My heart goes out to all of you who have lost children (sm)
Posted By: Topaz on 2007-11-29
In Reply to: My mother never got over the loss of her son, never - Lana
Your stories probably inspire others to go on.
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My children lost their father when they were 8,4,3
It is a very tough position to be put in as a parent. My advice for the adults is do not drag these children into what should be adult grief. Several members of my kids' father's family tried to do this to them. They are children and are resilient just the way God made them and thankfully for them! They have a right to live happily and without guilt because they are happy. I'm not saying your family will do this, but on top of everything else, it was hard to watch this being done to my children. I am very sorry for their loss and the loss to your family.
My heart goes out to you and your children - I wish I had some really good advice to give you; I
understand your situation. I remember as a child how my mom would exhibit similar behavior, especially when she did not get her "way". I will never forget how it made me feel, and to this day I personally despise those who use manipulative destructive behavior to get whatever they think they want from others. For the sake of your sanity and that of your children - please find the strength to get this man out of your life. Children are very perceptive, even when we are doing our level best to protect them from situations such as this. God has not forsaken you or your children and neither have the majority of us on this board. I don't want to come across as being sappy but even though I don't know you, I love you because you are my sister in the eyes of God, and I will be praying for you and your children. You are all your children have and you are much stronger than you realize. I wish you peace and prayer in this troubling time in your life.
Good grief, lost of people get married and don't have children nm
Z
Time for a long, uninterrupted heart to heart. Sorry to hear
s
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
I think that is entirely up to you. I wish I had followed my heart on that one - sm.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I worked in a hospital and my co-workers kept telling me don't tell anybody until you know for sure nothing is going to happen and until you start to show. Then everyone said to not buy anything for the baby until you are past 6 months. For the record, I NEVER did start to show, my baby was born at 27 weeks. I bought my baby bed on Friday, and he was born on Sunday. He lived 3 weeks and 6 days. Since his death, I went on to have three more children, and I told the whole world as soon as I knew, and we celebrated from day one. So....please follow your heart.
More so than heart, seems to be
the ribs. I am gonna tell them they have to get to the bottom. Just pain medicine alone not doing it.
My heart goes out to you
and your daughter. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes, as right now my first cat I ever had is suffering from cancer. She is getting so skinny and I know it won't be long before we have to put her down. It makes me cry every time I look at her. She had surgery, but the cancer is already back, so there's nothing else to do for her. That has to be the worst thing about having pets, having to say goodbye. Just keep the memories in your heart and know that you gave her a wonderful life.
If I lost say 60-80 lbs
I would be so full of attitude even my hubby probably not able to get to first base with me! Nah, just kidding. I also need to lose that much, just gonna have to do it it seems.
lost
Note - next week is 2 hours. Starting at 9.
Yes - they said the woman who parachuted was with an expedition that Penny sent.
Locke really appears to be dead.
lost - and am I!
I don't really know how I feel about the fast forward - but of course there is something wrong there because he said "call my father" and we know his father was dead before he hit the island. Why didn't Charlie hold his breath and swim up through the port hole? Whose funeral did no one want to attend?
Thank you, and my heart wants
to bring in another, but the timing isn't right with me in school and expenses tight after all the vet bills. Besides, Sasha seems to enjoy being the center of attention. I'm thankful we still have her.
we lost one of THE BEST!!! nm
x
LOST! (nm)
.
my heart goes out to you.
What it means (IMO) is at the least that he has a short fuse, no control of his tongue and not much opinion of himself. Its probably hard for him to hold you or anyone one else in high esteem because he thinks so little of himself. There's no doubt more at play too, but this behavior doesn't mean he hates you. I've been in this similar environment. Learn to love and respect yourself enough that those kind of comments don't devastate you. It takes time and effort. A person of this kind needs to change from the inside out. How long have you been married? I can't help but wonder if there is anything spiritual that you share with him. You can't change him, so concentrate on what you can change (yourself, your means of coping, how you treat your job, relationship etc). It's hard not to be depressed in these situations. I'm sorry he hasn't learned to appreciate you. Stay safe. There are people who care about you! e/m me if you like.
I am so very sorry, my heart is with you.
