Mean moms/childhood
Posted By: Pugmom on 2009-06-19
In Reply to: so I yelled *shut up, mean mom!* - MissAnthrope
I often questioned God why after 14 years of trying to get pregnant, I never did, then my uterus prolapsed and I had to have a hysterectomy.
I look at my childhood and it had a lot of faults. My mom was so devastated by her own bad childhood, that she really didn't know how to be a parent. My dad, who knew how to be a good parent, was often too busy having to take care of her after psychiatrists had her so drugged she often didn't get out of bed for days.
My mom is about to turn 65 and over the last 8 months or so, both my sister and I have gotten hate E-mail from her for no apparent reason other than she needs to pick a fight, so she starts pointing out our character defects. I originally refuted the points and it just escalated. I didn't even respond to her last hate E-mail. I'm wondering if something is going wrong with her brain (other than the mental illness she already has) from years of drinking or all of the prescription meds she's been hooked on (pain meds, amphetamines, sleeping pills, benzos.
Anyway, don't get me wrong, we did some crazy stuff when I was a kid. She even took my sister and me to a motel with a pool and we checked in overnight. I knew she didn't tell my dad where she was going and when she told us it was bedtime, I tried in vain to stay awake so she'd fall asleep and I could call my dad and let him know where we were. I was probably around 8 or 9 at the time. I felt guilt over that for years because I did fall asleep and never called him (and I wonder why I have insomnia now). He was crying when she brought us home late the next day.
Mom wasn't all bad times. When she was spiritually fit, we had a lot of fun. And I can recognize, as an adult, that she has a personality disorder and I just don't feed it. I love her and always will. I just have to hope I catch her on better days.
I guess what I'm saying is I hope that kid doesn't grow up with memories like mine. I hope the mother was just having a really bad day with a kid who had been acting up all day. And I hope she told him she was sorry and hugged him.
Anyway, I've come to realize that I never really had a good, consistent example of a parent. What kind of parent would I have made? My husband was gone a lot early on. He could be gone 6 months, come back for 10 days and then leave again for another 2 months. Many military wives have dealt with this and had children. Looking back (hindsight is always 20/20), I'm not sure I had what it took to be a good parent so it's best that I never did get pregnant. At least thinking about it that way helps take away some of the emptiness.
My faith is now in God, that He has some other purpose for me than being a parent to human children. I work with a pug rescue and maybe that's what I was meant to do. I believe He has not revealed his full purpose for me, but gives me a little more each time.
Anyway, sorry for rambling so much. If you've stuck with me this long, thanks. It's been a rough, emotional week. Hope yours is going better. :-)
((((((Hugs)))))) to everyone who needs one.
God bless.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
We do owe our children a decent childhood (sm)
I know you say it didn't matter to you - apparently your mom did a good job raising you on her own. Maybe you weren't that close to your dad. But the best decision is always based on weighing out a combination of circumstances - it is not the same for every person. While yours worked out well for you and your mother and brother, it doesn't always go that way for everyone. If it was that easy, no one would complain, we would just make quick selfish decisions and not worry about anyone else. The fact that some of us are on here complaining is a reflection of us caring about other people, not just ourselves. It means we are thinking things through and taking time to decide, hearing viewpoints of those who have experienced it for themselves and those who have not. Sometimes you don't know which is worse, to stay or to go - you may be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire, so staying isn't necessarily accepting second best. It's a huge, big, important decision and one not to be taken lightly. Not everyone ends up as fortunate as you have and we all know it.
For sure. Can't wait to see my childhood kitty!
The Rainbow Bridge
There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.
It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of its many colors. Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge, there is a land of meadows, hills, and valleys with lush green grass. When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place. There is always food and water and warm spring weather. The old and frail animals are young again. Those who are maimed are made whole again. They play all day with each other. There is only one thing missing: They are not with their special person who loved them on Earth. So, each day they run and play until the day comes when one suddenly looks up! The nose twitches. The ears are up. The eyes are staring. And this one suddenly runs from the group. You have been seen, and when you and your special friend meet, you take him or her into your arms and embrace. Your face is kissed again and again and again, and you look once more into the eyes of your trusting pet. Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together, never again to be separated.
