Losing a child
Posted By: Jewell on 2007-05-30
In Reply to: I know there was a reason my baby died...sm - Sad one
I think when people say this they are talking about children who have lived, a viable child. Your baby could not at 11 weeks have survived outside the womb. My question to you- would you much rather it have been born say with a myraid of birth defects and struggling to breathe, constant medical care, not able to walk by itself, needing constant medical/home attention just so it could have been born? I know it would be even more difficult for me to have that happen than nature taking its course as in demise in the womb.
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little by little in this country - losing ....nm
I think I'm losing my memory
I know as we get older we all joke about it because it seems to be true for a lot of us. But, do you ever worry that it could be something more serious? For the last 10 years, I've noticed that I can't remember numbers any more like phone numbers. I used to be very sharp and have a good memory but now I rely on notes. It sux!
I am always losing my hair.
All year round. A lot comes out in the shower and when drying my hair. My bathroom floor is covered. I have very thick hair. I never thought to ask my doctor about it. May be I should. I do not see any bald spots yet, but I will continue to watch. I just turned 50. I hope it does not get worse.
I posted above about losing my mom sm
I remember walking with a couple of friends and complaining about my mom (while she was still alive) and one of the women said to me "I lost my mom and I would give anything to have another day with her". It was several years later before I lost my mom, but oh how those words play in my mind. I will hear the country song "Just one more day" and I have to turn off the radio. I miss her teribly and I personally think that is the way it should be. Just keep all of the wonderful memories. "hugs again"
Okay, losing my mind. I now see it! Thanks for the help. nm
!
Losing friends
When I lost my first one (my cat BB) I tried to keep him hanging on as long as possible but when I talked to him about it he let me know he wanted me to let him go and I held him when I took him to the vet and he purred the whole time. He knew he didn't have to suffer any more. The really hard stuff only lasts for 3 days, then you feel better every day. It's lots easier after you get the ashes back, you feel like they're home. On my hearth I have 4 late cats, 1 late husband, 1 late brother-in-law and my late mother. I never really feel like they're gone. I feel for you, hang in there.
I'm sorry you're losing him too. (sm)
Maybe he and Sasha will play together over the bridge. So far she is eating well and keeping her weight on, so perhaps we have a little more time. She's so precious.
have same problem after almost losing my
only 2 year old to renal failure. Had to find ways to give high calorie and stimulate appetite. From the vet get one called AD by Science Diet. Mine likes it mixed with a little warm water to pablum consistency. High in vitamins, protein, fat and vets give it to very sick cats - like TraumaCal in humans.
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
I guess you know because it is not your fingers you are losing, NM
z
Is she losing weight or having frequent
urination? I know from a friend of mine that these are some symptoms. Also, my friend had blurred vision to the point she was afraid to drive. She went to an ophthalmologist for whom she used to work. He suspected diabetes and checked her sugar. It was over 600 in the office. She has seen been an insulin dependent diabetic. She was losing weight rapidly. You are just being a good daughter. Keep an eye on things for her.
Losing your sex drive with menopause is
part of the natural progression of our biology.
the world isn't losing freedom of speech...
Just the Christians! Talk about anything except God, Jesus, Church, etc., and we're gonna pay and pay dearly for it, I am afraid! 
Focus on getting healthy, not on losing weight
I don't know your height, but was 5Ǝ" and 175 when I started trying to get fit. I lost inches first before losing weight. It took 4-5 months to lose 25 lbs, going from a size 16 to 12. Once I got there, I was more fit than 93% of all women my age. I was doing mountain hikes that put my teenagers to shame.
A few years later, I had some GI problems and started losing inches and a bit of weight, but not much weight. I lost the muscle as I had already burned off the fat. I dropped only 5 lbs, but went from size 12 to a size 8. I was anorectic. I'm back up again. ugh.
