My 20-year-old son doesn't have curfew...sm
Posted By: PAMT~MDM on 2007-06-21
In Reply to: Does any give their 19 year old a curfew sm - just wondering
He goes to to school about an hour away and comes home almost every weekend. He lives in an apartment all week with 3 of his friends, goes to school and works nights. So, I really get a laugh out of it when he comes home and actually still ASKS if he can do something on the weekend. I appreciate that he does it, but at his age I would expect him to tell me where he will be.
Then there's my 17-year-old daughter. She has to be home by 11:00 because of her junior driver's license. We have 6 more months of that and then I think we will have a problem when she turns 18.
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Curfew for 18-year-old
I have an 18-year-old daughter who is a high school senior and leaving home to go to college in the fall. We had originally set a curfew for her to be home by midnight on weekends, then recently extended it to 1 a.m, much earlier on weeknights. She has a car that was provided by us (an old clunker, but the thing runs) and often goes to friend's houses in the evenings. She is otherwise responsible, has a job, gets good grades and school and gets her homework done. Lately she's come home past curfew a couple times (2 times that I know of - last night I heard the garage door open at almost 4 a.m.). I'm torn as to whether to make a big issue out of this - if she was younger, I most certainly would, but because she is 18 and otherwise a responsible girl, I don't know to what extent I should push this. Any ideas or opinions?
Does any give their 19 year old a curfew sm
I have a 19 year old home from college that has a 1 a.m curfew. I cannot sleep until she gets in and so out of respect I ask her to be home. I don't mind if she has people over after 1 a.m or spend the whole night on the phone. She is fighting this big time. Supposedly she is the only one that has a curfew. She told me that when she talked to her social worker today that she said your mom needs to get over that and let her live. I told my daughter my house, my rules. Now I am wonder ing I am too hard.
My 19 yo does not have a curfew.
Our primary goal as parents is to raise responsible adults. My 19 year old does not have a curfew, but he is a member of this household and owes us the courtesy of minimizing our worry. He tells us where he is going and tells us when he expects to be home. He calls if there are changes in plans. This is no different than the courtesy my husband and I pay each other when we keep each other informed of our whereabouts. When my son turned 18, I told him that I would no longer enforce rules or curfews, but that I had a choice about whether to continue to house him or help him with expenses. He's a very responsible young man, contributes with household chores, works and pays a good deal of his own expenses, and he appreciates the help we give him. Because he acts like an adult, we treat him like one.
Some people are not ready to be treated like adults, even when the calendar says they are over 18. You know your child. If she is a responsible young woman, then it's time to let her go. But if she needs more time to get her adult act together, you have every right to impose house rules.
Curfew......
My son is 18 years old home from college for the summer. We don't give him a curfew. At the end of last year (senior year) he was a nightmare with the attitude and there was constantly war up in my house. By the time he left for college, everyone really needed a break from each other. I had a lot of anxiety about him coming home for the summer, thinking the attitude would be home too, but to my pleasant surprise, he has been a peach so far, so I really don't bug him about what time he is home. Thus far, he has not done anything stu*pid and does not really go out all that much, once or twice a week. If he was a girl, we might have a different view of that. It is such a hard subject and if you feel strongly about it and it is disrupting your life, stick to your guns. We also live in a nice suburb and we know all of his friends that he runs with and feel good about them, so that also may be another concern for you. If it were a different situation, we may handle it differently.
curfew
Our DD, who is 18 now, had an 8:30 curfew on weeknights and 10:30 on weekends when she was 16````no exeptions.
P.S. Forgot to add my curfew time
Until I was 18.....9 p.m. week nights, 10 p.m. weekends. No leeway. Grounded for 2 weeks if I was late. I spent a lot of time grounded and depending on the offense, it was 2 weeks to 2 months. Pretty hard to have a social life that way.
In my home if she kept arguing the curfew would change to 11,
Nineteen is old enough to respect you and be considerate of your rules.
Hey, have at it. If you want a lazy, apathetic, not affectionate, doesn't listen, doesn't make
can reach him!!! Let me know if you're interested.
