Just adopt the dog or MOVE. Seriously. What other choices do you have!!?????
Posted By: Oh goodness on 2007-09-23
In Reply to: A few weeks back I posted about calling the police s/m - Really need you help
nm
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As someone who hopes to adopt some day..
Thank you for the great ideas!
OK, to be fair. I know if you adopt one SM
you must keep it in the house. That's one of the rules for adoption.
When thinking about it (I'm talking about racing dogs now), they are trained to run after a rabbit(?), so, yes, they probably MIGHT run after creatures, should get out.
It's just the thought of those poor dogs put to death because they are of no use to their owners, is horrifying to me.
No, I'm not a member of PETA. LOL!
When I adopt my granddaughter in a couple of years
it is not going to make a difference to her dad - he could care less about her (literally). With my daughter, though, our relationship is already nonexistent so I don't think it could get any worse when I change her daughter's last name to my maiden name. She is more upset that the child has become accustomed to me being the one "playing" momma and calls me that sometimes. I don't refer to myself as "mamma" to my GD, but she choses it to use it from time to time. My daughter thinks she can spit out a kid, walk away from it, and still take all the credit for success at potty training, dance recitals, the child's extensive vocabulary...all the while not visiting, only calling once every few months, not paying court-ordered child support, send presents on special occasions...
A name is just a name. My 4 yo GD told my daughter she was going to call her "sissy" now instead of "momma." My daughter started crying and the child said, "don't cry. We'll find a way for all of us to be together somehow." Out of the mouths of babes. Think my daughter actually heard the child was saying she wanted all 3 of us to have a relationship? Nope. Too wrapped up in herself to listen.
I think people overreact to names. I think it is the relationship that counts, and if the family of Heartbroken doesn't see that, it is the child's loss and that is who I feel sorry for.
CHOICES
If you stay together what will it be like when the kids are gone? Will you be happy with him then? How old will you be then? Will there be a reason to stay with him then? Make two lists, one of all the reasons you should stay, one of all the reasons you should go. Make two more lists, one of all his good qualities, one of all his bad qualities. Put them in a drawer and get them out in a week and see if you feel the same about what you wrote. One other thing, did he have a girlfriend this time? Does he this time? Major cheater? If those last three are true then go home where there are people you can trust who are there for you no matter what. Work, take care of your children and enjoy them. Go to church, go to movies. Have a life. You could go to Marriage Encounter and I recommend it, but if he is a cheater and makes no solid committment to stopping then you need to consider this. What your children see you do now will stay with them and they will live their lives accordingly. I will pray for you. Save your money too because you never know when you may need to move your teepee to a new village.
You have a few choices -
Either learn to deal with it, meaning shut up or put up, or move. I think I would vote for the latter. There has got to be a better place to live than that drama factory. Life is too short!!!
Good choices
Some of the higher-paying career courses that may be available to many people in a 2-year or less course are:
Dental hygiene
Occupational therapist assistant
Physical therapist assistant
Surgical technologist
Lab tech
Coding (not the right choice for me, but for only about $4000 you could get job that pays very well and be in high demand).
Those tend to pay more than these below, and therefore a better investment than:
Medical assistant (may be a 9-month course or 2-year)
phlebotomist (but may be a 3-month course)
Your choices are to either be proactive and do something...
positive about your situation, which IMHO is to leave this mess or continue to live this sorry life and whine about it..in that case you are not a victim but an enabler and a contributor. Would you want your daughter to live like this? Would you want your son to treat his wife like this?
matter of choices
It's not just about protecting our children from being taught something that is wrong, something that goes against our moral fiber, something that this great country was founded on, our belief in God. It is also about standing up for our beliefs and not condoning something that is clearly sinful. You may not believe there is a God yet. That is your opinion. What makes you think that you were right in letting your child watch anything she wanted? So she turned out good. So did my children and they were raised to believe in God and his son Jesus Christ. The only difference is, when the time comes for Jesus to come back to this earth, your daughter will find that she has been cheated by being taught there is no God and perhaps will find herself in some serious trouble.
The kids may like those choices
but I don't think they're all that healthy. The salads and baked potatoes are good and probably the spaghetti, but everything else I would worry about. The Chic-Fila delivery is nice but probably should only be once a month. It's not just what these kids are eating in school; it's that most of them don't get a nutritional meal at home.
Fashion choices........ sm
My cousin and I were in a discussion this weekend and the topic came up about how so many younger people today are wearing their clothes way too tight and about 2-3 sizes too small. You know the tight tops, cut WAY too low, the too tight jeans, tops to short. On top of that, most of the offenders are way overweight!
