Just an update on my Social Worker visit.
Posted By: AnonMT on 2009-05-11
In Reply to:
No one has come by yet, but it's only Monday, but I did get the house cleaned with the help of my son, his girlfriend, and two of his friends. I took the advice below about shuffling all my ex-husband's junk to the garage. He has a fixer upper car in the garage anyway, so I just piled stuff around it, on top of it, and in it. The garage is a complete mess, but we don't live in there, so whatever. My son and his buddies cleaned up outside the house too. We had about 10 bags of trash for the trash truck this morning, but they took every one of them. Thank goodness!!
I'm way more calmer now than I was on Friday when all this crap broke loose. Thanks to everyone for calming me down. I'm ready now for when the social worker stops by. I saw another officer over the weekend at the gas station and he asked me about my situation, asked me if my ex was ever served and then told me that he was proud of me for finally getting rid of him and that he would talk to his boss about this whole "social services thing." He said his boss (who was the officer at my house on Friday) doesn't really know the ins and outs of the community like the officers do and he'd make sure he let him know that my ex is the one causing all the trouble.
So that made me feel better too. I just can't believe how ugly this is getting. I guess I'd better prepare myself because it will probably get worse before it gets better. The divorce is just beginning.
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Update on social worker from my post the other day (sm)
I posted the other day about where I had seen that social worker before, and couldn't find her on the cast list - wouldn't have helped if I had. I was watching Sally Field on the Boniva commercial and it popped into my head. Social worker was on that Boniva commercial where those 4 women were supposed to be being quiet in a museum. Isn't it funny how the brain works? - haha - especially mine.
The slain social worker one? nm
.
Do they by any chance have a social worker you...
could contact? That way, if the social worker stepped in no one in the family would really be so "involved" and it might save hard feelings further down the road but might have the same results.
What woman? What social worker?
We need a little more info to go on if anyone's going to try to help you out on this! You've got me intrigued, though! Lee
I just found out that social services will be paying me a visit and I am
freaking out! My estranged husband, on whom I have a restraining order, showed up at my house today, obviously he had been drinking. Long story short, one of my son's friends shows up, one that is not allowed at the house. I immediately sent the teenager away, but my husband proceeds to start raging about how he would run things if he were still living here. I then told him he could leave as well. That I kicked the teenager and I expected him to leave too. He refused and said he would leave if I gave him money because he needs to contribute groceries to his buddy with whom he is staying. He doesn't work and hasn't worked for much of our marriage. I told him if he wanted to help out his buddy, he should get a job. He came into the house, sat down on my couch and refused to leave until I gave him money.
My son called the police to enforce the restraining order. The police show up and while he is in their custody, he tells them that I have 10 to 14 teenagers in my house every day and that he doesn't feel that it is a good environment for our 8yo daughter. He tells there was marijuana in my house.
So now the police are telling me they have to file a report with family services because my house could be a hostile environment and they have to follow up on every complaint. The marijuana episode did happen; however, my daughter and I were not at home. My husband was still living at home at the time and caught my son and a couple of friends smoking it and instead of stopping them immediately and kicking everybody out, I was told that he took a hit off the joint. I was told that by all three kids whom I questioned separately. When I confronted my soon to be ex about this, his explanation was that he didn't take a hit, he put it up to his mouth and nose to smell to see if it really was pot. Still he did not put up fuss, punish our son, or kick anybody. Instead I find out about the pot from the sister of one of my son's girlfriend who told me because she was worried about her sister and she was the one who originally told me my husband took a hit.
Now, because my husband is angry that I have kicked him out and am filing for divorce, he is telling these lies and half truths to the cops and now I have to worry about getting visited from social services. I've been crying all evening and I'm wondering what I should expect. I have to clean my house from top to bottom, make sure this sucker shines and I guess not let my son have any friends over ever again!
I am so upset! I absolutely hate my ex-husband. I live in a rat hole as it because he has refused to work and he has junked up with all the crap he refuses to throw away. The man won't even through away magazines. I have stacks and stacks of magazines and newspapers that every time I've tried to throw out or recycle, he picked them out of the bins and brought them back into the house. Now I'm faced with this mountain of crap that I have deal with immediately before I get visited by the social worker.
I'm sorry to go on and on. I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed and I just want to curl up in a little ball and die. My kids are my life. I don't beat them, I feed them, I clothe them, I play with them, and have fun with them. They are the reason I work, the reason I breathe. The idea of having someone come into my home and question my fitness as a mother makes my physically ill.
