Met mine via Great Expectations sm
Posted By: Southern Belle on 2009-04-26
In Reply to: Anyone have any suggestions for meeting nice fellows more middle aged. I have tried - PAMT
I dated many "quality men" via that route in the 90s (many engineers, financial men, oil men, etc.). Only 2 bad ones out of "tntc." One was a legend in his own mind and got kicked out. The other took me to a very nice restaurant, had $/excellent job, decent guy otherwise, but didn't open the door coming or going into the restaurant. That did it for me!
I don't know about it now, as I married from there. But it cost around $3K to join. But they really screened their members carefully, and whenever they caught a married man joining, or someone behaving inappropriately, they were out. Anyway, I was really pleased. But chemistry is just that. Y'all know that game. It either works or it doesn't.
Good luck! It's rough out there!
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
That's great! Mine have the M&Ms guys on them! --LOL!...nm
x
I had mine at 26 and 28. Worked great for me.
I also had a foster son in the mix for a while when the kids were teenagers.
I'm glad that I'm done with the "mommy" duties required for really young children. I can pretty much go where I want when I please now, and I've got the money and health and stamina to do that. Lots of people do really exciting things when they are younger and put off having children. My husband and I decided to save the excitement for after the kids. Works great for us.
Expectations
You may think my parenting style is abusive, but my children tell me all the time that they wish their friends parents would be like us and take control of their children so they would be more responsible. They look at my daughter like she is nuts when she has to call before she she leaves the dance studio to go to dinner between dance classes and she calls when she returns to the studio. It's our rule and she follows it, because she knows its for her safety and well-being. A lot of the girls parents there aren't even aware that they leave the studio for dinner. To me, that is wrong!
If you expect less than perfection, that's what you get. Think of it this way, if you tell your children C's in school are the average, then that is all they will strive for. On the other hand, if you expect your children to get all A's and they try their darndest to get that A and get a B..that's ok, because they aimed for the A, not the C. But if they did not put in 100% effort, then that B is not acceptable and there are repercussions for it.
Just becuase UGU all forget things and make mistakes does not mean that my children need to be raised to think it's ok to do so.
Again, my opinion. :)
You are definitely over the top on expectations - sm
Yes, its good to push your kids to strive to do well and give it their all. We want our kids to get A's too. I am glad to see you say a B is acceptable if they tried hard enough, but what if they did try hard, but you don't think they did, then is the B acceptable? My DH drills my poor kids on things that don't matter, keeps at them like a rabid dog until he gets the answer he wants to hear, and is slowly alienating them. I am the more laid back one, though I dish out the discipline (he wants them to like him at all times). I have told him time and time again to cut the crap and that one day in the not to distant future they will just stop talking to him because of what he does, I dread the day but know it will come. I plan to keep the lines of communication open and they will at least have one parent they can talk to without being drilled to death. I expect your kids will one day to the same. You have to let go and trust some, having your daughter call when she leaves to eat is a bit much. I can see having her call you to get picked up but that is about it. She needs space to learn to be her own person, and not have to check in with mommy every 10 minutes to let you know she is okay. Believe me that will grow old and one day she will just stop doing it and you are gonna freak when that happens. My mom was overprotective but not the the controlling extent you are. I had to tell them where I was going, with whom, if we were going out, what time I'd be back, etc. I was a given freedom but was watched over too. Plus they new my friends well and knew I did not run with a bad crowd or anything. You need to loosen the leash some though if you really want your kids to learn about responsibility, you are way too controlling for your own (and their) good.
Age expectations
I read the post about the hair length below.. I just have to say that I am so tired of women being put into a "Do and Don't" category just because they reach 40 or older. I am 47.. I act 47.. or at least I try too, but when it comes to my hair, my clothes (except for short shorts and mini skirts, which I have never worn), I do what I want as long as it looks attractive and not silly. Short hair, long hair, blue jeans, polyester pants, music, lifestyles, television shows... we are all expected to behave a certain way and watch certain things on TV, wear certain type clothes, and keep our hair a certain length just because with hit a certain age. Who says!!!! Did a bunch of stuck up old women start this trend years ago.. I listen to very loud rock music.. always have and always will. It keeps me young and it helps me with my saturday morning house work. My friends say "why do you still listen to that".. well, why not? I always have. Why change because I'm 47. I like to play xbox 360 games.. They're fun! They don't get that either. I guess I am supposed to sit around drinking coffee or tea all day and quietly stare at the wall. Is fun no longer allowed when you reach a certain age? Sorry.. just my thoughts on getting older.. You are definitely only as old as you feel.
