Listen if small children tell you someone is inappropriate
Posted By: Sandy on 2009-01-16
In Reply to:
The majority of the time- the majority- little children are not going to say someone touched them inappropriately or such thing sexual unless it is happening or has happened- they just do not. Listen and learn from the children.
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What about her 2 small children?
That is what really bugs me about her and her behavior. What kind of role model is this for her children?? Just irks me to death what she has been doing. I do not care that she has a nanny or someone watching those kids. Why did she have them????? if all she wanted to do was party and act like a spoiled brat?
Small children, in first grade and
3rd or 4th but I remember feeling so special when I was in a child about this age because I had diamond rings (not big, chip diamonds mostly) that my grandmother gave me, had several boxes of them and if I lost 1 I chose another. I am not talking about spending over 50$ apiece on these.
No, I think that is inappropriate SM
Even worse my son's first grade teacher told me son, "Angels aren't real." Fine...she doesn't believe (whatever), but she most certainly did NOT have to tell my son that Angels are not real!! We happen to practice a Christian faith, and we believe...and for her--an authority figure in his life and someone he would believe without question--to tell my son otherwise infuriated me. This was also the school that would not sing "We wish you a Merry Christmas" at their "winter program" and instead sang, "We Wish you a Merry Winter Solstice." Ohmygosh! Better to leave the song OUT of their program than to turn it into something pagan (sorry to offend those of you who are pagan, but I imagine if the situation were opposite and we changed one of your songs you wouldn't like it either).
Oh well...I guess all you can do is just openly speak to your kids and explain that some kids (and adults) believe and some don't. My 3rd grade son believes in Santa about 50 percent I would say...leaning toward not believing...but it is just something fun for kids, ya know?
I'm sorry about this!
Chickadee
Inappropriate??!!???
That 911 operator needs to be *#%@* fired, yesterday!
tell the guy it's inappropriate; do not allow it again.
nm
Is it inappropriate to ask someone (sm)
I have been seeing a man for a little over a year. During this time he has had financial issues and I have given him money without expecting it to be returned. Recently his financial issues got worse and I was not in a position to help. Now he is telling me that he "has money coming to" him but he doesn't say from where. It is almost like he is specifically avoiding saying from where. Normally I would not ask anyone about their finances, but he has never had a problem with telling me he had financial problems and taking money from me, but now that I could not help him, he is getting it from somewhere and not saying where. It makes me wonder if it is from another woman. Am I being paranoid? Should I come right out and ask or is it just none of my business?
That's inappropriate.
How about when you are pregnant and tell them you don't want to know the gender - then they proceed to say "she" throughout the rest of visit when referencing your baby.
What's inappropriate to some...
is dead on the money for others. Some become uncomfortable when posts hit close to home, resulting in bashing of others. In a nutshell, we don't live above our means, we have a very nice lifestyle and we live debt free by choice. I think that is the American dream, not working at a job you hate, being in debt up to your eyeballs with no way out and still buying things you just gotta have now and living hand to mouth. There are others out there who agree with me, believe it or not. A lot of you here just wallow in your self-pity and poor me attitudes. No wonder the other board is so much better, there are positive attitudes over there.
Looking for inappropriate comments? I don't think so! (sm)
Okay......and thanks for your input. I am the OP and I just want for you to know that I think that your comment was a little on the ignorant side. "I am not soooo appalled." I was a little shocked that he cared so much to go out of his way to make sure I found the right size bra. (He walked away from his job to come over to the checkout counter that I was at and felt the need to ask that, even though I was being checked out by a female clerk that was fully capable of making sure that I found what I needed?) Even the female clerk looked at him and said "What are you talking about?" I told her about the bra I returned to his service desk an hour earlier and she said "He is weird. That is none of his business!"
For the record, I receive male attention frequently and I am not easily offended or overly prudish when comments are made to me. This on the other hand was a bit strange.
My intentions were to ask others if they would consider this question to be inappropriate or not if they had been asked the same question under the same circumstances. I am not playing 'poor victim' here as I consider this a minor incident (yet still inappropriate).
In my opinion, it sounds to me like you don't get many comments offered to you and perhaps you would welcome them if you did? (That's what I get from your comment anyways!)
Totally inappropriate.
He sounds like he's good at his job and also at flirting. He is interested in getting to know you better? Why doesn't he just come out and say - hey baby, how about a roll in the hay? Keep us posted if you pursue this. I'd like to know how things go. Believe me, he knows he's good looking. Good Luck and be careful.
