Just to play devil's advocate...
Posted By: phillychick on 2008-04-15
In Reply to: Women aren't on their own listof priorities (sm) - Falling apart MT
there are many women who LIKE to play the victim, poor me, I sacrifice all the time role. IMHO, this is a lot of psychobabble designed by women to further their status as the downtrodden gender. No one can MAKE you not take care of yourself first; you choose to do that to yourself. It doesn't take a genius (or Oprah) to figure out that if you do for others all the time and are not taking the time to take care of yourself that you are eventually going to wear thin and fall apart. Too many women on anti-whatever drugs (anxiety, depression) who can't figure out how to go through day to day existence without mother's little helper pill. It only stands to reason that if you try to be perfect you will fail; something will be neglected in the long run. Deal with it, do the best you can and don't be a doormat. If you fill your face with junk all the time and are fat and don't exercise, that is nobody's fault but your own. If you try to do it all and don't ask for help, that too is your own fault. Women today have it much easier than other generations did. My mother-in-lawr raised 4 boys, worked on the family dairy farm, cooked 3 meals a day and cleaned every day and never thought twice about it. We are spoiled compared to that!
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Perhaps I'm playing devil's advocate or maybe I need a
But, I just don't get it.
If things are this dire and it sounds as if what you have posted about him is true, it sounds like you need to spend EVERY POSSIBLE MOMENT getting out of this situation to protect yourself but, most importantly, to protect your children.
What I don't understand is, if time is of the essence and you're taking all of these steps to extricate yourself and your children from this situation...
Why are you wasting precious time soliciting the opinions of virtual STRANGER on an internet forum, and wasting hours arguing with posters?
I dunno...I've never been in an abusive situation, but it seems to me soliciting advice and sympathy from strangers on the internet would be the LAST thing on my mind.
Best of luck to you. It's 2008. If you really want to get out of that situation, and get your children out of it, you can and will.
Jen is the DEVIL. sm
I never saw anyone so totally self-absorbed in my entire life. I'm sad to see Joe & Diick (2 of my favorite people on this year's show) up for eviction this week, but STILL, I sure am looking forward to watching whoever of them remains totally kick Jen's red-Lycra-clad gluteus maximus.
PS! What the __???? I had to purposely misspell D's name above, 'cuz the software kept telling me this was a *bad word*! LOL
The Jersey Devil!
I grew up in South Jersey, and I was told about the Jersey Devil. It's a local legend, and it's a long tale. But if you Google "Jersey Devil" you'll see that this story has some oomph to it! I believed it as a child, and I think I still believe it! In any case, I still get the willies when I'm camping in the Pine Barrens at night!
Totally agree! which is why I advocate
providing one's own happiness regardless of whether you are in or out of a relationship.
high 5!
I did try to get a consumer advocate involved
but no luck. Called 1 day and would not take my call, guess he had more important ones that day. I agree totally with you about getting a news channel involved, I just decided maybe if I went the court way might would stand a chance, knew I could go after their banking acct or garnishment if the courts on my side and it turned out that way. The price they owe me has gone up over $100 just for my court costs and now they owe those in addition to what it was in the first place. The courthouse steps is the way the county does where I purchased the furniture. We could have it at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, just as long as I retrieve what is owed.
I agree! Read Devil Wears Prada
before it became a hit movie. Glad I'm not the only one who likes that kind of stuff. :)
there is a patient advocate or ombudsman in every state...
whose job it is to deal with things like this. the nursing home can give you the number and it MUST be posted somewhere. If you ask for this number, chances are, they will find the ring if at all possible because they do NOT want to deal with this type of mess, but you should definitely get in contact with him.
I am a CASA (court appointed special advocate) and I personally see nothing (sm)
wrong with mothers working at home while their children are there. For goodness sake, the mother can get up and check on them, the children can come to mommy with a problem. They are not unattended. If I were investigating a case as a possible neglect situation where the children were at home with mom working I would have to laugh.
I have seen many more neglectful moms who were doing nothing, I mean nothing except talking on the phone, watching soaps, napping, engaging in all sorts of sexual behaviors, using drugs or alcohol, etc. These parents are by far the more neglectful and causing more harm to their children.
The children of MTs are observing mom multi-task and yet they still have the advantage of having her there to break up an argument, put on a bandaid, etc.
With all the horror stories of day care anymore how can you even suggest they are harming their children.
How to get my CD to play
Okay fellow MTers, need some help on this. Have just gotten a new CD today from high school reunion and don't have a clue as to how to play on my PC. Insert it, blinks and nothing happens. What do I do next? Thanks in advance.
You should be able to play in on the DVD...
and record it on the VHS if it is both player and recorder.
I would play..
in the symphony or else would own a zoo, the only thing being at the zoo the animals would live forever, those are my fantasies.
I don't know how it will play out but (sm)
I'm so glad he's back!! (and as himself, not as Victor, Jr. which I was afraid of).
That won't play for me.
.
play. Cat or dog?
x
How do you play this? It looks like fun!
nm
Ah, I get it - let's play WHO GETS THE LAST WORD!
