My family decided last year to just enjoy the holidays
Posted By: WITHOUT the big gift hassle. - sm on 2008-12-01
In Reply to: I think I am anti-gift giving this year - lac
We're all adults, no children, and live in small homes or apartments. I NEED tons of stuff, but have no place to put much of anything, and can't afford to reciprocate with a gift. Same with a couple other siblings. My mom's been impossible to buy gifts for, for probably the last 10 years. I was the first to bow out the year before last. I started the ball rolling because I just plain couldn't afford it anymore, and was too busy working all the time to spend hours on end in a department store. I had a new job, no PTO, and NO money, so I alerted everyone that I wasn't going to play the game that year. Turns out it was a relief to all! And last year, without all the holiday 'getting mauled at the mall' disasters, each of us had quiet, happy, stress-free holidays. So now that we've eliminated the gift-giving aspect of Christmas, I finally can look forward to the season and enjoy it again.
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For holidays in my family-
My family, which consists of two brothers, two sisters, many nieces and nephews who are all married and have children and my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter, started several years ago having our Thanksgivng and Christmas holidays on the Saturday before the actual holiday. That way, they can all stay for the day and then spend the actual holiday with the other side of the family. It works out really well. We really enjoy having everyone stay for the day and they don't have to run around on the holiday either.
My husband's family is another story, ugh! We are expected to be there on Thanksgiving day at noon, Christmas eve at 6:00 p.m. for an immediate family Christmas and then Christmas Day with the entire family. In addition, I always work Thanksgiving and Christmas. It makes for an exciting couple of days. They won't change anything...it's family tradition. Whatever!
Good luck with your plans.
I am the same age and decided the same thing last year.
Though, I fall back into old doormat habits, but I try to keep myself in check on a daily basis. You know people pleasing is a habit difficult to get out of. And by people pleasing, I seem to attract the wrong kind of people... I think the users of the world can smell a person who is willing to overlook users so they can help to feel useful.
I am trying to boost self-esteem and as I do little things for myself, I find I can use my judgement of character better. Instead of helping everyone, I help myself and still feeling guilty. This is something to get over. Once we do for ourselves we have enough inside to do for others in a healthy way.. and it will be reciprocal. How is it that so many MTs are such givers? The old saying "if I would have known then what I know now..." etc.
I decided to grow tomatoes for my 10 year old who loves them! sm
I planted 2 plants and they grew up so tall - totally pesticide free with no bugs on them all year! We had so many that I would give them to a neighbor. One batch was picked up by a woman who drove 30 miles for our tomatoes! I don't like them.....They were no big deal planting - just put them in the ground and watered every day.
CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is great. Enjoy your family!
:)
Hey! You guys got us last year. Let us enjoy
little cheerleader smiley on here is Red Wings colors? 
What's up with that?
I want a Penquins Cheerleader!
Anyway -- Both teams played a GREAT game.
Guess we WILL meet again next year! See you then!!
Family is great but I am never back in my hometown where family is... So I always have extended fami
You can always pick your friends your stuck with your family. An Xmas for me is where my husband and kids come home to. It is what you make it!
Probably a lot of MTs do that who are alone on the holidays. sm
I live alone, but am not alone, and celebrate with my family. I just get in a few hours before light is up. And maybe some later on in the evening. It works out fine. 24 hours in a day, after all.
As far as holidays go
I don't have a problem with kids being taught about different beliefs, but don't take down Christmas decorations, just add some for the other religions. Before I get blasted - this is way I feel this way:
When I was in elementary school, my best friend was Jewish. At Christmas, when she didn't participate in gift-giving, etc., it was awful for her. The kids used to tell me "don't play with her, she's weird". And when we were all singing Christmas carols, she would be in the corner doing her own thing. How awful that must've been for her!!! I don't see why my teacher shouldn't have been able to let my friend tell everyone about how she celebrates. Again, I know some don't agree, but my little friend's face when she was left out is forever burned into my memory!
Holidays
My family is spread across three different states so it is very rare that we get together for the holidays. Most holidays are spent with my husband's family which is absolutely fine because they are wonderful people who make each and every holiday a special one.
