Kind of cheating
Posted By: Horski on 2008-11-21
In Reply to: Screen names...how did you come up with yours? - Sara
At work our user names are the first four letters of our last name and the first two of our first name. Mine came out Horski which I kind of liked and on the boards, no one knows my gender right away too. I'm female by the way! You trying to pick something?
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Thanks everyone.....No he is not cheating
Last time he said he was "in love" with someone else, but she had her own family and stayed comitted to it, and he came back to me and has had nothing to do with her since. There is no one else this time, I am sure of that. I am almost willing to pretend that conversation never took place and if he is willing to stay with me for the kids, then that should be enough. But I don't want him unhappy, I still love him, and I suppose I deserve to be with someone I love too, but my kids and their happiness come first and foremost, before mine. I could be happy with him as long as he was content. I don't want him to stay though if he is just going to be an angry, unhappy person. I have thought of marriage counselling, he might be willing to try it. I am willing to try anything at this point.
Those cheating men
Over the last couple of weeks and especially in the last week 2 different families that have been much in the news, 1 family on a TV program and another family in government. Both husbands have been seen, caught, accused of having a child outside his marriage, another husband supposedly was going with a young teacher. Both of these men's spouses have taken their husband's sides, defending them, maybe even looking inward and seeing if possibly something the woman did was wrong. How would you react if your husband or significant other. Would you defend, get mad, get even or what?
Cheating men
Dateline tonight had a VERY interesting show on regarding this subject and people said as well it could be genetic - hmmmmm
Actually when my dad was cheating on my mom...sm
He has always left his cell phone laying around when home. Then she noticed he started keeping it in his pocket at all times. He even took it to the bathroom to get a shower. Or she actually found it hidden under a pile of dirty clothes one time when he was in the shower. He didn't want her to pick it up and see the calls on there.
What makes you think he's cheating on you?
p
Cheating spouses
I look at it this way, when you cheat on your spouse in the eyes of the Lord your marriage is dissolved anyhow. If my spouse ever cheated on me, I would definitely not stick it out for companionship or otherwise. It would just not be worth it to me because there would be massive trust issues from that point on. Just not worth it. For goodness sake, I would buy a dog before I would stay in a loveless marriage always wondering if my spouse was getting ready to cheat again!
Cheating Spouse?
Have you ever caught your spouse cheating? If so, how did you catch him/her?
cheating spouse
I worked day shift and he worked 3-11 so for a few years we would hardly see each other at all. First, let me say that my husband is kind of messy. I would notice that when I came home from work, my home was in the same order that I left it in the morning. Even the curtains had not been opened yet. There were no dirty dishes. There was no sign anybody had been home all day. I would ask and he would always have an excuse..went to play golf before work, went to a ball game, had lunch with the guys, etc.
Then a woman started calling the house in the evening asking for my husband. I would say he was at work, ask if I could take a message and she would say no and hang up. She would call about 3 to 4 evenings a week. I asked my husband who she was and he would say he didn't know.
Then, HER husband called and left a message on our machine one day while we were out. He didn't say any names, just said stay away from my wife or I'm going to come over and beat your a$$. I asked who was that and my husband said he didn't know.
This all happened over about 4 months when he was offered a transfer with work out of state and we took it. He never admitted having an affair but I know he did. That was 16 years ago. We are still together and before everyone flames me, I will tell you that the man has paid dearly for that little fling. We've never discussed it because how can you discuss something he won't admit to? He didn't leave the house for years without taking 1 or all the kids with him, even to the grocery store or the post office. He never got to do anything he wanted to do, no more boys night out, no more golf weekends, etc. It got to the point where I was feeling sorry for him but he never said a word.
Now that we're in our 50s, I wish someone would take him so he'd leave me alone!
hubby cheating
I had a friend years ago who hid in the back of her hub's camper-cover pickup when she suspected he was going to see the other woman one night. He had a little *bed* in truck. She caught them and filed for divorce, later remarried and happy as a lark for 30 years now.
So corporate cheating is fine
You said - However, it does NOT justify lying, cheating, stealing insurance dollars and benefits just because you don't like it.
What do you call it when someone pays their premiums for years, they are told they are covered, then the insurance company decides they don't have to pay? Sounds like what you just described above. But it happens every day, and its supposedly OK, because its business, I used to do medical billing, outrageous how many claims were denied because the ordering physician didn't do a precert, the insurance company decided it was unneccessary, or some other little loophole. The providers didn't get paid, the patient ended up in collections,,,and IMO the patient was lied to, stolen from, and cheated out of his insurance dollars and benefits.
