday and was so resentful that she had not also been invited.) My grandpa was so hurt by the letter. My aunt had assumed something happened that did not (the brother had just dropped by for an impromptu visit). She let her emotions carry her away, and really hurt her father.
It sounds like part of you might be blaming your FIL for your husband's behavior. That's not good. Your husband has to take full responsibility for his actions and you need to stop making excuses. I have a bipolar brother. He has been battling his problem for 15 years. Sometimes he tries to take his medications and make progress in his life and sometimes he sits and whines about how bad off things are and wants everybody to cater to him. Guess when he gets the best response from his family? Even though your husband has a mental illness, he is still responsible for getting treatment and not making the lives of everyone around him miserable.
If your FIL wants to help his other son, whether or not you think the guy should be hung from the highest tree or not, that is your FIL's decision.
Hubby and I do EVERYTHING sm
around here including remodeling. The only thing I hire out is twice a year I have someone come in and do the heavy spring cleaning because I have some medical problems that keep me from doing it. I can type three hours and pay for it. Matter of fact tomorrow is the day! YEAH.
I would love to be able to afford someone to do alot more of it but can't and hubby wouldn't let somebody else do it if we could afford it! Too picky!
I have been with hubby 23 years....
and you have got to love them for trying, not that their timing is the best. Mine I would have just looked at him, laughed and said "find something better to do at the moment" and then tackle him later. I think they just like a little extra attention. LOL
Hugs to you and your hubby!!
My best friend had a miscarriage in 1994 and she still gets a little emotional when she talks about, even though she went on to have 2 healthy daughters.
Is your hubby active?
What I mean is he involved in outside interests clubs,volunteer ,maybe a hobby? I know a lot of yall here are still working fulltime, but there will come that day when you and hubby will be together all day side by side!! just wish mine would find an outside interest but he finds something wrong with any suggestion so I have quit saying anything he loves to stay at home.
Hubby obviously has issues
That the two of you can work on/out at a time that is much less stressful, so when situations occur, you're prepared.
If it had been me, at the moment he started screaming and yelling, I would have taken the kids and left the house. I would not have exposed my kids to all that anger, and making excuses for him doesn't make it all right. Yelling at you and the kids is abuse. If he wants to rant and rave by golly, he can do it by himself.
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