Sending all kinds of warm fuzzies to you. So sorry this is happening and you have to go through it. Please do one thing. Look in the phone book when he is around BTW for the local domestic violence hotline. It is an 800 number, it is confidential, and you don't even have to give your name. Tell them these stories. They are open 24/7 just to listen. They will make you feel better. Also, please make sure you are safe. Keep a cell phone with you at all times, and your important papers and the childrens' all in one place in case you need them. Do not let him know any of this at all. Also if you don't have your own bank account open one just for you and the children. Dont let him know. Also, please have a safe place to go. The hotline will describe all these things to you. They also will suggest a local center you can go just to talk someone, as often as you would like to go for free. He does not have to know that either. I am not saying this so that you should be secretive. I am saying so that it will not trigger his anger and the circle of control. Like I said, stay safe, call that hotline ASAP and listen to them and the outpatient counselor. I have been through it. You need people to love you and make you feel worthwhile again and soon you will have the strength to see why this is happening and how to stop it. Please call them and let us know here you are okay.
My heart goes out to you . .
and your husband. Best to get professional care as soon as possible. Get to the PCP and then a thorough workup and mental assessment. This could be any number of things - stress, a medical condition, a mental condition. Just the other day I read something that was fascinating. I read about a woman who was having trouble with her husband who was 60. His behavior was getting odd, and strange. After much workup he was diagnosed as having Asperger's, this coming after a full functioning life. I found this quite interesting. Get help and keep us posted. You are in my prayers.
My heart goes out to you.
They give such unconditional love, even those moody cats darn it! So sorry about Sixer. :(
lost ours . . .
Four years ago both of them at the same time. We still have their son . . it was just heart retching. My husband and I actually cried harder than the kids . . . isn't that crazy???? We were devastated.
I did WW for about 2.5 yrs and lost 72 lbs! sm
It works but you need to stick with it. Don't get discouraged on the weeks you do not lose weight; it is also not "a diet" but a lifestyle change. Do try to find some fruit/veg that you enjoy; the fiber definitely helps you feel full and lose. Low sodium V8 is a good 1 pt or 0 pt option to get in 1-2 servings of veg daily. Eat a piece of fruit for your snack. I found that I really began enjoying fruit-veg after a while. Get active, drink water and give it a chance - WW does work well and nothing is off limits.
Gee, I think I should rejoin! Good luck.
I had lost about 30%. in my IRA. My
broker put my money into some type of annuity where I am guaranteed not to LOSE any more money for the next year. If on my anniversary date I am below my original balance, I retain that balance. If I have acutally made a little, I do get that and then am guaranteed that amount until my next anniversary date where the same scenario occurs. It is in lower-making funds, but at least I can't lose any more.
My heart goes out to you.
It sure sounds like you are doing the best you can do. This economy right now is the pits, and it makes everything so much harder. Have you checked to see if any medical insurance is available through your state? Here in my state, Washington, we have an insurance program that you can qualify for if you meet income guidelines. I would sure check into that. If you don't keep your health, then you will have a much worse situation than you have now.
My heart really goes out to you...
When my 2nd son was in school, he was misdiagnosed with a learning disability and placed in an inappropriate classroom. I know what you are going through there.
Do you live in the South? The reason I ask is because my kids were all born and raised until early teens in New England. They had wonderful schools and understood ADD (which is what my son has). He was not put into a special classroom, he was just taken out occasionally for extra help. Nobody he was in class with knew where he went or what his "diagnosis" was.
Then my husband was transferred to Florida and what a HUGE difference in schools! The people in Florida, just wanted to label my son and put him in exclusive "special ed" classes only! There is nothing wrong with my son other than he has short term memory problems. But this school system created more problems for him than you can imagine! He was devastated and has really never been the same since that horrible experience.
My 3rd son has ADHD and when we moved to Texas a few years later, he had an even WORSE experience. Not only did they label him, but the teachers openly taunted him in class. He got "written up" for typical childish behavior, nothing out of the ordinary, they just stayed on his back constantly. They treated him like he was retarded.
I wish they could see him now - he is ready to graduate in May at the top of his class. He has completed 4 years of the Air Force junior ROTC and has already been accepted into a very difficult school to get into. I would just love to go back and show them how he turned out - in spite of their labels.
I don't think your school district can prohibit you from accompanying your child to school if you want to. I don't think that's legal, but I would check into it.
Good luck to you and if you just need someone to talk to who has been through the same things, feel free to e-mail me.
My heart goes out to you
I cannot imagine surviving through what you just described. Joel was very lucky to have such loving parents who obviously did everything within their power for him.
~Blessed Be~
Lost coat
If it were me, I would be angry as heck at my 8 yo for not being responsible for her things. Forgot that someone might have taken it, the child was irresponisble. At 8, she should know better than to leave her things behind. Too bad, so sad, no coat, maybe she'll remember her things next time when she has no coat because she's cold. Learning life lessons are tough and 8 is really old enough to take responsibility.
