My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Posted By: OP on 2007-03-15
In Reply to: I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now. - mtintx
Sorry for the confusion.
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Users Are Losers ... and So Are Their Dads
Users Are Losers ... and So Are Their Dads
Monday , April 23, 2007 - Fox News
Was it tough love, or cruel and unusual punishment?
A father says he wasn't trying to shame his 14-year-old son when he made the boy wear a large sandwich-board sign saying, "I abused and sold drugs."
"I'm not out here doing this to humiliate my son," the Knoxville, Tenn., father told WATE-TV as the teenager walked up and down the sidewalk Wednesday in front of Cedar Bluff Middle School, according to the Associated Press.
"I'm doing this because I love him," he said. "We do have an extreme drug problem in America, and maybe it's time for extreme measures that parents need to take to monitor this problem that we have."
The man wasn't identified by the station to protect the confidentiality of the son, but he appeared on camera. The son's face was not shown.
The father said he recently learned after reading the boy's MySpace page that his son was involved with marijuana and OxyContin. That's when he decided to act, and the boy agreed to the punishment.
After a short time, the school's principal soon came out and asked the father to call it off, which he did.
By then the boy said he'd learned his lesson.
"This is embarrassing. I ain't going to be doing it again," the boy said. "Drugs are for losers. That's all I can say."
LOL, dads are stubborn, aren't they?
I wish your friend the best of luck. I don't think his desire to want acknowledgment of his name choice is silly, either. Families are sure a trial sometimes.
Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
I understand...there are single dads out there in your same situation (sm)
I think befriending and maybe at some point dating one of them might make you happy. They would understand that they can't be around when the kids are around and you could just sort of keep that part of your life seperate. I have been considering divorce for a while and I know that is how I would do it. Best wishes - you sound like a very caring mom. You have to take care of yourself too though :-)
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
I get sad over my grandmother
Always meeting at her home for the special occasions, Christmas, Thanksgiving and the like. The house is still there but not for long as the city/county/state going through to make a road/street/highway? My cousin has been living there since her death in 1973 and I miss her so much but I asked for one of the glass door knobs from the home for a rememberance and he has that waiting for me out of town. I remember how she always bought me exactly what I wanted or needed. She recycled before recycling, always had anything you needed and could put her finger right on it- I guess if I had wanted a white elephant she would have went right to it. I thought I was so special in grammer school because I always had diamond rings, yes, diamond rings that I just picked out of a container she had at her home. Her husband used to be a bondsman and would take them on bonds- but was I special or not?? I was the only girl grandchild and I always thought she loved me more, whether she did or didn’t just felt like she did. Wonderful memories!
Don't know about mom's but he is like this at his grandmother's also.
nm
As a grandmother myself, I would never want to have
6 much less 14 children in my home, I could care less if my own grandchildren. I love my quiet life. If I want a circus I go to Ringling Brothers. This is a grown woman who had this litter- why should a person say in their 50s at least have to put up with her and her brood?
If your grandmother had a will it is
public knowledge and should be probated through the courts. Your recourse if cut out of a will is to go to court for what you think you are due as her granddaughter. I am reading you, your sister and nephew heirs. What about the grandmother's children (as in your parent, mother or father, you did not say which side of the family this g'mother is) and were there other children?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
I am the grandmother who replied above
I really gave some thought to all of your postings overnight. Your attitude is concerning on many levels, but I think the most bothersome - at least to me - is your lack of compassion of another human's right to be treated with respect.
There are about 3 million Americans currently caring for 6 million kin-related children they did not give birth to (outside of the foster care system - and, oh how that system would crash if it weren't for kinship care!). The reasons are myriad, complex and simple. I chose to keep my grandchild out of the foster care system and possible horrors that could be experienced there. I chose to keep my grandchild in the family so that even though the parents could not raise the child, she would not be anonymously adopted and I would lose contact with her forever. She has been able to remain within her family. If I had allowed the state to get involved, there are federal time guidelines that are out of my control and only God knows where she would be today. I tell her she is lucky to have two mommies...a tummy mommy (my daughter), and a heart mommy (me). Will she ever go back to her mom? Only time will tell. The phrase "it takes a community to raise a child" was coined from life experiences, not just because it sounded good in a speech someone gave. No matter how I feel about the behavior of her parents, I always tell her they love her. I do not disparage them to her at all. I am blessed that they return that gift by not denigrating me to her, either.
When I was growing up, I lived for a year with my aunt to get away from a bad school situation. A cousin once came to live with my family for the same reason. These things happened 20-plus years ago, so this woman's situation is not a new one.
There are many reasons that cause someone other than a mom or dad to raise someone else's child. Those people should be lifted up and honored and the people who promote the well-being of the child over what society thinks or their own selfish interests should be applauded. It is not demoralizing society for this situation to exist. These people are doing their best to keep the integrity of the society in which they live intact.
I hope you find peace and compassion on a day when you find yourself in need of support.
Reminds me of my grandmother.
She enjoyed green olives. She said if you go to Spain, they sold them from carts on the street, and she would get them and eat them by the handful.
My additions would be certain kinds of ice cream and chocolate. I do enjoy the sour gummy candy much too much. I bet it's at least as bad for your teeth as cola drinks, so I try not to buy that stuff. Can't stop if I have Milk Duds, either.