LMAO!!!!
Go ahead and take your little victory for the day - I know you're just itching to.
Can't wait to see your reply - and thank you for proving me correct in advance!
LMAO!!!!!
does he play sports?
Which sports does he like? Does he need equipment?
I would play it cool
If it's meant to be, it will happen.
You're not really sure he is interested. Your gut tells you he is, and he probably is, but if he is, he will definitely make the moves.
If you act to eager... well...
And, if you do call and he was just being nice with his note, then you'll feel silly (however, I'm thinking a handwritten note is pretty personal).
There are ways to let him know you're interested. Just a look works on must guys ;-).
Also, be sure he's not hitched as well!
Seriously, be patient. Just do a lot of "thinking" about him. He'll catch those vibes too, trust me!
Good luck, sweetie.
Don't play games (SM)
If you change the way you have approached this relationship just to test him, that is playing games and is unecessary.
You should be honest and ask him explaining that it kinda bothers you. If you can't communicate about things, the relationship isn't going anywhere anyhow.
Not calling him just to see how he will react is so high school people!
I'll play
Marriage - Great.
Lack of kids - I regret not having the energy, interest, selflessness, or hope and faith to have kids, but I have never felt the need to have kids. I think you are supposed to see your mom enjoying motherhood, and it appeared to me to be very unsatisfying for my mom. I can still remember the switch from playing with baby dolls to playing with stuffed animals instead.
Help with play date
About a month ago my I took my 5 yo swimming and invited one of her friends and her mom. The two girls played for a good 2 hours until another one of dd close friends showed up so she started playing with him. Well this upset dd little girl friend and she came to me saying "dd won't play with me. make her play with me. " I called dd over and said that we invited suzie over so introduce her to Joe and you all three play together. This just upset dd and made her mad at suzie. I was not sure what to do but suzie's mom said it was time to go anyway so they left.
Well, just yesterday MIL took me and dd golfing. DD met another friend and together they played. The went across the street to the playground then a friend of the other little girl showed up. Well, the other little girl dropped dd and started playing with her little friend. DD got upset adn said sandy won't play with me. I said well, I image you're feeling what Suzie felt when Joe came to the pool. DD just sat there mad. MIL said Introduce yourself to the other little girl. DD did not want to do that. Then MIL said well lets go play on the slide. DD went and played but she was still upset, she walked up to Sandy and said "I am not playing with you anymore not even at school." Sandy replys, "That is okay, I have a sister to play with." MIL told dd not to talk to Sandyl that she wasn't worth it and out loud too. (Luckily Sandy's parents were not there). I just said Oh MIL. I started talking to Sandy. I asked her if she was ready for school. Sandy and I had a nice little conversation. It kind of broke the tension between them. I am sure all is forgotten by now.
I was just wondering how other parents handle these situations. TIA
does anybody play Peggle?
I bought the full version. It's such an original game!!!
Sure, let them play the lottery..
Then, I think they should have to compensate their victims for the rest of their lives for all the heck they went through and will go through. If they don't want to do that then they shouldnt be allowed to play the lottery. They are criminals.
See link - play JM on your CPU
http://everythingoldisnew.wordpress.com/2008/06/05/a-night-to-remember-johnny-mathis-2008/
We did this play when I was in college sm
I was doing props and even backstage I had to be careful not to get too emotional about it or I would miss my cue. And that scene in the movie in the cemetary just makes me bawl. When I was 10, my aunt and 3-year-old cousin were killed in a car accident, and that movie always makes me think of her and her other child, who survived the accident. He is in his 20s now.
I play piano............. sm
but I think that would be a bit heavy around my neck!
This is really nice. You do good work. Have you considered putting it on Etsy?
Happy Anniversary!
100% in accordance with you, our parents did not play
when it came to things like this. There are not that many kids who have medical issues to have to do this on a constant basis. I once had a child eating at my home that wanted to slurp their food and they were sent out to eat on the porch. I do not put up with this. I call to your attention and if you want to continue, then you suffer the consequences. How dare parents take up for this kind of action. This is why all these nanny shows on on today, how to handle the kids. Shame on all of you who uphold this behavior.
I think you're right - I did tell them not to play that way anymore (sm)
I told them they could hurt her and that they can't play rough with her like they do with me. I do wish she would understand that they are kids though. They haven't intentionally been mean and if they were, they would be in trouble!
Play luau BINGO
Use regular bingo cards and hawaiian colored markers - or pieces. Play for don ho recordings, leis, and coconuts
We play the dictionary game. (sm)
You can buy it, but all you really need is a dictionary, pieces of paper and pencils, and a bunch of people who are good at making stuff up.
The way we play it, not only does the person who chose the word and tricks people get points for each person he tricks, but anybody whose wrong answer gets voted for collects points too. It's hilarious.
