My father-in-law sends my daughter presents, calls her, etc. BUT
Posted By: SleepyMT on 2009-06-02
In Reply to:
pretty much ignores my son. My son is 16 and my daughter is 8. They are both his grandchildren. He will send a gift to my son on his birthday, for Christmas, etc. same as he does with my daughter. But the presents are usually not equal in price. Then he will call and talk to my daughter and not ask to speak to my son or even ask about my son. He will send postcards when he is on vacation and address them to my daughter with my son's name squeezes in as an after thought out to the side. When he is in town visiting his mother and sister, he will bring my daughter little gifts and call and ask to see her, but usually never asks to see my son.
I don't have a very friendly relationship with my FIL as I divorced his son and the divorce was not an amicable one. However, when my son was little and I was still married, my FIL was very close with my son and treated him similarly to the way he treats my daugther now. It seems as my son has gotten older, my FIL has simply decided he doesn't count anymore. I think some of this has to do with my son being a teenager with a smart mouth who has been very vocal about the divorce, my ex, and his grandpa. My son doesn't get along with his father and he took my side in the divorce.
I really, really, REALLY want to tell my FIL off, but then he'll stop having any contact with my daughter and she's too young to understand everything that's going on. She loves him to pieces, but I'm also afraid that the same thing will happen with her as it did my son -- as she gets older and starts to figure things out and understand and become more opinionated, my FIL my just shut her out too.
It is really just a crappy thing my FIL is doing. If I confront him about he'll just feign innocence and act like he didn't realize he was treating them differently. So maybe my anger is just fruitless anyway.
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Daughter is only 3 and she calls me
Me: Momma
Dad: Daddy.
When she gets older I think she will probably call me mom.
I know when I was younger something that would really irritate my mom is when I called her "mother'. 
Father-Daughter
I don't know that one. Now I'm curious and have to look it up and hear it!
father/daughter
My take on this whole situation is they are playing us. They probably both knew they were going to be in the house, so I would not take it too seriously.
Father-Daughter and First Dance
Father-Daughter dance - Unforgettable, Nat Cole
First dance - At last, Etta James
Next dance - I've Got Friends in Low Places, Garth Brooks
Lots of Nat Cole songs are good and really meaningful. I cried when my daughter and husband danced that dance to that song. It was like letting her know she was cherished and not to be forgotten, just moving on to another time in her life.
Father daughter has to be "I loved her first"
I cry every time I hear that song. Singer escapes me right now.
Daughter's father, now that was a loser!
And yes I did choose him and yes we were married. Cruel to me, beat me (years ago when laws were not like they are today, police not on lady's side, felt like you were property of husband), slight support from him only through the court system, have no contact with him and she wished no contact with him either. He tried to contact her after she was grown and she said no to him. She is very close to her stepfather though, thinks the world of him.
father-daughter dance - old Italian song...
Stepdaughter calls me "SM" (stepmom), daugher calls me mom. nm
.
My kid's school sends us home a note - sm
when 1 kid gets lice. It is sent to the parent's whose kids are in the same class and on the same bus; that is it, and I am fine with that. At least I am aware there is a problem and can be on the lookout. A friend told me that these critters don't like dirty hair and to put hair mousse in the hair as it deters the lice. Figure it cannot hurt, so I did it this last "outbreak" 2 weeks ago and we have avoided it again (3 outbreaks this year to date-1 was in my daughter's class, ick). I just hope I never have to go through it, one with the pain in the butt aspect, and 2 my DH will go totally nuts/ballistic if it ever happens.
the town where I live sends out notices
by mail when someone on the sex offender registry moves into town. So, if this were my situation, the man registering the little girl would have received one at his home as well. Do you think I feel worried about how he would feel about his face being plastered via 70-80,000 mail boxes in town? Nope. Every mailing lists the offense, the date, the age/sex of the child along with the sex offender's 5 x 7 picture and his current address. Two live on my street, share the same community swimming pool as my family. It is also posted at the police stations and post offices.
Yes, his child is involved, but SO IS MINE. I can be just as compassisonate about his child as I am about mine and every other child in that school. I can understand the OP's concern. I would want to know and be proactive towards everyone's safety.
We buy presents for kids in a community
nm
HA! My cat loves to leave little presents
at my front door but when he had a mouse in the house and could hear it scratching, my cat hightailed it out of the room as fast as possible. Now that is the true meaning of "scardy cat". LOL!