You guys, thank you for continually listening to my saga. You guys gave me the strength to kick him out to begin with.
Update after doctor visit/youth council.
The doctor wants to try the Respirdal for another month and see if he gets any better, if the auditory hallucinations stop, etc. My son also gained 3 pounds in the last month. I'm not super worried about him gaining too much weight as he is an active kid but just one more thing to watch.
The youth council came up with my son's "punishment" for the theft, running away, fighting, etc. He has to write a paper. Not even a paper. He has to write 5 things that he likes about himself and 5 things he can do to improve his world. That's it. Oh wait, they also told him that he has to feed our pets without me reminding him. I've had it with the legal system. I'm making him do my own community service. They are talking this kid to death and basically teaching him that if he doesn't behave, they'll keep talking to him.
I'm at my breaking point with all the mental issues, but seriously...where is the punishment for kids. It's like the legal system over does it or doesn't do it at all. I need a nap now.
Thank you to everyone who e-mailed with concern for us. I really appreciate that there are so many strangers out there who care enough to reach out. 
I have been a much happier worker since...
....moving the bird feeders to in front of my office window! I just love watching them all and seeing what else comes out of the woods for some seed and suet. Lots of red squirrels and chippy's, the occasional cute grey mouse, and I guess even deer, but I never see THEM, just the tracks and the "raisinettes" around the feeder. Our neighbor gets tons of wild turkeys at her place, as well as racoons, flying squirrels, and skunks! She goes through about 50 pounds of black oil sunflower seeds as well as 25 pounds of dog chow (for the skunks, racoons, and larger critters) a week! Can you imagine?!
My other neighbor has a wild Merlin falcon (a girl named Helln Fury), who he caught and trained himself. Very cool bird. Can't say I've ever seen one 'round here but I guess they do exist, you just have to know what you're lookin' at when they are up in the air.
Love the wild critters and glad so many others on here appreciate them too!
what kind of worker?
Hi,
Thought the topic to interesting so wanted to reply. I chose my hours 6 p.m. to 2 p.m because my husband works steady 11 p to 7 a. He sleeps in the evening so thought it woud be a good time for me to work. Then when winter started, which is only noticeable by the light) I started 5 p to 1 a. Works out good for me and like it because I always have some work under my belt for the next day. Also, we get to have our days off together on Wed. and Thur. Working well so far. In summer will probably go back to 6 to 2 so I can swim.
Dear co-worker
Stop calling me Fifty million times a day. If I don't answer the phone I am not home, busy doing something, or I just don't want to talk to you. Also, when you call stop calling my name so many times. I know what my name is.
Your co worker Me
Dear Co-worker of DH
I realize that your shift starts at 5 am but I would appreciate it if you would not call the house at that time unless it is a real emergency. The last 4 times you have called with the same problem my dh told you the same answer....I'll fix it when I get in. It is not a problem. Buy a clue and stop interrupting what little sleep I get.
what type of worker
You need either the converter box or a new TV that by law has to have digital in it. I have a new TV and I scan the digital part of my TV. I get maybe one station every few days, so obviously I have the capability otherwise I would not get any digital TV. It is the reception as I live in a rural area. I do have to get a roof top antenna. I was wondering what type of worker does that? When I look in the yellow pages, all it has is satellite and cable, nothing about antenna installers. I was wondering can just a handy man that I would hire install one or do I have to get an electric contractor to do it.
According the animal control worker..
We have one of the animal control worker's living across the street from us and she asked my son how Lily was doing tonight. He told her that she was coughing and she said that the dogs at Animal control all have kennel cough right now and to bring her out tomorrow for some medicine. I'm still just going to bring her to the vet because of her itching and all the mucous. I think I'll just go over to her house if I have any more questions about Lily.
Lily is probably stressed with all her new changes, but other than throwing up, itching and coughing, she seems to feel right at home. We bought her a big cushion for a bed and when I put the boys to bed at night, she goes to bed in her bed too. Anyhoo...thanks again for the support. I'll update after the vet tomorrow.
I have a co-worker that insists on telling me
I'm killing myself. I told him the Dr. said my grandmother may have lived longer if she had quit. He asked how old she was - I told him 93. Now he shuts up most of the time.
Dear Retail Worker
Do you know the reason I get upset about verifying my driver's license when I give you my credit card is because it is actually against the law to ask to see the license after presenting my card? Check it out!
Dear Retail Worker:
As a customer who used her charge card and had her identity stolen by the employee...BITE ME.
