My aunt is elderly but her husband used to drink
Posted By: Hannah on 2007-04-25
In Reply to: Very good advice - Rad MT
This was the love of her life and they had a child together. They both worked, lived with her mother to help her out on bills after her husband died and everything except his drinking went ok. After finding him in ditches, getting DUIs, passing out and the like, nothing worked. After probably 20 something years my aunt divorced him because she knew he probably would kill himself, kill someone else or something horrible. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him but just could not live like that. That was over 40-50 years ago. She still speaks of him fondly (he died in another state in a ditch but had her phone number in his pocket) but I am sure she thought she always made the right decision. Myself, I just would not want to go through that, too much else to keep me busy. Thank goodness no children for you- would be really hard to subject a child to that.
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Elderly Aunt
Kimmie-
You are being extremely overly sensitive. Your aunt is elderly - have patience. Continue to be kind and forgive her for what you perceive as rudeness. Save the hurt feelings for things that are really important. 
Dipper
My elderly aunt has just gotten 2 red marks
right under her eyes and she tried to see a physician today but was unable to, any thoughts on what this could be? She says bright red spots under both eyes.
We went to my husband's aunt's house once...
and they were having a get together because his uncle was dying of lung cancer. In rolls his three sisters and brother, all with their oxygen tanks and cannulas that they would have to take off to have their cigarettes. I found it fairly ironic and that is when I decided to quit smoking. Not the cancer, not the emphysema, but the ridiculousness of seeing people who can't breath because of smoking taking off what helps them to breath so that they can smoke. At any rate, I am not sure that I really have a point, just something that is interesting to me.
My husband's Aunt Delores, because she always tells everyone she loves them (nm)
x
Well I am an aunt and great aunt
I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews. Even though divorced still hear from the in-law niece and nephew. I know that they are all different, their likes and dislikes and do something special with them that entails their likes. Not much money but time. Used to do Christmas crafts with them and the older ones over 21 still remember it and the fun we had. Like I have often said it is not the money you spend but the time and knowing that they like, taking an interest in them. When they were little -- especially my great nephews and niece, they would call and say that they needed some "special time" which meant that they wanted time with just them and so no matter what I would have going on I always had them over. I also never broke a promise or a committment to them unless I was on my deathbed and I think that they remember that also. And now that they are older - as am I -- they do more for me -- my 20 year old nephew and his friends took off my paneling and put up sheet rock in my living room, office and kitchen and did not expect pay nothing but lunches and Gator Aid. I tell them aunts are a little special and unique creatures, No matter if a grandparent, foster grandparent, aunt, cousin a lot of these kids just want time spent with them and for you to know them -- it makes them feel special. I am taking my second great nephew to Disneyworld for his graduation -- took his brother to San Francisco. So looking forward to that this summer.
I feel that way a lot, too. My mom is ill and elderly
and the thought of losing her just makes me sick. It is so hard to see the decorations and hear the music now. I think of my mom. The financial aspect of it is difficult, too; especially now. When I feel this way I try to think of the real reason we recognize this holiday and that helps.
THIS IS CALLED ELDERLY ABUSE
And the courts see it as this. You can have abuse other than striking a person. Taking advantage, which this is, of a person her age is something that needs to be nipped in the bud not tomorrow but immediately. A person can have an excellent mind, no dementia but are flattered when they think someone is smitten with them. Family and children services know about things like this. She is in a position for the right person to take plenty of advantage of whether it is her money or otherwise.
Elderly care advice you might like
I have noticed sometimes on the posts here people talking about elderly care and places to go. I have been in the same spot before with elderly father and when i saw this thought i would pass it on. Sometimes not knowing where to go, how to get assistance and the like can be overwhelming. This doctor is in our town today and gave this website. I hope it might be helpful to some of my MTers! Here is: www.doctormarion.com
If he's elderly and low income, he needs to check sm
with senior services to see if he qualifies for some type of medical assistance aid.
elderly man/toddler any difference?
