Keep that vicious alcoholic out of your home...sm
Posted By: Ella (retired) on 2009-05-05
In Reply to: from the other side... - Kendra
And tell your husband exactly why. I would leave him if he didn't stand by me in this. This is grossly absurd. If she won't put the plug in the jug, sober up and make amends, she does not deserve to ever see her grandchildren or to set foot in your home.
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I think it is a vicious circle really
Those who are not doing so well at the moment can take a comment the wrong way due to their emotional state at the time. When emotions are high things you wouldn't normally think twice about upset you.
But on the other side of the coin, the people who are doing well for themselves sometimes, knowingly or not, rub it in the face of those struggling because that is what happened to them when they were less fortunate.
The people who are doing well for themselves think that because they did, means that everyone can. They don't stop to take into account the various factors that make up each individual situation.
I would like to deport Ann Coulter. What a vicious B
aa
Not everyone who goes to a bar is an alcoholic
It's insulting for people to think because you go to a bar/club your an alcoholic. That would be like saying the people who go to church are self-righteous cult members, and then wonder how they married someone who is self-righteous and judgmental of others. Doesn't feel too good does it? I don't go to bars but did when I was younger. I went to meet people (other people who were not alcoholics who also wanted to meet people) I went to bars/clubs because I loved to dance and I did drink but not excessively, maybe 2 or 3 drinks on a Friday or Saturday night or sometimes just a coke with no alcohol, and not every weekend. But I loved to dance and that is mainly why I went. BTW - I met my husband in the service.
alcoholic husband
He has to hit bottom, and only then will he start coming up, if he gets help from AA or something similar....and HE HAS TO WANT TO DO IT.
Alanon can give you some good ideas, and I think the longer you and the children stay and put up with him, you will be coenablers, without even intending to be. When they get backed to the wall they become frightened, swear to never take another drink, but nine times out of 10 they do. They need support, not from you, but from the experts. Your support will come later if he stays clean and sober. Please, the children and you need to leave now, it may be for good, or he might come around and stay dry. Yes, get a lawyer and start proceedings. I wish you all the luck in this world. You're a good mom, don't forget that.
Husband says he is an alcoholic. (sm)
He has a good job, never misses work, never lays around drunk. But has alcohol almost daily. Hides it in his truck, cabinets, etc. and will be drinking a mixed drink when I think he is just having a soda or something like that. He has told me this in the past too and I thought he was kidding. But yesterday he said there is "no doubt about it, I'm definitely an alcoholic." We have had many marital problems and now I am wondering if that is why and I have just been blind to it. Could he really be an alcoholic and me not know it?
I am a recovering alcoholic. Went
to treatment in 1982. Believe me when I say no one admits to alcoholism unless they have a problem. It is a disease of denial, and some deny it all the way to the grave. The first step in recovery is admitting we are powerless over alcohol. Not only is the alcoholic sick, but the whole family because a lot of the time, the family enables the alcoholic to keep on drinking by denying it themselves. Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous can help a lot. In AA, the alcoholic learns how to live sober and learns what to do to change his life, habits, friends, etc. Al-Anon teaches the family how to change what they have been doing. I hope you don't think I am preaching, but I know how it is because I have been there. I do know that if I ever drink again, I won't live because the disease progresses whether we are drinking or not..
i don't think polite will sink in with an alcoholic.
First be a friend and tell her she really needs help. Encourage AA. Offer to take her there. Then set the boundaries, that she either gets help or needs to find another place to live by such-and-such a date.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He. too,
held a full-time job, did all the *things* he was supposed to do but came home EVERY night and consumed anywhere from a pint to a quart of liquor (first bourbon and later vodka). He knew he was an alcoholic and would tell you so. One day after months of feeling like crap all the time, he decided it was time to quit. His doctor admitted him to the hospital. He is 6 feet tall and weighed 122 pounds. They kept him for about 3 days and detoxed him. He came home and had a rough few weeks. Thankfully, though, he has been sober now for 15 months. Please encourage your husband to get the help that he needs. My prayers are with you.
if he states he thinks he may be an alcoholic, he is asking for help
nm
Divorcing an alcoholic is not an easy thing to do
First and foremost you need to get him away from your children, sounds like they've been around it too long already. Living under the same roof with an alcoholic during a divorce is not the way to go. I'm one of those children and never understood why it took my mother so long to end it (of course that was years and years ago). Just because he is your children's father doesn't mean he should be around them. Obviously he chooses alcohol over his family. Don't bother trying to make it amicable, just get a good attorney. Half the time your hubby won't show up to court anyway! Good Luck!