On the age expectations, you are only
as old as you feel. I was divorced at 40 (10 years ago) and my mother (who is now 71) said I act more like a teenager now than I did when I was one. My SO is my age, been together for 8 years, and we do many fun things now that our kids are old enough to leave for a while. In fact, my 18-year-old says we go out more than she does!!!!
I just gave mine away--but it is a GREAT resource...
Whoever was being so nasty--what does it hurt to know what is going on? I, personally, research everything I can about everything medically happening to me and recently found out that I am among the many pregnant women with kidney stones--I never knew it was a common thing. That, in itself made me feel a little better, although I am not sure why. I think that the book is excellent and it is nice of you to try to obtain it for you DIL. I just wish you had posted this 1.5 weeks ago.
i've had mine for almost three years, still works great sm
i leave my monitor on all the time, but it has a "sleep mode" after so long. it's a Dell. actually the whole computer system has been great!
Expectations ALWAYS become premeditated resentments. With that said, (sm)
she is not going to change and you are not going to change her. However< I would not give up on the friendship, because there must be something there that matters otherwise it would not hurt you. Just begin to accept her that she is like this and try not make her act the way you think she should act. If you don't expect her to handle things a certain way, then you won' be disappointed when she she doesn't
:)
Great job! Our local paper had a posting that got 75 resumes, including mine! Love
s
Limbo. Great song, great game. Also,
The girls all line up and walk through a room as if they are modeling on the catwalk. Get a couple of bright colored boa's from the party store. It's a real riot and the kids have a blast especially if a couple of brave boys grab a boa and do it too. We've had many a birthday party doing this and it was totally hilarious.
Wow!! What a great attitude! I love that - great perspective!
x
What great determination and help from a great friend! :) nm
s
I am sure that you are a great mother and a great cook,
and that you tried everything, now try the 'hunger diet'.
Don't know about your God, but mine
my God is more forgiving than that!
She is not doing anyone any harm, so to say she will burn in h*** for celebrating the fun part of Halloween, not evilness, is the whole reason I do not attend church!
I never did it with mine. For one, I would have been
too embarrassed. My mother used to do it, but we have come a long way since then. I find it kind of primitive. I think nothing is wrong with it in your own home, but in public, I really think you should think about it. There are all kinds of weirdos out there and you just don't know what is in their minds. I see nothing wrong with breastfeeding INSIDE YOUR HOME, but there are folks who would get offended by doing it in public. I would not be offended, but really...I think you could put some of that breast milk in a bottle before you go out.
Mine is up
and FAKE -- Me and my fam are all allergic!
Have red/white/blue/silver these. Looks awesome. Have lights up outside too!!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Mine would be...
Laxatives
Laytex gloves
a metal detector
mine too
have to light a fire under his butt in an attempt to get him out of the house.
Mine did nothing at all, at least he went out and tried - sm
more than my DH did, though mine did ask me what I wanted, I told him, he told me to go buy it. This is typical for him. He used to get me beautiful jewelry for b-day, Christmas, annivarsary, that lasted for about 2 years or so, then it has been buy yourself what you want. I do not get bent (what is the point) though a little effort on his part would be nice. He did surprise me on our 10-year anniversary though this year, got me a beautiful opal necklace. As for the kids, my one daughter gave me 2 things, my other nothing, but she gives me wonderful drawings and such all the time, she just has a selfish streak I guess and does not think of others only herself. I just talked to her about this, maybe in the future she will remember our little talk and some good will come from it. My DH needs to learn somehow to have the kids get things for mom on special occasions, yours does too it seems. My neighbor has the same problem with her husband. Basically they are lazy people. He does none of the shopping, gift wrapping, packing to leave (except for his stuff of course), etc. He did buy 1 or 2 gifts, which I of course wrapped. This will probably never change until the kids are gone and he is an old man. I have seen it happen but not until grandchildren are on the scene and these men become model husbands for some reason, whether it is out of boredom or fear of the wife finally saying "I'm out of here, go fend for yourself", or they get struck my lightening, who knows, but beating yourself up about it is not the answer. If you are truly unhappy, get out, or kick him out. But if this is his "flaw" then either live with it, and buy yourself what you want each year or do something about it. It is your call how you deal with it.
