Its a no..turned down...not a chance
Posted By: Vent on 2009-05-06
In Reply to:
I had my meeting yesterday afternoon with my lawyer. Although I am clearly disabled I fall threw the disability loop holes. There are 2 types you can sign up for. The first you must have worked 10 years consecutively. I worked when I was first married and then when we had kids I stayed home with them until they started school and then went back to work as a substitute teacher. I had worked 9 years consecutively and had a stroke so I am disqualified there.
The 2nd one you have to have not worked or be low income. Low income meaning a little over $900.00 a month for dh and I. Kiddos don't qualify as dependants since they are over 18 or the income level would be higher. We are low income but not that low for the 2 of us. The only thing you can own is your home and one vehicle. We own our home and 3...the old truck we are trying to sale that might bring $500.00., the truck dh bought for $1000.00 and the car he inherited from his sis. Dh also inherited some land and some money from his sis. AND THEN there is the fact that dh and his sis had to put their dad's money in their names so they can pay for his care, power of attorney and all that, and although the money goes for ONLY his care and we use none of it it goes against my case.
So although I am disabled, in pain every single day of my life, I don't qualify for disability. Our income doesn't qualify us for Medicaid. Our income doesn't afford us insurance IF we could find someone that would cover me with all my health issues. I'm tired, defeated, exhausted, cried until I can't cry. I don't know how many knocks I can take.
I don't begrudge anyone health care...but how is it fair that I can't get it and its handed over to those that have never paid a dime in taxes? How is it fair that a convicted child molester will get his disability? (yes I know someone that is and will get his). I just don't get it. There needs to be decent affordable healthcare in this country for EVERY citizen. I'm not talking Socialized medicine. I'm talking decent affordable healthcare.
It should not cost $4000.00 for an ER visit and $500.00 for the doctor. Yes again that happened to me last summer. I would never have gone if I had not been doubled over in severe pain and my regular doctor sent me there. I left the ER with a huge bill, a prescription I could not afford to fill, and a huge bill I had to finish paying and I'm still paying. They made me pay $250.00 before I left the hospital. Another time when I fell and messed up my ankle my doctor sent me over there for an xray. My ankle was 3 or 4 times its size and they still made me pay for the xray before they would even do it. Something needs to be done with this crazy ridiculous business
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When I turned 30, that was my roughest, until I turned 40, which was my roughest until I turned 50 .
x
This may be your last chance, your only chance...
This may be the only chance--it may be the last chance for you to save your son.
My son started in with smoking pot and drinking alcohol at about the same age. I, unfortunately, was too soft, was a push over, and I, too, didn't want to go overboard. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret my decision.
Every time I hear the wail of a siren in the distance and it is coming toward this part of time, I cringe, and I wonder if they've come for my son. Every time I get a knock on the front door, the thought goes through my head that it may be "the knock," associated with the police coming to tell me my son is dead.
My son is 28 years old now, and he is not only an alcoholic (and a nasty, obnoxious drunk at that), he is addicted to meth. He will take anything just to get "high." He stole the phenobarbital that I give to my dog to control his epileptic fits. He drank 2 whole bottles of cough syrup with DMX just to get high and hallucinate. It doesn't matter what the drug is, he'll take it. His primary jones is with meth. I saw my son the other day for the first time in about a year, walking down the street. If he hadn't had the particular one-of-a-kind jacket on, I would not have recognized him. He looks like a walking corpse. His face has morphed, looking like the faces of meth you can google. He's 28, but he looks older than I am (55). He was, at one time, brilliant, with an IQ in the 160s. Now, he is what I'd describe as dull-witted, unable to reason his way out of a paper bag. Even his voice has changed. He walks the fine line between severe psychotic episodes and sanity--and he is toppling toward permanent psychotic behavior more and more. In short, my son is dying, and he lives every day to get more and more of the poison that is killing him.
Don't go into doormat mode. Tell your husband. Get mad. Do what ever you have to do--including having your son committed to a rehab facility against his will until he is of legal age. If you stay in doormat mode, you enable your son's habit--and it is a habit...one so well established that he thinks nothing of posting pictures of the crimes (and they are crimes, and YOU are responsible for what goes on in your home) on the Internet.
If you don't act aggressively and act NOW, you will be responsible for its outcome. My son is dying because of my inability to act.
Do whatever you need to do, including taking him to the police department--anything and everything. Once he tries meth, he'll be a goner.
I'll be saying some prayers for you and your family.
If you think I'm "too harsh" and don't do something, any refusal or inability to act right now may very well end up killing your son. I, unfortunately, am speaking from experience.
Is there a chance
he (and mother) might have mental issues? If this goes beyond family it seems as though he is missing something. I'm not saying it is an excuse but it could explain some of his actions. I always strive to understand where things are coming from. The explaination does not always change the outcome but sometimes it helps make a difficult decision a little easier to live with.
