Maybe during this time of grief, s/m
Posted By: MI-MT on 2009-04-08
In Reply to: I have an upsetting problem and need some advice by this afternoon - Backwards typist
John is not remembering things correctly. That would be quite understandable. If you explained everything to your aunt and she is on your side about what was said in the past, then so be it. I would let that drop right now.
Even with Joan dying, your mom does not need to be moved right away. I feel that John should pay the cost for moving her as well. You GAVE them the deeds to the plots, they should be grateful.
I would go to the viewing. But if he does start anything, do not argue, do not defend, walk away. No matter what you say will be wrong. He needs to get through his grief first. Being that you suffer from panic attacks, you should just limit your time there. My DH suffers from them as well, but sometimes there are things that we just have to do.
Best of luck to you.
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I am sorry for your grief.
I lose my Belgian when he was only 6 to sand colic, had to have him put to sleep. That was over 15 years ago and I still miss him.
I have 3 old horses that are rescues. I am sure they would go to slaughter. But they are still rideable and very good with children. I love them so much. They are like big puppies and follow me all around their pasture.
Keep saving one at a time!
good grief.
By the way, meant floor above.
I'm not "troubled" or a psychopath. Are you trying to say that if you get stalked by a psycho ex, then there must be something wrong with you? I think not.
Oh good grief.
Good grief...
On Regis and Kelly they showed a picture of her from a newspaper and she had an alcohol ankle bracelet on.
I feel for your grief!
This really helped me find my bearings in watching my dad reject my mom for someone like the person you are describing. No it doesn't make sense... She had him totally bewitched. Mom had be so loving and faithful... It blows my mind how he could trade what he had for something so cheap.
It matters not if cherished friends
On whom I leaned in vain,
Have wounded me in word or deed,
And left me with great pain.
What matters is, can I forgive,
Again and yet again?
Its not have they been true, but Lord,
Have I been true to them?
Twill matter not when evening comes how rough the road I've trod,
If only I have walked with Him,
And led some soul to God.
For when I wake to be like Him
Who saved me by His grace,
Earth's pain will vanish when I catch
One glimpse of His dear face.
(author anonymous)
It shook my faith to watch my preacher dad do something so awful. But but the storms make the trees roots grow deeper. I can't say I like storms, but I'm thankful to find God faithful when nothing else seems secure. Look to HIM! He CARES!!! And above all, FORGIVE your dad. Unforgivness is like poison, as deadly to the soul as cancer to the body. It simply is not worth it to hold a grudge. God will deal with the rewards of the wicked, and I think we can feel compassion when we reallize what that means. How sad!
Good Grief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
x
good grief! nit pic ..nm
nm
Has anyone ever used online resoureces to help with grief? sm
I am having a lot of issues regarding the passing of my mom. It will be a year this fall and it still seems like it was just yesterday. She was not only my mom, but my best friend. I feel like it was a double whammy. She passed suddenly, so there was no preparing...not that you really can prepare. Anyway, I have had people tell me it is time to move on and I should snap out of it. I keep it together for my kids and try to make their days fun and enjoyable, but all I do is think about my mom and when alone I cry for her and the pain I feel. I would like to look for some type of help regarding greif and dealing with it. Has anyone ever used online help to deal with greif? Thanks.
Grief counseling before the fact SM
I am under a lot of stress with an elderly mother who has a grim prognosis. She is 90 years of age and has CHF with another recent hospitalization last week. She is home now, but her doctor called me the day of her discharge and gave me a complete detailed summary of her condition and prognosis. I have been more anxious since the discussion with him, although he is to be commended for his frankness and the sensitive way he handled the situation.
I know counseling is beneficial after we lose someone close to us, but I feel I need some help now just dealing with this now. The only way I can explain how I feel is to say I feel like I am carrying a bomb and not able to put it down. I know what will happen and still not able to prevent the inevitable. The nurse told me last week at the hospital that the normal BNP level is not to be above 50. My mother's BNP this last time was over 4600. The doctor told me the same value on the telephone and told me it almost blew his socks off, in his words exactly. They removed 5 1/2 liters of fluid this admission. She also has chronic renal failure. I am blessed to have her this long, but it makes it no easier to let go. I have such a heaviness in my heart. Thank you for listening.
good grief how did you get mean spirited out of THAT?!
x
Good grief. That was supposed to be *psychopath*... sm
not *physiopath* or whatever I typed! LOL
Is there a grief support group in your town?
xx
Good grief, they deserve a safe sm
plce to live! They are not going to remember the big house, etc when they are grown. They WILL remember the abuse you subjected them to and did not get out.
Good grief. Do parents not teach their
kids ANYTHING anymore?
good grief! If living in a place sm
with an HOA means living next to snooty people like you, I would rather live next to the renters! You act like a person can just up and sell their house like you would sell a car.
Think I will stay where normal people are and not the hoity-toity snot faces like yourself!
Good grief, I thought it was funny...nm
NM
good grief!!! I have to go to the store!!! Thanks for the remind!!!