My husband is an alcoholic currently in rehab for his addiction.
Our marriage has suffered terribly because of his addiction. Actually, I should say my love for him has suffered terribly because of his alcoholism. He is totally dependent on me and I have come to feel more like his mother than his wife. I make the money, pay the bills, take care of our children, basically run the house. He's either always looking for a job or working as a self-employed used engine and transmission salesman/mechanic barely making any money at all.
Recently, I told him I didn't love him anymore and that I was tired of taking care of him. So he entered rehab as a way to win me back and prove his love for me. He calls me at least 20 times a day from rehab. If I don't answer, he will call repeatedly every two minutes or so until someone answers or he has to go back to group or class or whatever.
He will get out of rehab at the end of this month and fully expects to come back home and provie that he is changing. My problem is this, I don't want him to come home. I have enjoyed the peace I've had with him gone (save for the constant phone calls). However, I fear that if I am honest with him and tell him over the phone that I don't want him back, this will affect his sobriety and basically he will see no reason to finish rehab and remain sober. He tells me repeatedly that he is doing this for me. I've told him he should be doing it for himself or at the very least, his kids and he will just agree with me and change the subject.
He's not a bad person. He just has his problems and I'm tired of feeling like I have this anchor around my neck all of the time. While he's been gone I've enjoyed spending time with my kids. I've gotten together with my girlfriends for dinner and movies and just had girls' night out. I've spent time visiting my mom and sister and helping my niece plan her upcoming wedding. Without my husband around, I've just feel free to have fun and do stuff for me.
How can I tell him that I want a divorce without feeling responsible for affecting his rehabilitation? How would you handle it?
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
.
Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
Daniel had a home, a very good home...
with someone in my family at one point.
She met her late husband at a club down the freeway from me. It's not a fancy place, like you say.
She does have a real brother though. That was the connection on our part.
I agree, though. It is sad that all this is coming out the way it is. I believe she was a good person...she just had a lot of problems, mainly drugs. What is really sad is that all of this is going to be seen by her daughter one day when she grows up.
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
Home sweet home.
x
Home, Home, On The Range SM
where the beer and the cantaloupe play . . . where seldom is heard . . . .
What happens at home stays at home. (nm)
:op
She is home, by that I mean she is 1 mile from her home.
I am the one that moved away. My brother lives there, but she requires 24-hour nursing care right now, and he is unable to provide that for her. My son is graduating high school this year and I plan to move back to take care of her, but I just can't until then. I did tell the adminstrator that they have 24 hours to figure this out, and then we will bring in the police. I have also threatened to go to the media, and this facility has a very excellent reputation and is run by the Brethren Church, so I would think they might not want bad publicity. It is a pretty small town and this is one of only a couple of care homes in the area.
It's Your Home
And I would keep the display just as it is. He had no right to come to your home and tell you to take it down.
Yes ~ I just got home...
They took it back with no problems and he even let me open the new one at the courtesy desk before I took it home. Looking back now, and don't ask me why I remember or even noticed, but you know how when they pass stuff over that little round magnet thing at the checkout to disable the security sensor inside, it kind of makes a little noise, kinda like a little "boing" sound? Well, when I did the exchange today, he passed the new ink over that circle and it made that noise and for some reason I remember the other one didn't make that noise when I bought it. Now, I know why.
Like I said, don't ask why I would remember something like that. My head is so full of useless stuff like that it's a wonder I can do my job!
Where is Home?
I'm not talking about where you live now, either. I'm missing my "home" today, and I'd like to know, where is "home" to you? Do you ever miss it? Will you be heading "home" for the holidays?