Same here, but toss in all the unwrapped Christmas presents still
b
Do NOT take any calls when you are at work.
x
Her BF is controlling? Yours calls and you hop in
x
There has to be a reason for all these calls
I would think if the payments made on time, paid when they are due- what would a company call that often for? Do you have privy to that account to check it? Do you see the statements? First of all, they have laws about the calls all day long-you can put a stop to that. I have credit cards, my husband has credit cards- we never ever get any calls to ask us to pay in advance. I think something else is going on here.
Does anyone else keep getting phone calls
from 877 numbers and 800 numbers but no identifying info, the phone will say unlisted number, and other times the phone will say 000-000-0000 as the telephone number, and other times it will say private name, private number, and when you pick up nobody is there.
I've been getting these calls 4 or 5 times a day. I let it go through to answering service and nothing. Surely after 3 months of this they would get tired and stop calling.
I really have to figure out how to have these numbers blocked but in the meantime it drives me buggy.
annoying calls
I get them also, especially with all 000, very annoying.
put it to you this way--know a guy in is 40s who still calls it his bobo. NM
.
I use only for emergency and quick calls. Pay $100 for yr.
a
Nuisance 800 phone calls
Does anybody have ideas on how to stop unwanted phone calls? There is an 866 number that calls literally a dozen times a day, obviously computer generated as I pick it up and no one is there. It's incredibly annoying, not scary or anything. Nobody ever leaves a message, and it has me running to look at the caller-ID an extra twelve or so times a day, just to see that it's them again. Has anybody (or everybody) else had this problem, and how did you deal with it? Thanks!
Husband gets mad and calls me a *itch....
We have been married for 10 years. Lately when he gets mad I am reduced to being called a *itch. When we don't make love, it is because I don't want him. Does not matter what I might do, not cook for him, not turn on the heater this morning when I am supposed to be working.
I am an MT working at home. I have to work a schedule, which I fail to do, so I have to be more stern about what I can and cannot do because I want my job. Being called a *itch---what does that really mean. I do not view myself as a *itch but then no one does. I have read that it is a woman who is extremely disliked, spiteful, overbearing, and I am reduced to this name calling because it is something he wants to call me only because I did not do what he wanted and it made him mad.
He says that he is not in the mental state he should be regarding me working as at home as it is --just not working-- Yes, for years it seems I always work as I try to be with the family and as a result I get behind and have to work every spare moment I get and even then do not make my commitment. Okay, I do get fatigued, maybe depressed, but I love working at home and I know that I have to stick to my schedule. maybe 70% of that is my fault but a lot is from him as well wanting me to do things for him that he can do for himself. like wash his clothes for work, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't.
Well the reason for all that is to ask.... does my husband really hate me so much to call me a *itch. What really does he mean? I am not overbearing. I let him do whatever he wants. He did not have to work for years. Now he finally gets a job and he is all high and mighty about me and what I do and don't do. He can improve on things just as much as I can. does that mean you have to yell, scream, rant, and rave because he don't get his way.
He says the way to a man's heart is his stomach. Yeah, I have heard all that but does that mean you have to take it so literal. If we don't make love, it is because I don't want him and then he throws a big hissy. I am a man. My testerone levels get too high! he start punching the wall! okay, maybe we don't have time, maybe I am trying to get caught up on work and trying to balance all things, cooking, cleaning, being with my 1 child and husband and work.
Yes, I am reduced to yelling right back at him. Everyday I think I am not going to yell, but I do anyway.
Sorry, any advice. I feel we havea shallow relationship now. He gets mad and then I am a *itch. I try to get along with him and watch our shows together, then, later I get yelled at because I made time to watch TV. We make love, I think we are getting closer, and something else sets him off. I realize we have deep issues we have to work out, but I also think getting mad making the other person miserable is not the answer.
What does he really mean when he says I am a *itch now. helpless....
Thanks! My husband calls it porridge and
my 7-year-old LOVES it!!!
My son's kindergarten teacher calls him
that all the time. How old is the child we are talking about and the sex of the child/teacher?
There's just not enough information to give an opinion.
Daughter's phone is daughter's responsibility. Valuable lesson learned.
It should be between the daughter and the friend if the friend is going to pay any of the fees. They are teenagers, not preschoolers.
I just use the answer machine to screen calls - sm
if its a recorded call, it doesn't record. If it's a sales call, they rarely leave a message, and if they do, I erase it. If I need to be available to family members, I tell them to identify themselves in the message, and I'll pick up.
