Kids and money for school things...sm
Posted By: Moneyless mom on 2008-01-30
In Reply to:
Here is it is.... January 30th and since January 1st I've been asked by my 16-year-old for:
$90 for a graphing calculator for the calculus class
$85 for school yearbook (and price goes up 2/1 by $15..she didn't tell me any of this until now)
$30 for hoodie for yearbook club
$15 for drama t-shirt for spring production... which she has exactly 2 lines in and will not be on the stage any other time.
Total: $220.
I bought the calculator as it was necessary and I know she'll use it again in college. I've offered to pay half of the yearbook if she'll raise the other half. For the shirts I've told her to raise the money herself. The drama team is also looking to possibly go to New York for a few days to take in shows in May and gosh only knows what that would cost... if it gets approved.
She doesn't work and says if she gets a part-time job then she can't do the drama production as they practice 3 days a week until 8 p.m. .... well hello she has only 2 lines in it and isn't even in any other scenes.
I told her to get a job or start offering to babysit for money. I'm tired of being nickel-and-dimed to death for fru-fru non-essential expenses.... especially since we just spent $700 on car repairs and $250 for surgery on the dog (abscess on foot - she stepped on something at some point and messed herself up) and medical bills are coming in from my husband's numerous medical tests he had in November. I'm not going to pay for her to go to New York either when that would probably take out entire family vacation money for the summer. Once those numbers come in we'll offer to pay a portion of the cost but that's it.
She also insists she wants to go to college out of state, and her dad and I have also told her she has to figure out how to pay for that because we're not going in debt for that when she can get a free education from the lottery in our state by going to a state school. She doesn't do any volunteer work, play sports or have any special talents that would qualify her for scholarships.
I told her that it's time to grow up and realize there is no money tree in our back yard, and I'm not going to bust my butt working extra jobs to buy these things for her.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Sounds like my kids...on a school day "we just got home from school!" on a vacation day....sm
But this is our vacation! My husband takes vacation days and leaves town without us...lol! He would never dream of taking a day off to work around the house!
My kids knew no work , no money
I did not have to beg, plead, cajole, swear, swat or promise the kids anything. They had a room over their head, food to eat, bills paid- I told them from a very early age the necessity of my working. I do not believe you have to give prizes to a child for doing what they should- and that would be leave you alone while at work. Too many things kids can entertain their own self- at (after a certain age, of course) so you do not wind up having to entertain them.
We have had one since August - kids pooled their money - sm
and bought it (we refused to buy it for them); my DH tried to teach his dad pool on Christmas, boy was his dad bad, couldn't even score, when he finally did he scratched. My DH won 36-0. His mom loved the bowling game though and did very well (she bowled in a league years ago and was/is quite good at it). My girls love it and it is getting my one a bit more physical as she moves around more with this than with the Gamecube or her DS lite. They got the dancing game for Christmas and are having a lot of fun with it. They even have Wii's in nursing homes now since it gets the residents up and moving about, a sort of therapy.
'scuse...keep calls short as I feel I must do these things in order to make money. No babies
s
Actually the people with money buy all the nonsense items for their kids
and the others without money are all trying to keep up with the Joneses and of course getting in debt because of it because heaven-forbid their kid doesn't have what everyone else has. How could they ever be seen in public without the gel french manicure nails, cell phone, ipod, blackberry, brand name jeans, etc., etc., etc. What a world we live in where the children now rule! lol Pathetic. The other day I saw a woman and her maybe 15 year old, all highlighted hair and all, at the nail place, and unfortunatley I got stuck in the seat between the two of them. Well the kids nails alone cost her 65.00. lol! But the best was the kid must have not liked something and was mouthing something to her mom, and then the mom was like whispering, what, honey, what is it, what is wrong, do you not like something, honey, do you want a design, tell me, what is wrong? what is it? And I'm in between them, right? I wanted to say please excuse me while I get up to throw up. LOL. It is just amazing to me.
I still think it should be the parents who teach the child these things, not the school's place.
