Keep waking up at night - Guilt? Anxiety?
Posted By: Hot flashes? LOL (sm) on 2007-08-20
In Reply to:
Okay - for months now I have been aking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing and feeling hot. I have to sleep with a fan and keep fipping from one end of hte bed to ther other so the sheets will be cool. I guess that could just be that I'm hot, I don't know. Then I end up being awake for an hour or two while my mind wanders through everything that I am not happy with myself about and I end up making resolutions about how I am going to improve because I'm so bad, etc. I keep wondering if the heart racing is just physical and is maybe anxiety and I am trying to rationalize it as guilt so I start to try to think of what I might feel guilty about? Anyway, the next day I am fine, although I have started spending less money as a result of one of my late night attacks! Does anyone else do this or know what it is? I'm tired of it - and tired the next day!
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Waking Up for School
My daughter is 13 and she started last year getting herself up. She didn't have any problems at all with the exception of sleeping through her alarm which drove me nuts. She woke up 2 hours before the bus even came so she was never late. School starts even earlier for her this year, so we'll see what happens.
Waking up can happen even with general
anesthesia, happened to me in the middle of a face lift as I was having my neck liposuctioned!! So having general (which I think is more than the conscious) does not mean you stay fully asleep. There are others waking with general, have seen stories on it before on 20/20 I think. I had other surgeries after that time but this was the only time I woke during surgery. I joked with the physician later about my awakening that the anesthesiologist must have gone out for lunch at that particular time!!
please don't take on any guilt that someone--sm
else is trying to lay on you. You have enough to worry about without feeling guilty about a human reaction. First off, it was not your husband's fault for not taking the quad off the trailer. It was all your BIL responsibility once he took the vehicles to his property, to make sure they were safe. period. If they are reacting out of anger towards you now, it is because they feel the guilt of responsibility and it may end up costing them something in the future. They do not want to have to pay the consequences for their mistake...so...they are trying to turn it around on you and make you feel guilty for blaming them for your loss. they can only do that if you allow them to. You are in the right. You are also within your rights to attempt to recover for you loss, whether it is family or not. Secondly, the disagreement you got into with your sister is on her shoulders. Heated emails or not, she came to your house, became confrontational with you, and ended up placing her hands on you in anger. Whether she hurt you or not, she aggressively assaulted you. If you let it go this time, just like in any abuse case, be it male or female, it just gives her an open door to do it again, maybe not to you, but to someone else. She feels she can get what she wants by physical means, and that is wrong. You say she and her husband have always been this way, by screwing people over, so they can get what they want, no matter what the consequences. They have apparently never been made to pay the consequences of their actions. They have never learned not to be selfish. Family or not, sister or not, you have the right and obligation to defend yourself, your person and your property, against a selfish onslaught. As I said previously, your sister and BIL would be knocking on your door wanting compensation for their property if it had been stolen from you. Situations are always different when the shoe is on the other foot. Thirdly, even though you love your nephew dearly, she is the parent. It is her responsibility to act in such a way *maturely* so that her *business* is not in jeopardy and she will not lose her job or her home because of it. It is her actions that caused any consequences that come from this. Not yours. She seems to be very good at turning anything she does wrong onto someone else, making it their fault. Do not let her guilt you into thinking you did this, because you did not.
As you said. The damage is done. You cannot undo it. You cannot change it. You did the right thing in protecting yourself from her physical assault. Whatever happens now is a result of her actions, not yours. If per chance this ever calms down, and it will in time, perhaps an amicable solution would be for them to pay HALF of the loss. That way both parties take responsibility. That is just a suggestion. But please, please, do not take on the guilt she is trying to get you to take. Stay strong. Family or not, she had no right to inflict anything on you physically. Just remember that. Abuse is abuse whether you are hurt or not. Trust me on that. I have been there. I wish you all the best!
