Keep away from anyone who would
Posted By: nana on 2007-11-11
In Reply to: Am I over-reacting here?? - MT in MT
treat a 2-year-old that way. I am a grandma and let me tell you that if some man did that to my 2-year-old grandchild I would have given HIM a chocolate bar right up his left nostril! The whole pack even! Tell your mom you love her and welcome her to YOUR home. Have holidays there and invite her. Don't invite him. He has opted out as far as I am concerned. Let her know why you are not visiting her at her "home" anymore. Visit your brother at his home. Let your brother visit at your home. I can't imagine a mom who would put up with a man who treated her grandchildren like that. It is incomprehensible to me. Even little children can feel when they are not welcome and it is damaging to them to have to listen to someone who would talk that way to their mother (you) when they are 2. The older one, at 10, could benefit from this and how you handle it for her future reference if you just be honest and tell her or him that you don't feel comfortable around step-dad and that from now on grandma will be visiting alone at your house. Make the most of whatever time you have with your mom, but don't back down on this. When one marries someone with a pre-existing family one marries their spouse and everybody else in the immediate family (in my opinion) and that includes little kids with melted chocolate on their hands and face. I hope he loves being lonely on holidays - he may not care if he has a chocolate-free environment that he can bask in. Wait until he is in a nursing home and no one visits him because he is so unpleasant. I bet then he would give half his bank account for one 2-year-old with a chocolate bar. Your husband could develop a new hunting interest, like wild pigs or antelope and get a new hunting partner or whatever - tell him to broaden his horizons. If your mom doesn't get in touch with you, you could email her one more time and remind her that you are there and willing to talk when and if she decides that is what she would like to do and then stick by what you know is right. I am sorry for you too. Hopefully, your husband and children will help you make a happy life together and if your mom doesn't want to be part of it then it is her loss, but don't be surprised if she eventually shows up when she realizes that you are serious.
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