Each child goes to school to learn facts. They learn their social skills, values, etc.at home and from friends that their parents allow them to associate with. The school is a public entity full of many INDIVIDUALS who all have different values and opinions. Teachers should not be teaching children their own personal values and should leave that to the parents.
However, before my kids were in school,
I was a night owl! Worked until like 3 a.m. because didn't have to get up early, but now, they are both in school, so have to get up early and start working before time to get them up and ready and off!
That's what they do at my kids' school sm
Except it's a cheese sandwich & milk, and they are never turned away with no lunch. My daughter is in 5th grade, and her teacher does a collection each year for the pre-K & K students to help out if they don't have money for lunch. This school year they have raised over $400.
OP should get custody of kids if things so bad.
x
My kids - private school sm
I have two teens now, but in their grade school years, they attended private school. It is a financial struggle, but well worth it,in my opinion.
Now, one is a senior and the other a freshman in high school in public school. Both just sail through in all honors and AP courses. This is possible because of the study habits, learning techniques and discipline they received in private school as their foundation.
Not every child will have the same results, but I can't say enough about private schools laying the foundation for success in education.
GOOD LUCK in whatever you decide.
Kids: Do you wake them up or do they get themselves up for school? sm
I've told our 16-year-old now junior in high school that she can set her alarm clock and get herself up in the morning and out the door for school, on time, this year, and if she fails to get up on time and is late for school she will lose privileges with them increasing for each time she is late.
What about your kids? How old are they? Are they responsible for getting themselves up in the morning and if so, at what age did they start doing this?
3 kids, but 2 school aged
1. What ages are your kids? 16yo DS and 18yo DD (and 21yo DS)
2. Do they have their own cell phone? Yes, 16yo has a tracfone and 18 yo DD has a Go phone
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these: No. We have 1 good computer we all 5 used to share, but that is mostly DD's now that DH and I each got lap tops and oldest DS built a desk top for youngest DS for Christmas. Oldest DS also has a lap top that he bought himself. Nobody has a TV in their room, not even the grown ups. No time limits on use at their ages, but they don't spend near as much time on the 'puters as they did when they were younger.
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this? They all have jobs, but the youngest 2 get $5 a week for bringing in wood for the wood stove and burning the trash. Plus youngest DS gets extra here and there for all the help he gives his dad and grandfather on the farms. Their room are their own business at this point. I just put the laundry on the bed and keep the doors closed.
why aren't your kids in school?
No, in the MW our kids go to school to get an acutal
xx
Aspergers/school/kids
Our boys sound a lot alike. My son was first diagnosed with ADHD, then nonverbal learning disorder, then Aspergers, although the school does not see the Aspergers being a true diagnosis. He has always been in mainstream classes as he is academically very smart. We started out with a 504, then went to IEP but he is not in any special ed classes. His testing scores are in the high average and superior range and he is reading at an 11th grade level in the 6th grade. I held off on the IEP for about a year because I was so afraid of the stigma associated with it. No matter how common it is these days, once kids learn someone has an IEP, they're thought of as one of "those" kids and I didn't want him to go through that. He has been on medication after medication and nothing seems to work in the long run. We have tried trials of him off the meds but within 2 or 3 days we're getting phone calls from the school asking if he has taken his meds that morning because he is having such a rough time concentrating and focusing. Not only is he very smart, he is also a remarkable athlete in hockey, baseball, golf and basketball and making the all star sport teams. He's a great kid with a big heart, but he just doesn't seem to fit in with anybody. I feel his main problem is with social skills and I have been asking for him to see the guidance counselor at school on a regular basis which has not been happening. We live in a very rural area and there are only 18 students in his 6th grade class. They have all been together for the last 6 years and know one another quite well, and by this time the "class order" so to speak is set. There are two boys who seem to be the tough guys and the leaders that everyone follows. Unfortunately, my son is on the bottom of the order and is singled out constantly because of his quirkiness. They will do everything they can to get a rise out of him and think its funny when he reacts. This has been going on for the last 2 years, this year being the worst.
