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Missing funeral

Posted By: Jane Doe on 2007-09-05
In Reply to: What to do when you are going to be out of town - and will miss the funeral and visitation-sm

Male a donation in the girl's name to the Natinal Kidney Foundation or some other kidney charity with a nice note.


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funeral

I think the Harley guys are actually Vietnam war vets.  We had the same thing happen here - the Kansas group is not making many converts to their way of thinking. 


Funeral
I know they keep saying if you do not agree with a post...DO NOT RESPOND..... so they have to BLACK to grieve.....
Funeral
Not flaming you.....very good post.....
oh wow! why protest at someone's funeral?--sm
How about a little compassion for the family of the one who was killed? my goodness. this is not the place to hold an anti-war protest!!! Most of these soldiers probably had no choice in where they were sent while serving out country. I am against the war too, but as much as I am against it, I would leave the families of the departed to grieve in peace. how rude! How do the bikers get involved in keeping the peace??? sorry, I just really don't know about all of this.
Not worse than the funeral I went to
NM
funeral protester
Is it that same woman with her 8 kids that were picketing the soldiers funerals. That woman is a disgusting disgrace and they should arrest her for disturbing the peace. That ugly SOB. All she wants is media coverage and she should be arrested for child abuse for making her kids learn all this nonsense she is spewing out. I would like to see the people take it upon theirselve to knock the crap out of this woman and have he police just stand by and let her get the crap beat out of that scumball.
There is a funeral in our area this weekend for ...
a soldier killed in Iraq and just found out those wonderful people from Kansas are planning to attend. 
Song not any worse than my at the funeral I went to
Cousin knew she was dying from cancer. My 90-year-old father there and unbelieve, she was always something else, started off with Ole Timey Rock and Roll and the end of the funeral was Somewhere Over the Rainbow. My father said, well I never. I had not either but her choices.
maybe the funeral home has an on-line
site to offer words or comfort to the family. I've seen a couple of these. What to say? just what is on your heart, "cannot find words to express..", that your heart hurts with them...you care...
I keep dreaming about going to a funeral and in the middle SM
of the service the deceased gets up and falls on ME!   No kidding. Two nights ago TWO of them in one night!   What the hay does that mean???   I need your wisdom and guidance! 
the funeral thing could be entirely new thread
At times like that the kids are a good reminder that life goes on, and that we live on in our kids, grandkids, etc.
Pianists out there - I need music for a funeral
for a friend who is dying - the Irish tune, Danny Boy.  He has asked that it be played at his funeral.  Would anyone be willing to send me a copy?  I will pay for postage.  Thanks.
can people say goodbye without a funeral?

 


I think i will be faced with this predicament before too long.  Husband says he does not want a funeral.  Yet i wonder if his kids can say their farewells and be emotionally okay without one?   anyone with experience or thoughts on this?


My mom ddnt want a viewing or funeral

I tried to uphold her wishes but her one sister did not have "closure" without some sort of pomp, so five months after mom died (was cremated), I held a small service  at the cemetery (didn't want to, but wanted the aunt to have her "closure." She never showed up!


Both hubby and I are not going to have a viewing or funeral and the kids know it. I'm getting cremated, while he wants to be buried the regular way 'cuz he hates being hot. LOL


You can have closure without the above. In fact, in my case, it just brought all the sadness back to the surface and it took me another couple months to get back to normal again. Think of it this way, as mom used to say: "I want people to remember me as I was, not as I am."


Hope this helps.


A funeral is not the time or place for your friend to take a stance over something done 10 yrs ago.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but for your friend to even "think" about saying anything right now would be selfish and inconsiderate. He has had 10 years to deal with this issue. Why now??

I really tried to look at this issue from all angles and to be honest, just really don't "get it." I can't understand why anyone would feel the need to change a name they have had for at least 18 years. If my daughter changed her name, I would be absolutely devastated. Unless she was in the Witness Protection Program, I would continue to call her by the name she was given after 26 hours of labor and delivery. I'm not sure I could call her by another name even if I wanted to. It may not sound like much, but your friend is really asking a lot from people. Old habits DO die hard and this is so much more than just a habit.