BTW, I do make my own money. I'm just not too pleased at handing large chunks of it to an insurance company, knowing they will diligently seek reasons to deny a claim, even if I play by all their ever changing rules and memorize my policy. And that includes the entire insurance industry, be it medical, LTD, life, auto, or homeowners insurance.
Cheating spouse/boyfriend, etc.
Many years ago I was married to a cheating spouse. I was pregnant with our second child when he took it upon himself to cheat with an underage girl in the back of our brand new station wagon. Well, I learned about this when a paternity suit came up with his name on it. Apparently he was so dumb that he did not know the girl had a boyfriend and being the sucker that he was he did not know that they would pin the paternity on him, and get money from him. Too bad it wasn't in this day and time because he would have been in jail because she was only 17, and he was in his 30s. This was only 1 in a string of women that I found out after the fact, and even contracted an STD when I was pregnant!! I also suffered spousal abuse, and have the scars to prove it. After 5 years of this I got out,and the only reason I stayed was for the children, but that was a huge mistake on my part. Now, whenever, I hear or see this on a program it makes me furious that these men think this behavior is okay. It is never okay and leaves many people, including children, to suffer much heartache.
Good for Kate! Who needs a cheating man.
x
I understand the problem with cheating by using phones
and my children do carry the cells to school but keep them turned off and in their locker....which kinda defeats the purpose of being able to call in an emergency but I do know the problem it can become. The kids are also not supposed to have them on field trips that are just for the day (they are allowed to take them on overnight trips). Well, my son was on a high school field trip to VA Tech on Apr. 16. If hadn't had a teacher that allowed them (just don't abuse them) we would not have known for hours that he was okay. I went to the middle school that very afternoon and spoke to the principal about my DD taking her phone on a field trip and the principal said that it would be okay. That's good, cuz she was taking it no matter what.
If I knew there was a history of cheating on former wives,
then my opinion would be different. I think that once cheating occurs, it is more likely to be repeated in future relationships. Not saying that this is your case, but it would worry me.
My rant: I agree cheating on one's spouse is never SM
acceptable. The one thing that REALLY bothers me, is that men claim that they have to cheat, since sex with their wives is no longer exciting and that their wife won't do what paid companions will and my thought is always the same "Did you ASK her?". If they ask nicely, I'm sure loving wives would be more than willing to comply. Within reason, of course.
How far would you go (or would you) to find out if your husband/lover was cheating?
I am married now and never even think of his cheating or even worry about it, just do not have a feeling like that but in the past married to a real dog. I then checked his pockets, his shirt collars (for lipstick, makeup), phone calls and on and on. How far would you go and what have you found?
The drinkin kind or the rubbin kind?? sm
So....is that for me to drink so I don't notice or care that my hands are all splotchy black or to get the ink off?  Seriously though, do I use the rubbing alcohol - or like Jack Daniels?? and do I soak in it or what? I never heard of using alcohol but I'll try anything.
Strange question. I punched my ex when I found out what a cheating SOB he was. SM
I personally haven't been punched in the face since I was 20ish and I'd like to keep it that way. 
I feel that is best too. I have been kind, very kind, to this ...sm
child since he moved here in March. I also am not one of those parent's that thinks my children are perfect. You never know what they might do out of your presence. I do know how I have raised them though and I am all for getting them all together when there is a problem and getting to the bottom of it but anymore that doesn't seem to work. The parents automatically get defensive and start making excuses, etc. I'm going to look for somewhere else to move. I've lived here for 2-1/2 years and we never had a problem until this boy moved in. His mother is a piece of work.
Are those the red kind of
licorce? Have not tried those yet. Wonder if they would be good with, say a few olives on the side?
and that's being kind actually....sm
I could think of dozens of adjectives that are *stronger* than smarmy but probably not permitted to be typed at this website...
GMTA = great minds think alike, eh? 
what kind of dog is it?
x
I would not want to pay for that kind
of therapy. If the therapist cannot stay neutral and professional...I just would not be comfortable either. If my friends and family cannot be my therapist, why would I want my therapist to act like a friend? Good luck in whatever you do.
At least you got a thank you of some kind. sm
There have been a couple times when I haven't even received a thank you note for a wedding gift.