I realize ADHD is common now. My son's teacher told me that about half of the class is ADHD but we are not allowed to know who those students are, we can only speculate. My point is, my son has now been singled out by his teacher telling his classmates he has ADHD so in my mind she violated his privacy rights and has made him more vulnerable to harrassment by kids who are cruel. Am I right or am I wrong? He is already being bullied and this will only give them more ammunition to target him. Already today someone called my son a "sped", meaning special education, although he isn't in special education so this kid has no clue. Admittedly my son doesn't stand up for himself and he just takes it because he wants to fit in so badly. But he is hurting and will get very emotional when we talk about it at home. My husband and I have had enough and it has got to the breaking point. My husband wants to talk to a lawyer but I'm not sure if that is the way to go. I told the teacher on the phone tonight I would like to come in to confront the class and single out each one of the kids that are the worst, naming them in front of their classmates and cause them humiliation and embarrassment. She said that would probably make things worse, which I agree with. Besides I know I wouldn't be allowed to do that anyway.
middle school kids who need
The library will accept volunteers at age 11. I would go sign up today.
Every other place has insurance restrictions for age.
All the camps around here fill up in February or March, but I would still try to find her something fun to do. Meeting other kids at camp may cost you money, but when she is there she is not thinking about money, just being with the other kids her age.
Try to be close to schools and to things for kids to do, even once she's
s
Well...I am always nervous about letting my kids do things like that (sm)
But I usually let them do it. However, it would depend on the parents. I mean if the guy reeks of alcohol - how bad? Do you mean he drinks a beer or two on the weekends or is he a drunk? Will he be driving your son in a car or boat? If so, I would not be comfortable with that. I have said no at times if I am uncomfortable for a reason, but I always have to think it through and see if there is real danger or if I am just being me - a worry wart. I would find out if that dad is going, if he will be driving the car, if he will be driving a boat, etc. and make my decision from that.
Funny things your kids said or did that cracked you up
When my dd was around three I was cleaning and had her playing in her playroom. I turned off the vacuum and she was standing there looking up at me very intently. She says "do you wanna play a game mommy?" I dont know, what kind of game? I ask. She responded oh I dont know maybe some Milton Bradleys or Parker Brothers.
There's lots of things kids can do at home
all summer that are worthwhile and free. Take them to the library once every week or two and get them reading! Where I lived as a kid it was hot all day, so I read all day and played outside in the evening when it was cooler. It doesn't have to be books, either. It can be magazines, comics, or whatever. Just the 'reading' part is the key. I used to read and re-read old comic books, Life magazines, National Geographics, and books on animals and earth sciences. I also think I read Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn multiple times each during the summer.
Kids can put on a neighborhood circus (and make some cash by charging admission). They can put on a pet show. We used to have pet shows, haunted houses, dog shows, cat shows, talent contests, bike races and foot races, too, and hurdles contests.
With some scrap wood, hammers, nails, etc., (if they're not too small) they can build things. We all had tree houses in just about every large tree in the neighborhood. My friend built a go-cart, and I built a wooden wagon. I also collected rocks, and used that wagon to haul home my latest acquisitions from around the neighborhood. (Much to my mother's dismay... she apparently didn't have the 'rock-gene' that my siblings and I all seem to carry!) Starting collections of any type (even if it's not rocks) can be a fun summer pastime.
Making mud pies and cookies was fun, as was collecging pollywogs and watching them magically turn into frogs.
A job such as painting a fence (a-la Tom Sawyer) can be a messy but fun experience for kids. Or, creating a mural.
Art projects are fun, too. How about giving each kid a journal to write their private thoughts and dreams in? Or, an older child can be taught the basics of cooking or sewing, which will come in handy some day when they're older. You could also teach hand-sewing, beading, embroidery, etc., and let kids make themselves a T-shirt or tank top, shorts, etc. that is work of wearable art.
Or, how about starting a veggie garden for the kids to take care of? They could also be involved in cooking and eating what they grow.
Even though it seems useless, the down-time in the summer, spent just doing NOTHING, isn't as bad as it appears, and when kids don't have every minute booked up for planned activities, they learn to explore what's interesting to them, and amuse themselves.