-Anonymous
My husband had a childhood no child should ever have to
endure. Both of his parents were alcoholics. He was passed from relative to relative, whoever happened to take pity on him at any given time and provide him with a place to live. When he did live with his parents, he was physically and verbally abused. Believe me, his past is very painful and I'm quite sure it's not a place he likes to revisit. He didn't finish high school. He dropped out of trade school. However, he shared all of that with me because not only am I his wife, I'm his friend. I, on the other hand, was raised in a very loving, very happy, Christian home. My father was a minister and for most of my growing up years my mother was a stay-at-home mom. I can't even begin to imagine a childhood like he had. There a lot of people who don't know all about his past, but I'm glad he trusted in me enough to want to share it with me. Once again, I'm glad my husband loved me and trusted me enough to share details (no matter how ashamed he was of them) of his childhood with me. JMO 
Positive sayings from your childhood
What sayings do you remember your parents telling you?
Do unto others as you would have them do onto you.
What are your favorite childhood memories
Watching the kids in the neighborhood play takes me back to my childhood days. Lots of people say they would never go through childhood ever again but I would in a heartbeat. I'd like to hear what were the best things for you when you were growing up. Mine were
1. Playing all day and night on weekends and after school. My only concern was getting in the house before dark (or by supper time).
2. Grandma & Grandpa lived up the road so spent lots of time with them (they taught us how to do the polka to Lawrence Welk).
3. Didn't have to do any cooking. Everything was prepared for me. And, no laundry. Always had clean clothes hanging in the closet.
4. School. Learning, learning, learning and being with friends.
5. Being free enough to have imaginary friends and nobody would tell me I was losing my mind (or were they really imaginary????)
6. Girl Scouts (need I say any more).
7. The idea that I could be a ballerina, movie star, singer, or anything I wanted to be when I grew up and my parents entertained that as though it could become a real possibility for me.
8. Mom and dad tucking me into bed and kissing me good night.
9. Thanksgiving with the whole family over.
10. Best Christmas gifts were Lite Bright, Easy Bake Oven, Feely-meely, Incredible Edibles, Frisbee, Slinky, dolls, and anything that was not mechanical or electrical.
11. Ice skating, sledding parties, and slumbar parties.
12. Being innocent enough to not know about all the kooks and problems in the world while I had the protection of mom and dad always.
Well I could think of a ton of things, but those were the best times of my life. What are yours?
While I love all these old classics from my childhood...sm
As an adult, I love the Mannheim Steamroller Christmas albums. There's just something about them that makes my heart sing. I like the first one the best.
And my husband and I have a new favorite:
The Jethro Tull Christmas Album.
I would recommend it to everyone. We love all the songs on it, and you have to listen carefully to the words, as well as the melody. Well worth the time to enjoy new favorite.
http://www.j-tull.com/news/christmasalbum.cfm
http://www.progreviews.com/reviews/display.php?rev=jt-tjtca
please try not to make assumptions about my childhood...
it was not bad, by any means, but certainly not "storybook." I am sorry for not joining into the consensus that everyone else expects. I thought that perhaps she might like to hear something from both sides of the coin, but by all means, if all she wants to hear is that she should cut him off completely, I will stop posting and, in the future, please let me know which opinion is acceptable.
I had a good childhood...just pointing out
that those who are hardest on the younger generation are often those that produced it.
Seems like my childhood/teenage years went with them...
who didn't walk into a young man's bedroom and see Farrah's poster -- wish you could be her, and of course, Thriller playing in the background at my first booze party. Blackberry brandy slushes...we were SO COOL...
Goodness, sometimes this adult stuff seems so trivial.
What is your favorite childhood memory?...mine is catching..
lightening bugs in an old mayo jar at an aunt's cottage on the Beaver River in western PA while the adults played cards in the screened in porch late into the night. What I wouldn't give to go back in time just once more!
Joys of childhood (caution: Mushy mom note) (sm)
Sometimes I am reminded why I do this job and it makes me love it all over again! I have to work, we need the income, no doubt about it. But right now I am looking outside at my children playing in the sprinkler (we have a well, so no water restrictions) with the dogs running and kitten running from the water and my kids with not a care in the world for the moment. Remember that feeling?? Now, even when I do venture out and play with them in the back of my mind I still have thoughts of what I "should" be doing - working more, cleaning, paying bills. Right now they get to just be kids. I love it!