Just wanted you to know that if you think about getting fit, you may be more successful than if your goal is to lose weight. A lot of people give up because they don't lose the weight they expect of themselves. Your body will tell you where you should be. If you lose too much weight, you'll stay sick. If you are fit and stay fit, you'll feel it in any muscle and bone of your body. Good luck! Sounds like your off to a good start.
so sorry, losing a pet rips a part of my heart out
and having to make the decision rips an even bigger part. So very sorry. Take some solace in the happiness he had with you.
Agree with losing tail. An old cat just tends to walk around, not much jumping or
xx
Read the papers, duh! People are losing their homes
for getting into this stuff.
Goes to show, you aren't that smart. Money in bank getting interest only. Come on lady, what planet do you live on? You are full of it. You are depending on the two most unstable things in the world right now. Talk about planning.
Parenting advice needed! I am losing my mind with my 14yo son. SM
He is so smart. I got his first grade card a couple of weeks ago, 2 Fs (Science and Computer Lit) and a D+ in English. The rest of his grades were acceptable. The problem isn't that he doesn't understand the subject matter in these classes, but that he simply doesn't do the work, doesn't turn in homework assignments, NOTHING!
I started having trouble with him last year and he barely passed the 7th grade. Now, here it is the beginning of a new school year and he's doing the exact same thing. He's grounded, of course, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to him. Last night his English teacher called to tell me he hasn't turned in any assignments since the beginning of the new quarter, that he simply sits there at his desk doing nothing while the rest of the class works. She said he seems to be easily distracted.
When I talk to him about school, he gives me attitude. Last night after I hung up with the English teacher, I was very angry, and proceeded to ground him longer and took away his IPod. He had the audacity to say "mom, you're really making me mad (only he didn't say "making me mad"). I took step toward him because I was about ready to slap his disrespectiful mouth and he said "you better not lay a hand on me." He threatened me! So I basically took a deep breath and said "son you do not want to take me on." And then I proceeded to tell him that he would be staying after school with his English teacher until further notice and that I will be picking him up every day after school to make sure he brings home all his books and homework.
I don't know what else to do. I have asked his teachers to keep me informed via email cause I'm always at my computer during the day. His Science teacher just emailed me and said he didn't turn in his assignment today. After all that last night and he STILL didn't turn in his assignment!
I tried to be understanding because he's at a new school in a new town, but socially he's happier than I've seen him in a long time. He has made a bunch of new friends, he's planning on going out for the basketball team. At first I tried to blame his attitude problems on the move and the new school, but he was doing the exact same thing last year at his old school. His dad and I have separated and maybe that has something to do with it, but life has been less stressful without his dad here, even my son has said so.
Please give me some advice. I've thought about talking to the school counseling, going to family counseling, having my son see a therapist. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'm failing as a parent here and I don't know what to do.
Thanks for letting me spill my guts.
Crickets, airports (not planes), spiders, losing my kids...
My chiropractor said his plastic surgeon friends are losing their practices.
At least here in C.FL, plastic surgery is tanking!
I'm sorry. It's rough losing a pet. I lost my dog, Tate a couple years back. SM
He was a sheltie and he used to lay under my desk when I worked and I would rub him with my foot and he was a great foot warmer in the winter! I used to say, he wasn't my dog, I was his person. He got sick and then his liver failed and I had to have him put to sleep because he was suffering. I cried for weeks! I still haven't gotten another dog. My kids have been begging me and they've almost wore me down, but for a long time after Taters died, I just couldn't bring myself to even think about another dog. I compromised and got the kitty last summer. I've never had a cat before, so I didn't know if I'd like a cat or not. I've always been a dog lover, but I've been quite taken with my little cat. He's ornery little guy and I love to play cat and mouse with him.
Listen to me just gush! Sorry about that.
Yes, with my second child.
He is now 13 and has never had any problems. Just pray, God will work it all out for you and I will keep you in my prayers also.
Tell me a little about your child, please
Thanks.
Thank God. Having your child taken would be the
.
As a child...
I never sucked my thumb and never had a pacifier. I had crowding of teeth as an adult because of wisdom teeth pushing on them. It really is the size/shape of your mouth/palate that determines crooked teeth, and that is determined by genetics.