Can you help with questions for intermediate school kids? sm
I'm going to be giving a little bit of a talk on growing up in an alcoholic family and we are supposed to come up with some questions to put in a hat in case the kids don't ask any or we need more. What do you think intermediate school-age students would be curious about in regards to growing up with alcoholism? Thanks!
our kids have a 2 minute walk from school and
they have already been heckled by meaner kids, they even threw a beer bottle at my 5 year old. I stood behind a fence one day and stepped out in front of him just as he was rounding the corner and told him that if he ever even so much as talked to my kids again I would follow him home and tell his parents exactly what was going on. I told him that I would also talk to the principal, who I know on a first-name basis as i am VP of the PTO. I put the fear of God in that child but I still do not trust him or his little band of siblings he walks with. I almost fear other children more than I do strangers!
My kids dont start school until two days after.. sm
labor day. I usually hit the sales for back to school stuff around this time. Right now I have all our school supplies bought and all our back to school clothes bought. Just need to get shoes, which I dont do until end of August. We usually do a family vacation the end of July first part of August. I also get up extra early every day over the summer so that all my work is done no later than noon. That way I have the rest of the day to play with my kids. My girls are 12, 9, and 6. We put a huge pool in this spring, so we are swimming almost every day. I also try to take them to places like the pottery store where we can sit and paint and just have fun. I try to make all of their days as fun and vacation-like as I can. For the last couple of years we havent really went away for our family vacation. We just find one or two day trips, like the amusement park, zoos, and that sort of thing. So many schools are starting earlier and earlier, but I am thankful that our school system is still on the after labor day schedule.
my kids high school has rats falling from ceiling
For the record, Howard County Maryland was just ranked #1 in per capita income IN THE COUNTRY, yet my kids high school had 6 rats fall through the cafeteria ceiling Wednesday. Last year it was rats and sewage - three separate instances where sewage came up through the emergency shower, dripped from the hall ceilings, and came through the child life development pipes. Oh, sure that was fixed. And how in the world did the health department okay this? I tell ya, we sure do NOT put our money where our mouth is on this education battle. Our team mascot should NOT be Ben the rat!! Just so angry over it all.
Poll for parents with school aged kids at home...sm
1. What ages are your kids?
2. Do they have their own cell phone?
3. Do they have their own TV and or computer in their room? If so, are there set hours they're allowed to use these:
4. Do they receive an allowance? If so, are they required to do chores to receive this?
As for our house, here's the answers. Kids are 15 and 8. 15-year-old has a cell phone and pays her bill. 15-year-old has a TV. The kids share 1 PC that is where we can see what they're doing on it, and they're limited to no more than an hour a day on it if it's a school day. We do have parental controls in place. They don't receive an allowance but they are aware of a special chores list that they can choose to do extra things around the house to make money. They are required to keep their rooms and bathrooms cleaned, as well as alternate cleaning up the kitchen after dinner.
Yes, and friends too. But school is where kids learn facts, so whatever their teacher says (sm)
they are going to think it must be right. I think that is unfair leverage to use to support your own point of view as a teacher.
Call the school. I had a threat like this in my high school and they cancelled school that day.
Thankfully, because the person making the threats was found with material for home made pipe bombs and quit a bit of ammunition and a shotgun. He was arrested and charged. Never allowed back in the school.
I think it would be safer to call the school and get classes cancelled for a day to investigate versus make a scene in the parking lot, especially if the student with the knife is inside with the knife.
Good luck. If nothing happens, pull your child out of school for a week. See what happens. I know that sounds horrible, but small towns is where this happens most often.
How much money rasied for Katrina, how much money for the diasters due to the tidal waves and what?
Every single one of them have had some smoke around it with the money not getting to where it was supposed to go. I did not contribute, I hardly watched, was not caught up again as I have seen things like this before. They should give a all you can give benefit for Darfur where people are being massacared each and every day. Genocide going on there each and every day. I have not seen any benefits to help them out yet.
But her money is her money to spend as she pleases -
I don't understand how you can think it is wrong for her to spend whatever she wants to on whatever she buys. It is their personal money they spend. It is not like they are saying give me those shoes and add it to the taxpayer's bill.
And in all actuality, they are saying spend, spend, spend to get the economy going.