If a friend of mine did this and it meant THAT much to her, I suppose I would try to make her happy. Without knowing all of the details, it's hard say for sure. One thing I do know is that if your friend is going to address this, he needs to wait for the appropriate opportunity. The timing he chooses could have a significant impact on the outcome.

Do you mind me asking why your friend did something this drastic?
I personally think the funeral is what makes you an emotional wreck.
Funerals compound the grief for me. The dark lighting, the sad music, the morbid displaying of a dead body in the casket! No way for me. I hope to God my parents don't want funerals.
Memorial service, no problem.
I think the traditional funeral service is antiquated and just makes things worse.

Not missing anything
I read time and time again about someone asking how to do all this, take care of the kids, do the housework. I am in the same boat as you, doing the same type work, independent. If you own your own business, then you make the rules but you still have rules, even a boss or your business fails. I hear complaints about not being taken as professional. Nope, won't get there with the housewifey type posts I see. A lot of the posts I see would never make it out in the real work force (that is going to an inhouse job). Too many conflicts to take care of at home.
maybe I am missing something here--sm
but I work all the time and really do not keep up on the news and such, so who are these people from Kansas, and what do they do when they go to funerals of soldiers who have fought in Iraq? I am just curious. I don't know anything about this. thanks.
You might be missing something very sm
important. Your grandmother seemed to hang onto her lucidity until she got to see you again. Her last words to you were filled with love. She said "goodbye" her way, probably the best way for your earthly relationship to end.

Anybody else get that impression?
Missing Mom from RI sm

http://www.helpfindkatie.com/info.htm


The above is a website for a Lincoln, RI woman who was suffering from post-partum depression. She disappeared after a short stay in a hospital and was last seen in Newport, RI trying to sell a piece of jewelry. Someone thought they saw her on a bus to NY City but no leads so far. Those of you who have walk the walk must realize how the system has failed us. Please look at her picture and keep her in your thoughts. Thanks


Not missing out, they are, no $$$ from me
I really tried, seriously but when it came down to the nitty gritty and you want to hurt my feelings, NO, NO. I quit. One I talk with, back and forth, not buddy-buddy and would not think I could call on just to call on. The other child, came down to money with that 1 so I am gone like the wind. I am just a lot happier now that the children are grown and on their own.
missing my mom
Hi there.  I lost my mom 6 years ago.  I miss her dearly.  I feel strongly that she is still close by me and truly believe it without a doubt. My favorite memory is sitting at the table having coffee, and she would tell me stories of her childhood as she had lots of uncles and aunts and her dad was an alderman and a bandleader in the 40s and 50s.  There were some funny and very interesting ones.  They lived in a big house with 13 rooms and people used to call it grandcentral station.  Sadly they tore the house down 2 years ago as no one was left in the family except for neices,nephews,cousins and some thought they made the right decision in tearing it down because the area just was not what it used to be and I guess because it was sentimental to the older cousins they didn't want anyone just living in it because they grew up there too.  We feel like a part of history is gone now. We can't believe how small the lot looks where a big house once was. 
What you are missing here is
when you reach a certain age, you can say and do what you pretty much want to. Instead of worrying, will my MIL/FIL/spouse, etc., etc. care, you don't. What others do is say -- well they're old and you are excused for being tyrant, crude, obnoxious, etc., etc. We worry so much when we are young, will I be accepted, what should I say, how will so and so think about me- that being old gives you the opportunity to say have finally reached the age where I just don't care what others think, say, do. One of the good things about aging.
Need help know I am missing something.

