Life is too short to live it in fear. I'd rather sleep in my car -sm
Posted By: Just my opinion on 2008-08-25
In Reply to: Regardless it all comes out and I still -sm -
than with someone who mistreated me either physically, OR 'just' psychologically. And even if the kids don't actually see anything happening, you better believe they're still picking up on the bad vibes.
The fact that he mentions killing HIMSELF, in addition to you, is a major red flag. If a person reaches a point where they actually talk about doing something, they're alot closer to doing it than when they were just thinking it to themselves.
Guns in the house. (Guns, pleural!) Not good. I'd have insisted those be gone before the wedding day, myself. (Haha - it'd be in the prenuptial agreement that I'd never get married without!)
Anyway, living in fear for the sake of the greater financial 'security' of having 2 incomes is no security at all, in my book. It's a huge sacrifice of your freedom, peace of mind, & safety. The greatest security you can give yourself or the kids is finding a way to provide for yourselves WITHOUT the 'help' of an abuser.
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Ain't no way on this earth I am going to live in fear
You all are really lacking a lot to have this man rule your lives. If you were a man I would tell you to man up but both of you lack a backbone.
Please read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It can save your life. NM
x
I would rather have my door open on a nice day, then live in fear...
That is not a way to live your life...and that is not living in la-la land...
Life is too short
Unfortunately, life is actually way too long to be very, very poor, old and alone, and if you can't get along with anyone when you are young, you are not going to be that hot of a catch at the nursing home.
Life is short. Who knows what could happen? Go for it! NM
x
Life is too short to be married
to someone I am unhappy with and especially, not in love with. I would not cheat but would be honest about my feelings and get out of the marriage. Before acting on anything, I would make sure I was divorced as should he. People will get hurt unfortunately, but I could never stay in a marriage knowing I loved someone else or I was unhappy. Life is too short and goes by too quickly. I want no regrets.
People will not like this answer but it's how I feel.
Life is short and you only get one go-round.
Is this what you wanted out of life? No marriage is perfect, but being faithful is a basic requirement, not to mention the deadly diseases out there. That's all I'll say other than to add, you're much stronger than I am & I hope it all works out for you & you find happiness & peace, one way or the other.
Me either...31 years now! Life's too short to be uncomfy!
x
Are you unhappy enough to leave? Your life is too short...
to spend it second guessing your relationship! It is either good or bad, worth fixing or not... It is your choice. If a man treats a woman like crap and she continues to take it she is also to blame. You can leave you know! There are good men out there, don't settle for less than what you deserve. If you want to be treated poorly those are the kind of man you are going to attract, the lousy ones. Women must stop being the victims. People treat you the way you LET THEM treat you. And those that say stay together for the sake of the children are nuts..especially if you have daughters, look at the example you are setting. I would much rather have a single parent (male or female) who was happy and well adjusted than be in a miserable two parent family where there is no mutual respect and love!
Besides many times life in jail is short anyway
or the criminal ends up with his own kind and fits in fine and learns more... so, if they live long enough (not killed by the other inmates) they learn how to be a better criminal. I just am agreeing there should be no parole. But oh boy, I'd never want to see the inside of one of those places.
Isn't life kind of short to be worried
probably peanuts compared to what we make working. Do you really think people on disability live the good life? JMO.
Life is too short to deal with nasty people. See mom alone when you
v
LIVE YOUR LIFE
Dear Sadgirl--three words for you....LIVE YOUR LIFE. You have allowed this man to take control of your life. Stop obsessing and develop relationships with people who will give back. Surely there are people in your life who you can talk with, spend time with, laugh with, cry with, live your life with! Life is so precious, time passes by so quickly. Stop wasting another minute of your life! Just like any other addiction, this unhealthy relationship will be difficult to break. Begin by staying away from the temptation. Keep your mind busy on other things and be with people as much as possible. And most importantly, talk to your pastor or a counselor about this. He will help you overcome. There is much more to your life than living for a few stolen moments with someone you can't have a future with. YOUR LIFE IS WAITING FOR YOU! LIVE IT!
seriously, go live your life, before he drags you down.
nm
Not where I live, 30 years to life?
Most do not even get 30 years for a murder.
I don’t care how you live your life, just don’t want to pay for your mistakes
I think I have made my point.
...and be happy! Still lots of life left to live
s
That I could live the rest of my life in a 25-year-old body.
.
short arms, short-term memory loss...
I too suffer from Short Arm Syndrome. Add to that the short-term memory loss that middle-age brings and I have now discovered I need to lasso the &*%$ reading glasses around my neck or my day will be spent wandering in circles asking the dog where my glasses are.