We play also but call it Turkey Leg. It really is fun. nm
!
he wants your attention; take an hour and play with him
nm
I think that's what happens when you play a "role" geared toward sm
satanic principles. He was filming the new Batman and played the Joker who was a murderer, satanic, without a conscience. It was said that Heath really took this role personally - keeping him up at night, only sleeping 2 hours a night because of nightmares and constantly "thinking about the role." He overdosed on sleeping pills.
Drat, there goes again, cant play video(EOM)
,
Iced Tea. Work or play.
x
Can a kid with really bad eyesight play football?
My boy, Eddie, is seven years old. He has retinitis pigmentosa and gradually worsening decreasing vision. His vision without glasses is 20/200 and best corrected is 20/60. He does pretty well with baseball, especially after he had the bilateral rectus recession surgery and now both eyes are working together.
Tomorrow, however, is supposed to be football sign-ups, and I've been going back and forth about getting him involved or not. He's not all the way sure if he wants to do it either. I talked to some moms today, and they explained to me how grueling this five-day course of "conditioning" is. They described to me that most kids throw up from being overworked and go home crying. Doesn't sound like the best way for me to spend $45. He's not the toughest kid on the block, or any block for that matter, and I really don't know which way to go here. Any advice, football moms?
If he can play baseball with his vision...
he can play football with it. You need to see better for baseball.
Trust me, they don't have to be tough to play football. The first couple times they get hit, you can see how scared they are. Then the actually realize those pads really DO stop it from hurting...and some of our littlest ones turns into the most aggressive ones.
Football is hard work though, and the training is more difficult than the other sports. My husband coaches baseball, basketball and football for kids (12 and under). They do work a lot harder and they're pretty exhausted after football, but if it really is to the point where they are all throwing up and crying, you have bigger worries. You need a new program director!! I know that's not what you're asking about, but that's just not right for kids that young to be worked that hard. How can they possibly learn to love the sport from that?
Dr. Feel here, (not really a dr just play one on this forum)...sm
The only true advice I can give you without knowing you and your situation personally is if you love this man and it is a good marriage, talk to him and figure out the problem. Don't waste time being mad over something that does not involve you and him, or fix what is wrong if it does. My husband, whom I had been with for 20 years, was killed a little less than 2 years ago, and I would give just about anything to have him here to argue with about those sillly things in life or even the really important things.
I'm so clueless, I wanna play......how??? :( nm
nm
I saw a VERY sportsmanship play by the Steelers.
nm
As I said if you cannot play nice don't bother - sm
to comment.....I know I did a lot of things wrong...don't need salt poured in my wounds.
Is this a play on words from Auntie Em from Wizard of Oz?
nm
Two can play their game. Start nagging them.
Call them daily. Ask to speak to supervisor, then their supervisor, etc. You become the pest. It's not easy, but it may work.
You could hire an attorney, but try the above first. Good luck.
Onto NY Eve - do we go out, host a party, or play it dull
s
Ms. Mary Mack!! My kids still play that one!
And they run up to the ice cream truck still and there is a sponge bob ice cream with gum ball eyes or something. Davy Jones! I still have a crush on him, my sis-in-law is president of his fan club, and she got to meet him at Disney once (sounds like Brady Bunch's Marcia). LOL. You are right, things have gotten stressful. But then again, I remember my dad talking about WWI and the depression and having to deliver blocks of ice to people. Though, it seems to me even there were hard times then, people seemed to still be happier than we are today. Seems like things changed after 911, at least to me. I try to keep my kids sheltered (I know that is terrible), but my 7 year old is in love with girls, my 8 year old knows all the pirate words already and all 3 of my kids including the 10 year old could probably tell me things I did not even want to know until the third year of college. My goodness! I am sounding like gasp, My Mother! LOL.
Quit Smoking and Don't Play The Lottery!!!
//
just go, forget this child play and really, really enjoy ----
yourself without him. He'll change his tune.
If you allow this behavior and kiss pratt for it - you'll have to do that whatever and whenever the whim suits him.
agree with other poster - he he can't put himself aside for a couple of hours for your sake and the sake of the whole family...then it is he the problem.
honestly, I would risk it and play dumb. sm
I can only say that because this is anonymous. I can't do that in my case because what I have will not go away. However, I think she was haphazardly diagnosed and I would not just accept the consequences of someone else's negligence. I would skip listing that doc and list my prior doc and if it ever came up I would say I didn't know I was diagnosed with it.
Beliefs, those do not even play into any of this warped thread
I just believe in what I think, no amount of reading could ever change my mind because I have seen for myself, not something I have read- seen as in children crying trying to urinate, trying to get the prepuce pulled back, hurting and yelling. You are ridiculous.
Love Ray Price's version if you play
x
Oh goody, a chance to play doctor....
Do you have high blood pressure? Have you increased the salt in your diet lately?
I take a water pill, have done so for most of the last 12 years. I was started on it for hand swelling actually (and high BP), but the last couple years, I've had leg swelling when I forget to take it.
Mostly, I think some level of mild leg swelling comes with age. Anything that causes you to need bigger shoes isn't mild though. That would be the point where I stop playing doctor and point you to a real one.
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