I am not a Matha Stewart type.  I have to cook which I love, but I am missing something: 


 


Menu:  Spiral sliced ham, potato salad, cheese ball, and snowball cookies.  A raw vegetable plate would be perfect but I am cooking for elderly and they cannot eat raw veggies (edentulous).   I know I am missing something, any suggestions?


there are 7? I am missing out, but all
I can remember about the last one I read was a reunion and her daughter had found someone, too. At the very end, she said, "you tell them the Campbells are coming" Was that book 4? This was years ago and I gave up looking for any more, they were so hard to fine here, the ones I found were about the only one on the shelf.
This is the last on this, seems like you are missing a
screw somewhere- I said I can pay cash if I want, I have in the bank, 3 accts and come May my income will more than double what my salary per month is now. Clear cash of almost 4500 a month, no taxes, nothing out of that except what I want to spend and I do and will continue and will still have my banking accts and do not intend to draw off of those. Last for this. I am sorry others are in so much deep debt with debtors breathing down their necks but this is not my issue.
Now I know what I have been missing
good old Spam. You can eat it straight out of the can or you can fry. Hey, I even know a lady who barbecues hers on the grill.
my dog has been missing...sm

My husky, Carlito, has been missing for 4-1/2 weeks.  He is 13-1/2 years old and has some arthritis in his hips, and seems to be getting hard of hearing because sometimes he will jump when I'm near him, like he didn't hear me there beside him.  He's been an outside dog most of his life, so I'm not worried about him and the weather, but I am worried about the fact that there are a lot of wooded areas around my town, and a main road that leads out of the small town I live in that goes from 25 mph in town, to 55 mph right outside of town. I haven't seen him on the side of the road anywhere right near town. I've called the animal shelter every couple of days asking if anyone has called reporting seeing him. I called the first day I realized he was gone, but they had no one working that saturday, and I didn't hear from them till Monday when I called again, and they said 2 people called saying they saw him within a hour after I called them.  She gave me their numbers, but they said they hadn't seen him since that same day I called...that was 4-1/2 weeks ago.


On Mother's day (last weekend), went to see my step-mom. she is pretty blunt when she talks, she doesn't mean anything by it, its just her way, she is a very nice person in the fact that she does what she can for people and is very helpful. But, on Mother's day she told me when I mentiond he was still missing "he's probably dead by now."


That upset me, but now that its been another week and still no sighting of him, signs posted at the local store windows asking for anyone to call if they've seen him have had no results....its been a little over a month. I was hoping to move this summer, though not finalized if I am or not. Its just me and my son and we were going to move to a different city here in WV.  I worry that if I leave, he will miraculously show up and we will be gone...but people keep telling me to give up that he's been gone a whole month with no responses to flyers, no one calling to report him to the animal shelter for pick up, and he's old and that I should give up on him.


I guess I just want some opinions, would you give up? At what point do you say "well, I'm going to get rid of his cage then"...if he is gone and not coming back, I'm going to clean up his back yard and get rid of his house and bowls because its just a sad reminder every time I go out back that he's missing...but if he returns, then I'll have gotten rid of them for nothing.


I know, this is totally insignificant, but he's my doggie I've had him for 13-1/2 years, he's been with me through my divorce, keeping my feet warm when I cried my eyes out when I was going through my divorce and had my 1 year old child. He let my now 8 year old pull on his tail and his ears and never once growled or snapped at him. I just miss him and just wonder even for my son's sake, when do you just say he's not coming back and try to move forward without guilt?


fav things/missing mom

have to say my fav thing was summers in WV as a child with family...many of whom are dead.  It was so pretty up there and innocent...playing in the "holler" and mountains, blackberries, and just a sense that all was right in the world.  My mom's been dead for almost 20 years (1 week) and I still miss her, but know she's looking out for me down here while she's up there with my dad and sister.  Life goes on but it's hard w/o parents, even as a grown up. 


