MYOB?

Posted By: Dinosaur on 2009-02-23
In Reply to:

I am troubled by this situation and appreciate your feedback. My husband crewed with "A" up until my husband retired this year and we moved about 300 miles away. "A" has a long history of working together with my husband, and he even stood up as best man for our wedding. "A" is married and has four early adult children, two still at home and in college. I know there are bad dynamics with his wife, but that's about all. Two sides to every story and I don't know the lady very well. Met her socially a few times is all for work functions.

Come to find out this weekend when "A" comes to visit us that he has hooked up with an old high school sweetheart and has been seeing her for about six months. Still married to his wife and this other chick is married too but unhappy like he is. Worse, "A" used us as his cover story. Said to his wife he was going to spend the weekend visiting us for ice fishing and hooked up with this other one. Then brought her around our house and expected us to all go out and have dinner - no problem. I do not approve of this at all and don't want to be party to it. If you don't want to be married anymore then be upfront about it. I lost a lot of respect for him. My husband is not comfortable but says they have a 25+ year history together from work and doesn't want to lose his friendship.

Should I just shut up and look the other way? TIA.

Complete Discussion Below:

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MYOB? - Dinosaur
- Should your husband continue to associate - my2cents
  - that's how all husbands should behave..nm - mm
- After reading your post and all of the other - IMHO
- You don't have to go out with them, but sm - my thoughts
- Personally, I would not look the other way. I would not allow the friend - Loco
- My take on this. SM - Z
- Years ago when I was still married the same thing happened to me. My - S/M
- My solution...sm - Confetti
  - Hubby's friend is a jerk - period! - anonamiss

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First, I'd tell your roommate to MYOB - sm
whether it is your alcohol or food habits, it's none of her business; but maybe that's just me! I am a firm believer in people keeping their noses out of other people's behavior (unless you are falling down drunk or not paying your bills, and thus affecting her).
As for alcohol usage - my DH and I drink every night after work, 1-2 glasses of wine or a beer. I believe normal usage is considered 1-2 servings (12 oz beer, 1 mixed drink, etc) daily. I find it relaxing and it is supposed to be good for cardiovascular health.