"Did you find one that fit" is inappropriate? I don't think so.
x
You are totally correct and it was inappropriate.
Don't listen to the obviously ignorant posters. First of all, this is a bra were are talking about. He went out of his way to come over to make that comment to you. He later told you he thought you were pretty and may have been "overly friendly" to you. And even the girl at the counter said, "he's weird, why would he ask you that", totally confirming the fact that it was indeed inappropriate and uncomfortable. I don't know if I would do anything about it, but just know some of us do not think you are overreacting or seeking attention and you are 100% right in your feelings of being violated. Some of the others probably can only wish this happened to them if you get my drift.
Totally inappropriate, but I think I would probably ignore it.
nm
In some areas of the country it isn't really inappropriate sm
Not to be disagreeable but where I live a simple kiss on the cheek is pretty normal when meeting someone, etc. So perhaps it is a more common thing where that person is from and therefore there may have been no ulterior motive behind it. I recently went to my brother's wedding and quickly realized that not everyone wanted a kiss on the cheek when I gave them their lei at the luau party - though it is custom here.
I would do it right back, all the time in inappropriate - sm
situations. Give his crotch a grab and squeeze, or pinch his butt, etc.....and I would do it in front of others and see how he likes being treated as a piece of meat. Of course if you do this when no one is around he will take it as in invitation so this approach does have its down side. If he persists, then I would just slap him or his hands until he cuts it out.
your opinion is again inappropriate, as you do not support yourself.
nm
This is a very inappropriate and wrong comment, why do you say this?..nm
nm
That is just mean. I'm not defending inappropriate clothing sm
but your nasty little comment is mean for no reason at all. Don't overweight people face enough trials in their lives w/o someone like you making "big panties" comments?
thank you, anon. And this, Philly, is why your posts are inappropriate.
nm
it's not illegal, but it's inappropriate & he shouldn't be allowed to teach anymore
x
Children having children not a new thing, where do you live?
My son, who is now in his early 40s, told me years ago when in high school about all the teenage mothers that were at his school and said they brought the babies to school, and he seemed to think it was like the girls having playdolls like when you were little. This is not new and apparently folks think alright to have their children sans marriage, be it preteens, teens or adults. I guess my years alone do not make me shocked at anything anymore. Others talk about this job being isolated and your post says some of this if you were shocked at what the son said.
But, now listen to this
the mother has been held in contempt of court 12 times so she is not an angel either. Things are not hunky-dory on her part either.
Listen to your PCP sm
See my message above re yoga breathing. I have a friend who has adult-onset ADD. Yes, it can happen - or maybe she had just found ways to compensate all these years until she was diagnosed.
You might want to check into it further....
Thank you...do you really think they will listen to me (sm)
in this situation? I assumed they were only there for people who are being physically abused. Which he did a few years ago, but has not done since. I should have left then...but of course I didn't.
I'm sure they would listen you...
dont know where you live but they also have laws regarding what you can keep on your property, i.e., live pigeons,etc. There is also a law on how many ducks you can have in possesion at one time, meaning the dead ducks in his freezer. You can get into some hefty fines for that though so think hard about it before you start down that road.
I did listen when I was a kid either.
My parents were just a bunch of dumb hard azes that all they wanted to do was prevent me from having any fun. Well, the older I got, the smarter they got.
I am now going through it with my kids and I sometimes wonder how they ever kept sane. LOL. I have a smart-alecky mom that likes to say "payback time."
Please listen up........JMO
I had a male family member that went to stay with cousin every summer. His parents would see attitude changes, a little anxiety maybe afterwards, but he was a high strung kid. Years later, around 21 years, he told his parents the cousin molested him. They even had this kid come to their home for summer. Their child never said anything because he felt because he was a family member, the family would be upset with him or cause family problems, even though his parents had always talked to their children about anyone, including family members, that may touch or act inappropriately toward them to come and tell them immediately. It was devistating to the parents. I feel so sorry for them. They can't stand to be around their own nephew but their child does not want anyone else to know. But because of his age, they don't know what else to do but not say anything because he has asked them not to.
I don't mean to sound negative, but I would have second thoughts now letting a male child go stay with another male child, especially one a little older. That really opened my eyes to just how things happen under the wire and you don't know, no matter how in tune you think you are with your child. Sorry to turn this into a worst case scenario but just be aware.
Listen, you.