Ladies, you all are missing so much
I just got back from a wonderful, wonderful vacation today. I read below the women writing in about their husbands and the lives they have to lead. I wrote a post earlier about going out west- I go on 1 vacation that I want to and then my hubby and I go to Las Vegas together. I have visited 6 states in 7 days including Utah, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Idaho and South Dakota. I do my own vacation each year - my hubby is a long distance driver and to take a trip like this would be just too much more traveling for him- last year Alaska. I meet up with a tour with others from all walks of life. I had 1 lady ask me on the trip "did you husband LET you come on this." I told her we are way past the age of letting 1 another do anything. Women, why in the world don't you wake up?? There are so many really good men out there that would love you, be really good to you. You do not have to put up with crap. You are wasting your life away. I have said this before and will say again- one of these days you will look back and wonder where your life has gone, in a flash you will find yourself in your 50s or 60s and why should you put up with anything other than the best in life? I have a honey of a husband that I adore, love and cherish with all my heart. He is my best friend and there is not enough money on this earth to take the place of him. He never fusses, screams, or even gets upset with me. The most even tempered person I have ever met. He is short, balding and the most sexy man I think I could ever meet. I thank the Man upstairs for this man in my life.
YOU are missing the point!
The public humiliation in front of the entire class (60+ kids with more than half of them immature boys)was absolutely uncalled for and was going too far.

It's her FIRST period. She is NOT going to wear a tampon if she is uncomfortable with it.

To have a teacher loudly announce to the world that you have your period and then take it further to suggest that you stick a foreign object into your vagina at the age of 13 is mortifying to ANY young girl.

Not only that, some people simply cannot wear tampons for various reasons. It's really nobody else's business is it!

I think you are missing the point. When the OP
it up. I got the impression that they did not think of it as being wrong, as she was not protecting herself at school, but to and from school. Also, I did not say she should not be told not to bring it and I guess should still get suspended if it actually broke the rules, but its a lessoned learned and she still needs protected. You make it sound like the mother and the child are just being defiant and trying to start trouble. I think the whole thing was an innocent mistake.
missing my family

Yesterday something happened that really put me in a glum mood. I went to Starbucks for a coffee before coming home to work. I opened the door and a guy sitting there looked up at me, did a double take, got that look of recognition, then adjusted his headphones and went back to the book he was reading.


He is my neice's husband, the couple I asked just a few months ago if they would take care of my granddaughter if anything happened to me before she is grown. BTW, they had a baby a few months ago and didn't tell me about it, which means she was pregnant when I was asking them about being the godparents, far enough along to know and didn't tell me then, either.


He would not have talked to me, but I took the 2 steps to reach him and called him by name.  He instantly!! said my name, so there was no doubt he had made the choice not to acknowledge me when he saw me.  They are living in Scotland, so bumping into him at my local coffee shop is somewhat unusual and I don't understand how he could be so rude.  We were supposed to get together for this Christmas...they have been here 2 weeks and not a word to me to get together with them.  I had no idea they were back in the States yet.


But that got me to thinking. My sister (neice's mom) won't talk to me because she is after my mother's inheritence. My mom has done some really hurtful things to me and I can't have a relationship with her because every time I try, it's the same thing every time...I just don't have the energy for that. I found out my other sister that I am try to be close to (she won't contact me for months, then all of a sudden shows up on my door all concerned about me) has been feeding lies to my mom about me and my kids, so now I don't trust her to tell her anything.  I found out she said she was glad I was back living in the area because now HER family looks better than MY family as being the blacksheeps of the family.  She is after my mom's money too.  I have always been the one who was honest with my mom - maybe the reason I always get hurt when I try to stay in contact with her, because she is naive and I would tell her what my sisters were doing to her. My sisters manipulate her and she falls for whatever they tell her.  My brother died just 3 years ago of cancer at the age of 45 (two years older than me).


Since my daughter brought me her child to raise, that split everyone else up too... people saying I'm a child stealer while (surprisingly) my ex's family feel like I saved the child from the state taking the child.  I am in the process of adopting her now, but that means my daughter won't have anything to do with me.  When it started, I was helping her out...now I'm a vindictive witch, except last week when we were in front of the judge cuz she got a contempt charge for failure to pay child support and my daughter didn't want to go to jail.  THEN she was nice to me to keep her out of jail.