It doesn't make me mad but it doesn't sound intelligent either (sm)
I am sure if all of those people who were aborted were living, some would be good and some would be bad, in the same proportion as there is good to bad now. Your statement makes no sense. So somehow the babies who were aborted were meant to be aborted because they were bad seeds? Whatever. Sorry, that's just silly.
It doesn't always work that way though - some give but it doesn't come back like that nm
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Bigger issue - a 16 year old living withi a 29 year old and liability
Are you still not responsible for him until he is 18, how can he tell you where he will live? Unless he emancipates himself and he does something wrong, can they go against you since you are his mother and legally responsible for him? I worry more about him living with a 29 year old sister rather than returning a house key to me that is a bigger issue.
My 14-year-old is going to be a mother-in-law (so funny) if you google it and 11-year-old daughter
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Won $2,000 on slot machine on New Year's Eve. What a way to start the year. nm
!
Set my budget a year in advance, save all year and
nm
What a difference a year makes! Last year, sm
we had the same problem. Fines everywhere for watering.
Paid $60,000 on principal last year and this year
planning on another $30,000 after my taxes paid for the year. We are getting our house paid down very quickly.
55-year old woman has birthday sex with 12-year old
DAYTON - Gloria Murphy gave children celebrating her 55th birthday alcohol and then had sex with a 12-year-old boy at the party on Thursday, Jan. 29, according to police.
The boy got into Murphy’s bed at 5440 Rawlings Drive, where the married woman had sex with her adolescent neighbor, according to police and Montgomery County prosecutors.
Two of the children at the party ran home at about 6 a.m. Jan. 30 and told a parent they saw the boy and woman having sex, according to 911 audio.
The parent then called police at about 6:15 a.m., according to a police report and 911 audio.
Murphy did not force the boy to have sex, but since he is younger than 13, it is considered rape, Lt. Patrick Welsh said. No other children were involved in the sexual encounter, but some other children at the party consumed alcohol, according to police.
A 17-year-old would have the same goals as a 20 year old (sm)
Only the 20 year old is hopefully more responsible and based on what you say about his character, would be a better choice than someone her own age.
I have a 9-year-old son that sounds just like your 10 year old...
Lately he has been so negative about everything...trying to make him have a good summer and whenever I take him somewhere, he is just a brat when we get home...I think they are called tweens at this age...not quite teenagers but have the attitude like one---LOL
We skipped it entirely last year, and THIS year?
This 40-year-old got dumped for a 30-year-old
http://www.gqmagazine.co.uk/CoolNewStuff/Photos.aspx?StoryID=53859
This year will be our 35th year
The first couple years it was literally 5 or 6 times a day every day (more on the weekends). Over time it gradually slowed down (once a day) and over the past few years its been 2 or 3 times a week. Not sure that is average or not. There were times were I felt it was too much and him not enough, then there were times where I wanted it more and he didn't. Guess everyone goes through a phase. I guess because of how long we've been together, now it's just comfortable - nothing exciting about it. Just a routine. I have to make it exciting in my mind and pretend I'm someone else.
I don't know what it is, but you are correct...after awhile the lust and infatuation wears off and you get in a routine. I guess for us it was that we really didn't know each other when we married (we dated for 3 weeks then eloped). Once I got to know him it was too late. Now 35 years later it is just comfort (and amazingly we never once used birth control and never had any kids). My mom still tells me she's amazed at the frequency of our encounters that not even once did I even have a "close call" with getting pregnant.
But 35 years once or twice a week and 3 or 4 times on weekends. Not sure if that is normal.
That actually doesn't look that bad!
I love pork especially at a pig roast...by the end of the day the meat just falls off the bones it is so tender. Doesn't look too terrifying!
Doesn't take much to get you going does it? nm
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If a dog doesn't have anything
to do, he will occupy himself. His thing is barking, which isn't fair to the neighbors. I had a neighbor who'd let his laborador bark for hours on end while I was trying to work. Almost drove me insane. To catch a break I'd occasionally take a rawhide, stuff all the cracks with peanut butter, and throw it over the fence. Ah, blessed peace for a while.