mine went away
I had one on my nose for about a year and all of a sudden it just vanished and has never come back. It always bothered me because it was so ugly, but it never hurt and I didn't have to pay to zap it.
Two of mine have had and he will run
fever if he does not drink or eat the popsickles and get sicker. You probably know but you can cool him down with tepid water, try that. You will really have to keep up with you have to drink or eat cool, cold so he will not run that fever.
Yes, mine are
never and I mean never tempt fate. i could never say I was sick or someone else sick say if I wanted to be off from work, no, no, might come true. I have to knock on wood when I say something that is an iffy thing, don’t want to jink.
LOL, I had mine do just that
I gave him a testing tape. It took him hours to get through a page, typing with two fingers, with everything lumped together in one big paragraph, headings and all. Not to mention all the mistakes. lol He now says he has no idea how I do this. I told him I don't know either. : )
LOL! Mine does that too!
And I love how they can never puke/cough up hairballs on the tile, they always have to find a carpeted area (which stains). They can be in the middle of the tile kitchen and find the only rug!
Mine do that too! LOL!
I have tiles in my kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room, yet they decide to leave me presents in the living room or bedrooms where it is carpeted! I own a steam cleaner just for that purpose! LOL!
ok, here's mine...
Awesome: Ellen Degeneres (sp?)
Lame: Oprah
Mine is like that too. (sm)
I don't know why they so strongly believe that aggressive driving is good driving. DH always wants to drive or else he goes nuts, but when I occasionally end up being the driver, he needs to keep quiet so I can concentrate. Just because his BP is through the roof shouldn't mean mine has to be. Lately even when I'm the passenger I don't put up with it. As he starts up, complaining about traffic the moment we've pulled out of the driveway, I calmly remind him he'll live through it. He is starting to realize what a pain he is in the car.
Mine did this ONCE -
We were first married and actually WERE, uh, busy...You never saw someone hit the door running so fast. It never happened again. However, if I were you I would definitely lock my door and put up a sign asking everyone to please knock. It is YOUR house.
Here's how I got out of mine...
I called the cell phone company, said I was trying to cancel but got disconnected and had to call back. When the rep said I had to pay termination on both phones I said the previous rep said I only had to be for 1 phone disconnect fee. After going back and forth a little bit, the rep caved and only charged me for 1 disconnect fee. Worth a try. Good luck.
Mine
used to go on "business trips" and would never check in as well and came up with a world of reasons why. He was seeing other women. That also played a role in lowering my self-esteem, but now I look back and actually feel sorry for him. He's alone and will never have the respect or relationship I have with our children. It's just pitiful, but he made his bed.
I hope you have family you can talk to and get support from. If you need to email me, please feel free. I just know how you feel and I hurt for you right now, but I promise you, it'll all be okay.
Here are mine...sm
Knitting, crochet, cross stitch are my favorites, but the projects keep piling up in a corner because there is no time, and too tired to get through even 5 pages of a book at bedtime. Wish I had an adventure-filled life to blame it on. 
I got mine a GPS....sm
he gets lost VERY easily so I figured he'd love it.
mine are like that too.
The last time one of them was home he straightened out one my cupboards and they like to cook with me and play board or card games.
That is exactly how I fix mine, YUM! (nm)
x
First mine said he was gay
He deliberately married me for a "front" (he was in the military) and didn't bother to tell me he was gay until we'd been married 6 months. After years of confusion, he ended up having a sex change after marrying a second woman and having a child with her.
