Just my observation..........sm

Posted By: LMT on 2008-01-26
In Reply to: Friend - blondie

First of all, I noticed you said the baby was just born 8 days ago, but also said the husband took off for 2 weeks. Are you positive he is back to work by now? I really see where she could be withdrawing due to the clubbed feet and embarrassment as the others stated, but at the same time she knows you know about that so why would she avoid you because of it? She is experiencing some extreme let down that her baby is not "normal" in the life we know of having a good, healthy, non-malformed baby and wanting to share and show off our baby; not that her baby isn't normal in our eyes, but in hers her baby is not perfect and that is very upsetting and embarrassing to her until she learns to deal with it and accept it. Just FYI in case you don't know though, clubbed feet is very common in Down syndrome; is that a possibility? I would say the news or the site that her baby has clubbed feet in itself could definitely set in postpartum depression. I would suggest and talk to her mom about it who is closest to her. I would call and ask to speak directly to her and not leave a message for her to call back. If you get no where with that, either cook a meal for them and take it over hoping to get a chance to see her and baby or pick up a gift for mom and baby and take it by and try to visit with them. If you don't want to do those, definitely send her a card letting her know you care and hope she is feeling up to a visit soon. I also wonder if maybe she wonders why you haven't called in the 8 days to check on her? Maybe having the baby is more important than the normal of you not calling when her husband is around and she wonders why you haven't called. Just my 2 cents.

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Friend - blondie
- I was so tired after my children were born (sm) - I was Depressed & Tired too
- Usually PPD onset is after 2-3 weeks of delivery. sm - MT nursing student
- Take this from me. Leave her alone. Seriously. She will come to you sm - I almost died from PPD
  - Thank you for the info... - blondie
- Is this your friend's first child?...sm - cat
  - Yes, first child....nm - blondie
- Put yourself in her shoes SM - let her be
- You sign yourself as friend, ok if so - Thinker
  - friend... - blondie
    - I think a card is a good idea to let her know you are there for her when she is - PPD almost killed me
      - OHG!!... - blondie
        Should be OMG!!LOL!...nm - blondie
  - I agree and another possible reason --sm - ks
    - no not the case... - blondie
      - I went through that. . - sm
- Just my observation..........sm - LMT
  - She was in hospital almost a week before she had him... - blondie
    - It sounds like she has told her mom she sm - LMT
      - I too believe ... - blondie
        At least you are trying - AgingMT
        One more time....This is not about you. None of this. She has other priorities right now. nm - LeifG
- could be - jlynn
  - Even postpartum depression. - AgingMT
    - Clarifying my suggestion - AgingMT
    - I want to tell you about what you have suggested - Sympathy?
      - not a sympathy card... - blondie
        How do you know what she needs? - Sympathy?
        I was just saying I think it would be out of line also to send her a sympathy card... - blondie
        IMO a card would not be out of order at all. Except a sympathy card, of course. - tnmt
        I got a card at Christmas that I did not open - Sympathy?
        Yeah, well, I was wrong and the card sender was out some postage - tnmt
        What a B****! - blondie
        I see from your answer why the friend is putting you off. - Friend?
        I have never acted like I did on that post with my friend because she has never been rude like that - blondie
        The post above you was right - Private person
        Mind my business? - blondie
        Give her a break. - LinK
- either postpartum depression or embarrassed/guilt - lessMT
  - She does seem embarrassed by it... - blondie
    - It's not you sm - Starving Artist

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observation
Sounds like a good time to call mom and get some tips.