Would you leave your toddler unattended with 3 pitbulls? No I don't think so, and neither should an elderly person be left with that many big size dogs no matter what the breed!
Beth-obviously you've been bitten by the elderly abuse issue
spew us with your bile. If the woman is lucid, capable of functioning on her own, there is only so much the woman's child(ren) or social services can do UNTIL or IF something negative happens.
From the scenario described in the original post, she hasn't physically put herself at risk, not put herself at financial risk.
U} Here's a beer to help you make it through the day.
You aunt....
It sounds like you have tried very hard to look out for your aunt and what is in her best interest. Maybe now that her son has seen that someone is trying more to care for her, he may be NOW aware of just how much he really needs to be doing for her. Sometimes it's hard for a child to admit their parent has become so disabled that they need to be taken care of the way their parents used to take care of them, EVERYDAY! I hope your aunt can find a nice place where you can visit with her but of course, your aunt will always love her son dearly and just wants to be close to him like any parent. I just hope he realizes that.
I would think that your aunt would be proud that
a man who was not a child's biological father would take her, love her and raise as his child, grieve when passes away and refers to her as his daughter. My sister and brother-in-law married when my sister's youngest child was 18 months old. That child is now almost 20 and refers to him as "Dad." Her biological father is alive but the relationship is strained because she had a child out of wedlock. The stepfather, however, loves the child that she had and refers to him as his grandson. 
Your aunt's comment....
''well, the doctors really do not want you to tell them what you think it is or what to do for any ailments.''
I don't understand why you are upset; she was talking about the doctors, not you, and her comment was pretty much right on. Unless I am misunderstanding.
I have some problems, probably fibro or a rheumatoid thing, and am going to doctors now for a workup. I do a LOT of research and I know a lot. But, in my experience so far, if you tell a doctor what you think it is, most will do everything in their power to prove you wrong or will just say no, if they don't think of it first. It's called arrogance and yes a holier than thou attitide.
So I guess I don't understand why this upset you.
What kind of aunt ?
You should have asked my brother about that. He did not talk with me for the last 5 years of his life because I married a black guy. He also decided to keep his children away from me. That was his decision. That was what he wanted. The SIL remarried, took her children away, had no contact with my mother hardly, their maternal grandmother (the mother of her husband, remember), no contact with the great maternal aunt of these children. Now go back and ask again what kind of aunt was I?
My aunt used to vacuum her cats.
She used to vacuum the cats, and they loved it. Plus, it got the dander off.
I thought it was the aunt. I'm confused now.
What did the grandmother do?
My aunt, who is just like my mother, told me
just this past weekend when her son sells his property, she plans to go live close by him and his new wife of about a year. I was kinda taken aback as she is up in years but always, always has been really self-sufficient and wanted to be. She broke her hip a year or so ago, recovered from that but still has slowed her down tremendously. She wants to continue doing her housework, gathering her groceries, etc. while having to use a rolling walker. I visit her out of state at least every 2-3 months and call probably every week. She would be moving to another state but the distance for me to travel to the other 1 is probably about the same distance I travel to see her now. I know in my heart she would never had said nor made this decision had it not been for her feeling the need to do so. My mother, her sister, has been deceased since the early 90s but she has taken me under her wing and now tells others I am her adopted daughter. She is really precious to me and I appreciate her being in my life.
Just read your post and my aunt the other day
was saying exactly what you were saying, was there not a good place that I could go to for a diagnosis on what my problems are. I do not know of a place like this at all. I can self-refer myself to a physician and usually do as I know about as much as the people I run into in the offices. After all my years of typing on all kinds of diseases, treatments and such, I do not need a person say 30 or more years younger than me to explain a diagnosis to me. I am sure I could tell them more than they could tell me. Just went to an urgent care place today for 1 of my problems and refused to weigh- the person taking history said I would have to because they would have to know my weight in order to give medication. I told them most medicines I know come in say 10, 15, 20 mg and I never weigh at any office and I see nephrologist, general, endocrinologist, etc. I refused to weigh, still got to see the physician and guess what, nothing prescribed! I probably have been in the medical field longer than this person on earth. on well, enough venting for the night.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I remember my aunt calling (sm)
to tell my mother that her boss had died. He was like a member of the extended family and the first person whom I knew well to die. I was maybe 11 or 12 and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I can only imagine your pain.
