Letting a child about Santa isn't lying, sheesh
Posted By: MQmomma on 2006-12-13
In Reply to: I have a problem with - the whole Santa thing period....sm
Telling about Santa isn't lying, it's a rite of childhood for millions of kids, as is the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I see no harm in giving my children hope in something so good as Santa. I don't remember being crushed as a child when I found out about Santa, I only remember the joy of waking up on Christmas morning to a full stocking and the anticipation of waiting for the big guy. We were so poor that I don't know how we ever had a Christmas but somehow there were always gifts from Santa, to me that's what he's about, not lying but believing.
People take really strange things far too literally, takes the fun out of the simple things in my opinion.
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It is NOT the teachers place to tell a child that Santa doesn't
yeah I just might sue as well!
Sheesh!... sm
I applaud you for wanting to get her this book. I had my kids 20+ years ago and had that book given to me. I loved it and read it cover to cover! Many friends and family members borrowed it and loved it as well. My daughter had a baby two weeks ago and has the newer version - also read cover to cover and constantly referred to it. She was already very educated about pregnancy and childbirth. She's not willing to part with the book or I would offer it to you. Have you tried Ebay?
Hopefully posting a picture of my precious granddaughter.
Sheesh yourself, and why the name-calling? sm
Just because someone disagrees with your opinion? The point of the CDW poster is that if you are tracing "life" back to conception, you are including those fertilized ova. Just like test tube EMBRYOS.
Sheesh, no I don't shop on either on those sites. They
jaj;da
Sheesh. Go take a Prozac or a Valium and
At least keep your venom to the Politics board, would ya? sheesh nm
nm
Thank you for letting us
know the child survived. I didn't want to look up the story.
The initial post should have not only put the post in the message but also don't just drop a bomb like that and then walk away.
letting go
I am so excited for your son. What an awesome opportunity.
My daughter is a bit younger and she had an opportunity to go to Central America (which is closer and safer I know) for the summer on a mission trip. I received a LOT of negative feedback from family and friends for letting her go, especially since she is under 16, but she had an opportunity to be part of something bigger than her "what do I wear today" kind of life. She loves God and feels called to the mission field and I am sure this summer was her first of many trips.
I know it will be a real stretch for you as a parent, as it was me, but I had to trust that she belongs to God before me and God could keep her safer than I could. She loved it and grew as a person and as a Christian.
Hope that helps. I will be praying for your family.
Thank you for letting me know - NM
NM
Would you think someone was lying if they said this? (sm)
I have someone I have been seeing for a while who never calls but emails me all the time telling me that he loves me and misses me. But he always says it like this, "I really love you, I mean it. I hope you believe me." or "I am going to miss you while you are gone, I hope you believe that." It is starting to bother me that he always has to add the "I mean it"or "I hope you believe that" part. Why would I not believe it? Why would he not mean it? Does it sound like a lie to you?
He has always written me the sweetest, loveliest emails yet never calls (maybe 10 calls in an entire year and a half). I don't see him all that often but when I sugggest seeing someone else he gets upset and begs me not to, says he will do better, but then things stay the same. I really do care for him but I am starting to wonder if I am just being taken advantage of. He has borrowed small amounts of money from me throughout this time, most of which I have told him not to worry about paying back. So now I am wondering if he is just writing the sweet emails to try to keep the gravy train rolling? 
it's not lying
It's just not. I was about to get all preachy and talk about how we need mythology in our lives--stories that tell teach us morals, that remind us of our traditions--but I'll stay off the soapbox for now and just say that for as long as my kids are willing to believe, I will give them stories to believe in. The five-minute cry when they discover Santa isn't real, is more than made up for by the years of joy beforehand, don't you think?
As for talking in front of the kids, I don't think that's really a big deal, either. Kids love to put this stuff together in their heads, make up stories about it--how come there are so many store Santas? How come mom and dad are hiding these presents in the attic? They ask those questions and still believe. They're kids; they're good at that.
lying
If he is routinely confessing to you about his indiscretions, assuming this is how you know about them, and he is not afraid of you or the consequences, I assume all things being equal, you are free to do the same.