Not sure who look like their moms, but maybe have some
character traits of their mothers.
I do know, some men look at the girl's mother to see what the girl will look like when she is older. If her mother is attractive, that certainly helps.
Question for you moms out there...sm
1. Did you have a lot of morning sickness?
2. How many weeks did it last, i.e. from 4 to 12 weeks pregnant or what?
Strippers can be moms too.
nm
Not so much our moms as we just try to teach
xx
Question for moms
 I have a question for mothers out there, I am 29 years old. My husband and I have been married for over 8 years almost 9 we are just now trying to have a baby. While we are excited about this we are also very nervous. I really love my husband and we have good marriage, I am so nervous about how a baby will change our marriage. I know it sounds selfish but I want to be a good wife when we have a child. Are these normal feelings? TIA!!
any moms out there with kids
How did you know they were "model material?" My 9-year old Corbin Blue look- alike wants to go for an open call at our local talent agency. He has the personality for it and i think he's gorgeous, but of course I'm biased!!!
Any tips for going to a call?
Moms are in charge of the fun!
What are your summer fun plans?
Free days at local attractions, or something bigger?
At my house we will be taking a week to explore our own state, which is pretty big!
Divorced Moms - How did you know it was time? (sm)
I am in an unhappy marriage, but I am scared to leave. I have insurance through my husband because I am an IC and I have all these fears - what if my job phases out? what if I injure my hands, what if I get sick, how will I take care of my kids. How did you know it was time?? Is it better now>
any cheerleader moms out there? i need some suggestions. sm
i have a varsity cheerleader. her turn is coming up to make the candy bag thingies, but she wants to do something different. she wanted to use paper towel rolls cut in half (they aren't allowed to use toilet paper rolls due to sanitary reasons), stuffed with candy and rolled up. however, i have not been able to collect 150 paper towel rolls or 75 even for that matter to cut in half. she has two weeks to get 150 candy bags ready. any suggestions on something different to use for candy bags rather than the standard norm of goodie bags?
Single moms - is it better to rent or buy? sm
I am separating, about to become a single mother of two children. I am wondering if I should buy a home or rent one. While buying seems like a good idea, I would also be giving a chunk of money for a down payment (which if I rented I could keep as emergency savings) plus I would be responsible to repair anything that might break. I would appreciate any advice on this.
thanks :-)
Thank you. Single moms on welfare are not all bad ones.
Women on here who say they have SOOOOO much saved for retirement and then talk about drawing social security burn my behind. It wasn't intended for the well-off to draw in the first place and probably will be gone by the time most of us get old enough to draw it.
This person is obviously overwhelmed with greed, wouldn't you say? In this day and age, with the greedy falling left and right, this one apparently doesn't understand that greedy behavior is no longer PC.
Boys wrap their moms around their fingers too
Apparently you, for example......I know moms of boys and sometimes I think some of them are delusional about their *boys/men*.....I don't know - I surely just don't get it.....as much as I try to get it.....
Questions for moms with daughters in puberty.. sm
My daughter will be 13 in December. Back in early August she had what I thought was the starting of her menses. She had some blood for about one week and then done. She has not had anything for the month of September. Is this normal? When I started I never remember stopping after the first one. She does play a lot of soccer and takes dance, so that might be part of it to. Any other mom's experiencing this?? She knows all about sex and pregnancy, so I know that is not an issue, especially since she goes nowhere without me or her dad. Thanks for any input.
I totally agree...no one can understand this job but us MT Moms...
no breaks from anything...but I love working at home and wouldn't change it for the world...even if my kids do drive me crazy on a daily basis---LOL...part of the job...
Moms - how long did you wait to tell people you were pregnant?
Right away or waited a while?
To all you married moms with kids and hubby at home,
do you ever dream about living by yourself? Not just with no kids, but with no hubby either? I love my family, but when I feel overwhelmed, when life gets too stressful, I can't help but think how peaceful that kind of life would be, with just myself to take care of. Of course I know in my heart that if I was by myself I would be bored and lonely, but right now it sounds really good! It has been one of those days...
You're just a Scrooge, that's all. Read Jewish Moms post above.
g
|