Actually, I think it was just one time, because the other time I finally got the thank you note (lovely, hand written), but it was a *year* later! (And I thought I procrastinated... LOL)
That's kind of what
I figured, but wasn't sure. Are you talking about like the Solarcaine green gel with lidocaine? That's what I put on it, but he will barely even let me do that. I put sunscreen on them on and off all day, but guess not enough! I guess I underestimated that hot Galveston sun! Thanks for the advice.
What kind of look are you going for?
Classic? Country? Rustic? Modern?
Butcher-block (or lookalike) would work for country or rustic. Stainless steel would work for modern. Tile or slate could work for most styles, depending on the design.
I have a Corian-type solid surface countertop which I like. It does scratch fairly easily, but the scratches are easily buffed out with polish unless they are really deep.
Well, I think they are trying to do some kind of (sm)
public service or something, probably about reporting it. Brooke was on at the very end making a little speech, but I actually didn't hear it.
YAY!!! What kind did you get? (sm)
I've been using one for years, but I'm working 2 jobs now and to break the monotony, I use 2 different computers in different rooms. I 'commute' with my ergo keyboard because the one downstairs has a regular keyboard. So, I'm thinking about getting a new one. The one I'm using now is a Microsoft, but I think the model is extinct, so I'm looking for recommendations.
You're not a dork. I know how you feel. It was like... How the heck did I ever type on a regular keyboard!!?? With our job, ergonomics and comfort is everything. Congrats and have fun LOL ;-)
No and if I did that, she is the kind that
would be highly insulted, get her nose out of place. I have honest to goodness kept my mouth shut when I wanted time after time to say something- I love her but I don’t like her. Does any other mother understand this? I have walked on egg shells not saying things. Not an open communication ever with her- she is much into her friends though.
You are too kind!
 20 years ago I would have flew off the handle to have something like this, but now I know it is in His hands, not mine! Thanks for the encouragement.
Me too. I can't think of what kind of job I can do
that isn't MT...I've been doing this for so long. I can write well, and am a heckuva ghostwriter (have done blogs and resume cover letters for friends) but can't figure out where the money is in that. Sigh.
Good luck to everyone.
You all have been so kind
Thank you all so much. Words just cannot express my gratitude for the way you've extended your hearts to a virtual stranger. You're all amazing.
Romey, your post was very nice. I couldn't read it the first time I tried. I had to walk away and come back and read it later.
It is getting easier with time.
Kind of
Usually every year my husband's family gathers here in Central Florida at the beach. However, during the hurricane season of 2004, the condo that my uncle owned timeshare in got damaged to the point of being condemned. So now that we have to actually PAY for a condo, this year we have decided to head up to the panhandle which is halfway between the FL family and the AL family and in the same town as one of the aunts, namely due to gas prices and Lord their drive used to be 10 hours, no fun with kids.
As for us, we will be heading up there which we don't usually do. However, both myself and my husband work from home so we might put gas in each vehicle once a month? We also own a boat which we put gas in but this year we're telling friends who want to come out and go wakeboarding that they're going to have to chip in for gas. As an FYI, boat takes 87 and not great gas mileage. I drive a truck that takes the cheap stuff but gets 19 mpg and less while towing the boat. Husband drives a sportscar that takes 93 BUT gets like 25-28 mpg, to say the least we will be driving his car to the panhandle in May!
what kind of dog is it?
x
You are both so kind, and you are right
on the mark. Yes, the credit cards are his. He lived off credit cards for several years to support himself and his kids after he and his wife split up. His wife never paid child support and he paid for daycare and everything, so had to pay for extras outside of his salary on credit. Then when I came along I was doing real well as a hospital MT, but had to quit because I was here and he needed me to watch the kids. He did not understand I had a shift like a regular job. So, after several months of my back and forth work and being with the kids, the boss gave me an ultimatum daycare for the kids or I leave my job. I told my DH that my income which was very good at the time was important to me as I have supported myself my whole life including being a single mom. But he would not budge. So, I quit. It has been 3 years and most of our marriage my trying to balance kids (I love them don't get me wrong) and work. I finally become a SE, and I am giving him direct deposit on my paycheck with me taking a small percentage out for things for my son. But, since the money is now coming in he is putting it to the credit cards. Anyway, I stopped eating mostly because I got disgusted. He is always having sandwiches and chowing down in front of me. His boy who is a big eater is asking for 3 or 4 snacks a day. My son asks for snacks there's nothing left and he said to me:" Next time you get money mommy, GO FOOD SHOPPING." He said that right in front of DH. But, I just know when I do that the gorging goes on. I explained to DH about telling his son about gluttony, but he laughs at me. So, when I see him and his son eat this way, I get grossed out and am not hungry at all. I am sorry to say all this here. I actually just came back from the doc who gives me nerve pills because of my situation and he says I am doing really well coping with the situation. Which he knows what is going on. He is sending me to see a good counselor who he says," will validate me and give me support and confidence." Last time I went to see a counselor she told me to leave. But, my son loves his step sister and brother and so I want to stay. Well, sorry for the soap opera. I think when I start making more money I will get food and tires for my car, etc. but I will hide some food and snacks and siphon it into the general population here. That way they don't get snorted up by certain people. LOL. (And yes, I am putting an emergency fund away. But this is why I wish there was more transcription out there!) Thanks for your kind words and support. Between you and the doc today, it makes me feel I am not alone! :)
I kind of like this.