One (there are a few) of my family members I spoke of was my uncle. The time I finally decided not to put any effort to talking to him was when he told me flat out that I was a screw up because I went to college for 3 years and decided to stop going because I found a great job and wanted to settle down with my now husband, who was divorced and with a child of his own. This was shortly after I was married that I spoke to him and he basically told me what a mistake I had made. Well, here I am 10 years later and my life is very happy and fulfilled. I later found out that he's an alcoholic. I still would have made my decision but its much easier knowing that I wouldn't have exposed my children to his alcoholism anyway. I also don't feel that is something you can help someone with. They have to want the help themselves.
By any chance....
Did they do an I&D on the cyst? I actually went through the I&D for a pilonidal cyst years ago. I didn't know what it was, but my temperature was over 103 degrees and I just felt "weird" all over (the raging infection, I'm sure, wreaking havoc on my body).
Because it was "traveling" up my spine, the ER doc did an I&D, and that REALLY screwed me up. I felt most of the symptoms your SIL is describing. I don't know if it was a delayed shock reaction because when I went to the ER, I wasn't planning on the procedure, or if it was just an odd result of all of those toxins getting out of my system. I remember my dad being so worried about my condition that he dragged my mattress out into the living room so he could keep an eye on me, so I must have been pretty bad.
If she has a high fever with the pilonidal, or if she underwent I&D, I'd give her about 12-24 hours to recover; however, if the symptoms persist, I'd take her to her PCP or back to the ER.
Better safe than sorry, that's for sure.
Hope she feels better :-).
Is there any chance
I don't want to seem rude, but...
The fact that she misled you about the money and it's for her, not her husband...
The obvious desperation for $300...
The completely irrational behavior that defies logic...
Forgive me if I'm way off base, but could she have a drug habit and be desperate?
I certainly don't mean to insult your friend, so please don't take it that way. Lots of white collar people have prescription and other drug problems, no shame in it these days.
It's just that when people suddenly act extremely out of character and so very desperate for money that she wasn't honest about...well, stranger things have happened.
Again, sorry, and definitely NO offense intended if I'm way off base here.
Any chance
He's on probation? I've known people on probation who refuse to use their own address because they'd prefer to avoid having the authorities drop in unannounced to pay a visit on them.
Is he by any chance a deadbeat dad or in some other legal dispute where someone might be wanting to serve him papers?
I'd get the answer to these questions (and more) before agreeing to let someone use my address. I'd also suggest he retain a P.O. box if for some obscure reason he does not want to use his physical address for things.
Any chance a mouse is somehow
caught in the fan? Although when this happened to my mother's, it caused it to quit running and she had to call a repairman. On discovering the problem, she heard him muttering to himself, "Why me? Why me?"
Are you Catholic, by chance? :)
nm
Are you jewish, by chance? :)
x
**PICTURE of ER-MTs dog Chance**
I want his life!
Just got a chance to pass thru - let me
know how your appointment goes. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have to go to sleep on my side or I get ill. I am rather large in the upper department also - would love it if insurance would pay for a reduction. I haven't ever mentioned it to my doctor either - mainly because for each test that they decide they will run, I see another bill I would have to pay.
When you get a chance, google the
Alday family in Georgia, rural, mostly farming family, all killed in the 60s by intruders- I think there were about 5-7 family members they killed that day plus raping the woman before slaying her also. Sometimes people have false sense of security.
there's a good chance
that boy & girl are seeing each other as they used to be, not as they now are, & through the additionally warmifying haze of longing & regret. I went through something similar but neither of us was married at the time we got back in touch 20 years later (I was divorced, he had never married). By the time we met up again, 20 years' worth of unspent passion had reached such a pitch that it was like being on a drug. We spent a lot of time together over the next couple of years but were not physically intimate this time around. Now here's the kicker: Not only did the feelings eventually pass, I now realize he is one of the most annoying individuals I know. Maybe he was always that annoying; I'm not even sure. At any rate, I think if we had become intimate this time, my conclusion would have been the same, except that sex would have made things completely icky. Now we have casual contact. We live in different cities. We talk every few months if that, & it's okay. It's nice to still be in touch, even if it's only to honor the past. I consider myself lucky that I was able to work all this out outside of another relationship and that no one was hurt.
It's useless to speculate on what we would have been to each other if we'd stayed together & been a couple all those years, how we might have ended up as people. Maybe I wouldn't find him as annoying, or maybe I'd be in prison for having murdered him at some point, who knows. The point is, we weren't together all those years, we went off & became adults & lived most of our lives away from each other & became who we became, & there's no changing any of that.
