Loving these positive responses. Feeling much better about it now!

• Hysterectomy. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and opinions. I have decided to go ahead with t - Just me
  • I had mine at 34, and my health improved dramatically! (sm) - Me, Too!
    • PS: Yes, I kept the ovaries. But the cervix was removed, - (sm) - Me, Too!
  • Your upcoming hysterectomy - babe
  • Loving these positive responses. Feeling much better about it now! - just me
  • Good luck to you, I'm sort of in the same type of boat - sm
    • Probably best surgery I ever did. - Janet
      • That is great, happy for you. - sm
  • I had one at age 33 and can honestly tell you I am the poster child for it! sm - Kokopoo
    • Kokopoo, did you have ovaries and uterus out? nm - just me
      • Yes, I chose to have everything taken out due to the risks - Kokopoo
        • Thanks Kokopoo. I feel more encouraged now. My biggest worry is the - Just me
          • Hormonal effects? - Janet
            • You know, that was about the only side effect I did have was vaginal dryness, but that (sm) - Kokopoo
          • You know how I looked at it? I tried to validate keeping my ovaries for (sm) - Kokopoo
            • Thank you so much. I am scheduled for surgery on 2/27. sm - Just me
              • Are you having it done vaginally or classical? I had mine (sm) - Kokopoo
                • I am having it done via lap assisted vaginal way, using a new process called - just me
                • As far as recovery, I - Janet
        • P.S. I have a beautiful 8-year-old daughter from it all. nm - Kokopoo
  • Sounds like a smart decision. - Misha

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I am jealous of MIL and Dh relationship.  There, I admitted it.  It was a huge red flag when we were dating but I ignored it.   To start at the beginning I was jeolous.  I wished now I would have listed  but I didn’t I married him.  Lived here in an appointment but he really considered his home with mommy who was 88 miles away.  He would go every weekend leaving me here alone.  I thought well, he is not married to me or anything I guess he is taking care of responsibility.  He seemed obsessed on the family farm (70 acres) and getting that started.  He and his mommy were working side by side to get “the place” fixed up.  Occasionally, his friend and his wife would invite them camping so he and mommy would take a break with his buddies and camp.  Not so intelligent me was sitting at home, alone thinking one of these days he will figure out what a wonderful person I am and he won’t have to cling to mommy so much.  Boy was I ever wrong.  He took my virginity and that made me want to cling to him tighter.  I shamelessly chased him.  Finally I told him that if he wasn’t going to marry me, I was leaving.  He said okay, lets do it.  Well we had a rush engagement.  DH hated the idea of a wedding he had already been through that once. (This was his second marriage).  He was not very cooperative and kind of rude but I did get my wedding.  At some points in our courtship I thought it was sweet how he doted on his mommy I just wished I saw how dysfunctional it really was.  I think my first clue should have been when he was late for our second date because mommy called him bawling because she and her brother got into a fight. 

Anyway, it was so hard to keep MIL out of our business.  MIL balanced our check books, dh would take me and MIL out of a drive, all outings included MIL.  I told him that I think we should be taking care of our financial bus and dh said “no, mom knows how to do it and besides if I take that from her she won’t feel wanted. “  I asked, who did you marry, me or mommy.  Well MIL is not in our finances anymore.  She did used to go through our mail. I asked her if she was going to be a meddling MIL and she got mad and told DH and dh jumped my butt saying she is only trying to help and a few cuss words. (when the cussing started, I turned out). MIL was upset and she was going to take us to court. I guess she thinks she has rights to his money just like a wife would or more so.  They did have bank accounts together, cc together. 

Any, I cannot write a book.  Just a long story short, I try to put up boundaries and I am the villain. MIL is not a meddler, she is trying to help, she is only being a loving, doting,  graaaadmommeeee.  To get along, I  try to think of her as a break from the kids but the way she interacts with my children sends chills down my spine.  First she would say that is her baby, she didn’t want her baby doing this or that.  She did not want her baby to get sick so I couldn’t  take her outside. She wants to sleep in their room so she can take care of them, she would take my oldest dd in another room and shut the door and undress.  She wanted to take her to the public restroom, (It is like she thinks, DH child is her responsibility, I am just womb donor. It was driving me stir crazy.  She and dh would buddy up on our outings and leave me feeling like a third wheel. And with DD, it was like she, DH and my child were just one big happy family.  Gag. One time dh ask her if she wanted another baby, she said “I love babies.”  GAG.  Bad part is my oldest dd loves her.  She wanted MIL to take her to school this morning, not me.  She is 5 years old. 

and hope that it dissipates.  Big hope, I know.  I don't want to go through that again, either, only this time I will stay and hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 

Let me start by saying I can't believe how low some people will stoop.  Just when I think I have heard just about everything, something else comes up.

My neighbor is the sweetest lady you could ever meet.  The whole family is very nice and very giving. I have known them since I was very little and she used to babysit me and my sibs.