Anyone have any comments about this? I see it all the time even in some in my own extended family. Jeans too tight, shirts too low, top nearly hanging out. They all look like clones. Not to mention the short tops wtih the "muffin top" hanging over the blue jeans! When did this get to be the fashion and the way to dress? It seems the style these days. I don't care what size a person is, big, little, in between, I think it looks terrible. Don't know how people breathe in these too tight clothes!
Any dialogue/comments out there?
current and past choices
Current: NCIS, Mad Men, Damages
Past: West Wing, Will & Grace, M*A*S*H, Shark, Golden Girls
Thanks for some good choices - I've seen some of these mentioned but
will definitely check out the others. Thank you!
Fair question. I have made choices in my life that sm
afford me to stay at home and work. When I say refuse, yes, I refuse to put my children in childcare because I can do so. I can choose to take them to a daycare provider, but i want to be their sole providers and protector always. I can do that. It is a luxury.
Now, do I look down upon moms and dads who use childcare? Absolutely not. My heart breaks for those moms who want to be at home with their children but for unforeseen circumstances they just can't. I understand that if I was in another situation where I couldn't work from home then they would be somewhere else, but then if that was the way it was I would not have had kids. My kids are 5 and 2. I've been doing MT for 9 years from home. So, you can do the math there.
We all have a free will and have to make choices every single day. Christian or not. sm
I am a devout Christian, believe in God 100%, but I must make good decisions every single day with regard to my health, family, finances, self, etc. You can't place blame on anyone (including God or others) when you continually make bad choices and bad things happen. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. That rule works for non Christians too!
God is there to help us when we mess up. He's always there. An ever-present help in trouble. That's a comforting thought. God didn't want their water to be turned off. He doesn't wish for anything bad to happen to us, but just as if we have adult grown children we will allow them to go through certain things so that they might learn and grow. God does that with us, too!
You reap whatever you sow. I think most of the time it is our own choices and bad decisions that get us into hot water. Too many people cry foul when things go bad and not take responsibility. It's time for people to start growing up and taking responsibility for their lives and decisions. I was homeless at one time and have had a very hard life, so this isn't coming from someone who was given a silver spoon.
Move to TX
Then come June if they are on your property - well let's just say that the law will be on your side in whatever you choose to do to them. Right now you can't do much unless you are threatened, but come June - with the new gun law - well, I think you get the point. I think some mace or pepper spray would be in order for them - or maybe just get the waterhose and spray them with that - it would probably teach them to walk to school by another route.
...and move on. nm
s
Please get over this guy and move on. You need to end
xx
Move on...you said yourself...
you don't feel anything for him. Also, anger management is a joke, a bunch of (mostly) guys sitting around discussing their feelings about women and just getting angrier! I had a boyfriend who had to go also, quit after 3 sessions, said he didn't need it either. Took me 8 years to finally say enough was enough. Move on, your life is too short and you deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Let him be a problem for someone else to fret about.
I think you have to move them
I'd make a little nest out of an old towel, handle them as little as possible, put them in the towel and move the towel nest some place more suitable. I've moved a litter already, but the mother cat moved them again, so don't be surprised if where you put them doesn't suit her. Make sure she watches where you put them and try to pet her so your smell is on her as well as the kittens.
Why did she move? Don't tell me she got
NC move
Moved to NC about 10 years ago from Orlando, FL. I love it here but have found the taxes to be awful. I'm wishing now I would have moved to Tennessee or Texas. I live in a small town 40 miles from Charlotte and close to the SC border. Gas in SC is usually 8 to 10 cents per gallon cheaper. I know that most of the graduates from the colleges in Raleigh stay in the area so it must be a nice place to live.
I used that when looking to move
It's a great tool to virtually scope out a neighborhood before bothering oneself to go check out a listing!
Are you sure the roommate wants you to move?
Maybe it is just an idea that his boyfriend had. He really is not the one to tell you the news, it should have been the roommate. So I'm wondering if the roommate even even knows about it, or if the boyfriend is trying to make arrangements to move in on his own.
Some folks just can't stand any confrontation, even what it would have taken for your roommate to tell you about these future plans. If he has never done anything to hurt you before, I would think you could just accept it, and try to maintain your friendship. If he knows about it, and if he agreed to have the boyfriend tell you, he probably just could not think of any other solution to the problem, other than having his boyfriend tell you, because he did not want to be the one to hurt you. He probably wasn't thinking about "friendship etiquette" (i.e. being the one to give you the bad news himself) at all.
I hope you find a nice place to live.