I am trying to not buy so much because I am taking my first vacation in 4 years next Friday, but I think I will have to break down and get groceries!!! GEEZ!!! I want pizza.... YUMMMM
Good grief, we didn't even go to either of my niece's graduations
and they both live here in our town. We love them both dearly and are very close to them but they both said it didn't bother them. They go to different high schools and there is limited seating at one of them. Each graduate only gets 7 tickets and after parents, grandparents, and siblings we really couldn't go. We did go their grad parties and they were more excited about what was in their card anyway. LOL Your husband needs to let his sister know that he plans to have a vacation with his entire family, so it is either go see them a week later, or go wherever you choose.
Good grief - I hope not!!! Mine was not pretty! nm
..
Good grief, lost of people get married and don't have children nm
Z
No! That sounds too desperate. TIME. Just give it TIME. If it is real, then sm
something will definitely evolve. If you like him, flirt back! Don't act desperate because if he DOES like you, then the suspense will just make him want to get to know you more. Trust me on this.
I worked in the medical records department of a hospital when I was single and dated a few co-workers in my early 30s. It was fun. Nothing serious came about any of the relationships.
This sounds like fun - the beginning of maybe something to come....Keep us informed.
Totally agree, get these from time to time since teens...sm
It's a neuro condition, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with you, it is actually related to narcolepsy, hypnagogic (sp? I just got up!) hallucinations, etc. And I HATE when I get these, it is always freaky, my siblings get this too, at times. I can "go away" for years and years before you get another episodes, so don't worry! I heard that when you are under a lot of stress or are very busy with things that this happens more??? Take care!!
It's time to stop when you or the kid(s) feel it is time, and no sooner. sm
My grandmother (who passed away at the young age of 107 back in the mid 1990s) was STILL celebrating every little holiday for all of her many kids and grandkids, and she would STILL give me a chocolate bunny every Easter, as she had since I was a toddler and even though I was 40ish at the time (and I still delighted in biting its head off in front of her, as I had also done since I was a toddler, which always met with mock disapproval from her).
Don't let anyone dampen your joy in celebrating your traditions.
The very 1st time he talked about killing you, was the time
The guy sounds like a psycho.
Rachael Ray has a segment from time to time
on using the bottom of the bottle receipes (i.e. bar-be-q sauce, peanut butter, maple syrup) and I have used many of her ideas and been amazed at how far you can stretch a dollar that way. Go to her website, it will give you many ideas.
Oh Amy, surely there was a man who "kept" you from time to time..
or you were at least married and had access to money!
It was a great time - I just hate the time we are in now
I liked your post. Thanks for replying It's nice to know other people were raised like me. We seem to appreciate the things we have. Oh I should've also said we didn't have A/C growing up. My parents idea of A/C was having my sister and I wave a piece of cardboard in front of them. HA HA HA.
I just couldn't stand the 90s and 2000s are even worse. I hate all the politics going on today, the world events, the bleak future. The degenerates running around, listening to kids talk back to their parents, girls gone wild, etc, etc. I'm grateful my grandparents and mom are not alive anymore to have to go through this with us.
I love watching old movies and the music of the 40s/50s. If I was alive back then I would've been doing the jitterbug and all those other fun dances. Life seemed simpler and cleaner (even though I've got a mouth like a sailer - guess I got that from my Army days).
I wouldn't mind the turn of the century either. I love the clothing and the simple life. Those are the times when the husband took care of the wife. If I could be transported back to the 1800s I surely would in a second.
Time out and then spanking if time out
If we are out in public however, we do not go home. Spanking right there and then and the kids learn REAL QUICK mom means business. I do not mess around and I have a 17-year-old now that has enlisted in the military and THANKS me for his tough upgrowing. It helped him through basic training.
Well, I have questioned myself from time to time.
I figured this was typical. DD has lots of friends but two real close friends. I guess this is all part of building social skills. I am glad I did okay then.
Same thing happens to me from time to time - sm
if I roll over too quickly. I have positional vertigo. There is not too much you can do about it except try not to move or get up too quickly from a supine position. I have never had an earache in my life either so that has nothing to do with it. I don't ever feel sick from it though, just more of a nuisance for me every now and then. If it keeps happening obviously get checked out, you may have a more severe case, though again there really not much you can do about it, all it is is some particles in your ear breaking loose and that causes the dizziness, etc.
If I had not asked time and time again
for the daughter to ask me are you upset- are you angry- are you in a bad mood- People can think what they want- She is a very intelligent person and my asking to please should be enough. Gest of the posting. Selfish, OMG, that is really a laugh. I have and do take care of others well before my needs- I have given of myself, my time, my finances, the whole thing until, now this will sound selfish- it is my time now. I take care of me now- this is selfish but this is the truth. I raised my family, did all I could (still do for the daughter if she needs assistance which she never asks for but I offer)and now in golden years, me time.
Yes. Next time put a time limit on it., but is there any way you
nm
I keep it in the office part time and on the patio part time
I've got the self-cleaning electric litter box (and boy is it worth the $100), and have a huge throw rug under it with a smaller rug by the litter pan that has a bumpy mat on top of it to catch the excess. I keep it in the office from April to October but on the patio from October to March as it is too hot in FL to leave the patio door open for them during the summer months. I also put out a spare box when we go out of town for the weekend.