You ever think it may be guilt that has - sm
kept him from contacting her? People tend to sweep under the rug what they feel bad about, so maybe he swept his former life and child under the rug and cannot go back because he feels guilty of how he treated them. It does happen. Granted there are those who feel nothing and want nothing to do with their past "indiscretions", and are just horrible people to begin with. If it were me I'd get in touch, but with no expectations of becoming one happy family; basically for curiousity. My mom was adopted and on and off I have searched for her birth parents. She is dead now, and unless they are very, very old, her parents are dead too, but I may have some aunts and uncles I know nothing about as well as some cousins that I am still curious about and hope to one day meet. It took me a while but I got her birth certificate released via the courts when my mom was still alive and at least she died knowing her birthday really was her birthday (we had our doubts as her "parents" lied about so much) and the names of her parents, assuming they told the truth on the birth certificate, one never knows. Yes, her contacting her dad will ruffle some feathers but she has a right to contact him and should not let others stop her if she really wants to contact him just because they don't like the idea.
Guilt
Guilt is a major side effect of depression. Believe me, I know! I didn’t realize the extent of my depression until after I started treatment for it. Now that I am on the “other” side of the coin, I am much more aware of the symptoms and triggers. I, too, wondered why everything made me feel guilty, especially when no one really even tried to make me feel that way; I brought it on myself. For years, I kept asking myself why I was feeling that way and never came to a solid conclusion. Now that I am on medication, there was no real reason for my guilt other than I was depressed. I can honestly say that any guilt I feel right now is a normal healthy level, enough to help me remain considerate to others, but it is no longer a major part of my life. I feel like a slave who has been set free from bondage. I’ve learned that it’s okay to pamper myself and take care of some my own needs. However, I don’t think I could have ever done it on my own without the help of medication.
I would never put you on guilt trip for that
That little beast is a nervy ho!!!! The worst part of having kids is dealing with other kids and their parents. How DARE she do that? Use your computer? But I will say, this will be an ongoing war for eternity now with the mother.
first, quit the guilt
If you have been burned by someone repeatedly, and they still want you around, they have to be open to your verification to gain your trust. He doesn't respect you enough to get help and stick with it, as he has proven repeatedly, so why should he be surprised if you want reassurance of his activities. If he doesn't want to change, then there is nothing you can do to make him. You have to decide if it is really worth hanging on. Is life apart from him really that much worse than with him? I would advise you to see if there is anyone you can talk to who is an expert on addiction and those who live with addicts (you didn't say whether you have a counselor available or maybe a support group). FWIW, I've been there, and I would never give a man as many chances as you have. It is your life. Reclaim it for yourself!
My point is that the e-mail check is not what you should worry about. How his problems affect your life/sanity/sense of self is what you should focus on.
Good luck!
Regardless, that doesn't take away his guilt sm
She didn't believe it then, but she does now. Better late than never. He is still guilty and people who are willing to do those types of things don't change. My point to Mrs. R is that we are not villifying men in general, this woman's husband is guilty of doing something very bad.
you're into guilt by association? s/m
As I know it, they broke up months ago..........so I have read...and anyway - you sound like my 87 year old mother!!! 
Guilt? I am much too old to think about such a superficial thing
I just wondered who makes you the guru of all things good or bad? I just happen to know that things mentioned here, not all, but some are absolutely good for you. My husband is a chef and I am a registered dietician. You need to go back on the other board where you always seem to stir things up.
either postpartum depression or embarrassed/guilt
I have known people to withdraw due to feeling like people are going to make fun of their child, blaming themselves or postpartum depression. Is this their first child? Could be that she is just simply overwhelmed. What does her mother-in-law/mother think? Is she also pulling away from them?
Just let her know that you are there for her even if that means sending her a card.
Confessional is for the purpose of relieving people's guilt of sin.
The law is written on mankind's heart. Confessional and or talking with your pastor is a helpful tool toward relieving guilt and for guidance. People who quote scripture like this should know it is fine to quote but also should be educated on the original purpose of confessional. No one ever said the Pastor is taking the place of Christ. Read up on Luther's papers, please.
I see where you are coming from because I would be nagged by guilt and feeling responsible
for the problem. I have those tendencies too. No way should you cash your IRA for a car.
Anxiety
Looking for suggestions for anxiety relief. I am weaning off of trazodone and bupropion and experiencing some anxiety. I have taken GABA but it makes me sleepy so it not good to take it while I am working. Any suggestions much appreciated.
Normal anxiety???