Cesar Millan has a website. I'm sure you can get lots of ideas there. It's all about exercise, discipline and then affection. You have to communicate your leadership and also use up his energy and teach him what it is you expect of him.
Why doesn't she get her own
It sounds to me like she wants you to pay her bills. She'll have to find a job and get a roommate like any one of us would. Why should you compromise what you have with your boyfriend when she'll be coming age very soon and can be out on her own? Let her know she's welcome to visit or whatever, but you'd rather see her pursue her own living quarters. 
That is my mom, she just doesn't get
it. She also thinks it is because of my husband. Nobody is good enough for me. Doesn't matter who it is. She has been telling everyone it is because she will not lend us money. My husband and I both work our butts off and have never borrowed money from anyone but the bank.
My brother and I have not been the closest and about two weeks ago, I called him. I now believe that a lot of reason why we are not close is due to my mother. He is four years younger and I was out of the house by the time he was 13. I always got my mother's point of view of what was going on with him and I should have known better. She told me he doesn't talk to her because she won't lend him money. He and I thought we didn't have a lot in common, so most of the communication was between him and my mom, then mom would "tell" me. He doesn't want her to see his son either, but being that he is divorced, his ex-wife allows her to see him. He said that she was always intervening in his life, no matter what it was. She kicked him out of her home when he was 15 and he has never looked back. He now has his PhD as a recent graduate and is very successful. We both believe it is a control issue with her.
That leads to this, I have researched grandparents rights as well. In Michigan, as long as the parents are married and fit parents, grandparents have no rights. If you were never married, separated or divorced or worse yet, proved to be unfit, then they have rights to see the children. Something to think about.
He doesn't like going out...
im at a loss because I am a social butterfly and I want the man that I love with me all the time. Don't get me wrong i LOVE my girls nights out, but I want him there sometimes. I think this is one of the main issues holding me back from getting married. I do respect that he doesn't like to dance, or go to bars... but he doesn't even like to go to my friend's houses... He is a little on the shy side and I have been with him 6 years (and we have known each other since we were in 7th grade - about 15 years-, lived down the street from each other...) And I can't see myself without him but I know this is keeping me from marrying him because I want that socialization. Even when we have a family I almost am positive I am going to want to have friends over with their kids... bbq's in the summer... stuff like that and he just isn't like me at all in that way. How do I deal with this? Oh yea even if he is willing to compromise I feel like he hates it though and that is still really hard for me to deal with. If he is just sitting there not having fun that's almost worse than him not coming at all... :( we are at a crossroads right now and that is why i am asking. we either stay together or dont...
I think the same way - if the OP doesn't
like the smoke, then she'd best look elsewhere. It's not fair to say "smoke outside" when they are paying the rent, too. Some people just amaze me!
mine doesn't...
I make Paula Deen's southern cornbread dressing...go to Food Network's site and look up the recipe. It's yummy, has no meat whatsoever, and makes a ton of dressing...HAPPY HOLIDAYS...
My mother's doesn't either...
Made with Pepperidge farm stuffing mix, white wine, mushrooms, celery, onions, chopped walnuts, seasoning. Not sure what else but it's different and delicious, still the best I've ever had!
Doesn't sound right
under those circumstances. Then whenever someone wanted new wall-to-wall they could just crap it up themselves and submit a claim and get a new rug.
At any rate, even if this is somehow true, the insurance company will only jack up your rate or drop you all together, so you're going to pay either way. And then you'll have a claim history and no other company will want you either.
I agree, it's more than just pot. Pot doesn't do that. sm
I have heard that taking Niacin helps clear out of your system faster as well as trying to "sweat" it out like he is. He also needs plenty of sunshine and you to be there for him. Rather than turning against him, stuck together with him and help him through it. It will make your relationship so much better in the long run and he needs the love and support of you to help him get to that place. Admire him for trying to break his addiction. It is very addicting. His rollercoaster of sweating, can't sleep, and emotional issues sound more related to crack/crank or methampetamines to me. I'd tell him in order for you to be supportive and helpful to him right now, he needs to at least be honest with you.