I use the answering machine to screen calls too--sm
if it is something important and they begin to leave a message, I will answer, otherwise I won't. Most of the time, they will not leave a message.
The do not call list is helpful, but not for everything. If you really want to take the time, you can answer the phone and before they start their pitch, tell them nicely that you wish to be removed from their call list. They are supposed to remove you. If they call back after that, you can report them to the do not call list and they will be fined for it. Also ask for the name of who you are speaking to. Sometimes two or three different people from the same place have your number and even though you ask to be removed from one person calling, the next may not know that and call you anyway. It took me almost a week of doing this on a daily basis and eventually the calls stopped. It takes time, but it works. oh, heavenly peace and quiet!
Not necessarily, many phone calls may have been made. (nm)
x
Love my PJs. DH calls them my "leisure suit." LOL
nn
withheld cell phone calls
my son keeps getting crank calls on his cell phone all the time. I called ATT and they say there is no way to tell who it is. How can I find out. I know it has to be one of his friends. Now he is actually getting weird messages. Any ideas?? Thanks
She says if she calls the cops every time he shows up ...sm
he will just be gone by the time they get there. She did pick up the phone several months ago when he put the gun to his head. She said I am calling 911 to come take you to get help. He immediately stopped and sat down and said no please don't call the cops. I am not going to kill myself. I won't do that anymore. Now if he was serious, he would have not cared. He would have said hey I will be dead before they get here. He knew he wasn't going to do it and he didn't want to get hauled off for psychiatric evaluation. THen he started threatening this again on the phone one time and she said ok I am going to have you committed then cause you need help. He said oh no I am not going to kill myself. And for a long time he did not bring it up again. It is for attention.
hubby calls them 'health food'
cuz of the peanut butter and oatmeal -- he's always "needing" more health food :)
i don't understand why there is not a limit on how many calls can be made from 1 phone. I know D
register are set up to only let you in 1 time by either phone or internet, so why can't AI do this also????
I am sick and tired of the umpteen million calls every day
I am on a DO NOT CALL list and I cannot turn off my phone for another few days until the kids are out of school for the summer (school needs to be able to reach me in case of emergency.)
Today, I have had THREE organizations call me for donations to cancer research.
One call from the National Federation for the Blind.
One call from the National Firefighters Association.
This is a typical day.
I have caller ID but the school number shows private so when these places call and also show private name/number, I answer them.
How many times does one have to say DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN?
Criminy! 
Okay, I'm done venting.
Phone calls are defininely in order here first! Passed
s
I hadVonage & experienced choppy & dropped calls. They are much like AOL
and if you do cancel you have to pay a hefty cancellation fee. Never again.
P.S. Before anyone calls me a bad mother or blames me for any of his issues, my other two children
xx
When the physician personally calls you, red flag time
I just had an MRA of brain this past week and nephrologist called today, not in and he left his cell phone # for me to call him back. He said an artery showed up as bigger than should be - I asked aneurysm and he said, well he wanted to know about my seeing a neurosurgeon ASAP and he said he would call and talk to 1 he knew (if I did not have one of my choice, nope didn’t ) and get me in just as soon, hopefully tomorrow and then nephrologist called back in about 5 minutes to verify he did speak with the neurosurgeon and appointment tomorrow. Now I have just started to draw my full social security, still working, planning vacations and yes that is pleural and crud!! Maybe good this anomaly caught in time, would hate to stroke out or worse. I had been going to another neurologist, started having some twitches in my face and also nystagmus in my right eye here lately. I was knowing something was up. I will collect that medical license just any day now. Wish me luck with tomorrow....
The original When a Stranger Calls...at the height of my babysitting years. nm
!
Basically stick to a schedule. Laundry is only "housework" while I"m working. Keep calls sh
s
Love the cell phone commercials (cingular?) about dropped calls
They are so funny.
if actual threats then report it; keep all records/emails/calls for reference
nm
'scuse...keep calls short as I feel I must do these things in order to make money. No babies
s
I think she said the father did not want her around
so really she should take that same stance. I think you just cannot sometimes may an enabler understand what they are doing wrong. My deceased husband, I talked to him about his enabling with his daughter and he told me he would do until his last breath and he did. She was a total invalid after that, did not have a clue (at 30 something) how to make her way. Oh well, glad I wasn’t the mother.