All the guy can go home now
- not good with names but the black woman who sang a Whitney song and the black woman who is really shy - Either one of those 2 will me our next American Idol! Remember where you heard it first!
Yes, now way down here. Sometimes I want to go home so bad.
But I don't want to shovel, so I guess I'll stay here! Maybe I'll go back when if my son decides to go to the U of M. Go Gophers!
Not really, did it hit home with you or
sound like your situation? I wrote as overall but if the shoe fits, so to say....If I have major issues, have not really found them yet so don't know where you are coming from, makes no sense to me but guess to you it does. My hubby has eyes for me and that is all that counts here.
home is everywhere and no where :)
i grew up in 1 place, but have moved many many times now...traveled with the racehorses, married a racerider and keep looking for greener pastures i guess!
19 and at home!
My 19 yo boy lives at home trying to get through college, and yes they think they own the world at that age. But rules are you live here you follow and respect the guidelines. Our boy broke some other rules agreed upon and now his curfew is 12 am Mond-Sund. You can't spank the kids, but making life just a bit difficult works well. If he decides he does not need to follow that curfew then he was told he can start supporting himself (HA! That wouldn't last).
If you ran away from home.....
where would you go?
This is probably it for us unless we get put in a home
s
Thanks! He is home already!
He is obviously in a lot of pain. The car trip home was rough. I sat in the back with him, trying to help him. I should have thought to put a dog bed back there, but I didn't. He is lying with his tush on a dog bed and his head wedged up under my chair, breathing fast and shallow, trying not to cause himself any pain. He still has a chest tube in, and we couldn't get him to lie down with the chest tube up, so it's underneath him. It's also time for a pain pill, so I'm going to have to wake him up for that, poor baby.
If I have the nerve I'm supposed to try to get more air out through the stopcock. I can't do it if he's going to lie on that side though.
My son used to come home
drenched in cologne that he kept in his car. Like that wasn't a give away. Now that he's 20, he just comes in smelling like a smoker. Yuck. The only adult he is around who smokes is my father and when he found out that my son was smoking, he tried so hard to quit. Now, my DD has also started smoking. She had asthma as a child and is on the BC pill, but she knows EVERYTHING, so there's no talking to her.
WELCOME HOME!!
WELCOME HOME CEDRIC! I hope you'll be very happy with Misha and her family!
God bless !!
Jan
Is your new job another at-home job with a - sm
nationl, or did you find an inhouse job? I'm in your same situation, except that my bills are current. Still, that leaves $0 for emergencies, car repairs, and a pittance for food.
After searching high & low, it appears that it just isn't going to be possible to find an at-home job that pays more than about 9 cpl, and unless I want to spend my waking hours doing nothing but working, and STILL be in the poorhouse, I just can't afford it anymore. For some reason the few inhouse jobs that are left pay by the hour, and have far better benefits.
So, my New Year's resolution is to get out there and find a better job. It was great working from home, but I want to get back to having a life again.
Well, you must be at my home 24/7, right
I talk with her all the time- I offered the washer and dryer because I have the money to do so, just recently updated my dishwasher, offered mine for hers and my husband I went over and he installed for her. We have offered many times to assist with things around her home, this is not new- she makes less than us, my husband can fix things and he will for her, she has a new home so we are available. We give time and love- just speaking with a hospice patient long distance sorta overrides other things at that point.
Who goes home
There's some speculation that nobody will go home since it's American Idol Give Back week (isn't that what happened last year)? But if someone goes home, I think it will be Carly or Syesha. The one I really think should go is Kristy Lee Cook. I really don't believe she's in the same league as the rest.
Have you seen my car or home?
I do not believe so. I would love for you to see the ex-spouse's lifestyle though.
Home
Western Colorado. In a flash!
Don't think its home alone as much as
having something to do...atleast for my hubs. I work at home so I'm almost always here but he can't stand to stay home most days. He has to be running somewhere for something. Drives me nuts! I always have a list of things to do around the house. It is never ending.