![](http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:vnIUDcPN5K6MHM:http://www.lvpcchurch.org/lvpc/files/u1/cross1_1_.jpg")
I have tried nearly every kind
of mascara known to woman. My favorite BY FAR is the Loreal Voluminous waterproof. It's so silky, non-clumping, etc. Just perfect. So I guess now it's time for them to discontinue it - LOL! That's what happened after I found my perfect foundation -- Maybelline's Wonder Finish.
Yup, have 2 teens and it is kind....
of interesting as one does not have "all the time in the world for that anymore." We have got to get when we can. But also he works nights and obviously sleeps some during the day. Maybe that is what has kept the fire going all these years. LOL
With that kind of money,
she could have easily afforded to pay you back without filing on the insurance. She should have offered to have paid you half back at least. I think that would have settled it.
Don't take your parents not choosing sides personally. They are probably trying to not make the situation worse than it already is. They are probably hoping you two will work this out somehow. Them getting involved will only make it worse.
Besides everything she has done, losing your family is just not worth it. I hope that you can find a way to work this out. My brother passed away and my sister is missing. I would give ANYTHING to have them back.
you are very kind; thanks for your time.
x
What kind of shakes do you use?
Some of them are just nasty ... any tips on ones that taste halfway decent?
What kind of programs?
Sorry to hear you are in the same boat. It's funny because until you feel or have felt that way, it's hard to relate. I truly feel that I have tried everything in my power. Now he wants me to try again and I just don't think I can change the way I feel. We recently went to a Christian marriage counsellor that his mother wanted us to go to and he kept telling me that it is my choice how I feel toward my husband. It isn't. It's like a response to something bad for you I think. Your body tells you to spit out bitter things because they could be poison. Well....I think maybe it's the same type of response! Like, no this isn't good for you, get away from it!
What kind of biopsy
What kind of biopsy did you have and when did you have it? Out here (Virginia) I had a stereotactic biopsy on a Wednesday morning and the results at noon the next day. At the breast clinic here everyone comes in for the results. I liked knowing the very next day, regardless of the outcome. You know - the percentages are actually in your favor ... all the research I've done indicates 80% of biopsies are benign. I had one 4 years ago that was benign. Please let me know how you're doing. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
what kind of vitamins do you take? sm
i had been bying vitamins from wal-mart. then i went to GNC and talk the gal that works there and she recommended GNC brand ultra gold which i do take when i think about it. but their vitamins are so big, they almost gag me, even the smell gags me. supposed to take two a day. they are loaded with stuff. just wondered what ya'll take.
ps: can't tell a difference in my energy level when i take GNC vitamins.
It's not your normal kind of tea..sm
and one cup, I don't think, will make one P three to four times during the night, but whatever works for you.
That's kind of on the high end where I am at. Do
you live in an area with a higher cost of living?
That's awesome you've found someone you are happy with though. I'm still searching! :)
And I don't mean the Geiko kind either.
s
Oh my! What kind of *drugs*?
Interesting story.
what kind of camera?
.
She kind of reminds me of
That african/american girl on New Adventures of Old Christine only heavier. I thought it was her at first. I bet if you look up on Soap City you'll find out.
I wonder what kind of a home
these girls came from. Perhaps they saw abuse or were abused themselves and have become immune to suffering. I do not condone what they did, but they did not grow up in a vacuum. It would be interesting to know their family background/upbringing.
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