I am sorry, I am jealous that some people still have plenty of money to spend and I don't, but I don't expect those people to quit spending just because I had to.
I've heard good things and about things about taking prednisone. My mom was on it for SM
for awhile and it made her look so swollen. I sympathize with you.
How is the school's fault if Johnny comes to school armed?
And how is the school's fault if off campus people are getting jumped? Everybody wants to blame the schools, but the reason places have gone "zero tolerance" is because every parent whose kid gets popped for an illegal weapon says, "Oh, my little pookie wouldn't do that." Which is exactly what the parents of every perpetrator of school violence has said. At 15, this girl should have been aware that it was verboten and, if they felt that strongly it was necessary, kept it hidden. If she is not capable of thinking that part through, maybe she shouldn't be trusted with pepper spray anyway.
How is this kid in school with chronic infestation? School nurse
s
It didn't work out due to combining of kids and step kids. nm
*
In our school district you can go to any school that you want
but you actually have to pay if you don't live in the District. The private schools here are outrageously priced. You could almost send your child to a community college for the amount they charge.
Things you're afraid of vs. things you're not
I didn't used to be afraid of spiders, but I seem to have developed a fear of those little beasties. I also can't stand boats, water deeper than my hot tub and bridges. I'm also fairly convinced that UFOs, if not aliens (well, isn't anything driving those things?) are real, so that kinda scares me, yet it is strangely fascinating. I'm also afraid of El Chupacabra, though I'm very certain that's not real. It's one of those "hahahahaha" fears.
Things other people fear that I do not include snakes (awwww, they so cute! they look like they're smiling!), rats, gangbangers (except Mara Salvatrucha, move them up to my "scary" list), poverty, death, traveling at high rates of speed with almost anyone sober, bats (CUTE!!!!!), homeless people, Sasquatch, most of my male friends, bears, mountain lions.
Fear is such an odd thing, don't you think? So much of it is relative to our own experiences in life, yet at the same time some of them are downright irrational.
So, how 'bout you? What will send you running screaming in the other direction, and what things can you take care of when someone else goes running screaming in the other direction?
Nope, no kids with him, all of our kids are 20 and over.
I would think that some of the $12,000 A YEAR he paid in support for over 9 years should have been enough to save some for college. He paid his dues so to speak, always paid the support on time, had insurance for them, etc. He told them straight up to pay for their own college. Is there something wrong with that?
ESL kids have a label =$$$. When the illiterate kids get a label slapped on them - they will get a
Most public schools do not teach children to read with intensive phonics. It has nothing to do with class size IMHO. The method of reading instruction is what determines if the kids will learn to read or not.
Consider homeschooling her.
Each child represents a $ amount to public school administration. As long as the child attends they get their $. They still get X amount of $ for each year they teach or do not teach a kid to read.
Their compensation is not reduced when they produce illiterate adults.
You are right on the money here...
What great advice!!! I too did a lot of what you have listed in your post. It worked!!! When rules/expectations are in black and white, it's pretty hard to argue about it...
My 2 teens do their own laundry, clean the kitchen after supper, clean their bathroom, and now that they both work, buy the majority of their "things."
The key, I believe, is responsibility. Kids thrive with responsibility. They may moan and groan about it, but in reality, they thrive with rules and responsibility. Good luck!!! 
She is right on the money about that - sm
As I said in my post above. The discipline at our former (private) school was a joke. Luckily the majority of the kids at this school are good kids, but there are a few bad apples that would never be allowed to get away with what is tolerated at this school. The nutcase (or strangler) in my daughter's former class at the private school would have been expelled by now from a public school. Amazing what they will put up with for $6K a year and an alumni mother. Oh, and of course they have no type of a counselor or psychiatrist at the private school, no nurse even. They had a real cow when Jenny was in chemo and dealing with that. But that is another story.
Money.
Money or a gift certificate to whatever craft store they shop at when they get supplies for the kids. You can also donate money to the teachers "account" at school and it's tax deductible.
Where to put my money
I am selling my house and moving overseas. I will have between 250,000 and 275,000 after agent fees and loan pay off. I want to take about 50,000 and put in a money market account attached to my checking and savings accounts for easy access for things as I need them and for unforeseen expenses.