More than one child
We were planning on only having one child, but 10 years later (she's almost 4 now) we did have a second one which I of course don't regret for a minute. The only thing I can say is don't listen to those that say you have to have a second child. That's all I heard for years. How can yo just have one, and on and on. It's nobody's business but you and your husband.
Yes, have gone since I was a child.
My kids also go, ages 20, 17 and 15. It fills my spiritual tank for the week and our pastor is so wonderful and uplifting and we have a fabulous congregation. I don't feel right if I miss a week.
No H is an only child LOL.
That is probably what the problem is too. No other children to dote on.
A dog is not a child and has different
needs from a child. But even a child is put in a bassinet to sleep in when they are small to control how much they roll around. Then later they are put in a crib. Is that a cage for you too? Or do you put the child on a full-size mattress and hope for the best? No, you carefully listen to all the rules about safe mattresses for infants and how soon pillows can be used and what position is safest for an infant.
For dogs, you need to get to know them before you give them free reign of the house. Otherwise they might get into something we didn't think of to put up and die. This dog is in the age range of 12-18 months. We can already tell he is inquisitive. We don't know how much time he has spent in a house because he was abandoned at the shelter. We will observe him and train him and grant him more freedoms as he proves himself ready.
Dogs in the wild use dens. You are misinformed, probably by PETA folks who would have you release your Yorkshire terrier to the wild to fend for itself if they had their druthers.
I was 29, he's my only child
before I had him I had two miscarriages in the same year (when I was 28). He is almost 13. I'm in downstate NY and at his school school (it's a Catholic school) many of his classmates' parents are at least as old as I am. Hope to get married soon but probably too late for another..
of course he is my child
I have his age wrong though. He is 31. How on earth can I or should I stop him from stating his own opinion? It is certainly not unusual for an 18-year-old male to use the word, even when talking about his evil GM. He was 18 when dear G'ma died. I'm telling you, the woman was evil, evil, evil!!!! Even my ex-DH (is there such a thing) didn't like her. The only reason my older son liked her was because he was the first grandchild and she worshipped him. When my SIL had 2 kids, they were okay for a while, then she didn't want to mess with them either. She liked dogs and cats more than people. And, by the way, I am really relating to all of you out there who go to your MIL's for all the holidays and not your mom's. I did that also, because I dearly loved my FIL and my SIL, BIL, etc. If I had it to do over again, I think I would have shared a little more. My mom is only 70, but no one is promised tomorrow. We do all holidays together now.
Right - I don't think they should take the child because (sm)
no matter what, children love their parents and would be traumatized to be taken away from them, so unless they are being terribly mistreated, I don't think they should ever be taken. Children who go thru life in foster homes are rarely ever happy. But Social Services could go in and help them get things cleaned up if that is why. It may not be, but in my case that was the problem. I eventually at about age 11 or 12 went out and bought bug spray and sprayed my hair and brushes and sprayed my PILLOW regularly to keep the bugs away. I am sure that was horrible for my health but I was desperate.
Because he's still YOUR CHILD, and he still needs to know he is welcome. nm
x
child with SVT. sm
Hi. My 16-year-old son is suspicious for SVT. Anyone else experience this? I had made an appointment for March, and now the doc is calling me and wants to see my son next week. He has already had an echo and an event monitor. Don't know if I should be freaked out or not.
Yes, first child....nm
xx
Would you have said anything about this child?
I was at a very big market (international) this morning and as I exited the lunch room to retrieve my cart, saw a very young child alone in a cart with no one around. I stood there not moving for several minutes wondering where a parent might be. I could not even see a person in front or back of him that seemed to be paying attention to this child (probably around 3 or 4 years of age). The serving line in front does have glass so I could see the people buying their lunches. Finally I noticed a man that was looking around frequently at the child and finally he got through the line and came and picked the child up. I approached him to say how it is so easy for a person to snatch his child (John Walsh's on AMW had his young child snatched and killed in similar, only taking a second) and this man looked annoyed and said thank you for your thoughts and hurried away. Clearly child endangerment here but would you have said anything or just let it go?
How do you know it was actually his child?
That's what's scary.