I would not move back, either--sm
It is nice to help and it sounds as though FIL may need it, but with the others there, you would be *caring* for more than just your FIL and that would be too much stress. Perhaps, if it can be afforded, a home care nurse for a while, until he is back up to caring for his own needs. It is up to him to remove the others from his house, but I surely would not move in there...until they were gone...JMO. Good luck
I wish they would move ALL the messages.
Basically, I said try getting an OT to evaluate your work area. I did and it helped a lot.
We had new neighbors move in who
had a similar theory about what was acceptable.
They had a habit walking into their neighbors houses without knocking. My parents were too polite to say anything, so they were clueless that they found it appalling. We didn't normally lock the doors when we were home, but to keep them out, we kids started locking them when everybody was inside, just to befuddle the barging-in neighbors. One time my dad had been working in the yard, and he was doing his usual change out of his work pants at the back door. He had privacy because he would announce he was changing, and close the door at the top of the stairs so that he had closed doors on 3 sides (door to garage, closed back door, closed door into rest of house, and open doorway into the unfinished basement. The clueless new neighborgirl decided to have a visit, came thru the open (big) garage door and opened the door into the house, where my dad stood, crouching with pants around his ankles. Oh the bellow that came out of him!
That new neighborgirl did drop by and barge in quite so often after that ...
Will probably move a few times
I get bored easily and do not like being in the same place for a long time. Been here for 10 years and just waiting for youngest to go to college in 3 years so I can move. I want to move to NYC area for a few years because right now I live in a rural area and am going crazy. After NYC would like to maybe move out West for a while and then maybe back to Eastern seaboard.
Honestly, what I think is you need to move (sm)
I know it sounds drastic but this is your son's wellbeing and future you are talking about. You need to move away from your abusive ridiculous brother-in-law. Your son has no father figure, and his uncle is a big jerk who should be in jail if he slams his kids around. I don't care if you have to rent a crummy apartment somewhere, but I would get my kid the heck out of there and let him know I am 100% on his side and just trying to give him the best future I can because I love him.
The move I remembered most was
that one where they take that foot, perhaps fresh from the litter pan, and pat your sleeping face with it. It's like they know!
Can't seem to move on after divorce
I'm divorced now for quite a few years and have just had absolutely no interest in dating. I have 2 children (older) and bringing men into their lives in any capacity has never sat right with me, yet I'm lonely. My ex has moved on (in a new relationship) and unfortunately I have to be around them during kid's functions. It's not that I'm pining for my ex. I just miss being a family unit. I sought a little counseling but it didn't help. I'd appreciate any advice anyone might have who has been in a similar situation.
Before you move to the country
Try animal control. They will usually issue a warning first time second time they will issue a citation..If you have kids the country is a really boring place to grow up...I was out in the country until my divorce and moved into a great neighborhood with lots of kids...Best thing I ever did for my kids and myself..
Have you ever just wanted to move?...sm
Have things ever gotten so fustrating dealing with the same ole $hit so much from the same people that you said gosh, I would love to just pack up and move far away. If I had the money to move I know I would. Am I the only one?
I would love to live in Pennslyvania or Virginia.
I have learned to move on.
I gave both my kids everything including all the love I could, taught them the right way to treat people, cherished them beyond belief, worked hard to give them what they needed growing up (just me raising them, divorced). In talking with DH yesterday I really do not feel that either 1 of the kids loves me like they should. I do not see nor talk with my son now due to a falling out we had in 2005 and my girl, well she is a me type, all about her. If you cannot change things, just learn how to live with them the way they are or wish them well in their lives.
It could also just be a story to make the move look bad.
nm
Cut your losses, keep it cordial, and move on.
x
Maybe it is time to cut your losses and move on?
I had a friend such as that and finally just had to quit being such a good friend to her. My friend was literally sucking the life from me with her endless problems and drama, AND she was not there for me when I needed someone. Best of luck...
Did you grow up in 1 town or move...sm
and if you moved, how often and are you glad you moved? As for me, we moved every other year due to my father's occupation. There were 2 places I was very glad that we moved from and 2 places I would have loved to have stayed, the others were OK. When people ask me where I was raised I tell them "everywhere" because that best summarizes it.
What about you? Do you have a home town?
I move 3 times in my life...
When I was 2, I moved from one small town to another 2 miles apart. From there, my parents built a new house when I was in jr. high in the same town but off of the main street. From there I moved with my husband out side of the same town in a rural area. So, while I have moved, it hasn't been very far.  