Calling when going somewhere and letting you know
she arrived safely is one thing. Teaching a child that forgetting something once in a while is some horrible thing is another story all together. We ALL, and I do mean ALL, forget things from time to time. I don't care how many lists you make, how organized you are or anything else, we all forget things. It may be a coat, something on our list that we made or somebody's birthday, but we ALL forget things. My children did learn from their mistakes but, once again, not from cruelty, but simply because it was a life lesson. They are both wonderful you adults who work full time jobs and are responsible people. While they had guidelines and rules to follow and knew and reaped the consequences of not following the rules set before them, we did not rule with an iron thumb. We knew they were human and would make mistakes along the way and learn from them. Sorry this was so long, but this type of treatment of children really makes me sad. I wanted my children to know that I loved them more than I wanted to rule them. They still respect me and I talk to both of them several times a week and have a wonderful relationship. 
This is all about forgiveness and letting go
Obviously your husband has some deep hurts and a lot of anger. Forgiveness is the key. I know it's a lot easier said than done but it benefits the person doing the forgiving, not the "forgivee". It doesn't mean he is condoning what was done to him. Maybe the stepfather is doing the best he knows how, who knows. We all have our issues. Your husband does need to work on his anger and not bring the kids into it though. Prayers for your hubby and your family. 
Also if you stay away you are letting him win(sm)
As that seems to be his goal -I would not let him keep me from seeing the rest of my family. However, I also would not want my children exposed to his mouth, so if you cannot stay in a hotel,I would go and visit without your children, which I do sometimes as well. I see my family about twice a year, usually once by myself and once with the kids, at which time we stay in a hotel.
the lying is only part of it
Obviously there is more going on than just the fact that he is lying.. Why is he lying - what is he doing with the money?
You certainly weren't lying after
.
Appreciate your letting us know - mine is scheduled
x
Problems with lying on back? anyone else?
For a couple of years I have had trouble with trying to sleep on my back....if I lay flat on my back for more than 10 or 15 minutes I get extremely nauseated...if I fall asleep on my back, I wake up freezing cold. I am a little overweight but not obese. I do have a rather large chest though...I have been embarassed to go mention this to my doctor because it sounds silly to me, but yet it happens every time. The last few days I have been having pain between my shoulder blades and palpitations....I am starting to really worry about my heart but I am just embarassed to go and mention it. I am 40 years old. I know some of you will scold me for not already going....but has anyone else had these symptoms?
Problems with lying on back? anyone else?
Don't be embarrassed about going to the Doc!
Honestly, it sounds like your body is trying to tell you something is wrong. Please get thee to a Doc asap! If nothing else, at least for peace of mind!
Husband lying and I am going carzy
At least once a week I catch my husband in a lie, and it is always about money. He writes checks and lies to me about what they are for, how much they are for, etc. If I ask him how much money he has on him he will even lie to me how much he has. This is just a general question I ask him to know if I need to go get my own or if he has enough for whatever we have planned. When I asked him about it he gets angry and defensive and "cannot remember." Or he will say he told me about it and make me feel I am going crazy. We are actually trying to do Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace" which says you NEED TO COMMUNICATE ABOUT MONEY AND KNOW WHERE IT IS GOING. What do you think is going on? Where do I get help? I am ready to leave, as he has been lying to me like this the whole 16 years of our marriage. He had a major gambling problem years ago and a counselor once told him, even though you've stopped the gambling you have not stopped the behavior, but he still doesn't get it. I have been in counseling three times with this man. I feel like i am the only one giving 100% to this marriage. I just need to know that it's okay for me to be frustrated and upset and ready to leave this marriage because of it, or am I just freaking out too much? He makes me feel crazy most of the time!!!! Our kids adore him, but I cannot live with him. What do I do?
I'm not letting my kids get a real
tattoo. If they decide they want a tattoo, it will have to wait until they're 18 and pay for it themselves. I said they are saving for the airbrush tattoos at the beach. They wear off after about 6 weeks and there's no permanent damage, no needles, just airbrush.
I think sometimes parents don't choose their battles wisely and that causes more problems than the issue itself.
I certainly do my fair share of lying
but i can't say that i've ever really made up anything huge but nobody has ever really called me on it either. Maybe those I lie to are either just gullible or too nice to say anything about it or maybe not good at spotting a lie. I don't know, but I do know I lie a lot. Maybe it's because of my low self-esteem, and maybe that's why people don't really call me on it, because they pity me too much.