Sounds like you are indeed a Great aunt!
nm
carpal tunnel maybe......my aunt described
xx
I have an aunt that has it and she has to watch her sodium, did your sm
doctor tell you about that? (stay away from high sodium food).
Did you at least show concern for her aunt?
See, when I read this, the first thing that jumped out was this woman had an aunt IN THE HOSPITAL HAVING TESTS DONE.
I hope while you were in the process of berating her grasp of the fine art of pronouncing various words that you at least inquired as to the welfare of her aunt.
I'm sure the woman had more on her mind under these circumstances than making sure she cleaned up her grammatical skills.
You better believe it was! I would say better than the drink!!!
GOOD FOR YOU!
I drink at
Folgers instant.
I once owned an espresso machine, but the coffee gave me nystagmus :)
My aunt reported a Walmart employee
who left the ladies' room without washing her hands.
My aunt, kids grandmother, dads Mom.
Sorry for the confusion.
Going to my aunt & uncle's house as usual
My husband, my parents, and I all drive down to my aunt and uncle's house every year. We usually bring something like pumpkin and/or apple pie.
You are comparing your aunt's boss to someone's child?
Sorry, just an odd response. There is nothing that compares to the loss of one's child. My heart goes out to the other poster.
Get this, older aunt of mine, DIL called and said if anything happens
to her- can you give me a call, in other words when she dies. This aunt is also great aunt to my son- I asked the DIL why don't you go to see her now (she is in middle 80s)- always an excuse, no car, no this, no that. She lives driving distance, about 170 miles from here. Just pitiful is all I can say- I visit her every 3-4 months and call her weekly.
Don't throw me down, Clark. I won't, Aunt Bethany
Geezus, you couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
(Christmas Vacation)
My aunt married a guy 28 years older
than her with 4 children, 2 older than her. (his 1st wife died when their youngest was 4, 10 years previously). They were married for 37 years, had 2 kids of their own, and everything worked for them, marired until he died. She and his family got along great, her parents on the other hand, had a rough time dealing with it until their 1st child was born.
My aunt went in the hospital for heart problems...sm
While in there they posted a sign on the door that said contagious or something to that effect. Well the family was like what does she have. The nurse said MRSA. They were like what? She has no symptoms. So later the doctor came in and explained she was a CARRIER of MRSA. She herself would never get symptoms of it cause she was immune due to being a carrier. But she can pass it on. I had never heard of this before and still don't understand it completely. It happened though.
My drink on break
I think today at the mall I will order something to drink that I hate instead of getting what I like. That way I can complain. Same theory as continuing to read what one considers immature and boring in lieu of just going on and developing your own constructive topics that you like.
Thanks...and I drink almost never...I occasionally buy (sm)
wine coolers or something and leave them in the fridge thinking they will last me a couple of months and every time I go to look for one they are all gone (even though he claims not to even like them).
Does either one drink in excess?
If so go with the other. lol
I know I don't drink enough water...sm
I also have interstitial cystitis (chronic bladder inflammation) so I should definitely be drinking more water than I do. When I drink any carbonated drink, my bladder hurts the next day. I had a cystoscopy in September to diagnose this, and my bladder was all red and inflamed with little red pinpoint bleeding in it. When I do pee tests I have chronic white blood cells from the inflammation. So yes I would say I need to drink lots of water.
Your drink of choice?
Tonight I will be having club soda, cranberry juice and vodka with a twist of lime. Maybe two.....
I have a liquor cabinet filled, so what can I get ya?
rarely drink but when I do...
blended mudslide or white russian please!!!