Unless you are a food stamp eligibility worker....
x
Food stamp eligibility worker, not!
I am not a worker in food stamps but I definitely in the past have known of several people getting food stamps that should not- one being my housekeeper- one being my deceased husband's daughter- both knew the system and "how to work it," cared nothing about having a real job, and just in for the handouts. Get this- my housekeeper had twin sons (grown now)- she got welfare for them, her sister claimed them on income taxes for years - I would call that double dipping. Oh, the daughter got welfare, food stamps, section 8 housing, all the freebies and lived with a guy who worked for the city making good money. You don’t have to be a eligibility worker to have seen this going on. Oh, by the way, when I called internal revenue several times to tell them about things, do you think they wanted to talk with me?? I don’t think so.
Well I am early morning and evening worker
My body just does better and so I tell myself it is okay. I go strong from 5 to 11, out to deliver, back and then work 1 to 3 at a clinic, back home and then 7 to 9 sometimes later. Before I had the clinic I still took afternoons off as I am not a good producer in the afternoon and so I worked from 6 to 11 and then 6 to 9 or so. But I have my own accounts and can let me body dictate when my productive times are.
Dear retail worker--Thank you for checking...
my ID. So few clerks actually do and I appreciate those who would not let someone use my card should it be lost or stolen.
Don't want you to feel bad!! You're our funniest "co-worker" LOL (sm)
How long have you been transcribing? I seem to know a lot of transcriptionists, including myself, who have had these types of symptoms. Doctor told me the same thing once - wonder if it is from lack of movement or constant computer exposure?
Wal-Mart worker dies after shoppers knock him down
just read about it online. people are jerks. I can remember one time being in a line for ice cream at a fair, a very long line, and the person behind me was pushed right up against me. If anything like that ever happens again, i will turn around and says, keep your freakin boobs off me, you weirdie.
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
Sounds like the daycare worker is telling you what you should notice
This is not being a busybody but a change and she is asking if something might be changed in the home. I think she is entirely in her right and should ask questions and you should not be paranoid in thinking she is asking about you. This is a crying child who is acting out of the ordinary and you ought to thank her and find out why the 3 is crying so much.
Social security
She will receive social security at a rate of 50% of what he receives as long as they have been married for 10 years. Am not sure if you can begin to collect this at age 6 or have to wait until 65 or 66. As far as medicare goes though, she is not eligible for this until she reaches 65/66 unless she is deemed disabled and not able to work and then she goes on SSI. Up to 3 wives-ex-wives can receive 50% of what the husband's social security allotment is without reduction but it never reduces the husband's amount. (as long as they have been married for 10 years). They did this so that all of the older ladies that never worked in the 40's 50's etc. could receive something when they retired as long as their husband was eligible. Now if he should die, she will receive more and that will stay in effect until she dies. With as expensive as Medicare and supplements are becoming it is no longer a deal to get Medicare and hardly any docs will take Medicare "only".
Patti
I know I'm a bit of a social oddball, but
I like to be upfront and lay things out on the table, so I would talk to her and let her know how I was feeling. This approach does not work well with everyone, surprisingly to me . . . LOL. Most people say they want that, but it does not seem to hold true. Personally, I do not see how relationships work without complete honesty.
I think that you would at least feel better if you talked to her. Good luck whatever you decide!
Do you get social security now and if so
how old when you started? I am past the age of starting but want to reach full retirement age for me so I can double dip.
Social Security
There is some reason that you should take Soc. Security when you are eligible. You can still work--I think up to a certain amount if you are younger than 65. At 65 you can make as much as you want. They say this is some kind of window--working right before or at the point of getting SS ultimately raises the amount. There is a five-year window that is important. I suggest you get some info from the SS office or a local AARP office or Senior info. I have come back from "retirement" so I am facing these same things. Oh, and by the way. You--my sister (and occasionally brother) MTs--My People--you are all just as crazy as you always were. And thankfully! This message board did not exist the last time I did MT. Cool!
social animals
Rodents, rats especially, are very very social animals and are intelligent and desire human contact. I've had 6 diff rats, all are passed away now cause they only last a few years, but they are very playful and will play with you and like to be held, petted and carried around. The more you do that the more friendly they get!
Have fun!
social services should be contacted
to look at this family. It might be futile, but good grief, something needs to happen. That is unreal, beyond bizarre.
My daughter was a very social butterfly
nm
Check social services
your local salvation army, cancer center, and local hospitals. THERE IS HELP for you without insurance. Please don't give up. There are options. It just takes a little research and if you are working from home you must have the internet. I know things seem bad, but they could always get worse. Sometimes I need to remind myself of that to get out of bed in the morning.