Remember my grandmother used to at
age 70 something. No pregnancy involved.
grandmother's passing
Try and be at peace. God knows her heart, OK? You're a good person and you deserve to be comforted. As I said, be at peace.
death of grandmother
Truly a horrible turn of events for you. Two deaths of loved ones so close together. Lean on the one who tells us to bring our cares to Him. It is believed by many that it would be limiting God to teach that this life is the only time that God can call a person to Himself. Second resurrection may be the answer. Also preaching to souls in prison, think about why they would need to be preached to, if these were evil spirits, not human spirits, what good would it do to preach to them?God is a God of love and your family members are in His hands.
Re suicide, no sane person can take their own life. no matter how "rational" they make it sound. Those who do kill themselves are not responsible for the sin of murder because they are so sick.
My grandmother did the same thing...
...insisting that her sister and niece, whom I barely knew and my mother didn't care for, be invited to my wedding. Mom caved, they neither showed up nor responded to let us know they weren't coming. Mom still says to this day she wishes she hadn't given in.
Well if it wasn't for this grandmother
There would be no wedding. Grandmothers are the "chiefs" of our tribes so to speak. I hope the best for this young couple, but it sounds like they're being childish. Let the grandmother invite some people, unless their felons. 
mother of 2, grandmother of 1
My hubby and I chose to have only 2. We got a boy and girl. I am now raising my granddaughter. I am hopeful that I can adopt her soon, and that her mom is serious about not having any more kids . I think one is what you said...plenty of work and love!
Let the other grandmother they lavish
calls, visits, hugs, love, etc., etc. go and buy. I have spent so much valuable time going to them so now tired of it all being on my part. I deserve as much as their maternal gmother.
For my grandmother, who is still active but
on a limited income I give her all occasion cards and stamps. She has told my mother many times what a great help they are to her.
It was very sad when my grandmother died
but she had lived a long good life. It was not a big party by any means, but we were looking at it from the side of she is now in heaven, she is with her husband, and she is no longer suffering any pain. I know there is always sadness and more for some than others. I knew what I wrote was going to be misunderstood. BTW, I am caucasian.
my grandmother has Vista on hers and
I don't like that everything is black instead of blue. I could not find anything i was looking for when i have tried to help her fix her computer. Her printer will not work now and I cannot figure out how to uninstall it. I am having her bring it over tomorrow to see if I can install it on my PC to see if it's the printer or her PC. if you like change you may like vista but it will be a very sad day indeed when I am forced to buy a PC with Vista. Luckily I just had this one built in December and they still had copies of XP to install on it!!!
My grandmother always froze her if she was going away sm
it didn't matter how little was left. She once froze some that couldn't have been more than 2 swallows. She also took napkins and sugar packets from resturants.
my grandmother made them, I think
she would change the water to "lessen the strong flavor" and then made a cheese sauce. Roasted sounds good.
Not a grandmother but parent myself
Well maybe you were a little defensive then and not resentful but reading your post it sounded like the things you do with/for your kids were more like chores instead of things you chose to do. I am not a grandparent but still a parent as both my sons still live at home as they go to college. I see too many people who just leave their kids to fend for themselves, 2-3 nights every week and every weekend during hockey season and other sports seasons...sorry if I offended you but that's the way you came off.
A friend's grandmother
A friend's grandma became obsessed with Polident, the stuff that helps keep your dentures in. She had tubes and tubes of it stashed. Anytime you were going over there and called to ask if she needed anything, the answer was always the same - Polident. LOL, oh well, it was harmless, so who cared? Kind of cute. I hope when I'm old and "losing it" that at least I'm cute and not obscene or mean.
of course they will, but she said her grandmother did apologize.
I just hope for some forgiveness, as well.
My grandmother is dying also
She and I are not exactly close, we live across the country from each other and always have. She was never very nice to my mother so I had a hard time getting close to her. My brother and I are the only family she has left and of the 2 or us I am the only one that keeps in constant contact with her.
When I do talk to her I reminisce. Not about our times together but about when she was younger. She loves to talk about herself.
If this woman feels like talking do that. Or maybe she just feels like listening and you could tell her how much you enjoyed playing her piano and playing with her jewelry. Just let her know she made a difference in your life. You don't have to outright talk about missing her, but I know she will get the message and I am sure it will bring her some comfort.
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
i lost my grandmother too in almost say way as you are describing sm
this was several years ago. she was 82 and all of a sudden developed pneumonia, which turned into sepsis. i had typed enough reports to know what sepsis meant and her hope was slowly going downhill. she too took a major turn for the worse after about a week in the ICU and nurses talking about her going home in a few days. she was also DNR status. they did, however, give her O2 by mask although i still don't believe it was enough because she was alert and told us she couldn't breathe. they also gave her morphine, which i disagreed with given my research because i read morphine makes lungs fill more with fluid rather than clear the fluid out. when questioning the doc about this, he threw her chart on the floor and said if you disagree with me, find yourself another doctor and walked out! it was horrible! i am not positive, but i do think they gave her antibiotics. we didn't get the chance to bring her home or to hospice though. she did have an IV so maybe there are other guidelines in her DNR/DNI status and her wishes that stated she didn't want them. she remember, she will be in peace soon and be thankful for the times you had with her. although my grandmother was in very good health until her pneumonia took her away from us, i'd rather seen her go like she did than to have a long, drawn out battle with health issues and pain. prayers to you and your family during this trying time for you.
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