Honestly, this year, I am not worried about spend, spend, spend so much as being grateful for what we have this year as 2008 has brought a lot of lessons and blessings into our lives. I will be making homemade gifts for family vs. buying expensive presents. It is the thought that counts after all.
Holidays
I too am dreading the holidays this year, especially Thanksgiving. My son committed suicide last year the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I want to do something different this year than last. My mom wants to go out to eat and my boyfriend wants to cook at home. I can never make them both happy. Christmas will be a challenge too as my boyfriend is laid off. Luckily, my family is small so there aren't a lot of gifts to buy.
Wanted to but we decided on sm
The Phantom (have front row seats), Blue Man, and Etta James is going to be there on Friday and my friend HAS to see her. We're only there 4 nights and the first one we get there at 9:30, so we just didn't have enough time. Next time!
Summer. Friends or family? Family. Tired or Awake?
x
working holidays.
I am working Thanksgiving, schedule just fell that way. As far as Christmas goes, I'm am also scheduled to work, didn't request it off, but I work 3rd shift. I did request to work Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve to have a couple of days off for my brother's wedding that is 12/30. Working holidays doesn't bother me too much since I'm 3rd shift, but I could see how it would be a pain for those who are required to work and work days or 2nd.
working holidays
I'm right there with ya! Love that holiday pay! lol
Sadness at the holidays sm
Hi, tried E-mailing you but they would not accept it. I have had horrible Christmas stories such as yours, with parents, a younger sister dying and a dear pet who got killed on New Years Eve. One New Years my husband was in a horrible accident and I had to care for him at home in a hospital bed, then 2 mos. later my trusted surgeon diagnosed me with breast cancer. I am not a born again (although there's nothing wrong with that) but I do believe in prayer and that when you're this low only a higher power or spirituality can get you out of it. You can't do it alone. Just venting on the board should help you. Just know that others have walked in your shoes and relate to you and hopefully are praying for you as they read your post. Believe me, although all looks pretty bleak right now, you will come out of this and things will get better. My thoughts and prayers are with you this day. I had a horrible day yesterday. One of my DIL's has been giving me a hard time for 20 years and she did it again to me and is coming tonight. I went to church alone last evening and prayed for the grace to get through this evening. I lit a candle and prayed to St. Jude (the patron St. of the impossible, I believe). I am not angry anymore and I know I can face her with dignity and strength, no matter what else she does to me. She's a bully and I feel sorry for her, that she can't see how bad she is. I know I'm going to be okay. Your situation is different, I know, I lost my younger sister to cancer, the Christmas was awful knowing she was dying. My Dad also was on Hospice at Christmas and my whole family was fighting. But I'm here this morning writing to you and praying that you will find the strength to get through it all. "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and that's the truth! All my best, and a prayer from my lips to God's ears for you, your family and your pet (I love animals)! God bless you. Still kicking and well - 6 years out, docs scratching their heads - ? misdiagnosed).  There is something greater than ourselves out there - just ask for strength - you'll get it, you'll see!
Man-made holidays...
but you are all so quick to forget that the Bible from which you quote from was in fact man made as well.
And if we are to only quote by the Bible as to what rules to follow to get into Heaven, you exclude a ton of other religions who believe they will get into Heaven or where ever based upon their man-made books as well!
Is the Bible the only true verse? If so, then Christians are the ONLY true believers and will be the only ones to get into Heaven. Bull...
Like I always said though, whatever floats your boat.
Me personally, I do not want anyone in my room preaching to me on my death bed unless I personally asked them to do so.
You mean the glitz is only for the holidays?
Gosh, I have sweaters and blouses I wear some of them year round and they have the bling aspect. I love it.
celebrate the holidays!
You are a very mature, thoughtful person. Just enjoy the holidays and if he is as mature as you are, it should not matter. Go celebrate!
upcoming holidays
Does anyone get stressed out and/or depressed during the holidays? I am already starting to feel down because of finances and the stress Christmas puts on us to spend spend spend, and also just family issues. I never had a Hallmark family, that's for sure. The whole thing is kind of depressing to me.
Holidays - Bah humbug!
I have nice holiday memories. My mom was not the Martha Stewart type but they were filled with lots of food, friends, and family. Very happy times. This will be the first year that I cannot go home for the holidays. We will still spend it with my husband's family but it is not the same for me.