I work for a large, world-class teaching hospital and I do pediatric endocrinology.
It's a very small percentage, but it's not nonexistent. Thinking that it only happens to someone else is one of the more stupid things I've heard in a long time.
I should mention that I am 42, have 2 children and done with having children. nm
nm
You must a) not have children or b) your children are young
I don’t see them as being spoiled- I see lots of kids in the age group of one (30+) who are totally in the me scene, not just the 1 I have- she married and her husband same - a me type person. The other not spoiled but just got nasty when he did not get the money left to me and he thought he should. Just to think, this was my chosen 1 if I had to choose. Oh well, live and let live is the way I see things now.
yes. find a doc that will *listen* to you--sm
(good luck in that regard), but sounds like it could be a thyroid condition or maybe fibromyalgia, or like *hayseed* said, some type of autoimmune thing. good luck to you!
Let him sit down and listen to what you do and say try to transcribe it... (sm)
May be he will understand that these are legal documents and it is your responsibility to make it that way!! Sometimes they have to walk in your shoes or sit in your chair, so to speak, to understand. Hope this helps!!
I don't listen to music, but I have the TV SM
on in the room next to me. Can't miss my Golden Girls. It just relaxes me and I feel like someone is here and the mood is lightened if I am stressed. 
Tell me how to listen to the news when
I get sooooo out of sorts listen to the idiotic, stup*d things people are doing each and every day. The stories I am hearing today- a mother gets on her daughters bus to have the child to fight for herself- with the mother holding the backpack for her child so "it would not get in her way." I think the mother charged with contributing to the deliquency in that case. The mother is telling the courts she is gonna teach her child how to defend herself?? What a crap! Another case today is mother who threw her 6 month old child at a police officer when the mother being investigated for having drugs in her trailer, another mother doused her 3 children with solvent, fires them up and the youngest child has died. Friends let a blind guy drive and he has wreck and dies- what in the hel* is happening with this news business. I cannot hear the news without all this insanity..
My veterinarian did not listen
I went this morning to get 2 more prescriptions for my oldest catt as she needs something for appetite stimulation and she has a thyroid problem (just like her mama.) I was talking with the front office and talking about the fact that she was still having issues with throwing up. Lord knows I have tried anything I could think of, changing the food several different ways- I would hand feed if it would help- and I brought up the subject of anything else over-the-counter I could use besides the Imodium they told me I could try. The front desk then tells me the Imodium not for problems with throwing up but soft stools?? They then went back to read on her chart where veterinarian had made note of my saying soft stools. This NEVER happened. I have not had a problem with those. You know, from the vets to your regular physicians, these people are just NOT listening. I called yesterday in fact to reorder her medications so would not have to wait and you guessed it, not ready when I got there and still had to wait. Why, why - This is a big problem and not just with animal doctors, with regular physicians.
Don't listen to that one mean poster (sm)
That is so sweet - don't listen to these people. If he was 12 I might be concerned. I lay in the bed at night with my 10 year old and read to him every night. He thinks I'm his mom, that's all. Your son will get through this. It is just a phase I'm sure.
Enablers listen up.
I posted on this board about this before. Anyone who is an enabler should take heed. Just found out tonight my high school friend of 40+ years has lost her son at the age of 34. He basically gave up, drank himself into a stupor, would not accept any help about getting him in a hospital and now has died. He had cirrhosis, kidney failure, has been on a vent- I tried to talk and talked incessantly to her about her not throwing a rope to him all the time. She has lived her life for him as well as her other son (who is in his 30s also) and ran for them, paid their bills, let her own self go to finance their wants and such. I am positive when he finally just sat down and refused to get up and finally could not get up that she probably still went to his home and I am sure she still took him beer. No amount of talking would ever change her mind that she was doing the wrong thing for him. She does this with her other son as well. She has made both of these grown children invalids and yet she did not see and does not see still. I am sorry for her loss but when do enablers ever think or know that possibly it is them that cause a codependency relationship like this? Folks, if your children are still leaning on you to support them, please understand how much harm you actually do. I feel sorry for her loss.
I can't listen to it, for reasons I just can't go into. nm
!
my money's on your dog. Listen to
him. My old dog one time was growling so low I did not hear her,I felt it through the leash at a park. It was a really nice looking young man whom I would not have been suspicious of at all, but when I looked down at her, her fur was up and she was poised to attack, a typical german shepherd stance with one back leg crouched. She did not like him at all and was not even wasting her time barking. I had to hold up hand up to him and tell him to stop where he was. This was a first although I had seen her become very protective in the house, always slept between me and the door and she always tried to answer the door ahead of me. It turned out these were gypsy pavers staying in my sister's park and they were all nothing but trouble, even making the news in Chicago when one mistreated her child in the parking lot.