I have a lot going on in my life right now - mother-in-law diagnosed with advanced metastatic ovarian cancer a week and a half ago, requested husband and I go to a marriage counsellor (which I started even though I don't want to), and starting a new full-time job at a hospital (not at home) on Monday. I have not worked FT outside of my home since my children were born and am worried about having them in early and after care, holidays, etc.
Anyway, I have been waking up and night with my heart pounding, cannot get back to sleep for hours, and having a "panicky" feeling in my chest off and on throughout the day. I feel like crying. Do you think this is situational anxiety or do I need medication? I can't stand this feeling!! Thanks for any advice!
I have OCD and anxiety, but have a lot of the problems
that you describe. I've been dragging my feet going to a doctor, but I know I really need to. The most noticeable thing to me is that I have to read something several times before it sinks in. I have been a great reader my whole life. I read every day and love to, but now I am noticing that I am having a hard time. I know stress can mess with your concentration, etc., but that is why I was asking. I guess I need to go see a doctor, I just hate to.
My husband is on them too for anxiety.
Ever since his heart attack, every little thing sends him on edge. If it weren't for those little pills, we'd be at the emergency room every 48 hours! Even though the doctors reassured him it's only anxiety, he still flips out. One of these bad boys and he is good to go. It doesn't make him stupid or over sedated, just takes the edge off...but he is a 300+ pound guy. I'm sure it affects different people in different ways. I've never tried one myself...I'm always looking for the opposite effect. I need an upper!
Am I having an anxiety attack?
Okay, this has happened a few times now lately. I do have a lot of stress, but I don't think it is more than anyone else. I fell like I can't sit still, very antsy (sm), my shoulders and neck feel like they are being pulled/stretched. Sitting in this chair I have to keep rocking. It's the can't sit still that is driving me nuts. The more I try to stop it the worse it gets. Try transcribing with this. What can I do to get past it? I'm was trying to go to sleep and couldn't lie still in the bed. If I truly focus on something I can get a few minutes of peace, but it doesn't last. Can anyone help?
Sounds like anxiety to me.
I have anxiety, and I take 1/2 tablet of Xanax, which helps when I get antsy. It is hard to focus. You want to focus, but your mind races and you just can't sit still. It is anxiety. It will only get worse, so I would see your doctor and let them know what's happening.
separation anxiety
Cesar Millan has some great books on dog behavior. He has a web site as well. Google canine separation anxiety and you'll get lots of info. Good luck!
We have a basset with anxiety (sm)
He's an old male and whines and howls a lot, particularly when we have company. He's always been like that. When he's particularly bad, my husband was instructed to give him an antianxiety drug. (I'm not sure which one--he had specific instructions of which I am unclear.) Our female basset is happy, jumpy, playful, and silly.
I'm not sure, but maybe your basset just has that kind of personality like our basset does. My husband has raised several bassets. This male dog he has is the only one that has had anxiety problems. He's raised several female bassets with no anxiety, excessive whining, or excessive howling problems like the male.
Our boy dog howls so much sometimes that his voice gets hoarse. It's so sad to hear it happen.
Yes, guilt is my downfall. Now, I feel guilty because she has no life survival skills because I have
done everything for her...so now I blame myself about how she will survive because she has no idea what to do. I guess I didn't have anyone leading my way. I've been on my own since I was 16 years old and I made it okay. She calls me for EVERYTHING..how do I do this.. how do I do that and I know now it's time just to let her fall because she'll never learn how to pick herself up if I keep doing it. That's the hardest teacher..falling on your face. She even said that she feels different because she doesn't know anything other kids her age know how to do.. That right there should have made me STOP.. I have not done her any favors..When I thought I was helping her, I was just making it worse and enabling. I'm done with it. Thanks for listening.
Anxiety is a terrible thing.
Xanax works for me. I suffered too long with out. Only can take half the dose, but I feel more focused. I don't feel I need it every day. Anxiety is a real disorder and does not always coincide with depression. Like Hayseed says it can come with a traumatic insult of sickness on one's self, i.e., heart attack.
Anxiety and depression are two different diagnoses
Sometimes they co-exist, sometimes they don't, sometimes long-term suffering of one will create the other. Some are situational, some are chemical. Family docs now spooning out SSRIs like candy have blurred them into a generic diagnosis with a generic fix, IMO.