I'm sure he says those things while you're letting
It's not a mistake if you plan on letting him
do that every night. Believe me I know. We've had several dogs over the years and every single time we've given in and let them on the furniture or bed just one time - they take it as a sign that they are welcome there all the time. Now we have 3 LARGE dogs who think they need to sleep in our bed every night. :)
In my opinion - your first mistake is letting your son live with her sm
and you having "no say about it". Huh! You are his mother aren't you?
Not trying to be rude, I most certainly would not have any of my kids living with an "ex- anything" and only living with me. 15 and the teens for that matter are very tender ages and need their parents guidance in all aspects of their lives.
I have a 15 year old and 17 year old, both very athletic, and neither would live with a family member or ex-family member just for a sport.
Believe it or not - sports are not everything, but academic achieves are. We are in the hunt for colleges as my 17 y/o is a senior in high school. Guess what, they don't care if they play sports - they want their GPA, rigor of their courses and their grades, as well as SAT scores. Even if a scholarship is offered, in my case, football, they still need to meet requirements.
So, I would re-think the teen's living arrangements if I were his mother.
Well...I am always nervous about letting my kids do things like that (sm)
But I usually let them do it. However, it would depend on the parents. I mean if the guy reeks of alcohol - how bad? Do you mean he drinks a beer or two on the weekends or is he a drunk? Will he be driving your son in a car or boat? If so, I would not be comfortable with that. I have said no at times if I am uncomfortable for a reason, but I always have to think it through and see if there is real danger or if I am just being me - a worry wart. I would find out if that dad is going, if he will be driving the car, if he will be driving a boat, etc. and make my decision from that.
Letting person finish sentence
My hubs has called it to my attention several times that I do this to him. I really love, admire and cherish him and I am glad he has not given up on me like some of the above state. It is not done intentionally but I think sometime he sorta stammers and huh, huh it 1 time too much and then here I rush in. Oh, well I am an Aries and I want things done yesterday!
hold on....letting adults paddle my kid?
nm
Leave the lying, cheatin dirtbag.
Maybe, if agency lying, you can get any fees back
x
I am not letting my young teen marry an old man.
x
It's lying in the absolute literal sense, but so what.
I think it's part of the fun of Christmas. I wasn't traumatized by thinking Santa was real when I was small. And my children, who are now 18 and 20, seem to be well adjusted, too. I also don't think that lying to your children is the worst thing you can do as a parent. The "controlled dissemination of information" can be a good thing. My kids don't need to know what I did when I was a wild child, for example. And on occasion I've told them there were no more Little Debbies in the house, even though I had a personal stash hidden away. LOL!
As far as Santa goes, I loved it. The way I explained it to my children when they got older and stopped believing was that when we're very little, Santa is a noun. He's a jolly old man who brings us gives, a very concrete thing. When we're older, Santa becomes a verb that means "to give". When my oldest became aware of the Santa reality, he wanted to "Santa for my little brother", and kept the fantasy alive for him. Now they do that for others. I consider that a reality.
The arguments regarding the honesty of the Santa fantasy will go on and on. In the end, it's a personal family decision to participate or not, and I think we can all be respectful of other family's decisions by not divulging the truth within earshot of children who believe, and not arguing over the issue with parents who believe otherwise.
whichever one is lying will be the one to resist the meeting nm
x
Doesn't sound like he's lying, just sounds like you have different wants.
You're comfy in your life as it is. It's one thing to gain love again, it's a whole different story to gain love along with a roommate and all that comes with that, including losing some sense of freedom and space.
I agree with letting him go...if there are no children involved (sm)
and you are still young, get out now while you can. Don't wait like I did. I was married to someone very similar for 15 years and finally separated, but now I am older and I have two children who rely on me. I would much rather have left him early on, found someone new, and have children with a stable home.
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
OMG you are living my life!!!! (Mine is lying behind me as I type this!)nm
x
As the saying goes - "Let lying dogs sleep" - no DNA is not in order
What on God's good earth would that accomplish? So that some sick tabloid could then publish a story about this? Those kids know MJ as their father. I don't care whether someone thinks they don't or do look like him. I have a brother in law who looks nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing - facial features, hair color, skin color, or anything, like anyone in his family or even any ancestors in his family. When husband and his sibling are together they all act alike and they all have the same smile, two of them have the same eyes, 3 of them have the same nose, and the way they say certain things they sound like each other and their parents, but not my BIL, his hair, skin color, the way he laughs, talks, or moves - absolutely nothing like his mother, father or any of his siblings. They joke that he was switched at birth, but from the time he was born he was never out of his mother's site in the hospital.