The moment when I realized that he was not now who he used to be 20 years ago was very difficult. A collision of past & present. I felt a lot of grief over the loss of him, loss of the feelings, loss of youth. It would have been easy to mistake all these feelings for romantic love. I'm not saying any of this is the case for the story in question, I'm just saying Girl should be sure before she unloads a good man. The process of coming to terms with the past may cost her dearly.
Do they by any chance have a social worker you...
could contact? That way, if the social worker stepped in no one in the family would really be so "involved" and it might save hard feelings further down the road but might have the same results.
Have you already started the New Years before I have a chance?
chug-a-lug
Are they mountain climbers by any chance? - sorry, I had to ask! nm
nm
I'm more afraid of dying before I have a CHANCE to get old. nm
x
Adam is so hyped. No one has a chance.
nm
Is there an age limit on being able to sign up?? I might have missed my chance. LOL
Sorry couldn't resist. I'll never be too old to think that sounds wrong 
I'm more annoyed that the court keeps giving her one more chance.
xx
Any chance you could visit family or a friend...
for a few days when he leaves the dogs? Or simply tell DH that you will only take care of your guys? Let hubby experience what a job it is. I have a cat and a large black lab and those two alone can keep me pretty busy. Can't even imagine what you go through on a daily basis, let alone when you have extras. I believe in karma, and you have a giant reward coming your way one of these days, as do many of you other kind-hearted posters.
Oh goody, a chance to play doctor....
Do you have high blood pressure? Have you increased the salt in your diet lately?
I take a water pill, have done so for most of the last 12 years. I was started on it for hand swelling actually (and high BP), but the last couple years, I've had leg swelling when I forget to take it.
Mostly, I think some level of mild leg swelling comes with age. Anything that causes you to need bigger shoes isn't mild though. That would be the point where I stop playing doctor and point you to a real one.
Giving him another chance?? When did he start showing remorse in
s
get him a prescription for Chantix. It will give him a 44% better chance of quitting. nm
.
She made her choice but parents at least owe their kids a chance (sm)
She was given that chance and blew it - some would blow it and some would not. But I still think that with the way our country works today if you do not at least try to help your kids get through college you have not finished your job as a parent.
I head that was a limited-time only thing. I never even got a chance to try it. nm
xx
Congratulations! Any chance you can email me the recipe. Sounds yummy! - NM
NM
Have you turned it on?
Just kidding....
You all have turned me on to
the French press. Gosh, don’t get out enough and have not heard of this. I love strong coffee, want to sniff up the coffee houses whenever I stop to get some, mine sure does not smell like theirs. I hope I have the same luck as you have, can hardly wait.
Yours could have turned out that way
but I have now a 40+ and a 30+ each and both are doing extremely well, always respectful, kind, considerate. Maybe just a swat (as you call it) was just that, like a little pat so I can understand the way you are thinking.
Not everyone turned out okay
some had brain damage from lead poisoning, some died from ATV accidents, some drown in bathtubs, lakes, rivers, pools. We simply got lucky and ran our guardian angels ragged. Obviously the rules/laws were made because other children weren't so lucky... She shouldn't have asked. She simply shouldn't have even conceived of the idea. A 9-month-old does not belong on an ATV.
My MIL was the same way, until she turned 70. sm
A man, contracting work on her condo, was interested in her and would not give up until she went out with him. She spent the best 5 years of her life with this man, until he passed away.
When the right man comes along, you will know, and it could happen at any time.
LOL!! Yep - I've turned it on :-)
Yep, me too. Turned it on today just to see...
her "announcement" and I had to quickly change the channel again. She's the worst. I will be happy to give it a try again once she is OFF
I have turned those sheets every which way
but loose, have about 3 sets and nothing has been working. I am making notes of all these answers and check the mattress out. It is huge and thick so have to get the measuring tape out.
Turned 40 today
You wanted some positives....if you are healthy, be thankful, a lot of people are not....I will be 65 this year, people say I look 40.....I'm healthy, physically active, triathalons & all that that entails to stay fit.....very fortunate--kids grown & gone. Worked hard raising kids & now it is paying off.....don't have to raise grandkids. Retired from one career & started another.....Be happy! You know more now at 40 than you did at 20. Work smarter, not harder!
I've had several already and I just turned 40
I had a few problems going on, hence the need for so many at my age, but it all turned out okay.
Anyway, I have small boobage, so there was quite a bit of adjusting involved with trying to get my under-endowed self on the plates. Not the most comfortable thing to do, but as it is over so fast and could possible save my life, it's 100% worth it.
What we women go through. When my husband had his first prostate exam, he came home whining about how embarrassing it was. I then gave him a whole litany of what embarrassing really was as far as PAPs etc. What a baby.
Now, go get those mammies grammed!
I turned 47 in November.... thanks!
xx
My DH just turned 70 - Thinks he is 40 ##
I am 69
Hush don't go imagining something!!
Yes! I turned the volume way down . .
maybe because it's a singing contest and I feel like a judge. If she was a contestant, she'd get the boot.