:)
have a good one
HECK NO!! I can eat what i want, drink what i want
it's time to eat all the cheesburgers and milkshakes I want!!! I'm looking forward to old age :)
I have had a drink while typing but ....sm
usually just one and I don't get drunk.
I never drink while working.
Or work while drinking. I have done homework for school while drinking, however. Back deck, barbecue, Corona with lime, and the laptop.
Your aunt is a wise woman, and she is a strong person
for being a Pastor's wife. For some reason, Pastors seem to be the most difficult to understand about how to be sensitive to people, when it is their job to do so. No offense to pastors and to my husband. But when I loved him best when he delivered pizza and Sunday mornings I still feel put off. And those are the mornings I am probably the most up in arms about this control issue. I dont think that is what the Bible meant either. Thanks for your comment. Your aunt also sounds like she was a great example to women and men alike as the pastor's wife. :)
Drink plenty of water...
I try to start my day with a pitcher of ice water on desk, like a 2-liter bottle and try to drink that during my shift, which really helps. Hubby and I went on program with Dr. and took Adipex and B12/B complex and followed the attached diet. We were on 1500 cal/day and he lost 65 and I lost 35. We quit taking the adipex but stayed with the diet. I lost 30 on this same diet several years ago too. It is well rounded. Somewhere I have an 1800 cal if you are interested. You don't count calories, it is already figured out for you. Daily meal plan gives you a break down of what to eat in a day (1 bread, 1 fruit, etc)and then the individual breakdown (breads, meat, etc.) lets you know what these include. (i.e. 1 bread - 1 slice of bread, 1 fruit 1 small apple or 1/2 cup canned fruit). No expense of buying diet products and you can eat regular food with your family. Funny. We used to eat 2 center cut chops a piece and with this we would split 1! There are free foods too so you could pile up a big salad for lunch and save other stuff for dinner. We did not quit drinking sodas, just switched to diet cokes 0 calories as opposed to 140 or so per drink. Good luck.
http://www.gatepharma.com/Adipex-P/Diet_Index.html
Of course! Just don't eat or drink while you're reading
s
I was one of the ones who was able to drink at age 18 back in the 1970s
I really don't have a problem with it, at all, but maybe for the 18-21 year old crowd, there should be a license, the same for driving. In fact, link the two together. Take a written test to get a tag to the driver's license that will allow the young person to purchase alcohol. If there are any infractions such as drunk in public, for instance, not only is the drinking privilege revoked, but so, too, the drivers license.
Barring that, as another posted stated, I say raise minimum military service age to 21.
Oh please, some people can drink responsibly
and it's nice to have a glass of wine socially here and there. This is not about that.
Try both *ROFL* - drink away *chuckles*...
today is my day off, think I'll join ya.......*lol*
My favorite hot Starbucks drink is...
a grande soy pumpkin spice latte with no whip cream. I have acquired a taste for coffee though, so I can't really tell you if they have a strong coffee taste. Their frozen frappacino things don't taste much like coffee - my 11-year-old niece loves them and she obviously does not like coffee! I say try their smallest size (a tall) and see what you think of the hot lattes. The talls only have 1 shot of espresso and the mediums (grande) have 2 shots.
My favorite coffee drinks are the frozen coffees at Baskin Robbins. You can get whatever kind of ice cream you want mixed with their coffee mix - to die for. I only let myself get 1 or 2 a year though because they are very fattening and expensive. Ice Rages are also delicious cold coffee drinks, and you can get them almost anywhere. The cookies and cream flavor doesn't taste like coffee to me. mmmm, now I need to go and have a cup of coffee! Just an fyi in case you didn't know - a regular cup of coffee suposedly has about 135 mg of caffeine and a shot of espresso has about 35 mg. That's what I read in a magazine anyway, so a latte (with just 1 shot of espresso) is mostly milk with just a little bit of coffee.
Or you can drink alcohol at home : )
x
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