I get the impression she's expressing more anxiety
here (as in venting and getting emotinos out) than she is emoting to her son.
Anyone on Lexapro for stress and anxiety?
Do you like it? Is it working for you?
my son has anxiety and a little phobia around crowds sm
the psychologist suggests anti-anxiety medicine. his pediatrician prescribed Prozac. i'm hesitant about giving this to hime. anyone else have a child they've put on prozac? he's 10.
i've heard fish oil omega-3 stuff was good for anxiety/depression. i mentioned this to the pediatrician. they say it's not approved by FDA. ok, what about all these drugs are are approved by FDA that have side effects. for instance, he said Prozac can enhance suicidal thoughts. my son has talked about dying before. that he didn't want to live. this is off the subject, but what hormone replacement for women who have gone through menopause? aren't those dangerous for possibly causing breast cancer? those are FDA approved.
i just don't know what to do. my son definitely has anxiety that is interfering with his every day routine with school and some of it going to store and being around big crowds. i want to help him, but i don't want to put him in danger.
anyone else out there with kids who have anxiety and what have you done to help them?
So magnesium and zinc help anxiety? sm
My son has been helped a lot with omega fatty acid supplements. A lot of kids appear depressed or anxious when they are deficient in omega fatty acids. So if magnesium and zinc also help I'd like to try that too.
Thanks
info on separation anxiety
from the same site.
http://www.ddfl.org/behavior/sep-anxiety.pdf
I concur. He may be experiencing anxiety attacks, which would
most definitely cause profuse sweating. As already stated by others, probably the best "medicine" he can receive is TLC provided by you.
Have any of you been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder?
I have within the last week or so. Just wondering what meds your doc put you in and if it is helping and how long it helped all of your symptoms. I guess I was expecting "a feel-good feeling", too, but not really. The anxiety is definitely better. Had gone to the ER 3 times in less than a week, thinking it was my heart, but not.
Any help would be appreciated.
I stay home!!! (I think I have social anxiety). nm
nm
Be careful if you have a tendency to anxiety/panic. Wellbutrin
people who suffer with anxiety/panic.
And Thursday night is safer than Friday night - how?
We used to live in a town that was once in the Guiness Book of World Records for number of churches per capita (which by the way was the worst place I've ever lived - discourteous, Nazi schools, etc.), and they wouldn't let us trick or treat on Sundays. Ridiculous! People can say what they want but celebrating Halloween doesn't make you a devil worshiper! Just my 2 cents!
I had the same thing the night before...last night though (sm)
made teriyaki chicken and macaroni and cheese from a box. Tonight is chicken and rice. Tomorrow night is leftover teriyaki chicken :-)
Yes, I used to take 20 mg at night
and this worked very well for me. I also felt a little out of it for the first week or so, but give it time to work as I didn't notice any changes until about 3-4 weeks after taking it. I'm sure you know this, but don't stop taking it altogether without weaning because I actually ran out of it once for about a week and I had really bad symptoms of withdrawal after the second day.
Hope it works for you! It really did help me a lot, and I got to a point where I didn't need it anymore.
Do you take it all during the day or only at night?
I took that 1/2 a tab this morning and fell asleep on the couch after lunch. Ended up oversleeing for my 2:00 shift. Don't want to do that anymore.
I'm sorry about what happened to you. That would be freaky to have someone jump out in front of your car like that.
I only take it at night. I take it about 35 min. before I go to bed. If I were to take it during the
/
An Okay night, Me2!
At first when I went to bed I was freakin' out! I did not sleep that well, but them drifted off. I think maybe when Hermie comes home at night (He works at home, but has a job a few evenings second shift) when he check his mail he leaves the front door open. I think that is how they get in! He said he had three in about 5 years!! See my post about Hermie. I'm havin' some unsavory thoughts! HAAAA!
Yes, the party was a smash hit. My precious growled at me when I acted like I ws gonna take her new rope toy. I heard this little ERRRRRR under the table and cracked up. She loves to jump up on my lap about 500 times per visit, but last night those jump-ups were rather limited. She was GUARDING HER TOY! Every time she jumped up I could see her looking to the side with her big eyes watching the toy on the floor! 