Try a box that has deeper sides maybe, or not as much litter in it?
time time time
when I divorced my husband, I felt the same way. some mornings I would wake up crying and missing him, but I really knew that if I was still with him, things would have been the same. chin up, chest out!!! and forward march. it's just hard. you should read the Sweet Potato Queens books. reading them in order is best, but the newest one is the Sweet Potato Queens Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide. I say read them in order because she refers back to things in the other books that you will be in the dark about, but your situation sounds critical so maybe just jump right into the Divorce Guide. go to sweetpotatoqueens.com. I have read them all over and over and they are fabulous!!!! need some humor at this time in your life. good luck to you!!
First time I saw it
I really like Jen. Didn't care too much for Sadie.
I think maybe for the first time or maybe just the first time
in a long time - your well is a little more dry - it needs replenishing.... you give and you give and you give and even the most charitable of people need to get something back... I think you just had a dry year and I hope this year people give back to you - if so little as a smile, a hug, a bit of encouragement in whatever way - to help to lift your spirit. You will get it back! :))
Yes. Happens all the time.
x
99% of the time - none.
x
My son would get them all the time - sm
get something to soak the foot in, fill it with water as warm as he can stand it and then mix in about 1 cup of Epsom salts, soak the foot until the water cools.
Will have to do it a few times over a few days but the skin starts to pull back.
tell him not to cut his toenails so short! :)
I look at it as the first time since she sm
was, what 14, that she will have to be in rahab. One problem, Michele Rodriguez from the show Lost went to that jail in 2006 to serve 60 days for a DUI and was let go after several hours due to overcrowding. I sure hope she doesn't get out becuase of something silly like that.
Just take it one day at a time.
I had a miscarriage back in 1993 and for years afterwards I would have a private memorial day on the day that I was due. Time really does help your heart heal, as have my living children.
TB and time
I don't agree because it can take years from the time of exposure. This is such a bad form of TB that anyone in contact with him for quite a while back needs to be watched at least and be followed up. That patient did not even realize he was infected and found out by accident from an x-ray. TB is an interesting disease process and we all need to be careful especially since there are so many people here illegally. I am not trying to start anything about that, but they have not even been medically screened if they came here illegally. They are sitting around in all our ERs, the same ones we go to. They sit next to us on public transportation and work in our restaurants. I have recently worked for physicians who treat a lot of foreign patients and you would be surprised at how many diseases they enter this country with. This is a very serious thing and I find what he did to be very wrong. His father-in-law knew too and works at the CDC. The reason he came back was the way he did was to get the best treatment available, which is here in the US, and I believe his father-in-law told him that. If anyone has been exposed to TB they need to be checked by their physician and followed.
No bra here, either, 90% of the time
If I didn't have these danged D-cups, it would be 100% of the time.
And I go Apache at home, which also means about 90% of the time since I started working at home. I don't think I could wear pants or shorts without underwear. Too much chafing of the delicate areas. But I wear housedresses in summer or in winter warm waffly nightgowns while I work so no need for underwear! 
i think its time to think about YOU
and of course the kids. If he loves them as you say, the distance won't stop him. My heart goes out to you. But do what is right for you this time.
How did I know when it was time?
When I started dreading the fact that he was home instead of worrying why he was't home. Being on my own was harder than I thought even though the relationship was long over. It's a mental thing of course. I felt very alone and vulnerable, but I did get over it. I still panic about the things you mention, although I have always been okay, yes even better. Having plenty of positive, understanding support would be most helpful. Hope you make the right decision.
AHA! Thanks! Most of the time I don't - sm
have a need for an online photo-sharing account, since I usually just email to friends, or print out for my mom, who has no PC. But I printed out your info. for the time when I get around to starting an account with flicker or photobucket.
THANKS for the info!
time
I used to love mornings now be a night person. I am up early but when it comes to feeling like typing rather do it at night.
First time!
Hey, it's my first time here.............
Well, any time you go anywhere ....
without your spouse you are in a compromising position then. Anything can happen, anytime, anywhere, people around or not. Geesh girls, lighten up on the morality aspect of it. Are your husbands even allowed to TALK to other women? Little girls worry about such things, women do not.
Well, let's see, what do I do with my time? (sm)
My husband is always gone travelling, I work full time, take almost 100% care of the kids, am a Girl Scout leader, Sunday School teacher, volunteer at the school, and help take are of my aging father. I NEVER have time to watch TV and I spend maybe 15 minutes a day on here posting a day. (pretyt much my only outlet) and I do keep my house relatively clean, cook, laundry, etc. If I want to have someone help me with my house so that I have a little more time, that's my business.
Of course, all the time
I question my DH's decisions all the time, especially when it comes to situations like you described. You have a right to your opinion and a right to state it, without being yelled at and without his anger. Men can be so defensive when questioned on a decision they have made, but hey, they just need to get over it. And I think you did the right thing by doing your questioning out of the presence of the children, as it's not good for them to see Mom second guessing Dad or vice versa, cause they will play on that eventually.
Good luck, I know it's hard living with a hard-headed man, trust me I know!
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