I don't know how best to use the other approximately $200,000. I will not have a job. My only income right now will be about $1150 a month from my rental property. I would like to invest my other $200,000 and live on the interest combined with my rental income. What is the best return I am looking at?
Of course I know I need to talk to my accountant and maybe hire a financial adviser but I'd like to hear some thoughts and get some direction so I can research it a bit myself.
5% for a money market is okay but is there a better way to structure this? In a couple of years I may want to use this $200,000 to purchase a home or business so it can't be away for good but 3-5 years is okay.
I keep getting told about going offshore because I won't have to pay taxes on the interest and with internet banking it is easy to transfer funds and make payments.
Of course you can tell I am a novice but I would like to start researching my best options. Any advice?
Money - Should I be mad or not?
Suppose you had a friend who was very nice all the time, to everyone, can't stand to hear anyone say an unkind word about anyone. Suppose this friend had come crying to you several times over a period of a couple of months with financial difficulties, and rather than loan them the money (which would prolong the difficulty in my opinion), you just gave it to them to help them get caught up. It was a necessity and children involved, etc.. So you helped them....anyway...
What if after that, it became a regular monthly, and sometimes semi-monthly event, where there was some major issue of why this person needs money, you figured they must really be having a hard time, felt sorry for the children, and helped a couple more times.
It is my feeling that when you give someone something, it is theirs, so you shouldn't even ask what they did with it. But suppose now you find out that they have purchased something fairly expensive ($400) that is a completely unnecessary luxury item (game), that they had to have purchased during the timeframe you were helping them, and mentioned some other things they have been doing recently - things that you yourself can't even afford to do!! Would you feel you had a right to be upset or would you just say to yourself that they have a right to have a life and once they had money, to spend it how they want? This happened to me recently, and while I have decided not to give them any more money, I am not sure if I should be angry or not?
Boy, that's a lot of money. I think about that old man in WV? who won
xx
Well, let me see, about money
I have been given money beyond my wildest dreams, from money I got after being outsourced 6 years from a previous employer, over 100,000 (where did it come from?, got retirement when I left there to money given to me by family member and then after this person's death, sold property left to me by them, sold a property I had before this one- the main thing though and I have said this time and time again- I try my best to help others out, choose either animals or people, whatever touches my heart. This Christmas picked some people out from Craigs List and did things for them. I do not do to get because my heart is just like that but things are always coming to me. My mother told me as a child I was like this, giving and I really believe it just comes back- Karma.
Money...
First of all, I can't understand why you would give him money...secondly, he probably is getting it from another woman. Guess you should just deal with it, it's really not any of your business where the money's coming from...are you engaged or otherwise committed to one another?
Boy, do I need the money
I might not receive it as I made just under $3000.00. The rest of my income was around $11000.00 from SSD. I had two major surgeries last year, and being an IC, have no benefits.
Now, if people in my income level don't need the refund more than the upper limit that was set, I don't know who does! Why in the world they would need it is ridiculous. I can definitely use it for bills, or better yet....FOOD!!
The money came from
my father- I was his only next of kin- no siblings living on my side or father's side, his wife not living. My son and his family had already received close to $100,000 from my father earlier.
you had money for that
the possibility of being on welfare? seems to me welfare wouldn't even have been a possibility if you had money for her college tuition plus. probably could have dropped a job or two. ?
See when it comes to having money around
I usually don’t have, don’t keep as much as $5.00 in the house but when I take her home and pay her, usually stop at the bank to use ATM so no money could be taken from the house. I think if you needed items such as the ones I listed (hubs said also has been missing laundry powders and things like cleaning solutions- he notices these things much more than I do (1 time had told me he had missing herbs he had bought- did not have to worry about me using as I do not cook). I hate to think about losing the help but then again cannot stand the fact of her stealing- by the way, the panties so new might have still had tags on them??
Where is all the money going
money
Has anybody ever heard of a Transcriptionist winning the lotto? thought not...lol, and if you did, I bet she didn't keep on working! 
|