Glad your day turned out well...and that was
great you huddled. After dad talked to them on the phone, and they came back inside they did their chores, made their own lunches, while I tried to get that headache to go away. DH just took them with their allowances from last week to Walmart probably to remind them the positive points of being cooperative. Yep, I love them too and don't want to think about the next 15 years when they leave. I just think for me and maybe some of us it is difficult working at home all day and doing double, triple duty. I have been worried about my MT pay and wrote my DH a note today I am indeed going to take some time off from MTing because I feel burnt to a crisp. He said something about a month in a house at the beach (with kids, and with him just popping in), but I know I won't be able to take much time at all off from work. Our production job is so tough, man, some days are difficult for mom, dad and kids. But it cheers me to hear your day got better. Mine is too because I rested and the kids are out at Walmart which they love. About my taking time off from MTing, we'll see how long that lasts LOL. Dream, dream, dream.
Googling turned up:
Small amounts of ammonia are normally in the bloodstream. Many serious illnesses, including liver damage, can cause blood ammonia levels to rise. High levels of ammonia can cause patients to become confused and die, if left untreated.
I have been called only once since I turned 18....
and I am 55 now. I was actually looking forward to it too. I made it as far as jury selection. They needed 13, and I was #14. Oh well..at least I got to see how the system worked. And even if I had been seated, there was no guarantee that the case would have gone to trial anyway.
My gas was turned off last week.
I hear your pain though not quite as bad as I used my money for bills to pay my mtg and the recent ruling by FEMA that I now live in a flood zone (100 year flood) and by 6/15, I had to fork over 300.00 or they'd apply their own at the tune of 2 grand.
I made 60 grand for 3 years in a row. During my last 2 months at my beloved job, I made 1 grand a month. Without notice, my account left and I was basically kicked to the curb.
Savings account is what would have saved me. After all these years doing this, I am back at ground zero. It is very stressful in this economy where compassion fatigue is quite apparent from the posts below.
United we stand, divided we fall, I suppose.
I turned the show on just because of the posts
and disappointed as I could be, did not watch that much, thought the guy a creep and his wife shoulda left years ago. I turned the channel.
Eeeekkk.... I've turned into my mom....sm
Yesterday my teenage daughter asked if she could go bowling with some friends after school today. Her room was a horrible mess, which isn't normal for her. I turned into my mom and said "You're going no where until that room is cleaned up."
EEEEKKK!!!!
I had panel painted, turned out really
nice and has been that way for 3 years- never filled in any cracks.
I turned out really well, thanks to the village that raised me.
And, I had a really wonderful dad. I guess the best thing for you to do is to make your daughter's friend feel welcome in your home. My best friends growing up had great families, and I loved going to their houses for sleepovers, dinners, and just hanging out. Their examples gave me good models for how to care for my family and home when I became a wife and mother. As I said, this was back in the 1960s, and no one talked about such things in those days. So no one ever took me aside and talked to me about what was going on at home. I suppose, had it been going on in this day and age, the schools and authorities would have been contacted and I'd have had counseling, and whatever else is done these days. I'm not saying those are bad things, just that the people in my small town simply went with their intuition. They knew I didn't have a stable home life, so they offered it to me in their own homes. I remember all the mothers of my friends very fondly, to this day. All of them have since passed away. They were wonderful women. One in particular, kept in touch with me for years after I grew up and moved away, and even hand-knit Christmas stockings for my family, which I treasure to this day.
Yeah my DD just turned 9 and has been wearing 5s - sm
now for a few months. I wear a 7 and can actually squeeze into her a a pair of her open-ended sandels. She has always been in the 95th percentile for height and weight, but is slowing down some, now at about 88%.
Awwww I feel for you...your SIL has turned into
your SIL sounds like the way my mother used to be (deceased many years now) her entire life...like Joan Crawford in Harriet Craig, a movie I just saw the other night on TCM.
My father used to call my mother "Craig's Wife" when I was growing up and I never understood why until I saw Robert Osborne on TCM explaining all about this movie, Harriet Craig....which was also a remake of another movie in the 1920s or 30s called .....CRAIG'S WIFE!!!
Just know that you're the better person and I don't even know you, but I know so many women in Florida (and elsewhere too!!) who are like this and it all comes from their own insecurities and their need for control.....
Hope you get to feelin' better real soon!! 
Take into consideration I turned in my own husband
some years ago on exactly the same thing. I do not care if it is my momma, the law is the law. I was on vacation, my husband (at that time) allowed his girlfriend to drive my vehicle, she wrecked it, only was checked out at the hospital, never admitted and tried to charge the insurance I paid for her expenses. Did not turn out that way. I called the insurance company and told them they were having a scam run on them. I am on the up and up and he wasn’t so that is what I did and would do again.
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