There are several sides here, listen!
You had pain - you had suffering - you don't want to be alone. Set some rules, don't have any alcohol in the house at all. If anyone wants to visit at the holidays, they'll have to drink tea or coffee. That's what I do and barely anyone comes. So case closed as far as that goes. No one is saying you're a bad person, what they're saying is don't write your Mom and your Grandmom out of your life because you are punishing yourself. You are in the medical profession or associated with it. You know this goes on all th time in most families that will admit it. The posters who tell you to get over it mean well, they want you to have a family. You set the ground rules. Your OP said you want to forgive but cannot forget. You have gotten off the track here, read your OP again to yourself. Give them another chance with your rules, that's all people are trying to get across to you, according to your OP. Get back on track with the forgive thing and you will be happier. Just set the rules. Believe me, we've been there and just haven't posted what we've been through. Your story sounds familiar. There were no rules to protect children like there are now. You mom must have gotten the same treatment and her mom or they never would have done the behavior. Hate the sin and not the sinner is all anyone said here. They're just trying to shake you into reality before you spend a lonely holiday. If they don't keep their side of the bargain, then you have to tell them, not us. It's up to you, you asked for opinions and you may not like what you got, but you asked and people answered. God bless you and your son. Try to have a happy family holiday if you can.
Oprah probably does not have to listen to all the
Indian speakers I have to day after day.
don't listen to this garbage
No, no, no. Do not listen to this. Someone is making a play for your guy. Don't doubt it.
you'd best listen to other poster.
At least check it out through another source. don't EVER trust an employer that much, unless you just want to open yourself up to being taken.
Exactly what my husband said. Could not listen to
nm
Your gut is telling you something - Listen!
x
Doctors do not always listen
I needed bilateral ear surgery (typmanoplasty and mastoidectomy) not too long ago. The physician left it up to me which ear to do first, depending on my pain and hearing. I chose the left due to the amount of pain and drainage.
I reported to the hospital (a very prestigious teaching hosptial - in US New and World Reports top 5) that morning and the OR consent form stated the wrong ear. It said the right, rather than the left. I explained to the resident it was wrong and he proceeded to ARGUE with me, that I should just sign the consent form. I finally asked to see my own surgeon prior to signing and he agreed with me and changed it and reversed the OR equipment etc.
In my case it would not have made much difference since I needed 2 surgeries any way.
But what about the older, scared, and confused patient with no family there?
Maybe the patient did state the prima donna physician did not listen.
listen to your conscience...there is your answer--sm
not to mention the 10 commandments...thou shall not kill.
Or have him listen and just try to repeat what was dictated.
w
Do you listen to music while you work?? (sm)
I do sometimes if I get sleepy or if my mind starts to wander. Not anything with words that I would pay attention to, mostly just music, fast paced helps me type faster - anyone else? Just curious
I really tried, and my daughter didn't listen, now HIV+
I hear what you are saying and if words alone would have done it, my daughter would never, ever wound up like now. I was NOT overbearing, too lenient in fact now that I think back. I have posted here before, in the 80s about every other report was HIV but then NO name for it, did not want where from, horrible dictations and I tried. People just do not understand that talking, religious upbringing, close-knit families, whatever still does not stop a child from indulging in sexual behavior if they want to. I probably would focus more now on the SAFER aspect of sex, nothing can be completely safe except no sex at all. I understand but hopefully you can be close enough to help her get birth control and also a frank talk about SAFER sex. Lordy, you got to get around the sexual issue before worrying about the smoking.
Is this an indicator I should divorce - listen to this (sm)
I posted yesterday about my husband planning things without me.... Then yesterday he sent an e-mail that his company is looking for someone to go to Africa to work for 5 to 6 months early 2008 and should he apply. I got all excited at the thought of him being gone for that long!! How awful is that?? I can remember when I would be sad that he had to be gone for three or four days! Now he tells me he was kidding and that he would never really go work in Africa like that. I was disappointed! I have been trying to decide if I would be regretful if I divorced him but I can't believe my reaction to the possibility of him being gone and my disappointment that he was staying!
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