I don't know if I''m overreacting or just feeling lonely. I feel like my granddaughter is now my only real family.  I'm so sad because I grew up with a huge family, over 2 dozen cousins, almost as many neices and nephews and now their kids...and nobody keeps a realtionship with anybody else and everybody just seems to be brown nosers to get money (something I don't do). I'm also sad because I can't show my granddaughter what a real family is supposed to act like since there isn't any real extended family to stay in regular contact with.  My ex's family only see her on a couple of major holidays during the year even though I encourage them to visit whenever they want.


Sorry, just wanted to get it off my chest...maybe I'm not the only one going through something like this during the holiday season. 


Missing point...
That is what I am talking about. It doesn't matter what age you are. If it is something you enjoy then do it.  Why not.  We are all going to die soon enough.  I listen to the same music now I did when I was 20 simply because that is what I like.  It makes me feel good.. I exercise to it.. Not because I want to be younger than my grandchildren, but because it is what I do.  I enjoy life and I don't connect it with stereotypes.  If you enjoy quiet times and calm music then go for it.  It is just simply whatever we enjoy as individuals. All I am saying is we should not be clumped in behavior category because of our age.  That's simply all.  Wear your hair any length you like if that is what makes you feel good. 
My husband is missing

I came home from work tonight and noticed a man that resembled my husband sitting in our kitchen watching TV. I began to converse with this man who I believed was my husband only to find out he's not my husband. I was faced with a hostile irritable male figure who was complaining with not an ounce of happiness. 


I continued to listen to words that didn't make sense in my book until I couldn't take anymore and went upstairs to fold and put away laundry. I then hear this man downstairs coughing like a mad man. You'd think I'd run to the rescue, but for a total stranger, I think not! So I do the next best thing, turn up the volume on my TV as I'm puttering around doing laundry. I then hear him climbing the stairs to my bedroom complaining that he almost choked to death and where was I? I simply rolled my eyes at this creature and walked out of the bedroom where he is now sleeping in MY bed


So I beg of you, if you find my husband please send him home as I'm not so sure who or what this thing is that is sleeping in my bed - Thanks So Much!!


Missing husband . . .
Have you ever noticed that it happens around the time of a full moon? My husband and the husband/boyfriends of some of my friends all seem to be in miserable mode every full moon and they talk about women! We've actually been discussing this. It happens every month. They pick fights or are just miserable in general during the full moon phase. *Sigh*
They found the missing Boy Scout

So I guess if your kid every gets lost or goes missing - sm
you won't be going to the police because you don't like them, or if you are in a car accident or are robbed or mugged you won't call the police because you don't like them, or you witness a murder but you won't call the police because you don't like them. Boy, what an incredible attitude to have, police help uphold the law and order in our country, yeah, no one likes getting a ticket or seeing them in the rearview mirror, but you do go to them for help (at least most of us do, but I guess not you).
Madeleine (missing girl)
I always found it really, really strange that they would leave their kids alone and go off to dinnner in this day and age with all the bad things that can happen.  Even if they were close by having dinner, those kids are all still babies!  What mother in their right mind would do that? 
What is a 'suck jerk'? Am I missing something?
.
I had mentioned to her before about missing things
so this was the straw, you might as well say, that broke this camel's back. My hubs told me several times about things missing- I am not saying made from gold but stealing is still stealing whether you steal a pair of panties or my towels or cleaning solutions or whatever I have worked hard to get and why should I let anyone steal from me? And, bottom line on this, I brought her back over to my home to find the panties (I had placed in top drawer)- she opened the first drawer, the 2nd and the last and no panties- downcast eyes, never said she did not take. If I were accused of something I think I would speak up and say no, I did not do. She was the only person here besides me- and I let her "try to find them."
You're missing the point entirely.
You talking two separate issues, here, but feeling that one justifies the other.