I have a child like this...
(This turned out long. Please stick with me.)
Like your son, it started in infancy. He could throw a fit that could go on for 30 minutes. If it was related to going to sleep, he would cry for hours no matter what I tried. (Yes, i did have him ruled out for medical causes.) He just could not calm himself down and he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. It started to feel like a war zone and the other kids were not getting the attention they needed because I felt like I had to deal with his bad behavior all the time.
When he was very young (infancy to about 3 years old), I would let him throw his fits and try to ignore them. After about 30 minutes, I picked him up and rocked him and he always seemed to be relieved and would start to calm down. I did not give into his demands. It just was a way for him to know that I loved him even when he acted bad.
But you know what... A few months ago (he is 5 now), he was acting up yet again and I tried to talk to him. I told him that I knew he was a good boy and that he was just having a hard time with his anger. He was totally blown away that I thought he was a "good boy." In his head, he thought he was bad. This was an eye opener for me.
Because I had my own issues with frustration, I decided to work on me first. I was sick of the war zone. That is still a work in progress, but I feel a lot more calm when dealing with him now.
I explain things to him up front. If we are going to a store, I tell him that I expect him to stand still by me. If he wants to look at something, he can ask me, etc. Then I ask him what he thinks the consequence will be if he does not mind. Sometimes he answers, sometimes not. Then, I tell him exactly what will happen. No favorite TV channel or no playing with a favorite toy, something like that. Just so he knew exactly what would happen if he makes certain CHOICES. I also don't argue. It only gets me wound up. I put the onus back on him. Counting 1...2...3 gives him a warning to change his behavior or deal with consequences.
I also communicate a lot about other's people reactions to when he "acts good" and "acts bad." How the things that happen to him are often influenced by his CHOICES. "Other children may not want to play with someone who ...only wants their way ... does not share ... hits." "If you share your toy, your friend probably want to share his toys with you."
I praise him when I notice he has done something "good", like brushing his teeth without being reminded. I tell how much I appreciate it (Because I do. When you have 3 kids, its a really help when they can do something for themselves. ) Someone knowledgeable told me the ratio of praise to discipline is 4:1. I doubt that I hit that ratio, but I do look for things my kids do right.
None of this is easy for me. I feel like I am talking myself blue in the face. I am naturally quiet and not always willing to communicate verbally. I'm praying the more I communicate now, then eventually I won't have to talk so much later. Or at least, we can talk about more pleasant things.
I will say though that my son is starting to understand that he will not always get his way, and if he cooperates with me, I am willing to cooperate with him. There has been good improvement since I started with this in April.
from a child
My son used to say mazagine and hangaburger instead of magazine and hamburger when he was about 3. I loved that. Not common to most people but it was common to him. :)
If this was MY child??? sm
I would be working my way up the food chain at that school. Who in the he!! at that school thinks they know what my child needs or doesn't need? The last I knew, raising children is up to the parents; not the school, not the state, and CERTAINLY NOT A LESBIAN TEACHER!! I was so upset when I just READ the story that it was all I could do to stop myself from sitting down and writing a letter to the school and giving them a piece of my mind.
To any and all parents in that school district...the threat of recall is an extremely potent weapon. Use it!!
I only have one child, a son..sm
so that helps. I usually spend about $300 on my son, but this year I have spent $400 already on a playstation 3 he has wanted ever since they came out last year. I can't just give him that so I have to buy him some other little things to open. My mom and mother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to buy playstation 3 games because after spending $400 on it I can't buy the games too, which are about $60 each. So I still have to buy some small things for him so I will probably spend about $500 on my son this year. The most I have ever spent on him and he is 10. Like I said it is usually no more than $300. I try to spend no more than $100 on my husband, but this year I know he has said how he would love to have an ipod. So I am going to buy one for about $150. I have my dad to buy for and mom. I know I will probably spend about $50 on my mom. My dad I am not sure yet. In-laws are usually about $20-25 each. My sister about $25. My brother in law about $20. My 2 nephews about $20 each. I also have a niece I will spend about $20-30 on. I try to spend a little more on my niece because my sister in law spends a lot on my son. So you see I have a lot of people to buy for. I don't even know how much that is all together but it ain't cheap. And the people I buy for I have to cause they do for us.