I am also stressing about the holidays because his family is all about the presents and I grew up differently. His family says they are cutting back this year but I wonder what that means. To them, it is probably only $500 per person. I know its the thought that counts and you should only do what you can but I still feel bad and guilty if we cannot do for everyone else. I have suggested putting a limit or drawing names or making gifts to exchange but they look at me like I speak a foreign language.
This is the first year my husband and I will not exchange gifts for each other and our son won't get much either. To top off the financial crisis facing the entire nation, we are also expecting a child in the very early spring so that has added to our expenses and dipping into our savings.
For me this winter came very quickly as well which does not help. I haven't had time to ease into my least favorite season. It's been so gloomy the last few weeks I am glad that I don't have to leave the house to work but know I should leave the house occasionally to feel better. I just want to be a scrooge right now. Soon enough I'll have to put on the happy thanksgiving face to spend the afternoon with my in-laws while missing my family.
Birthdays with holidays.
Sometimes I like that the birthdays are around the holidays because then I can buy extra stuff and look at it all and decide how to split it up between the 2. Other times, like this year, we don't have much $ so I would really prefer them to be separated more but can choose that one!
My husband normally leaves the lights on all night. Turn on when he gets home from work and off in the morning...not this year. I think its reasonable to just do a few hours each evening. I don't think we'll put up as many as we normally do either. Usually we line all the windows, roof, bushes, etc. Probably keep it simple this year.
Holidays are hard
My parents were divorced so my sister and I spent many years shuffling between two houses. When we each got married and had our own families the situation got even more complex. My parents are now deceased and my sister and I are estranged (even though we live in the same town), so in some ways life has gotten simpler. I still get very emotional and depressed around the holidays because of my dysfunctional childhood and negative expectations, but I don't have as much guilt and stress anymore.
My husband's parents and family are back in our hometown 600 miles away, and for the last few years he's gone back there for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with our youngest child. I don't begrudge him that because his folks are elderly and I don't want him to have any regrets later. I can't go with him because we have a lot of animals to take care of, and frankly, I'm really comfortable just hanging out at home with them anyway. We have adult kids too, and two grandchildren, and I encourage all of them to live their lives without the burden of guilt and feelings of obligation. If they can come by and have dinner or visit that's great, and if not BIG DEAL. Honestly, it's just a day. Things got easier for us when we realized we didn't necessarily have to celebrate a holiday on the exact day it was scheduled.
I really understand your not wanting to let your mom down, and I would feel the same way. Your husband is a big boy and has made a choice, so that's on him, not you. He's probably being a bit immature and stubborn on this one. I hope you'll extend the invitation to your husband one more time, then go to your mom's and enjoy yourself whether he comes along or not.
Did you go into debt over the holidays?
C'mon, fess up!
Did you use credit to buy things for the holidays, or did you pay in cash?
I'm happy to report that for the 13th year, we paid in cash.
Having known the risks up front, I decided
myself never to have a child after 30 even. I had my first at 21 and then my daughter was born when I was 29. I just had always heard the risks and did not want to take them myself. Everyone can do what they want but the older here is not always the better.
I am so glad you decided not to go with Biospot
Funny I did not realize I had emailed you, but couldn't figure out where my post went, thanks for letting me know you got the information. This was several years ago with my cat and she is fine now. Thanks for asking. All for the animals.
guess they decided to leave it up to everyone's
It stopped when parents decided to....
be friends with Susie and Tommy rather than parents. They want their kids to like them, don't want to hurt the poor little ones feelings or harm their self-esteem. Instead of rules they compromise, instead of depriving them of certain things these parents lavish them with every material thing they can for fear of being called a bad mom or dad. It's easier to buy the kid stuff and let them do what they want rather than buck up and be a parent. You all know who you are out there. I have to laugh when I see the 12-year-old who is dressed like a 22-year-old who is at the mall with her 35-year-old mother who is dressed like a 12-year-old. I also think the role models in the home have a lot to do with it too. Mom and dad probably don't respect each other, argue, use foul language, what is a kid to do but think that's the way relationships work. Many parents today are raising the furture princess whiny-give me-buy me and prince disrepectful-treat women like crap-selfish adults of tomorrow. We are doomed!
