My days are filled with happiness, not anger

• OJ Simpson is named a suspect - ss
  • Considering there are cameras everywhere in Vegas -sm - XXX
    • Just was posting a news story that I - ss
      • Brown/Goldman families at odds now - Catch up
        • Yes, I have been hearing this for the last - ss
  • If they are stolen from him, do they not - Ok, well
    • I think that is how I understand it, but - ss
      • Some of the public really OJ haters, myself - Oh, well
        • Then where is the killer? Everyone, except possibly you and 13 other people sm - Oh Really?
          • Grabs bowl of popcorn and puts feet up - here we go again!
        • WHAT????? Not talking about the trial - ss
          • Maybe you should read your own post because - Oh well
            • Yes, I know what I said. May be you - ss
              • My days are filled with happiness, not anger - Oh well
                • My days are filled with happiness - ss
                • that should be - Oh well
      • Now saying that he and 5 other men - ss

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I've known other brilliant people who indulged in self-destruction.  There have been studies that suggest the smarter you are the less happy you are, and there may be some truth in it.

The first reason for this would be people with attitudes like yours, abc.  They hold smart people to the highest standards.  They don't allow a genius to be human, but they do have weaknesses.  Imagine spending your whole life hearing "If you're so smart how could you, why haven't you....".  There is enormous pressure put upon them by others to do something great, to perform mental tricks for the amusement of others, to "prove how smart they are".  Some become as insecure about it as beauty queens do about their looks - I remember when I was married to my genius, we watched a show about a child prodigy who could play great compositions at the age of 4.  This show upset my ex, I could see it made him jealous and insecure, and nervous that he was not as great as everyone assumed him to be.  Just like there's always someone richer, thinner, and better looking, there's always someone smarter too.

Another reason would be lonliness.  The smarter you are, the less you have in common with the majority of the population.  The things that interest you most people can't even understand.  I think one purpose Mensa was created was so that they could find people to talk to on their own level.  The pitfall there is most of them are so specialized in their own areas of interest they still don't have anything in common - the gifted musician does not want to discuss quantum theories with the scientist, they can understand it, they just aren't interested in it.

In my ex's case, his substance abuse has three factors - First, he's physically handicapped, and his health has always been a problem.  He self medicates with substances to escape the misery of being in his body.  Second, he's a classic nerd who never had any friends or a social life.  He started abusing substances to try to be one of the cool partying folk, to fit in.  All of his current friends abuse substances, but he at least has some friends now, that's how he sees it.  Third, the pressure to perform has caused him to give up.  He was a computer guru before computers were cool.  Once computers were mainstreamed to the general populace, and new software was coming out on a daily basis, he could no longer know "it all".  When he reached that crossroads, he panicked, gave up and dove into the bottle to hide from his insecurities.

A high IQ is often just as much a curse as a blessing.  I am assuming the reason to abuse substance is pretty universal - the desire to escape reality for a while, then it becomes a habit.  If a person doesn't have the courage to deal with reality and change their life, they may choose to destroy it instead.

and whatever else is bothering us.  it's nice to see that there are other people out there that bored just like me.  there are a lot of pros about working at home, but i have to say, i miss being around people, leaving work at work instead of it staring me in the face all the time.  i have two young kids who are in school and they are my main reason for working at home.  i want to be there for them when they need me instead of growing up in a daycare.

you're very rude.  maybe you need to get out the house a while.

I would also be hurt that someone you do so much for would treat you like that.  Unfortunately, the other posters are right:  No point in being angry because she obviously wouldn't get it.  I know that's easier said than done.  I would pursue the dream house.  I doubt they could get it anyway; they sound like losers.  If they can't drive to pick up their kids, how do they get to work?

As for helping out with their kids, I'd say sure if you have $5 for gas before you pick them up.  If they can't afford $5 towards your gas, they can't afford that house and it's their problem to transport their kids, not yours.  If they can afford it, put it in your new house fund, whether it be this dream house or another one!

Keep us posted -- would love to know if you get the house, and if not, let us know if she doesn't (see I told you I'd feel the same way).  Cuz the only thing that would make me feel better about not getting it, would be that she didn't get it either!!

Here's the story:  My ex-sorta-sister-in-law shares a child with my brother.  They both have DUIs and neither one of them can drive.  They only call me when they need help getting their child (who is the same age as mine and attends the same school) picked up after school and delivered to either one of them. 

I own a home in the city, a pretty bad neighborhood, and I happened upon this magnificent house very near her house, in the correct school district.  This house is on a dead-end dirt road surrounded only by trees and nature.  Truly the perfect house for me. 