Three years ago, her daughter was a junior in high school and ended up pregnant by one of the "jocks."   They dated for over a year but as soon as she ended up pregnant, he would have nothing to do with her (typical huh?.)  I might also add that while his family is fairly well off, her family is not as fortunate but they are comfortable.  The daughter decided to keep the baby and raise him with the help of her family since she was not getting help from the father of her little boy.  I have kept him on occasion too and I just love this little guy. 

Stacy finished high school and struggled to get her nursing degree, making a nice living for herself and Michael. 

Last April, Stacy's dad passed away suddenly and now that everything is settled, she and her mother have come into some insurance money.  Not a gigantic sum of money but nothing to sneeze at.  Let's say its a couple hundred thousand.

After almost 4 years of nothing from Michael's father or his family, he's come back around again.  Of course, he has heard there is some money now!   Apparently daddy has cut him off for some recent bad behavior and I won't say what that was.   Not only that, his mommy now calls Stacy all the time wanting to see her "grand baby."   Oh BARF!   Give me a break!  Michael will be FOUR very very soon and NOW they want to see him?

Something really stinks.  

Please send Stacy positive thoughts.  I don't think she will give him (dad) the time of day, nor grandma either since she encouraged him leaving her behind but, you never know.  

He really broke her heart when he just started pretending he never even knew her.  He doesn't deserve her or Michael.

What sayings do you remember your parents telling you?

Do unto others as you would have them do onto you.

you guys don't know how much you actually helped ole MTME4vr (that's me) thru some very dark days. 

It did get kind of strange and intense with all the crazy anecdotes and side stories during the guessing games.  Call me weird, I miss it terribly!!  HAA! HAA! 

Then everybody ended up either sick or injured, that was a rough spell!  

Hey do you remember the story about one of the gang, think it might have been MTSara, went to the door and her neighbors were out in the yard arguing in their underwear??  ZOIKS!! 

How long before they can straighten up and test negative?  Does this mean for the rest of their lives, they will never receive any welfare benefits becase they smoked a joint? 

Would I the taxpayer have to pay for the drug testing that is performed this one time or multiple times?  Would I have to pay more taxes when people are homeless?  Would we need more homeless shelters?  What would this cost the taxpayers in the long haul?  Is every applicant tested?  Where is this information for the results of the drug testing stored, in a police database?  What type of rehab if the test is positive would be offered, if any?  Would the person serve time for being under the influence?  Would this cause me to have to serve jury duty more often?  Would they also be screened for alcohol?  What type of future ramifications are in order if and when they do get a job?  Would the prospective employer be notified that welfare was not granted due to drug use/intoxication? 

Not an easy task is it?

Thank you all for your responses.  I have to say that I'm a little shocked by some of the comments, but I I didn't post everything. 

I didn't actually prevent my child from talking to her.  My daughter answered and handed it to my son, and then he proceeded to answer all of her questions about where we were going and what we were doing and what I got him for his birthday. 

I didn't put them in the middle or tell them how I felt about it.  I felt like she overstepped her boundaries, but I decided to post my feelings about it on a public message board rather than say anything in front on them.  I decided I would get some unbiased opinions here before I said anything to anyone.  The last thing I want is to put them in the middle or hurt them. 

I've decided that I'm going to e-mail my ex and ask him not to give my phone number to other people without my permission and leave it at that. 

I do feel that I haven't been a vindictive or jealous ex spouse.  #1 entered the picture right as we were separating, and my kids were really, really angry about it.  My kids saw us as still married and just fighting, so they did not want anything to do with #1.  In fact, they planned this Parent Trap type sabatoge.  I caught them packing worms and slugs in a jar, Ex-Lax, and bubble bath that they were planning to put in her shampoo bottle.  I sat them down and told them that they were under no circumstances to sabatoge #1.  I told them that they were to treat her with respect even if they didn't like her, just as they would treat a teacher that they didn't like.  I also told them that she was not the cause of our divorce, and that they didn't have to hate her.  She was around for a while, and the last few times the kids came back saying, "She says all the same stuff to dad that you do, but she screams it at him."  Then she disappeared.  Despite the fact that they didn't like her, they still had a hard time with her disappearing without a formal goodbye. 

#2 and #3 were just one-weekend things.  My daughter was actually devastated because #2 had a daughter that was her age.  She was excited to go back and play with the daughter and was already telling people that she was going to have this really cool step-sister, but by the next visit he was already on to #3. 

There were 2 more that he dated that I was aware of, but neither wanted to meet the kids, so the kids don't know about them. 

Now we are on to #4.  I'm upset that his family has stopped calling and sending cards and gifts, and #4 seems to be the replacement.  The second time they met her, he flew the kids to her house for Christmas, and there was no contact whatsoever with his family, although they sent gift cards to my home for the kids.  Now my son's birthday came, and his family ignored it, but girlfriend is calling. 

My kids always describe going to dad's house like getting on a roller coaster, and coming home as getting off the ride.  So, when she called, I guess I felt like she was encroaching upon my kids' drama-free zone.