Let me guess, the 15 yo says, "It's not fair!"
Posted By: sm on 2007-08-25
In Reply to: Vote please on clothes buying scenario for kids...sm - Inquiring mom
I can hear it now, because I have three teenagers and I've been working with teens for years. I wish I had a nickel for every time I've heard a drawn out exclamation, "It's not faaaiiiirrr."
My opinion: The 15 yo doesn't need more clothes, the 8 yo does need the long sleeved shirts. Therefore, it IS fair to spend money on one and not the other. It wouldn't be fair if the older child received something he/she does not need simply because needed items are being bought for the younger child.
Kids are very poor judges of fairness when it comes to getting "stuff" that they want. They have a hard time discerning between what they want and what they need, and a good many of them have no real appreciation for how much effort parents put into earning money and providing for their children. The kids just want, want, and want.
You are the parent, you are the judge and jury when it comes to decided what they need and what your budget can handle. Here's an opportunity to really teach fairness.
And if the kid continues to whine about it, turn your back and walk away. It takes two to argue. Give your reasons for your decision ONCE and walk away. Don't be manipulated, or your child will learn to be a manipulator.
Now, if the 15 year old wants to go and earn money OUTSIDE of the house, or do some out-of-the-ordinary chore that you are willing to pay for, say clean the garage. That's another good lesson. Work, earn, achieve. But I don't pay out cash for regular everyday stuff that has to be done simply because we all live together. When you do that, then it's hard to get them to do regular chores if a child doesn't need money.
Hey, invite me to give an opinion, and that's just what I do!
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haha! I think you hit it right now b/c "It's just money!" is my
husband's fav. term! haha
"It's A Small World After All" --
Ever gone to Disneyland and stood in the long line outside of the Small World ride? They play the song about 4 million times, and that's before you ever even get in there and get into the car, or boat, or whatever it is. By the time you're halfway through the ride, you'll feel ready to jump out and run screaming for the exit. Not to mention having the rest of your day at Disneyland tainted by that song running through your head hour after hour.
So then, at the end of the day you attend the Main Street Electrical Parade, and the theme song for that one is even more insidious and intrusive on your brain than Small World!
Still worse is the fact that it's written to run in counterpoint with "It's a Small World", "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah", and just about every other well-known Disney song. So NOW your poor brain has multiple, unstoppable songs bouncing around the inside of your skull, possibly for DAYS.
Yes, those songs are EVIL -- probably some form of "Disney Mind Control"..........
"It's the thought that counts" - sm
Anyone who thinks enough of you to give you anything at all, deserves a heart-felt 'thank you'. All it means in the end is that they gave you something to let you know you mean something to them.
When I was a kid, a girl I knew had about 30 friends she wanted to give a holiday card to, and only had 15 cards. And no money to buy more.
So, she tore each card in half, and gave each half to all 30 of her friends. Sure, you got a printed message that either said,
'Merry Chr-
an-
Happy Ne-',
or else you got one that said,
'-istmas
-d a
-w Year'.
But each half had a personal, handwritten holiday message to the recipient on it, and we all treasured our half-cards as much as if they'd been whole, because of the person that gave them to us.
So, it really is the though that counts!
As you said in post "it just boils down to lack of disipline
sd
Fair enough...
I was just wondering. Have a great day. 
Seems fair to me.
I'll perform it if no MD will.
maybe not fair
I think the problem comes from Christians being so sure we are right, we want to try to save the non believers. . . maybe we should just let everyone worry about themselves. . . it is a difficult subject. . I'm sure non believers are just as sure they are right. .
And I thank you for being fair.
x
Fair is fair, I mean.
Be fair sm
I learned in journalism class that a reporter must be fair. So would you say the same for Pepsi?
Just kidding - will have to look further into this. Water is very good for you. Don't get enough of it myself, although I do like a lot of tea, so I guess that makes up for the water consumption per day. Now if I could only drink the tea without sugar - that would be healthy. Try honey but kind of messy, usually give up on it, always in a hurry.
Fair enough...
There are reduced rates for low income families and other programs to feed the needy kids. If parents want their kids to eat, they should pay for it.
Is this fair or right?
On another board I frequent there is a discussion going on and I'd love to hear your take on it. It's about a possible law to have welfare recipients take urine tests (for drugs use) in order to receive payments.
You like? You hate? Why?
I am so sorry. It's just not fair! nm
x
Love the NYS Fair
I live about 15 minutes away and we go every year. This year we're going to the AI concert. It's an annual tradition for us since a few days after the fair ends school starts.
Going to the fair and also going fishing.
p
It's not really a fair comparison - that may be what she said to you (sm)
but although it may not be true about you it doesn't mean it isn't true about her. I am sorry she said that to you and I would never say any of that to my MIL or about her other than on here on an anonymous board. But thanks for your opinion.
OK, to be fair. I know if you adopt one SM
you must keep it in the house. That's one of the rules for adoption.
When thinking about it (I'm talking about racing dogs now), they are trained to run after a rabbit(?), so, yes, they probably MIGHT run after creatures, should get out.