You ask about my son's father?
The father came around after the son grown and now lives with him. No money ever from him while my son growing up, not a penny, nothing. I have nothing against the father, just always thought he basically did good to take care of himself but not a father figure at all for the son. He was able to work, chose to live on the streets and finally got too old to be out there and my son and his family took him into their home. I was there but people have to understand what money does to people, especially if a lot of money, thousands and thousands. My son was upset about my inheritance and that is what happened. It is sad but not my fault he would choose the love of money over his mother. Wish him well.
your father
This is a touchy subject. Yes, it sounds a little like he may be trying to "take the easy way out" but really, what he is doing is self degradating and really desperate. I believe he needs help. Of course, he is not going to see it or admit it himself. That's WHY he needs help. He has threatened to take his life and spoken of wanting to die. I think you should call 911 or see if your town has a crisis team and tell them that he has said he is going to kill himself. Have him taken by ambulance or let the crisis intervention team figure out the transportation. Once he is at the hospital professionals will evaluate him and decide whether or not he needs to be committed against his will or long term treatment. They will give him counseling and even point him in the direction of how to start managing life again. The worse that could happen is that they say hes fine and send him home (which they will not do without at least providing him with information for outpatient treatment and other local agencies that can help him).
However, how will you feel if, God forbid, he does hurt or kill himself while you thought he wass just bluffing?
And even if it doesnt go that far...he will continue to harass you and your mom.
He needs help of some kind and as his daughter I think you should find a way to help him.
How do you know her father was
there for her? You are assuming that. As far as writing him off, it might be the best thing for her. Toxic people are very dangerous. Obviously you had a story book childhood and until you go through something like that, it is impossible to understand. Because it is a parent, it does not mean you have to put up with emotional and mental abuse.
Father in law
My father in law is an ok guy. One problem. He likes to come to our house and watch TV. On Saturdays and Sundays, I am off work, and I like to relax on the couch in Pjs and watch my TV. My husband drives an 18-wheeler, and a lot of times when he comes in if it is on weekends his dad will come over that morning and sit here ALL day long. My husband said last time you know I love dad to death and like for him to come visit but after a couple hours it is time to leave. Well now my husband isn't at home and he comes over to visit my son who is 11, and tells my son lets watch a movie or something. Well this is my weekend to relax and lay on the couch and watch TV. I feel like I can't relax in my own home. He doesn't have satellite at his house so he wants to sit here and watch. I am so fustrated. He needs to go home. I think he uses the excuse when my husband is gone to come see my son so he can sit here and watch movies. I would like to watch my own TV. URRRGHH! Any advice?
My father in law tried that with his indoor cat
and once they got outside the cat totally flipped out like a crazed wild animal. It was a very scary experience from what he described. So just be careful.
I do not live in 1 but my father had 1 and
when you pull the carpet up as I did when I got the trailer it only had cheap plywood underneath it. Having said this I was going to rent it out as eventually wanted to sell for the land it was on (6+ lake front acreage) so we put down linoleum (spelling?). A trailer is mostly made from the very cheapest you can get, thus the cheaper prices most of the time than homes. We took inexpensive commercial carpet for some of the bedroom floors and hubby put that down. These are about the cheapest you can do, don’t think your idea of a faux finish will work with the plywood but then you can always check on that. By the way, do you have to tar the roof of yours? Most trailers require this- did not know until after I had in possession- the only difference is a regular roof was put on this 1 - most are flat on the top and require tarring.
Actually he is a wonderful father...
who takes time out of his sleep schedule to be with them, eat dinner with us, go to kids' sporting events and the usual things people do without missing a beat because everything works out for their schedule. People who sleep during the night have no clue how hard it is to sleep during the day when it is light out, loud noises outside like lawnmowers, snowblowers, leafblowers, construction and more than you could realize. Nobody schedules meetings at 1:00 am so you have to get up after a few hours. Going to church on Sunday with your family and having family day requires less sleep because he works Sat. and Sun. night.
I feel sorry for you that you can't have an open mind enough to see that not everybody has the same life, same feelings, same jobs. If I can make him more comfortable including having a dark bedroom then I will and I asked for help in achieving this goal, not to have someone who doesn't know him or our family come on here and insult us. Not once did I say this was something he told me to do or makes me do..I am doing it because I love him. If he gets home in time in the mornings he gets the kids ready for school. Marriage is about give and take.
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