I have two pairs, per advice of doctor. I do not wear glasses all the time, so he thought I was not ready for bifocals. My son gave me a wonderful eyeglass case for Christmas that is big enough to hold both pairs should I ever venture out of the house amongst the living.
I did manage to find some "sporty" looking around-the-neck-eye glass holder thingies - what DO you call those things? I'd use twine before getting those multicolored beaded ones. I have a neon coral one and an emerald green one. Too bad I can't find the former, I can't remember where I put it.
Anyone find as you get older you get a more interrupted sleep pattern and sleep less and wake up
more at night. Any suggestions for this.
Sleep....beautiful sleep.... nm
.
I have a life, a great life at that. I just happen to include my canine family
t
Office; Life on Mars; Lost; Life; Pushing Daisies
nm
This is my fear also . . .
10-15 years from now they will find some horrible side effect.
re: fear
The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.
Psalm 121:5-8
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
re: fear
Fear is a tool that satan uses to keep us from doing what God is calling us to do. It is also actually sin cause it shows our lack of trust in the Lord. I'm not saying it will be easy to let him go, just that God will comfort you when you trust in Him....
Lovin Jesus,
Jan
why fear it when you won't know it??
:) I am about to turn 28 and I am already losing mine... I know I'm going to get Alzheimer's and that makes me SAD (SUPER sad), but im not afraid of it...
a little fear
can be a good thing, like pain...it tells you something is wrong.
There's a book called "The Gift of Fear," written by Gavin DeBecker. This is from the book jacket: "True fear is often a signal that can save your life. Are you listening?..." This is from the publisher of the book: "Through dozens of compelling examples from his own career, security expert Gavin deBecker teaches readers how to read the signs of impending danger by using their most basic--but often most discouraged--survival skill: intuition. This book provides a unique combination of practical guidance on leading a safer life and profound insight into human behavior."
BTW, I've read that one of the worst things women do (I'm totally guilty of this) is to sit in the car after coming from the store or post office or wherever, reading mail & balancing checkbooks while sitting in a parked car...perfect opportunity for some slimeball.
You did the right thing: Trusted your gut.
d.
If no fear, then what exactly is there to be 'against'?
X
I bet then he sensed his fear
Dogs can sense that a mile away. I know mine can. whenever anyone comes over that is nervous about dogs, the dogs wanna hang all over them and like double sniff them. LOL
my worst fear right now is that even
if I have cash in my hand, it will be worthless, and might as well use it as TP.
not one single fear
zero, zip, zilch, nada...
we are born with two fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. the rest we create or obtain on our own later in life. me: none, other than the two i was born with.
I got married out of fear. Then (sm)
I stayed married out of fear. Then he bought me a GPS and now I'm adventurous. Not being able to navigate was one of my biggest fears. Another fear was not having money. The way he spent our money, we never had any anyway.
that has always been a fear of mine..
that I would spill the grape juice or something.. I always feel like I'm soooo shaky with those little glasses..
your fear should not hold him back.
I understand your feelings, but this seems like a completely reasonable and good trip being planned, one that could mold his mind/heart for his future. Your son could make a very positive difference in many others lives. If you haven't already, learn to trust God.
I understand your fear! I have three sons between
17 and 20 years old. Now and then they talk about enlisting, and of course I worry about the draft. For selfish reasons, I want them always to stay close to home, where it seems to be safe. But it's a very high calling to serve one's country, and I would support that decision if my sons decided upon it. If the draft were brought back, I'd be terrified. I do not support this war. I don't think it was the right thing to do. But I do support the people who serve and respect their decisions and am incredibly grateful to them for their sacrifices. I will also continue to support them by doing whatever I can, small though it may be, to help bring them home AND keep peace for us all. I wish it were a simple thing.
As for our children, the fact is, once they are 18, they can make the decision to join without our consent. Talk to each other, love her and appreciate her. If she decides to serve her country, you do not want to part in anger, and trust me, you will want to support her in any way you can.
I think that's probably a common and rational fear (sm)
I can't stand it and I imagine most people, especially females, but also males, don't like it either.
Fear, not respect. It's not the same thing.
And the fear only lasts until they are bigger than you are and can hit back. You'll probably be surprised when that happens and can't imagine where it came from, but you're the one who taught them that violence is an acceptable way to deal with problems. Some other things it teaches are that it's OK to pick on/bully/hit anyone smaller than you who can't defend themselves in order to get what you want and that once you're an adult, anything goes.