Thanks for all the good information, this is what I have decided
Next year I start drawing over $500.00 per month on a retirement fund (from the hospital that outsourced us). I still wanted to keep working. My thing was I knew before full retirement that SS took away part of the money you make and after full retirement age you can make any and all without them taking away. I want to work after full, draw the retirement starting in 04/2008 and then wait until the full retirement (03/2009) and then I will have the full money. I do not want to quit working, just wanted to see what everyone thought about taking a % off if you took SS before your regular retirement age.he Thanks everyone for all the info.
Decided the same thing at age 40 - good for you!
Of course, people did not like the abrupt change I made and it made many angry, but you know what? I do not care. I am a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend, but I refuse to be a doormat to anyone. Life is too short!
That was for Bush's plan, which they decided against
The Tax Stimulus plan that has tentatively been decided on is 600 per person that earned at least 3000 in 2007 and then an additional 600 per child in the family. Married couples couldn't have made more than 150,000 either.
We have decided to seek professional help.
My husband and I talked and decided that for all our sakes and to try and do things right, we are seeking professional help to guide us through this.
I feel somewhat more relieved with that in mind.
I hope all this works out for the best.
Thanks everyone
We've decided to use these approaches
first. H is going to call around to see who has stove insulation. I will scrub it down with baking soda like someone else suggested. I have also read on the internet to sprinkle the new insulation Cayenne peper. They said the house had a fragrance for a while, but they never had to deal iwth rat pee anymore. If anything, I don't see why we cannot at least use the top part. I may just get rid of my cake mixes and cookie mixes. I guess I can either give them to my mom or give them to the food bank. We do have a George Foreman MIL gave us for Christmas. I have hardly used it because it was hard to clean. I considered selling it.
Right now, I just don't think we can afford it without using credit. We owe too much already. It is so bad that I have been looking around to see what I can sell. Not to buy a new stove but to pay some of this stuff down. We have Christmas to do and next month we have property taxes, car tags.
I am so glad my younger man decided
to hook up with this lady. It has been more than what I could have ever expected. He was the first guy I ever dated younger, married and never realized such a man existed. Totally in love with him 10 years later.
We clerical help to them. Yes I work holidays, sm
because I enjoy and count on the holiday pay. But I NEVER make the mistake of thinking that I am really a part of patient care, or my immediate turn around of a document is that important. It is important to the bottom line of the company, but not to patient care. There is absolutely nothing I produce, even in producing documentation of trauma or critical care, that has anything more to do with anything other than company profits. I come to believe this when I get reports, simple discharge summares, on patient who were discharged months ago, and the doctors mark it as a "Stat". LOL. ok. If you think you are that important, then you have been conned.
I never work on major holidays...
because I work for a small company that closes for all major holidays. I've been with them for almost 2 years now and they are definitely one of the best! They even send me a Christmas gift every year! I would never sign up to work for a company that was open on holidays, as I have no desire to work on holidays.
Since when do men deal with all the details of holidays and
x
With the holidays fast approaching...
I am wondering how your kids found out about Santa. My son has never led us to believe he doesn't believe, although we have wondered since he is in middle school now. I found out that he told a young cousin about the truths of Santa, E. Bunny, etc. My husband and I feel like we should approach him about this, not with the intent of being in trouble, but just to let him know that he shouldn't spoil it for the younger kids. Under the circumstances, I think he said it to be spiteful because he didn't want to go to bed for the tooth fairy to come.
I know as a child I was afraid that the holidays would cease to exist if they found out that I (the youngest) knew the truth. It was my older sibling who finally talked me into spilling the beans so no one had to get up early in the morning. I wonder if it may be a similar circumstance. Normally he is very open and honest with us and asks questions and discusses things that most other kids would find embarrasing, etc. He is a very good kid and I was very surprised to find out that he did this.
My father one time decided this was the punishment for my son
Had him write 200 times I must not ...... My father laughed as he told me when my son got through he said, "Now paw-paw can I do it again?" What works for 1 does not necessarily work for another.