I have 5. All MTs. I would like a broader social circle
xx
Social Services Visiting
The main thing I'd say is to remain calm and explain to the investigator like you did here. Their job is to sort out the truth from the fiction. I was investigated once because my MTSO made false accusations about me to the police.
I had to answer questions I didn't enjoy but when the interview was over the investigator was done she told me she believed me and I had nothing to worry about, but if the accuser made another call they'd file harassment charges against me.
The truth is the truth and they'll sort it out. Patience will serve you well.
I am going to visit my mom...
I work Wed-Sun, so I will be off tomorrow. So, my daughter is going to take me to visit my mom who lives approx.2 hours away. I am really looking forward to my visit. She is a beautiful lady. She has Alzheimer's plus some other things going on, but when she is here mentally, I enjoy every moment, down to the twinkle in her eye.
Why was the post on social isolation deleted??
I was going to post a response to this and see the thread is gone! It was just posted a few minutes ago and I'm wondering what happened here.
I think that constitute abuse! Dogs are very social - sm
animals, and their human families are their *pack*. That poor dog is bored and lonely. It's crying proves that food and water alone are not enough to nourish an intelligent, social animal like a little Sheltie. I would tip off animal control. I'm sure it can be done annonymously. If the dog is confiscated, you can help it out by looking for a Sheltie-rescue in your area, and if not, possibly a regular animal rescue group. If she's healthy & has a good temperament, they may pull her from the shelter and foster her 'til someone can adopt her.
Or -- if that sounds too drastic, if you know the other people are gone, why not climb the fence into her backyard, and befriend & play with the dog? That would be better than nothing, although it sounds like the best option would be to find that dog a new family.
Can anyone tell me that is on social security how they figure how much to deduct if you go over what
you are allowed to make per month. I did speak to them but I just wondered if someone on here has done this at all.
retired homemaker for social history -
most of us know that would mean dead!!! Like Social Security comes in and does the dishes for us?
no but usually irresponsible people in poor social
yes I had one and i was all of the above!! Now i'm on Depo and don't have that problem anymore
I stay home!!! (I think I have social anxiety). nm
nm
People on social security who pay no taxes
got back as individual $600 each last time and I know for a fact as my 85 year old aunt was one of those.
When amount of this for social security people and when?
Do you have a link for this info, pls.
No free visit.
It was $75 to adopt her because they can't find a spay scar. I got a $10 certificate towards a rabies vaccination and $40 toward a spay.
I finally got her to eat some catfood, I know not the best thing in the world for her but I just wanted her to eat anything at this point.
I think she might be puking too from all the hair she's chewing off herself. I don't know how she's doing that. The bottom front teeth are broken down to the gum line and her top teeth are broken at different levels and she's missing one completely.
Hopefully whatever is going on is easily treatable.
C'mon visit us in NC
Hayseed, we've got daffodils, crocus, phlox, forsythia, tulip trees, Bradford pear trees blooming. The rest of the trees are budding. We're about 2 weeks from green. :-)
Come visit anytime you want!
visit to the other side
I was at a bridge and on the other side I saw people sitting on lush lawn and playing in the water, lots of laughter, etc. I was met by a spirit who said (telepathically) that I had things to do before I came in but that it was totally my decision to stay or return. I chose to return. That evening I told my doctor the whole story, from the moment the nurse told him I had passed to what they did to my body next and my experience on the other side. Needless to say, he was speechless. This was in 1964 and none of these experiences had been published yet.
Definitely a podiatrist visit
I had to take my daughter a few months ago and she had a severe case of athlete's foot. Her feet always stunk and then she complained that they hurt and they were peeling and cracking like crazy. The podiatrist said it would take months to clear up. Feet are nothing to fool around with. I'd definitely make an appointment.
visit letssaythanks.com
And send someone in the military a personalized free printed postcard. This would be totally cool if a bunch of us did this. Let's shower them with these very cute cards.
Tell your sister she can come visit, and tell him to
You can always get another spouse, but you can't get another sister.
Actually, the first visit was 4 hours.
The next two were 2 hours each, if that matters.
Well he doesn't even want to go visit his dad at all (sm)
asks me not to make him go. But he says he loves where we moved and part of the time he seems much happier. I think he just thought that when we moved there would be no rules. I will look into some counseling for him though. thanks
Like the Oriental rug one. Do you visit
aa
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