My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
Posted By: Kellie on 2007-06-26
In Reply to: Anyone else had to deal with this? - PammyB
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
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LOL - my mother told me the same thing!
I'm almost afraid to go see a doc now. 
Love when Octomom told her mother she would just have to learn to let go?
Hmmmm, I think the Octomom is having to depend on her mother, right? Why does not the Octomom just move the heck out and then maybe the g'mother could let go.
Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson.
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Both my mom and aunt have had very good success with it. My mom, smoker for over 40 years, quit cold
turkey and says Chantix is the best drug out there - she tried everything!
I see that there are mixed feelings about this drug as with all drugs. Works for some and doesn't work that well with others. Sorry to hear about their experience!
Guess talking with dying aunt over daughter just shouldn’t happen
Yes I did say disconnect (have thought about that for some time just due to the excessive amount spent on land phone though and daughter suggested disconnecting also to save $$$) the fuss was the fact about others assumming something. I took what I considered to be the more important of the 2 calls- basically I talk with the daughter every week several times and the aunt - well what would most do?
You're aunt is bully, plain and simple and I would just stop visiting.
but I will tell you this, most mothers are going to voice their opinions to their kids about how they did things compared to out YOU do things. I think it's in the mother by-laws somewhere. :) My mother constantly tells me I'm too soft with my kids and I am. My mother was a strict disciplinarian similar to your aunt when I was a kid. Spankings were routine and generally with the belt or the fly swatter or any other object handy. That's why I'm so soft.
I let me mother know early on after I became a mother, that my kids are MY KIDS. She can give me advice and I'll always listen, but I will make the final decision on how and when to discipline my children and I and ONLY I (and DH too of course) will dole out any discipline necessary. Nobody else has permission to spank my children, EVER!
My mom and I get along pretty good now. I accept that she will be nosy and pushy and she accepts that I will ignore her and not call for a few days when she gets on my nerves.
I would just suggest being honest with your aunt and letting her know that you think you're a good mother, your DH thinks your a good mother and that your kids are doing fine and behave fine and if she doesn't think so, then she doesn't need to see the kids.
Whatever my mother-in-law and mother are cooking--lol
we go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve and usually have ham and kielbasa (we are Polish) and then my mom usually has turkey or roasted chicken on Christmas Day
I agree - a mother is a mother and a daughter is a daughter for life sm
despite the problems they had, which i truly believe stem for anna's drug problems. obviously her mom wasn't too bad or she would not have raised daniel for a while. i think the mother wants her buried in Texas so the grave will be close enough that she can go visit it without having to come up with expenses of going to the bahamas to get there. although i contradict that too in poor anna needs to be buried with her son.
Dh just told me a something
before it got back home. He took my oldest daughter to an out of town football game. Me and the baby stayed home as it is really too cold for her to be out. Well, he told me that this gal (recently divorced and hot to trot) came and sat by him and they were enjoying the game together.  He said people were staring. All I said was "okay." Okay, I need to keep my head. I should just trust Dh but we are having marital problems and the subject of divorce has come up but I thought we were going to put it behind us and work it out. Help me not blow up and blow it out of proportion. I can sometimes loose my head.
That's what they were told - sm
That the repair would be so obvious, it would be like night and day. I don't know, I guess if it were me, I would definitely want to know just exactly how much my premium would be going up before I made a decision. They do have the option of just havig their LR done for 200-300 dollars though, versus having the entire carpeting replaced and paying a higher premium. So, in reality, they will be paying for the carpeting anyway, like a poster above said.
He just told her (sm)
that he was about to compliment her, and that she could ditch the surprised act and just say thank you. He said something like that a couple of times, in other words to not act so surprised she's getting a compliment and like, really? really? me? and just say thank you, and that's what she did.
She really sang great last night, like she does just about every time.
Boy was I just told - NOT - sm
I just got a call from the mother of this girl who comes over now and then telling me that I am a horrible hostest and how dare I make her daughter feel uncomfortable.
OH PUH-LEEEEEEZ!
I'm laughing, hoping this means we won't see this brat OR her nasty witch of a mother darken our doorstep again.