I think most of America does not need to know whether or not the children are really his. For someone to come out and say "I think a DNA is on order", the family should tell that media clown - it is none of your business, leave Michael Jackson's kids alone. They are going through enough as it is. I hope MJ's family tells them no. And I think Debbie Rowe should keep her trap shut.
No, but I hate my lying, stealing, sociopathic brother. Does that count? NM
z
Someone putting that many demands on a gift is taking advantage of you, and you are letting them. nm
x
What!!!! No Santa?
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
No Santa Claus?Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!
Santa
You don't give any details about this came about. Did someone in the class ask the teacher if Santa Claus was real? If so, she/he would not want to lie to the class, since that would undermine their trust in her/him.
If you have a third grader who still believes in Santa, you must have wrapped them in bubble wrap for the past 2 years. It is a very rare child who believes beyond Kindergarten or First Grade - usually their older siblings or the neighor kid tells them "the truth."
BTW, I think the "truth" about Santa is that he is real - he's a symbol of the Christmas Spirit and that survives despite all the cynicism, hatred, intolerance and fear in the world.
santa
I must admit even before my brother and sister told me at age 8 I was beginning to have doubts and I did not want to say anything because I thought I would not get a lot of gifts but it was still fun believing there was the possibilty also that there could be a santa! Someone breaks your heart sooner or later.
Bad Santa...
"I saw you at another mall. Well, I'm happy for you. If you really are Santa, you could do magic. Wanna see some magic? OK, let's watch you disappear!"
You don't believe in Santa?
Santa is the "spirit" of Christmas. I can't imagine not believe there is a Santa Clause, and I'm 37. Oh my goodness, honey, you're won't get anything for Christmas if you don't believe in Santa.... 
Santa
My DD is going on 10 and DS is 6. They believe in Santa. My daughter has questioned and I explained it this way - There was a real Santa, and that whole story and that he brings the presents to those that "believe", but the second you say out loud "into the air" that you don't believe , we (meaning mom and dad) have to start bringing the presents...and I can't afford that...:)
So she still believes but we also get gifts from "Mom and Dad" so there are also things under the tree from us as well as Santa (who by the way does not wrap, but that's another discussion altogether!)
By the way, in our house Santa, the tooth fairy, Jesus, and God all know each other and communicate with each other, as in God sees everything and knows if you are "being bad" and let's Santa know, etc...They are not to keen on the whole Easter Bunny thing though...
Santa and EB and TF
I have a friend who promised she would never lie to her kids, and so she was honest from the start about Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but also explained to them that alot of their friends believe in them, so asked her kids not to ruin it for them.
In our house, our kids believe in the "idea" of Santa and the Easter Bunny but were confused about why we would see so many Santas in every store. I told them that Santa could not physically be in every place at once, so we all have Christmas Spirit, which we use in different ways to help Santa. So some of us dress up like Santa, some of us deliver presents to needy kids, that kind of thing. At 5 and 6, they really seemed to grasp that and understand.
Believing in Santa
I'm not sure how old I was, but my 12 year old realized ther was no Santa when she was 10. I'm not sure how she actually found out, but I know a year before that she noticed the same wrapping paper that Santa used that I also used (I forgot and wrapped the gifts the same). She also said she knew no one could bring toys to everyone in the world in one night (too smart for her own good). I think most children find out through other older childen either in school or in the neighborhood. It didn't seem to effect her at all. I told her that if she ever tells her 3 year old sister before she can figure it out for herself (hopefully she'll be 10), that I won't buy her any more presents. LOL.
Dear Santa....
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning , or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.
Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MOM...!
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my reques ts if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
AMEN to that
Dear Santa:
Dear Santa:
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.
I want to slap Martha Stewart. Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living. We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.
OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego. We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave." The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either." Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa! That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker? In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher that qualifies as "put away" in my house! Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue. She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends." Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright and Maya Angelou, no doubt). The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge. A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast. This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off. If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really.
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