Just another perspective.
lost coat
Maybe she actually left it at school or someplace other than dance, but is certain in her mind that she last had it at dance. You could be looking in the wrong place. I don't ever trust my memory on things like this because when life is really hectic (whose life with kids is not hectic?), sometimes events run together in my mind. Maybe her coat is at school in the lost and found or in the back of the van under a seat, etc. Just a thought. 
Lost Coat
You bet!! Unless shehad the money to purchase another one. She left it, so it got stolen. If it was grabbed off her back and stolen, that would be another story.
Kids can be kids, but they have to learn responsibility some time. It's the parents that don't teach it that are having issues with their kids. Mine learned early and often that their actions have repercussions, good and bad ones. And they learn from them.
For example, 15 yo daughter is a competitive dancer. When she was probably 10 or so, she goes to a competition and forgets to pack a tutu that she needs for one of her numbers. Do I got back and get it? Nope. Her responsibility and she had to expain to the others in her group that it was at home. Did she ever forget her tutu again? Nope. It usually only takes one time.
We need to be parents, not friends and teach them to live and survive in the world. It is never too young to learn. My 4 yo knows that if she walks out the door without her lunchbox for school that she doesn't have lunch. How many times did this happen? Exactly once. Kids are smarter than you think they are.
home is where your heart is
Home has always been Texas but almost seven years ago I married a wonderful man and my children and I moved away to the Northwest to make a "home" with him. I went home as often as I could to see my ailing grandmother who raised me. As much as I tried I just could never seen to feel at home here but life as it is my beloved grandmother passed away and Texas no longer was the home I longed for I was happy here with my family and this last year I gave birth to a beautiful little boy and ever since I have felt this inexplicable need to take him home, home to my grandmothers house (someone elses home now) and to feed the ducks in the park like she did so many times with me growing up. So this year I am taking my baby ??home?? to plant roses at my grandmothers grave like I did so many times in her yard and bring home some roses from her yard my mother was kind enough to save for me when they sold her home. So that I can plant them in my yard and create a special place to sit with my little one and tell him stories of my childhood and of the special angel he has to watch over him as he grows up. So where is home???? Home for me has always been in my grandmothers embrace and I thank god each day that I was so blessed to know such love and pray that he will guide me in being the same kind of mother to my children and hopefully they feel (or will feel) about me the way I do about her. So this CHRISTMAS tell those dear to you how much you love them. Merry Christmas
She was either drunk or lost a bet - sm
what a total freak, what woman would shave her head unless she absolutely had too (like a bad attack of lice, which I highly doubt was her problem). It will take quite a few years to grow back long again, oh well, guess that is her problem (s).
I know deep down in my heart that this is wha I WANT to do. But, I'm not sure sm
how difficult it would be to get back into MTing/QAing after a year or so. It took me a long time to get the job I have now (QAing/MTing).
Thanks for your input! Will keep everyone posted. I hate doing QA right now and typing!......ha
I lost 123 pounds (sm)
I am down to 112 pounds. All my skin, including my face skin, bounced back really well. I do have a little loose skin on my thighs but not so much that I can't wear shorts. My belly looks like I've been pregnant with big kids, and with my largest being 10 pounds, I earned my loose belly skin.
It might have made a difference that I did it "au naturale" without the surgery, so I am still absorbing my nutrients properly.
I know your pain..I lost my 16 y/o
xx
I am so sorry to hear you lost your
precious kitty. That's a long time to form an attachment. I feel bad for your daughter. I'm sure it was a shock for her - you're never ready for that. You are going to cry for a few days and then one day you the good memories will start and you'll realize you always have those - lots of those in 16 years.
You might make a collage of pictures for your office wall.
LOST fan here, see inside.
If they were not dead before, they probably will be now, unless they find some way of digging out. Orrr, maybe the conversation the guy had with John, where things don't stay buried if they're too close to shore, hmm. However, what was the point of this episode? It centered around 2 people that we really haven't seen before, then they seemingly get killed off in the same episode. The only thing related to the series was when Raphael (I think his name was), was hiding in the bathroom when Ben and Juliette were in the Pearl bunker watching Jack on the monitor and making some plans about him. Other than that, I totally did not get the purpose of the episode.
Funny...but I'm not lost...
I'm just coming unscrewed in the process.
My ESL would say LOOOsing it or more like lucing it!
I just need a real vacation WITH PAY!