So this is what happened. The girl comes over to "hang out". I was up from my desk moving a load of laundry from washer to dryer and when I walked back into my office, there she is, typing away on MSN messenger talking to friends.
It is a well known rule in this house by EVERYONE, including the kids that come over, that they do NOT even look in the direction of my computer because it is a company computer and my income depends on it. There are TWO other computers that are for family use. STAY OUT! Clear enough? Apparently not to this little brat.
I came back into my office and told her she needed to get away from my desk, telling her for the millionth time that it is my work desk only. I was nice at this point but not happy.
She then tells me "Just a second, I'm talking." That's when I blew a gasket!
I said, "Get out. Go home. Now." Very firm but not yelling and screaming like I would have loved to do. She turns around and makes this face at me, then pushes my chair back really hard as she is getting up and it bounces off my bookshelf, giving it a good rattle. So as she was walking out the door I simply told her, do not come back. You are not welcome.
Then her witchy mother called. I couldn't care less what the hag was yelling about so I just interrupted her and said, "HEY! She's 15. She should know better than to act like that in someone's home and if YOU don't teach her that BEFORE she does that somewhere else, this will NOT be the last time she gets the boot!" And hung up on her.
My kids were hiding in the hall giggling as all this took place. They never had the guts to tell her to get lost.
Before anyone tries putting a guilt trip on me... this kid is FAR from neglected, comes from a nice home, parents are well off, just SPOILED beyond belief and she believes that everyone should jump when she says jump. I AM NOT PLAYING ALONG!
I told her she should have said
They wouldn't like you either!
What nerve, what stupidity on his part, what ignorance. I am going to address how I feel about cats personally in a separate post and comment on some of the responses I have received. I am very appreciative of the responses and the dialogue back and forth. It is in some way healing, at least to me, and I hope to others.
tell her exactly what you told us
and she needs to be aware of the STDs out there..They think it will never happen to them, but it can...that is why talking with a GYN or nurse practitioner would be a good thing to give her pamphlets and brochures and also keep the lines of communication open between the two of you.
I was always told not to mix
your alcohols (wine coolers, beer, cocktails, etc), but more importantly don't break the seal or you'll be in the ladies' room all night.
Have Fun!!!
Perhaps I should have told the
whole story, but just wanted thoughts based on the information I did provide and the assumption that it did happen. What would you do if it were your child and you were certain that this is what was said?
Thanks to those who have responded. I look forward to seeing what others have to say as well.
Told her that already.
x
What I told
I have three - told them the truth. It worked for my daughters, worked some for my son. One of the big issues was "parties" and I just said no. They asked why. I told them that I knew them and did not think they would find it especially fun to watch their friends and themselves drink and ralph on other people's shoes. I actually described a few parties I had been to and all the graphic details. They believed me and decided not to go to parties until they were old enough to leave on their own power whenever they wanted. I just told all of them the graphic truth (my mother did not tell me and let me learn everything on my own - that was not such a good idea either in my opinion and she could have saved me a lot of grief if she had only spoken up. My son did drink when he was 18, but only at someone's home and says he did not drive. I believe him because he is now 37 and has no reason not to tell me the truth anymore. So, tell what you feel comfortable with. I think parents can have a big impact on their children when they are honest.
Have you told them what you told us?
I'd lay it right out to them like you just did here. Maybe they truly have no clue as to how it makes you feel.
He just told you
that he's looking for other options. He was being honest with you - he looked and hasn't found anything YET. Get a lawyer, get out of the marriage, and get on with your life.
My ex-MIL told the ex that she would
x
When my MIL first told me.....
I told her that my SIL was lying. MIL said she thought so too until the doctor said she was pregnant. Still....no ultrasound or anything performed. Still holding out for this to be a false positive.
I have been told that once a dog sm
tastes blood the urge will never stop. I have no idea if this is true, but it seems to make sense in some cases.
I was told that
in the morning is the best time because the pregnancy hormone is most concentrated during that time.
Told ya so! About getting a cat, I mean
I remember when you posted about your mouse problem a few weeks ago. Good for you. I have a cat who is a mousing champion! He would rather catch mice than eat or sleep. I know it's gross, but I don't have any mice.
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