Your child isn't doing bad if he AM
is receiving dental care and has a Wii already. Why are you hell-bent on making money off a fluke? You certainly aren't setting an example your child should follow by selling it and I hope they DON'T give a gift receipt. 
How old is your child?
x
We did that as a child sm
I hate to "date" myself but we were a struggling large family and my Dad went across the street and asked a guy if he could rent his empty lot to grow some vegetables, etc. Not only was it fun but we had tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, etc., and it was great. The only negative thing I remember about it was the tomato cut worms, ugly little suckers! I think it's a fun thing to do and a good lesson for the family (and healthy). Be sure the soil is "good" though. You can have it tested for pH at any college lab (I think). Throw in some flowers, that would be cool. I am going to do some big sunflowers this year, I used to hate them but I think we need them and you can bake, salt and eat the seeds. Have fun!!!
Oh it seems the child did not have it when ...sm
they entered the US or at least showed no symptoms. So my mistake. They had no way of knowing the child had it. Poor kid.
I know this and I am sorry your child - sm
and your family had such a horrible experience. In any way, shape or form it is a horrible thing for any family to go through especially when your child suffers and does not make it through. I know not all kids or adults have an easy time, I am not a total dolt though I am sure you think I am, fine. Some get lucky and it does not affect them as much as others for some strange reason. Jen was on dantinomycin and vincristine, the vincristine was quite nasty and that is what gave her the nausea and make her puke the few times she did. She ate a lot of Zofran though and with that she had a pretty good tolerance to it for some reason, she felt the worst though when the dactinomycin was added in, 7 times. I too find the ped onc very depressing and switched jobs so I did not have to type kids anymore, too upsetting, now I only do adults which I can handle pretty well except for the ones who procratinate to sure fire death sentence. Rant all you want, I have no problem with it. I know this is about this woman's choice, again I think she/boy are wrong, some feel she is right, fine. Agree to disagree.
What do you do when your child gets in trouble?
Spank/Swat
Time Out
Natural Consequences (ie, if they won't stop throwing food, then lunch is over, or if they run away while you're out, it's time to go home)
Re-direction (ie, trying to get your child to focus on something else)
Other (possibly a combination of methods or something else entirely)
Depends on the age of the child
:)
You Will Never Guess What A Child Said
I stopped to get gas this afternoon. As I was about to walk out a man & his son walked over to me to say hello. The boy was a child I worked with a few years ago when he was in kindergarten. He is now in 3rd grade. He was always a very rough talking child, just like his parents. Always talking about kicking someones ar*e, & getting drunk, poppin a cap, stuff like that. He would push the other kids out of his way, grab things away from them, couldn't stay in his seat, very hyper as well. The parents put him on meds & that really calmed him down so he could focus on his work.
The Dad said hello, then the little boy looked at me & said "I got a hot dog & its in my underwear, you wanna see it"? I'm standing there stunned & the Dad laughs hysterically & then says " He's just like me ain't he"? The clerk was frozen in disbelief & so were several customers that were standing in line. I turned & walked out the door & as I was leaving I heard the Dad say to the boy, "you're somethin else Billy, thats a good one, I'm proud of you son".
What a foul mouth bunch of hillbillys they are. If one of my kids had said anything remotely like that their little mouths would be washed out with soap, they would have been made to apologize, & they would never do it again. I cannot believe that a Father would be proud of his son for talking dirty like that to an adult, especially a woman. Where in the world do these people come from?
would depend on what CD it is. and is your child 12 or 17?
i just bought my 13 yr old son a ps2 game that had some kind of warning on it, but he has already been playing it at his friends, just found that out...so i thought..whats the big deal..
In ballet and tap as a child
I went forever and loved it, like the post saying the pretty costumes, still have pictures of me then. Oh, was I a hotsi-totsi! I think I may have been a little older but still magical. Sorta like being a little princess.
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