It's just the thought of those poor dogs put to death because they are of no use to their owners, is horrifying to me.
No, I'm not a member of PETA. LOL!
That is not a fair resonse. I do all the ....sm
things a responsible owner should do. I keep my dog either in my house or in a fenced in yard. I have him vaccinated as I should. He is fed, bathed, and treated as he should be. I do everything I am supposed to. How can I not be a responsible owner? Just because of his breed. I don't think so. My dog has never been used to fight and will never be used to fight. If you don't own one and raise them properly you will never know the potential they have to be a loving dog. Personally a lot of people don't even know mine is a pit bull. He is either mistaken for a boxer lots of times or an american bulldog. Sometimes I am tempted to not correct them.
fair warning!!!! :)
The Wii is a blast! We bought one last year. Last week I bought Dance Dance Revolution 2 for it. It is extremely hard even on beginner! It will literally wear you out and if you are as out of shape as I am, plan on being very sore! LOL I really do like the Wii and plan on getting the fit later this summer. For us, it's something the entire family loves, except the b/f refuses to do the Dance Dance Revolution. LOL
Congrats on your quitting smoking! We are starting that as well. My b/f just started the Nicoderm patch. If he doesn't have too many side effects from it and it seems to work okay, I'm going to start it in a few weeks. I'm currently just cutting back right now. Cigarettes are getting so darn expensive. Marlboro are over $5 a pack and the fed tax increase of $0.62 starts April 1st. Illinois is trying to pass $1 tax on top of that. Pretty soon it's gonna be $7 for a pack of cigarettes. We've had enough.
Sorry to ramble! :)
Good luck to everyone quitting!
Doesn't seem fair.
I have 2 with balances on them. However, I have not used them in a while and have been paying at least minimum and more when I can on time. I don't know what we are going to do. Our mortgage or car payments are all paid up so we dont' have to worry about that but if this happens we may have to put a lein on our house and vehicles. Which brings me to another OMG. I don't know if our vehicles are going to be worth anything since now they are really pushing Hybrids. I don't know if they are going to make it a law or not, but if they do, it is another scary thing. How are we going to afford car payments. How is my mom, my MIL and my dad going to afford car payments like that when they only bring in $800 to$900 a month on their SS if even that.
I do have a bicycle, which i do plan on ridding more often but dang it hurts my legs and my tail to ride it.
ITs not fair, but it does negatively sm
affect your credit rating. Idon't get it. But if you listen to Suze Orman that is one of her big things she is always saying, don't close your accounts!
Fair enough! You mind your own uterus...
but if you don't mind it well and find yourself pregnant, you should have to pay for yoru abortion yourself. The government (and my tax dollars) should NOT fund abortion. I disagree with the procedure on moral grounds, so why should I fund it if you (or someone else) can't, as you put it, take care of their uterus?? Tell you what! You stay OUT of MY pocket and I will stay OUT of YOUR uterus!! Howzat??
That is an extremely fair pay and I would expect
them to do a great job for that. I have had the same problem with them starting out good and then having to go behind them like you said. I would first start out clearly stating what you want done and that you expect a good job consistently, even 6 months down the line. That is what I've been telling everyone I've talked to is that I need a consistent job each time.
Thanks for the info! Sounds fair to me. (nm)
New York State Fair
My husband and I went once twenty one years ago, before we were married, and then just last year finally took our nearly-grown kids after getting tickets to see James Taylor there. We had a ball and plan to do it again this year - every year at Labor Day. It's about a 2-1/2 hour drive for us, and well worth the effort, though I think we're going to get a hotel room instead of making it all in one day this time.
Is it fair to attack her parenting?
I thought Christians weren't supposed to judge. Is it because she *let* her daughter make her own decision to become atheist? I can't stand hypocrisy. It's what starts wars.
Okay, this probably wasn't really fair - hint
Most people have never even heard of this movie so I will give you a hint.
Richard Lewis plays a less than confident surgeon.
"I was a field surgeon during the war. We'd work long hours. We'd eat while we operated. One time, there's this young soldier I was trying to save, he took a cannonball in the stomach. After 18 hours of surgery, I did it. Never felt better in my life. Until, just like that, the patient dies. Turns out I left half a bologna sandwich in his lung."
I certainly do my fair share of lying
but i can't say that i've ever really made up anything huge but nobody has ever really called me on it either. Maybe those I lie to are either just gullible or too nice to say anything about it or maybe not good at spotting a lie. I don't know, but I do know I lie a lot. Maybe it's because of my low self-esteem, and maybe that's why people don't really call me on it, because they pity me too much.
Absolutely fair, otherwise the money might
be spent for their habir.
fair living wages
What do you feel is a FAIR and REASONABLE rate to pay an employee medical transcriptionist?
For point of reference, yesterday I did some basic calculations.