Yep, husband been in funk ever since that move.
ja;jd
I'd move to London, England! nm
X
Do you think you'll move at least 1 more time or
s
My husband refuses to move (sm)
My husband and I bought this house 10 years ago - it is almost 50 years old. We talked about our intentions of remodeling - I didn't know he meant over a lifetime. We have not even painted all of the rooms yet, much less fixed the sagging floors or termite-eaten pantry. The house is too small for our family now as well, is on very busy road, and there are no children around for my kids to play with. On the positive side it is in a good area and we have a very large yard. I have been asking to move however, since about a year after we bought the place. Instead, he has insisted that we are now here for life. He has built himself a barn, dog pens, chicken coops, etc. and enjoys practicing shooting out in the yard with his hunting dog, when he is home and not out hunting or fishing. He is an educated engineer and has a very good job, and I had no idea that he would end up being such an avid hunter. I met him in another state and he did none of this back then - I dated him for 5 years before we got married, he only hunted about twice a year when he visited his dad. Then we moved back to his home state, NC, and it all spiraled from there. Our yard is full of rolls of wire, chicken pens, stinky dog pens and piles of wood and bricks. Our carport is filled with a camoflauge john boat, rubber waders and about 100 duck decoys. In the freezer are wings from ducks that he uses to practice his dogs with. My children and I would love to just live in a neighborhood and have other people to talk to and for the kids to play with. He says the kids only want to move because they have heard me say I want to move. He told me recently that if I really want to move to go ahead, without him. He will support me and the kids. He hopes to find a woman one day who "will like where I live." I have no say whatsoever and he doesn't even consider my opinion. He says "we can't afford to move" and this place is just the right distance from his job. Yet he asks me to take out a loan to add on to this house. He is willing to spend another $100,000 to add on to a house where no one else wants to live and says it is unfair for him to have to move just because we want to. Yet he will not take the same money (we have lots of equity) and just move us somewhere else. What would you do? Should I just stay here and make the best of it because this is where he wants to live? (I should add, if I want to buy anything to fix up the house, I have to pay for it, and if I have enough money to do that, he wonders why I am not responsible for more of the bills!)
Because I realized it was a bad decision to move here (sm)
I had just had a C-section, we lived in an apartment. He insisted that he do the house hunting. I was at home with my newborn and my c-section recovery. He fell in love with this house and told me all that we were going to do with it. I was worried the road might be too busy but he assured me it was not. I agreed. Then when I realized that I had to have room darkening shades on the windows at night to keep out the car lights and run a fan all night to drown out car noises, and that he wasn't going to fix the termite-eaten pantry or the sagging floor, yeah, I wanted to move. If you call that selfish then you come live here.
why dont you just move to Iran then?
???
you didn't ask them to move....you told them to....
nm
That is exactly what my SO says. Someone will run into you if you dont move faster and I am already
going 10 miles over the speed limit. I always say well why are they running up on top of me. They should not be tailing right behind. I just think men and women drive differently.
Use your mouse to move the cursor
up through the maze, all the way to the box at the end. Once you've done it without touching the sides, it'll progress to the next maze which is more difficult.
You too could move and have higher standard of
x
You need to move to a socialist company because that is what you are. Unfortunately, you sm
live in America where we all have the RIGHT to earn a living. You don't have a RIGHT to my or my husband's hard earned money. We put ourselves through college and if we make a million dollars a year YOU are not entitled to that money if you were poor. That is NOT a just society.
I grew up in the slums. I was told I would never amount to anything. I defied all odds. Went to college, made something for myself, married a college graduate and we are living comfortably. Anyone can do it. I get very ill when I hear of these "entitlement" speeches about how people like YOU think that my money should go to others in society. Give me a break. It's people like you who really don't amount to much because you just rely on others to pay your way. So sad.
Guess work, I think she wants to move here
or up in Amarillo with her sister. She told me to save my newspapers because she is going to start packing. I said "pack what?" she said my "whatnots" I asked "where are you going?" she said she is looking for a place. She doesn't know where. Her house is falling down around her. (it really is but the last time H and I talked to her about it she started boo hooing.). She also wants to take my 6 year old with her to Amarillo this summar because she doesn't want to travel alone so she may look up there. I asked how long she planned to stay (because she will have my daughter) but she did not really give me an answer. My take is that she really has not made detailed plans yet she just wants to go. She is disappointed with gas being so high though and she is afraid she won't be able to. I guess with a person like that, one has to be patient. She is so indecisive, H is the same way and it is so frustrating because I am the type that likes to know what to expect. LOL .
For your health, I hope you move
Not be a smart@ss, but if there's nothing you can do legally, you really should move. For the amount of money you've spent on filters for both her place and yours, you could have probably gotten another place. I don't know where you live or whether you have a rent-controlled apartment, but none of that will matter if you're dead. It's time to start checking the classifieds.
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