So, here's what happened.  She needed me to pick her up and then go pick up her child after school.  On the way of returning them home, I said to her, "Oh, Sue, let me show you my dream home."  I drive her past it, saying how I so want this house and I'm going to make it happen.  She says, "Wow, that would be perfect for me and my family" (she has three other kids, having had this child with my brother while having an affair outside her marriage). 

Well, sure enough, at the open house on Sunday, there she was with her four kids and her her toothless husband -- making plans for who gets which room.  I told her I was less than pleased that she was trying to snatch my dream, when her husband stated, "Whoever gets to the bank first gets it." 

My feeling is that she was out of line.  There are thousands of houses for sale in this town and I had displayed extreme interest in this one.  Sure, it's no one's house until the financing is in order, but I feel like she stepped on my toes.  Now, when she calls me tonight asking to deliver her child again, I really feel like I'm out fo favors for this woman.  She obviously has no regard for me.  Am I right to be so miffed?   

Okay, let me just give a little background first.  My husband has bipolar disorder as did his mother.  His mother disappeared in 1999 and is presumed dead.  He has never gotten over that.  My husband is also an alcoholic.  Over this past year, he fell off the wagon and his mental health has deteriorated.  In May, he tried to overdose on Ambien and was hospitalized for week in the VA Mental Health Unit.  This past Monday, he drank himself into oblivion and slit his wrists, severe enough that he required stitches.  He is now spending at least two weeks in psychiatric facility outside the VA system (because the government does not take care of our veterans, but don't get me started!).  He does not remember cutting himself.

We have two children and as you can imagine this was all very upsetting for them.  I called my father-in-law the day that all that happened to ask him to help me with his son.  I left a lengthy voicemail saying I was trying to protect his grandkids and take of his son and that he barely has any contact with his son since he remarried.  I said that his son was still his son and needed his help.  My FIL never even bothered to call me back nor did he call my husband (I left the number for the facility on my message).  He didn't even call Christmas Day!

The thing is my FIL and his wife are very self-righteous Christians except that they only play at being Christian for appearance sake.  When someone really, REALLY needs them, they only offer prayer.  My husband has a brother who is a convicted child molester serving a 20 year sentence in prison for molesting his own daughter.  My FIL and his wife have made a huge show of ministering to the child molester.  They visit him regularly.  They fill his prison account up with money so he can buy a TV and a typewriter to have in his cell.  He was up for parole this past year and they spent thousands of dollars on an attorney and thousands of hours making phone calls and writing letters on his behalf to get him out on parole.  They tell everyone they know how they have sacrificed and ministered to this son.  And he is born again now and all will be wonderful when he is released.

By my husband, his other son, never hears from his dad.  His father never visits.  My kids get gifts sent to them on their birthdays and at Christmas, but he rarely talks to them or sees them. 

Suffice it to say, there is A LOT of background info.  Last night, after I lied to my husband about his father knowing he was in the hospital (I said his father didn't know because my husband was wondering why his father hadn't called) I became very, VERY angry.  So I retrieved email addresses of friends and family my FIL and his wife from old forwarded emails that I had saved.  And then I wrote a very long, very detailed email about my FIL and his wife, about my BIL and his crimes, and then I ended it with an excerpt of scripture and a paragraph saying we are called to love our children unconditionally as our Heavenly Father loves us and we should never turn our backs on any of our children.

I then sent this email.  After I sent it, I started to maybe think I shouldn't have done it.  When I'm angry, I tend to let go without thinking.  So what do you guys think?  Was I right or wrong?  And if I shouldn't have sent the email, should I now send a followup email explaining I was angry and apologize or should I just leave it alone and figure the damage is already done?

The faster the better on these fraud things - your daughter is going to wait a few days?  This is VERY_BAD.

She should have already gotten a police report (takes 4 days to physically get it in her little hands) - and then she should have ALREADY called the bank to freeze her account, open another account.

BTW, my daughter had her purse stolen from my car - she called me immediately - I was on the phone with the bank, every credit card company, etc. (this was on a Sunday), and on Monday - I showed up at the bank and the perps got NOTHING.  Time is of the essence on these matters.

When my daughter first moved out of the house back in 1999, someone stole checks from her house/desk.  They got all her $$ which was $1400.  She went to the bank - and the bank, at first, didn't want to give her the $$ back - but in the end, they did !!!  All the $$.

Again, time is OF THE ESSENCE!  Hopefully, while I'm typing this, I'm thinking you are SURE to tell me that the bank was notified via phone when it happened.

*fingers crossed* 

to get back to me. I am concerned for them. I can image how she and her husband feel. I saw them today and she, especially is shaken by this. Thanks for caring.