I can't tell the difference when something has MSG and when it doesn't. nm
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I am not saying my hubby doesn't look
he just doesn't let me see him looking. Hey, I still look too.
He doesn't like the masks...
my DD has taken over the mask and my kids like to sleep with fans now too. I just turn them off before I go to bed.
She doesn't impress me though
Just something about her... She's like never smiling. Even when he gave her a rose last night, she just looks mad. Could just be the editing.. maybe there's something about her he does like. I think he might like Tessa... and Amber. I can't believe I let myself get into this show again.
With our experience, he doesn't need
We have bought several homes and I have been an IC MT the entire time. I have never had this ask of me. They just want to know what my income has been, as they know being self-employed can mean different amounts from paycheck to paycheck. Of course, if your husband is empoyed somewhere, they will put more thought into that
(they just don't say it). I had loan officers just start talking to my husband as if I'm not in the room just because they hear self-employed and know my husband is not....so they think he'll be the REAL one bringing in a paycheck. So, my husband brings them back in the game, as do I. We let them know both of our checks contribute to this mortgage, not just his. I've noticed the women loan officers are the worst with this, even though you would think they wouldn't be. We both have excellent credit scores and make sure this is the valid point we get across. Just make sure you are not overlooked as being an essential element in this deal. Generally, all the loan officer can go by is what you have made in the past few years, not what you may make in the future as an IC, because as an IC, you may not know what that paycheck will bring or if you'll even be with the same company 6 months from now. But again, I have never had this asked of me.
It all has to start somewhere doesn't it?
xx
But that doesn't apply to every
situation. In my case I got hit with something that was out of my control. I see where you are coming from because most times it is irresponsible spending and debt accruing that causes the problem but not always.
My mom doesn't like when mine rub against her, either
and she doesn't like that the neighbor cats in the development kill the birds at their feeders and also the baby rabbits. I don't especially like that aspect about them either (our 2 stay in the house 24/7) but it comes in handy in the house when we have a mouse. I know of people who go out of their way to hit a cat on the road and I think that is so disgusting. Makes me sad because of how much I love my cats.
What is funny though is that my male cat gravitates to my mother whenever she is here. He will just sit by her chair and stare at her with his big, golden, unblinking eyes. It really freaks her out!
He doesn't really look like he has aged all that much
in the last 10 years or so. I think he looks almost exactly the same as he did way back in his ER days!
Ugh, doesn't sound
too fun! Don't want to go to the hospital. That's why I figure it's past time to quit. My son is scared of me dying anyway. I told my husband no need in making his fear come true!
Why doesn't your son work? (sm)
I understand with all those children it may not even be worth it for the mom to work (child care would take all her earnings) but why doesn't your son work? Sounds like my sister. She has been living off of my parents for years.
It doesn't look sore, red or anything. Just
xx
How do you know he doesn’t like you/kids
You said he kept things under wrap. Your mother should not have to choose between you/your children and her husband. How old a person is he? Other things going on with him/them that you know of? Lot of people in older years PUT UP with children- that does not mean they want to be around them. I know you said you did not stay at the home with them. Do not ask your mother to choose, though. That is probably the reason she has not answered you. You as well as your siblings probably picked the ones you want and may not believe this but if left up to your mother and she had to choose, it might not be you and your family.
Thank goodness he doesn't eat
anything in front of the window, he just swoops, grabs and goes. He uses my front yard as sort of a "drive thru" I guess. He is a very pretty and majestic bird. I've tried to get pics of him, but my camera doesn't zoom far enough.
We also have Great Horned Owls that live in our pine trees out back. All through the summer I would hear them hooting. So I staked out the window one night so I could maybe get a peak at them and I actually saw one of them fly out of the tree, it was huge!
I just feel bad for my little feathered friends. I guess that's nature though.
Sorry for rambling, love to talk about my nature.
Doesn't bother me
For some women it takes more than soap and water. Not a biggie.
Doesn't bother me at all either
Some people need it. It's really no big deal.
Doesn't everybody use foil now?
I have never seen the other process done; just heard about it. I'm sure the foil is less physically stressful to the hair.
I bet the OP doesn't consider it "nothing."
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