Your heart is in the right spot
trying to see after them. I myself carry around food in case I see animals out that I think might need a meal or if a friendly one comes into my yard, I bring out the food still. I would definitely be the same as you trying to fend for them.
Did you see LOST yet? (Not too spoilerish)
All I can say is - WHOA!
Didn't quite see that ending coming.
Very, very weird and interesting episode.
never miss a LOST!
We are huge Lost fans at my house! We didn't think the show shed any new light on things though. Just old stuff we already knew. They said John Locke has been trying to sabotage their chance of being rescued from the beginning, but we didn't really see anything until midway through like when he blew up Mikhail's station and then the submarine. Did we miss something else? Anyway, Locke is being so selfish now. Even if everyone else got rescued he could stay on the island by himself, so why is he trying to prevent everyone else's rescue? And we still want to know why Libby was in the institution!
Lost Addict
I'm thinking "call my father" is either a drug haze that Jack was in, OR he came back to life on the island. He did see his father standing on the beach not long after the plane crashed in season #1. At the time, I thought it was a hallucination. Maybe not? It seems that the island has the power to bring people back to life at times. The one-eyed guy came back -- or was he not really dead?
Whose funeral was it? Hmmm. Ben's? It was someone that Kate and Jack knew. Sawyer's? Someone that we haven't met on the island yet? How 'bout Jacob?
Ooooo! It's such a long time to wait, and so many possible answers to too many questions!
I lost my Tasha last May
I lost Tasha last May, she made the decision I did not she was 16 1/2 years old. But I did take her body in to be creamated and am going to spread her ashes in the park where she loved to run and chase the squirrls when I can bear to do it. But my sister has had three dogs put down, the vet come to her house and she is on acerage but they bury them in their back field. In their other homes they also buried several pets. I worked for a vet and I know how some of them dispose of the animals and I would never do that and that is why I decided to have Tasha cremated. It cost me but was worth it. I was going to bury her out at my sisters but decided to keep her here where she loved living. But you can have her put to sleep and take the body home with you and they don't ask what you are going to do, at least here in Oregon. But be sure you dig a large enough hole and down rather deep so some other animal does not come and dig it up. Even in the city, raccoons will dig it up sometimes. Sorry, about Foxie. I kept Tasha comfortable on arthritis medication but the Glucosamine helped the most from Petco and kept her quite comfortable for the last year. Ultram kept her free of most of the pain during the last 6 weeks and I really don't think that she suffered. But she decided it was the end and just went to sleep and up to that day she was walking a mile a day or so with me around the moorage. She was eating well. It is hard and I have not yet decided to get another dog yet but may soon. Take care. Patti
Somehow I lost 10 pounds.
nm
I lost my mother sm
Two and a half years ago. She was 59. I still have my father and a wonderful step-mother but not a day goes by that I don't miss my mom. So many people helped my by telling me what a good daughter I was and that my mother passed away knowing how much I loved her. She and I talked every day and most days it was 2 or 3 times. I have a 16 and 14yr old and everytime something wonderful happens in their life I think "Oh how proud my mom would be". You are always going to get meaningless platitudes but just keep in mind that your parents did a wonderful job raising you and obviously knew how devoted you were to them. Hugs to you!
My SIL had this and lost over 150 pounds. She...
really did not have any major problems after the surgery. However, it has been almost 2 years and in the past few months she has regained 35 pounds. If someone is eating to deal with emotional problems or just life in general, having the surgery does not make the emotional problems go away. They need to find another way to deal with them before the surgery in order for the surgery to work effectively. Just my opinion from watching my SIL. The docs need to deal more with WHY the patient is eating the way they do and work on changing eating habits before they have the surgery.
so, how much weight have you lost? nm
?
Bless your heart
Bless your heart...Fox looks like such a sweetie. I think the memory garden would be a wonderful idea.  Cat
Aww, bless your heart! I still
love what I do, but have only been doing it for 3 years. I feel totally blessed that I actually got to quit work when my kids were 2 and 3, go to school online and actually get to work from home so I can be where they need me when they need me. I can see why what else you're doing right now, though, is so much better than MTing! Have you ever been to Women of Faith?
You lost him years ago - help where you can when you wish
to but don't make them your project - it will drain the life from you. This is the life he evidently wants so life yours and wish him happiness. You need to let go - it is difficult I know - but you can do it.
What about just giving from the heart?
Why put such a price tag on something so trivial? Jesus is the reason for the season!
Another poem for all of you that have lost someone!
These poems are meant to be personally yours....
I’M FREE
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God laid for me,
I took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief.
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now, He set me free.
Author Unknown
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