How often is she at your home?...sm
Maybe if you could just try to hang in there for the time she is there. How is it when she is not there? Do you guys get along, does he spend time with you? It sounds like she is a spoiled brat. You have obviously done the right thing letting him know how you feel but why don't you try just ignoring them and doing your own thing when she is there and see if he likes being ignored or pushed to the side. Her banging the door and cryng when it is shut is ridiculous. He should not allow her to be so spoiled. If they wanted to go places and not include you more power to them. Less time you have to be around the little brat. Look at it like that. LOL. He should not allow her to call you "she." That is disrespectful to you. You have a name. I don't have this problem. Don't have any stepchildren. The only advice I can give is give them all the time they want. Ignore them if that is the way he wants to play it. If he says something about you ignoring them or not being socialable say oh I thought that is what you wanted since you don't include me in anything. I would just do my own thing and let him do his with the little darling.
Home Ec
We still have it at our Jr. High School, the boys and the girls both have to take a half semester of it.
Yes, this is his home too
and for me keeping the cat mainly outside that comes in occasionally is an okay compromise. It took both are hard-earned money to buy this house and keep it up.
Like another poster said, we are overpopulated with cats. They are getting dumped and the mama cats are having babies left and right. I am getting mine fixed because of this. I found a home for 2 of the babies but I need to find 2 more homes.
Not sure who is going home, but
I absolutely loved Danny last night.
Tell him to worry about his own home, and
if he doesn't like it don't come over and don't send his children over.
I hate it when people behave this way. HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Close to my home!
This happened pretty close to me, actually.
I haven't heard everything, but I guess they finally caught them!!
I have only caught a few pieces of it on the news here and there, running between one thing and the next.
The only thing I've gathered from it is that this lady has had previous problems dealing with social workers--problems as in on her end. This was her 5th child. 3 have been taken away and another had died of SIDS.
The social worker was killed by "several puncture wounds with a sharp object".
That's really about all I know....
Anyone sew at home to supplement MT? sm
I'm just getting back into sewing after being out of it for many years. I always did love to sew but working fulltime with 3 kids and a busy hubby didn't leave much time for it. Would like to make articles to sell on Ebay. Any ideas? I'm thinking in the line of scrub tops for nurses. I see they are pretty good movers.
Home for me is Philly....
I live in Oregon now, don't fly well, and all my family is there. The DH and I drive cross country every year to see them. I would give just about anyting to be with my sister, brother, and their families at this time of year! Our dad just passed a year ago, mother many years ago, so we are all that's left. If my DH did not have such a great job here we would be there!
My Home's in Alabama - nm
:O)
home is where your heart is
Home has always been Texas but almost seven years ago I married a wonderful man and my children and I moved away to the Northwest to make a "home" with him. I went home as often as I could to see my ailing grandmother who raised me. As much as I tried I just could never seen to feel at home here but life as it is my beloved grandmother passed away and Texas no longer was the home I longed for I was happy here with my family and this last year I gave birth to a beautiful little boy and ever since I have felt this inexplicable need to take him home, home to my grandmothers house (someone elses home now) and to feed the ducks in the park like she did so many times with me growing up. So this year I am taking my baby ??home?? to plant roses at my grandmothers grave like I did so many times in her yard and bring home some roses from her yard my mother was kind enough to save for me when they sold her home. So that I can plant them in my yard and create a special place to sit with my little one and tell him stories of my childhood and of the special angel he has to watch over him as he grows up. So where is home???? Home for me has always been in my grandmothers embrace and I thank god each day that I was so blessed to know such love and pray that he will guide me in being the same kind of mother to my children and hopefully they feel (or will feel) about me the way I do about her. So this CHRISTMAS tell those dear to you how much you love them. Merry Christmas
$40, color and cut and IN MY HOME YET.....
However, if you get in your car and drive to any salon here in nicer S. Florida neighborhoods - you'll pay through the teeth.
Of course I tip her above the $40 she charges me for the cut and color....*S*
And you are saying to look at things in my home because
I am closing an account? That does not really make too much sense to me, maybe to you?? Did not state why I was closing but why should I check articles in my home?? Do not get the connection.
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