Think about it. You spank a kid for hitting a sibling while telling him it's not nice to hit. You break the hair brush/ruler while paddling your kid for breaking something but you suffer no consequences for breaking something. What you get is confusion and fear, but not respect. Maybe the kid turns out OK; after all, there are other influences in his life. Maybe he doesn't. And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't have a gun.
Phobia means fear.
Everybody throws around the word homophobia, but that is not the right word. People who are against homosexuality are not afraid of it. They think it is wrong. It's just annoying to keep seeing this word used in this way.
I finished Harry Potter! Never fear - no spoiler.
Wow - what a great book & series. Brilliant! As Ron would say.
spanking builds fear that you mistake as respect
A child who has been abandoned by both parents has no trust in anyone. Why do you think spanking is the right way to build trust? We just need to agree to disagree on this issue. I trust the counselor's recommendations more than yours as hers have proven to work. Spanking does not _make_ ALL kids do good. Sigh.
I agree with Kendra, if you fear he would be physicall abusive - (sm)
then you need to be away from him. He is just your boyfriend, right? Not even your husband. I left a marriage recently from an abusive husband. He "only" beat me physically once, but he was controlling and emotionally abusive at other times AND he looked at young lesbian porn online. If I ever start dating someone and I get even a hint that they could ever become physically abusive to me I will run from that relationship so fast your head would spin. Please get away from him!! Dont even deal with it another day.
Yeah that's my fear. Trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but (sm)
I don't want to be a dummy either
I do live in Arkansas - my parents live up in Branson so I'm in Missouri quite often!
x
Calling all you animal lovers - live and let live or intervene? - sm
I have a dilemma. I am an animal lover and have something I cannot come to a conclusion about. At a restaurant where I eat lunch every Friday with a friend of mine, I have noticed a young male kitty hanging around outside looking for food. This past week he ran up to my friend and rubbed her legs and quietly meowed. I purposely did not try to pet him because I knew I would get attached and ignored him. Well, ever since then I find myself thinking about him and wanting to rescue him. Meanwhile, I already have 4 inside cats (2 rescues, 2 Maine Coons) and hubby really does not want another cat in the house because a few years ago I promised we would never have more than 4 (had up to 5 at one point previously). I actually have a huge screened deck he could stay on indefinitely because I do not believe in letting cats run loose for their own safety. I could provide plenty of food, a warm place to sleep, and veterinary care. At some point I would even probably work him into our household, but I just cannot do it at the moment. Just not sure I would be doing right by that kitty because I am sure he would be upset and confused for a good while as to where he was and what was going on, but is that better than being hungry and cold? I know there are lots of animal lovers out there. What does everyone think?? 
I'm a live-and-let-live person but had to draw the line
after I found HUGE holes in the walkway between my house and barn. I thought they were just little mice stealing grain, but then I spotted one and it was a HONKIN RAT! My poor olderly cat was out there with me at the time and saw it, and he hissed at it and ran away!
I asked for advice on what to do at a local agricultural board, because I have other animals and didn't want to use poison and conventional traps weren't working. They advised putting a large pale of water out with some seeds floating in it, figuring the rats would go for the seeds and end up drowning. That was a no-go because the water just froze up solid. I wound up reluctantly going with Decon because I just can't have my house destroyed. I haven't had seen any more rats or evidence of them stealing grain, so I'm guessing they have died. The guy at the grain store promised me the rats would not die in the building and stink the joint up, rather they would crawl off and die outside. I don't know if I believe that, as it is still winter here and decomposition would be holding off until it warms up. We'll see, but at least the destruction has been halted.
Good luck and I too say have no mercy, because you just don't need them destroying hour house or causing a spark chewing wires and burnin' the place down. It is war!
 (How un-PC is this emoticon?!)
Definitely short ones
I love in Fridays when my doc does all his patients that were tested for allergies that week.
Make them live outside? This is so funny! Ours live outside, where they WANT to be. sm
Not all dogs want to be in "indoor" dogs, mind you. They have plenty of space to run around and play, fenced, and if they are brought in during bad weather they whine at the back door to go back out! So before you comment on outside dogs, you really need to get your facts straight. Seriously. Not all dogs are made or want to be inside all of the time.
Short. Not in the least bit Jewish.
x
hopefully this will be short-lived
I'd still send pictures, etc., especially to your grandparents. Good luck!
My hair is very short right now.
Short layers and all I have to do is spray a little hairspray on it and run my fingers through it and I'm good to go. It has gotten much thicker over the years and hair color has helped with that too. I hate that I have to color my hair, though. I started going gray almost 20 years ago and I just turned 40.  At some point, I will bite the bullet and let the color grow out, but haven't gotten there yet. Not ready to be totally gray.
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