In 1987, I was hired as a TOTALLY GREEN NEWBIE at 4 cpl. In 1988-1989 sometime, I got a raise to 4.4 cpl. My "guarantee rate" for 90 days after hiring was $7/hour. The minimum wage at the time was $3.35 I think. ($4-something maybe?) So my "guarantee rate" was approximately double the minimum wage. At 4 cpl, I needed to be typing 175 lph as a brand new fresh newbie! And amazingly enough, I only used my "guarantee rate" during my first pay period - every pay period after that, I was paid at my lph rate, not my guarantee rate! This was on an Selectric TYPEWRITER, not a computer!
Nowadays, MQ has a standard "guarantee rate" for 30 days instead of 90, and it's $10/hour. Their minimum line production is 100 lph, or 150 lph for full-benefit full-time employees.
I would like to discuss the following questions on a new forum: http://mtfallenstars.proboards.com/index.cgi Please join me there!
What has changed in our industry? Why has the line-per-hour rate gone down instead of up? Why is the guarantee rate now less than double minimum wage? Why do seasoned experts in the field consider it a good day to make $15/hour while newbies struggle to stay off food stamps?
1 vote per phone number would be fair...sm
that way they'd really know what people think and not who has the fanciest speed dial modems that casts hundreds of votes per phone line.
*time wasting* ?? Not fair statement
my company offered me 10 yearly, is that low/fair?
Thanks in advance...it is probably low but I will still take it. Was just hoping someone else would share their info
I'd have a lot more energy and inclination to consider that if I got 7 days of fair help with hou
y
Voting is more fair on the dancing show. You have a
nm
Fair question. I have made choices in my life that sm
afford me to stay at home and work. When I say refuse, yes, I refuse to put my children in childcare because I can do so. I can choose to take them to a daycare provider, but i want to be their sole providers and protector always. I can do that. It is a luxury.
Now, do I look down upon moms and dads who use childcare? Absolutely not. My heart breaks for those moms who want to be at home with their children but for unforeseen circumstances they just can't. I understand that if I was in another situation where I couldn't work from home then they would be somewhere else, but then if that was the way it was I would not have had kids. My kids are 5 and 2. I've been doing MT for 9 years from home. So, you can do the math there.
Do you attend a local state fair in the summer? How far
s
The fair thing would be to share it and split the prize - sm
good karma and all that. I try to do that though, I have had more bad than good lately. I am expecting a refund of an overcharge today in my account, bank informed me yesterday that the store (7-11) appeared to be refunding in full all four purchases I made on a particular day ( I am disputing 3 charges and only 1 of them partially as I did owe some of the money). If they do refund all I will end up with an extra $120. So if that ends up being the case I will do something with half of that to benefit someone else whether it be a school fundraiser, the local Goodwill, a charity I like to donate to, etc. I try to balance it all out, plus it is nice to be able to help others when you can.
It's anybody's guess
I hope it's Sanjaya, but three people forgot the words to their songs. My guess is maybe Brandon (one who forgot the words). With the exception of Lahisha, Melinda and Blake, I am not impressed with this years singers at all. It's one of the worst seasons for me.
Just old, I guess :(
x
I guess
...that's why I gave up on Christianity. Jesus' message was beautiful and loving for the most part, but the religion has become inundated with intolerance and condemnation and even damnation. Religion world-wide is too much of a trigger for war and violence and I'm not sure how it got twisted into its present form(s). Well, let me take that back -- it seems as long as there has been religion humans have been fighting and killing each other over it, which is a sad advertisement for a particular religion, unfortunately.
To quote from a favorite folksong, I'm willing to "let the mystery be."
no, actually, i guess i don't. (nm)
x
Well, I have 8, so I guess not . . .
and, if I had it to do over again, I would do exactly the same! My youngest will be two in June, and my oldest has two of his own. Yes, we have quite an age spread there. Our 2-year-old is the joy of our lives. One little laugh or even a smile from him, and everything else seems to pale in importance. He's a great little de-stressor.
As I have always told my children, "Friends come and go, but familes are forever."
I guess it's not who you know, but who you ?
not funny
Hey, guess what???
Still havent called… I asked if anyone else had done this. I don’t live in terror that I will fall over, have my own blood pressure cuff. I can ask if others have done this without showing up at the emergency room....
Guess you were never a kid?
As long as she's smart, then she should be able to stay out. Now if she's going to be all night, she should have the courtesy to let her mother know. I've been in that situation where I had to pay rent to my parents once I was that age. They didn't have a curfew for me, but I was considerate enough to let them know when I'd be out all night or staying with a friend. According to tradition, the female child does not move out until she's courted and then gets married? I think the OP should cut the girl a break and let her make some decisions on her own.
Are they all like that? I guess that's what I really want to know
x
LOL - I guess they run out often!!
I guess it should go to you, then, b/c you know what
Ahhh, the arrogance. You should be careful! lol
You said yourself so I guess sex at 16 ok
your daughter was 17 and this relationship going on over a year. Sorta sounds like 16 to me but hey, if you are alright with letting your daughter live like that, oh well.
Sorry, I guess this has already
been posted. I got it as an email from someone.....It is really cute for Christmas...
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