I will try to enjoy my day. Some days I am not really up for just being alone and doing errands, but today I am. I need to relax. I have had so much pain lately again. I am glad we are email friends and sure wish we could get together sometime. Do you enjoy watching the agility trials and dog shows? I wish I knew of a place when it gets cooler to do to just take a lawn chair and watch these fabulous dogs perform for the crowds! I don't know if I told you before, but I went to Westminster with my niece and friend in 2006! What a thrill! I wrote a song and sang it on CD and took along and gave it to David Frei. I sure wish you could hear it! About a month ago I wrote another song about a dog show, but I really don't want to go to the expense now to find someone to play for me and put it on CD.
Have a great day, and read my Hermie post. You might smile. IT IS ALL TRUE, so help me TYNE! 
N/T Fan, what did you think about last night?
Loved it, but poor Christian, feeling so left out. But still up to his old ways. I didn't like what he did at the end.
Linda
We did that last night
We had pancakes and bacon.
When I was a kid we did that every Wed. night
That was our FAVORITE dinner! Scrambled eggs, bacon and toast! I still do that now, though not as often. I get hungry just thinking about bacon.
COF night
We do a COF night - clean out the fridge - where we just warm up all the leftover from the meals during the week. Usually was something leftover from every meal or frozen in containers to just microwave as all it takes is adding a bit to the weekly meals. Everyone seems to like it and finds plenty - just get out some applesauce or fruit to add and we are good. Sometimes throw in a batch of cornmeal muffins.
We have it almost every night unless
We've been married for 16 years. I don't know what the average is, but I guess you have to really want it.
AI last night
I was very happy with last night's outcome. I love Adam and I think Allison is amazing for being so young. Not too sure about Chris. I really don't like the way they're doing the voting at all this year, though because I thought there were more than 3 that should have gone through this round and last round. It will be interesting to see who their wild card picks are going to be. Did you know that Clay was a wild card and he ended up coming in second and being pretty successful.
Well, how did you like last night?
I think the final 13 are about the best I have seen in several years now. Started off with a bang. I loved Danny, Lil and dog it, cannot think of the other's names yet. The group really is hot. I am glad to see it back as a contest of singing, hopefully not a contest of who is the most popular. This is a good group to choose from.
AI last night
I thought most of them did an awesome job. I did miss a few, but my favorites so far are Adam, Danny, Matt, Lil Rounds and Alexis, although I do think the judges were right last night and she was a little too over the top. Now what do you think about what they said last night about the big change? I was a little worried at first, but then on The View, Elizabeth was thinking that maybe it has something to do with the way the votes are done this year. She thinks that maybe the judges will have a say this year and not just the voters. If that's the case, I may like it. That way if America votes off someone and the judges think they were wrong, they can keep them. Not sure if this is what it is or not, but it made sense -- don't make it a popularity contest, but a real competition. She likened it to Sanjaya where he basically stayed because he was so popular.
Last night's AI
I personally cannot stand country music so last night was tough for me to watch but I am wowed by the talent this year. It's hard to say who should be in the top 4. Love the young 16 yo rocker girl and also love Megan. She reminds me a little of Joss Stone.
But it is the next day, was on last Night. NM
n
On a slightly different night...
...one of our previous pastors was called on the carpet for putting up a few Halloween decorations on his own propery. Not by anyone in our congregation, but by a stranger. They told him he should "know better."
I also don't know what decorating for Halloween has to do with those poor Amish girls, either. Weird. I decorate for fall more than Halloween, especially since my kids don't like to carve Jack-o-lanterns anymore, and Halloween has never been my thing since I was a little kid and the neighborhood teenagers had me scared out of my wits, but it sounds like you have fun!!
20/20 had a special on E-Bay the other night,
warning about scam sellers - it was actually a repeat though they touted the show as new. On the test buys they ran, all the sellers who scammed them in one way or another had 98% or above feedback. The feedback means nothing, really, as there are lots of ways to remove it - i.e. paying for it to be removed, and also lots of feedback blackmail, where most buyers are too wimpy to leave a negative, as it means they will get one, too. So the feedback system is not valid at all.
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