Thanks...I decided to make an appt tomorrow (sm)
wondering if I have some compression on my inferior vena cava when I lie down which is causing hypotension...not sure what is doing the compressing though - guess that's why I need a doctor, huh :-)
I've decided to purchase a bicycle and would
appreciate any advice, experience, do or dont's on buying one. One of the reasons I hate cycling is because of those small seats and my backside is fairly large (all the more reason to exercise). I need to start getting more exercise for health reasons or I'm headed in for serious problems.
TIA
The next time I decided to make real
mashed potatoes. Didn't know how many potatoes I needed for 2 people, so I peeled about 6 or 7 potatoes. Once again, too many taters! LOL!
Anyone else with gallbladder problems and decided not to have surgery
and symptoms you had and what did you do instead?
Big difference between family values and family jewels, eh? lol
LOL. I love this show. I think Gene and Shannon and her sister are a riot! What characters. It really is amazing to me the kids seem so laid back and so normal. They seem like great kids.
Does your family still do the early Sunday dinner w/family?
s
Not only around Christmas but other holidays as well. Things that can't be explained any other w
nm
Nah - it's not you. Many people are "crabby" and unpleasant around the holidays!
Just think, you probably put a smile on their face when they opened that card. Just because they don't smile at you, does not mean you did not touch them in some meaningful way.
Feel good about yourself, you did a great thing.
Some people find the holiday season very difficult to get through, either depressed, loss of a loved one, and so on. Some do not even realize they are "crabby".
It is just like when you go Christmas shopping and everyone you meet in the mall or store are in a hurry, bump into you without even saying "excuse me" and just plain ole miserable.
Just keep smiling and being your happy self. Don't worry too much about it.
Happy Holidays to you! Here's a hug :-)
i'm athiest and I agree. Christian holidays have been
easter bunny, santa claus. It almost seems like businesses are exploiting your beliefs by pressuring you into buy bigger, buy more for your family than you did last year.
I like it cold for the holidays. Was in Florida last week and...sm
it just did not feel like Christmastime (temps in the 70s--not that I was complaining). However, I wish the temps here in WA State would get above freezing so that I can get my Christmas/birthday shopping done. Some roads are still a sheet of ice. Your 40-50 degrees sound perfect to me.
We were considering a rabbit in March but decided to go with guinea pigs instead (sm)
My daughter is 5 and really wanted a cat, but we just aren't "cat people." We have a big dog, and she loves him but wanted something cuddlier. We wanted something that she could help care for and play with. We get the "pigs" out of their cage every day (we have a an indoor fence/play yard that we put on a towel to catch the pee and poop) and let them run around. They have turned out to be a lot more fun than I thought they would. They really don't smell as long as you change the bedding in the cage every three to four days (might go longer if you only had one). From the things I've read and our experience, they are really gentle and tolerant (no one has gotten even an accidental bite since we got them in March, and we handle them ALL the time).
The negatives are that they are quite messy ( lots more vaccuming in the room where the cage is - again might not be as bad with only one - most of the bedding goes flying when they get to chasing each other around), and they can be noisy (especially at night when you're wanting to sleep).
They are terribly cute, and we love them but, like any animal, they are a lot of work. I don't regret it at all, but I can see where it wouldn't be for everyone.
School decided to make a new class/2/3rd graders
I get a message on my phone this weekend from principal saying my daughter was selected to be put in a 2/3 grade class. She is in 2nd grade. I think personally something else is up. Why such a great class being formed in January??? and why call on the weekend? She's not that upset about it, but we just moved to the area and this starts this morning. So now she had to meet new friends and now new friends again. Not sure how I should handle this. I'm upset, but at same time, might not be a bad thing. I do want to let them know I'm not pleased though.
Hysterectomy. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions. I have decided to go ahead with t
After obtaining the opinions of different physicians, the concensus is that my safest bet to avoid developing cancer given my borderline ovarian tumor is to proceed with a total hysterectomy. After pondering and fretting, although I am not thrilled with having a hysterectomy at age 42, I also don't want to be faced with developing cancer in the future, as they tell me I have a 20% probability of developing problems in the other ovary with my history. So full speed ahead....hysterectomy it is. If anyone of you has had a complete hysterectomy, I would love to hear from you regarding how you fared after the whole thing, if you required hormones, felt good, felt bad, etc. Thanks in advance.
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