If you're lucky, he's just curious. But you really need to get the truth out of him, and be prepared for the worst. If he's really confused about his sexuality it may take him years to figure out who he "is" and what he really wants, so it may be difficult for him to tell you the truth because he might be in denial about it himself.
Mine was only 10 or 11, but she had - sm
aggressive, metastatic breast cancer that spread to her lungs. Vet said I would "know" when to have her PTS.
I knew when she didn't want to do anything but sit on the couch and stare off into space. No longer wanted food or attention, just occasional water, and kind of a blank stare. Was also out of breath all the time. So I had a long talk with her about it, and she just seemed to be saying, "Do it - I'm ready."
Well here's mine (sm)
I can lean on the slacker side sometimes too so here is what I do: get my tea- start half an hour early - read any interesting news on Yahoo, check and respond to emails, look at MTstars ;-) - just get that out of the way. Through the day I tell myself I can't switch over and check email or anything until I have done a certain number of minutes, etc., which earns me an email break. I also have motivational music on my computer - like The Blur's Woohoo! song that I play in between when I am doing things that don't require listening, like sending my work and things like that.
here's mine
 Life is good, I am SO blessed!
Mine is on my arm
I want a new one on my back but i'm afraid to get it done here; my one and only was done in Austin, Texas. Mine's pretty big, it takes up almost my entire upper arm.
yes, I got mine on 05/02
I was under the assumption that married people get 1200. Not true. We only got 600. The VA took 167.00 of it, so that left us with 433. Not exactly what I was expecting, but will come in handy.
I'd rather be where you are but here's mine:
http://www.arkansas.com/
Mine does this too
And I am in my 20s. I have them sometimes many times a day for a week straight or so. I am going to my cardiologist again soon but I assume it is nothing to worry about because they dont seem worried. I have a feeling they will do a Holter or something, but it is so hard to catch them because it seems it essentially just does it when it feels like it.
Mine is not like that but just as bad
After 25 years of being together he still has most of his stuff. He doesn't touch my stuff and I don't touch his. It is so hard to get him out of the mindset of keeping everything. He says there is a lot he wants to get rid of but the actuality of doing it? He can't bring himself to part with it even though he says he needs to lighten up.
Mine is....
"hisself" instead of himself. Drives me crazy.
Here goes mine..
ax instead of ask,
beedroom instead of bedroom (I think that's an Australian thing) or for that matter, betroom instead of bedroom
Daytawn instead of Dayton (& from residents too!)
The use of the f-word & the s-word in every other sentence... (if not every sentence)
The over-use of the word "basically" As in starting every other sentence, "Well, basically it's...."
Mine are:
warsh for wash (a common Hoosier-ism, I guess, but I still hate it)
liberry for library
chimbly for chimney
and my mother-in-law pronounces crayons "crins" 
Mine is 10 now
and of course he doesn't remember this anymore but my hubs asked him the other day if he wanted a hangaburger. He just thought his dad was weird. LOL Kids are so much fun.
Here's mine....see pic
I usually have a calico kitten sleeping on my notebook, but I'm not working this afternoon, so not sure where she is.
mine are not that age yet
thought about what i would do should that happen... i did it when i was young and i made some very poor choices during the time i smoked. though that's not happened yet, should it happen, i believe i would try to be with my kids as much as i possibly could. i would take them to school, i would pick them up, if they have a school function, guess what? mom's going too.
you know, when i was younger and did that, my parents DID have a clue... they may have wanted to act all naive but they KNEW.. and as ticked off at them as i would have been had they ever confronted me about it, i look back and truly wish they had and maybe shown some tough love. i think your son's father may be going overboard with wanting to kick him out.
the most important thing is, regardless of how you decide to deal with this, is to let him know how much you love him. bottom line is, if you didn't love him, you wouldn't care what he does.
Some of mine are.............sm
The Christmas Shows with Rob Lowe.
Santa and Pete with Hume Cronyn.
The Angel Doll with Keith Carradine.
The Santa Clause with Tim Allen
And my all-time favorite is It's a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart.
|