It is unacceptable to lie on an application for insurance or misrepresent the truth. Period. Flat out. Regardless of any other situation you are interested in.

The rising cost of insurance is a concern for just about everyone involved. However, it does NOT justify lying, cheating, stealing insurance dollars and benefits just because you don't like it.

Geesh.

And by the way -- if you don't like other people's wealth, go get your own. You are the only one holding yourself back.

Labor Day menu - what else am I missing?

We are having ribs, brats, hot dogs, burgers, potato salad, deviled eggs, drinks, cake


What other side dishes would work?


The original post seems to have gone missing
so the answer now is to another posting, BTW.
you guys are missing the point, -sm
he has not been using the condoms, may 2 in 6 months, we have sex at least once a week. So if he had an STD or thought he did he would be using them. He had genital warts years ago when we first met, had them burned off a few times (ouch) and used condoms religiously so I would not catch them. To this day I do not have them and he has not had them either for 13 years. So while he cheated with his first wife of 12 years 2-3 times, not affairs, 3 ONS, while once is all it would take with me--does not mean he would continue to do so, some men do learn from past mistakes, some don't. It depends on the person, and as he is honest to the core, painfully so, I really feel I have nothing to worry about. If I am wrong one day I will come back on here and you all can say "I told you so".
Am I missing something? Working at marriage?
I keep hearing people say you have to work at marriage. What am I missing here? I have been married now for almost 10 years and never felt like I had to work at anything to make our marriage work. Are there ladies out there who have a difficult time getting along, money issues, family issues, just what?
I think you're missing the whole heart of the story.
Lots of us are ICs and have flexibility and freedom in our work schedules. We are busy professionals and het stay-at-home moms, and its quite a challenge, yet quite fun, balancing the 2. Not a big disgrace to our profession. We are pros and moms, juggling the 2 as we see fit and as we choose. Its called freedom, and working from home is the entire point for many of us, kids or no kids. I want to walk my dog and talk to the birds, fine - off I go and back to work later. I make the rules, not some invisible boss.
Steve Fossett missing after taking
off in a single engine plane.  Reported missing last night, no flight plan made.  He went out of a small airport in Nevada.  He was the guy who flew around the world in a hot air balloon in 2002 and then around the world in airplane without stopping to re-fuel.
Pertaining to the little girl missing, Madeleine
Am hearing reports that from fluids the police are checking that possibly this child died from an overdose of medications- they are saying the parent(s) gave her "sleeping medicine" in order to sedate her so the father and mother could go out for the evening and the child would sleep. New channels are asking what parents would do this. I as a young mother was prescribed the same type medicine by my son's pediatrician because my son had his nights and days mixed up, wanted to be up all night and sleep during the day. I was told to put in a dropper with his bottle of milk each night. The mother and father here both physicians and they would definitely know what to use to sedate to get their child to sleep through. Just maybe used too much.
Well trust me, you aren't missing a thing! :) nm
,
You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING

He has more (material things) than you do and most men of 60s+.  He has a home that he has worked to own -- not given to him!  Material things do not mean much to me, however.  I make my own living.  He has an engineering and Masters degree.  How many degrees do you have?  He is very athletic!  He has had olympic training.  He is a wonderful man who MANY of you would desire and don't have.  He knows that pleases a woman and EXACTLY what he wants in life.


Most important to me is that he expresses that he is a "God-fearing" man.  There is NOTHING in life more important to me than that!


He has no kids -- not a priority in life for him.  He is too wonderful to describe!  I know more about him than you will ever know about your partner, because we COMMUNICATE. 


Sorry for your skepticism.  But I will take it with a grain of salt, as it deserves to be taken. 


This man is an open book -- but not only that, but he hides nothing. 


WOW is all I can say about him !  Have never met a man like this in my entire life!  He wants to please me, and he is certainly capable of doing that.