It is not my fault others get offended at my opinions
Posted By: & dont think I should be penalized because of that on 2008-04-11
In Reply to: Yes, we know. - Moderator
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Offended others
My intent was not to offend others - that is why I worked as a wet nurse - so that those who could not breast feed their babies received the immunity and benefits of breastfeeding. I realize that it is not something that every woman can do and I never said that it was for everyone because it is not.
I would be so offended if I were you
I am a really big animal lover and probably would have turned him in for the kicking of an animal, husband or not, just would not be done around me. Secondly, running the risk of catching a disease by the tick thing, I would not live in the same home knowing this. His actions would just gross me out. Whether others killed birds or not, I would not be there, innocent animals all around that this man is hurting! Sounds really like a disgusting life style and I would never want to be a part of that. You are not wrong in your feelings. Do you have children that you cannot leave or just dont want to leave. I doubt he will change his ways but you could tell him either clean up or you are out of there, might work.
I would tell her that I was offended and was buying elsewhere (sm)
I have learned over the years to stop wishing in hindsight that I had said what I should say to begin with. She is being rude and thinking you will pay her asking price just to prove to her that you can afford it. She is banking on you being offended and trying to prove to her that you can indeed afford it. That is a sales tactic I have seen used before - don't bite the bait!
I agree--not offended here at all.
I think that's what this board is for...a safe haven to talk about things. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't worry about what you witnessed at all. Seen it, heard it, even lended a hand a few times! We have been through the discord and will probably be through it again. It's always something. Hang in there and please try not to worry. Stuff like this happens...a lot. It's just that not a lot of people like to talk about it for fear of it being verboten is all. ;-)
no i wasn't offended :) sm
i feel like to each their own. my kids didn't sleep with me when they were babies. they slept in their own rooms and actually they fell asleep on their own very well. my second boy would sometimes spit up big time while sleeping, so i kept him close to me anytime he was sleeping, in his bassinet (gosh don't know how to spell that!!).
i see my hubby and his family and although they all love each other, there is no communication whatsoever in his family and they aren't near as close as i am with my mom and dad. i want my boys to grow up knowing they can talk to me about anything and that i'm always here for them. my hubby is the type that keeps EVERYTHING to himself. i'm not like that! i blame his family for not having open communication, and my hubby suffers from anxiety to a certain extent. his family situation is a whole nother chapter!
thanks for your input! 
that's okay im not easily offended
and im EASILY amused.
#7 is very funny
Can I ask some very personal questions? Please don't be offended and you sm
don't have to answer. I would completely understand. but...
When you two got together I'm sure he wasn't exactly over the death of his wife, so how did he respond to you? Was he emotional around you, missing her, etc? At what point were you positively sure that he was in love with you and not still in love with her? I am only asking because of a personal situation in my life and I am curious about yours.
Thank you.
lol, nope not offended at all. Not sure what that means actually.
But, yes, you would think, right? But nope! Actually I have been going to the up-scale and very expensive salons where they have spas and serve you lattes and finger sandwiches by choice hoping I will get good results and they are the ones I have the most problems with!
If you read my other post, where I mentioned the bleach products and what I said about the expensive versus the cheaper products, you'd see what I mean.
But thanks!
Not offended, just thinking with some sense
She is emotional because of what has happened. Legally, you cannot obtain someone elses records - I told her to contact lawyer because this is not a good thing to tell. It is not legal period. She can try to protect but you cannot take the laws into your own hands, well you can but then you might be put in jail. I am just telling her the facts like they are. She can insist on him having testing but again she CANNOT make him do it. Not her call.
nor was I offended. Sorry for your troubles in the marriage. sm
Maybe he just needed some "relief" if the two of you are not getting along so well in the bedroom, so to speak, if you catch my drift.
No! Not offended in the least and as a matter of fact, sm
I never even noticed the imperfections of my daughter's feet. Interesting though is the fact I never realized for the last 20 years that the second toe is longer. Isn't that the sign of a leader? Well, she definitely fits THAT profile :-)
As for the bunions... well, let's just say it's a good thing I work at home...
first of all, I agree you have a reason to be offended
but on the other hand, she may really have been trying to have (what she thought) was an open and genuine conversation with you.
I went through a period after my divorce where I really questioned why guys who slept around were considered studs while gals who did the same were considered *luts. I asked a lot of questions from a lot of people. Doesn't mean I slept around a lot, but I was curious about the thinking behind the idea of how things could be so different when the only difference was gender.
All I'm trying to say is that perhaps in her disjointed way, she was trying to genuinely institage a thoughtful discussion about racial inequality, even though she failed not to offend, but in her own mind thought she was unoffensive. Some people really do ask questions because of genuine curiosity that has been dormant in their own minds even if they do come across as offensive. Just MHO. Doesn't excuse her rudeness by all means, but just a thought to toss about.
I have often wodered this too. I would also not be offended hear of someones
I have also wondered why those who do not believe in Christ (athiests and the like) celebrate Christmas.
Am so offended by the loading him up so he is more manageable for me comment (sm)
I would NEVER do that. How dare you make that assumption? How rude of you!!
He is 100% at fault.
He agreed to park it on his property and it was stolen while on his watch. End of story. Yes, your husband perhaps should have taken care of things before he drove off for the night, BUT your BIL agreed to keep it for him. Yes, as the poster below stated, it is really no different than if he borrowed your car and it was stolen while in his possession. I would not let it go, they are plain out and out wrong. I do not understand how people sleep at night when they treat others that way, family to boot!
I truly hope you get something resolved. Good luck to you.
It's not the dog's fault
Why would you call them stupid dogs and then say you can't shoot them?? and you have a dog of your own. It's the pet owner's responsibility. The dog's don't bark just to annoy the neighbors. The owners should take responsibility or they shouldn't have dogs.
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No....it isn't the dog's fault.
The OP was complaining of just barking. I was complaining about a lot more than just barking. My mother is 64 y/o, widowed, and suffers from MS. She has a right to be able to walk in her yard without worrying about the neighbor's dog knocking her over, barking at her, tearing out her trash, or getting under her feet and making her fall.
I understand that it isn't the dog's fault but no matter how many times you call the Sherriff or the humane society.....nothing is done. They still have the dogs and my mom still deals with it everyday. She has no rights whatsoever to keep her yard animal free and she has to live like this.
I personally feel that anyone should have a right to shoot any stray animal on their property. If pet owners aren't going to be responsible enough to keep their pets in their own yard, they have to live with the idea of someone shooting their pet. I don't like other dogs on my property. I don't allow my dog to go off of our property.
Not your fault sm
There is a program on called, "Intervention" and you may or may not get it in your area (on cable). It is a very sad but true reality show that deals with addiction. You didn't do it to him. He has this "go" factor in his brain that makes him want the drug more than anything else in the world and he will lie, cheat and steal to get it. If there is free counseling, get it or call NA and ask if there is a program you could go to yourself to learn how to deal with it. You can't go to AA for drugs unfortunately because they'll let you know right off the bat that it's for alcohol. There may be programs for multiple addictions you could attend. It all depends what tools you have wherever you live. Don't cushion his fall and don't be an enabler. I had to cut myself off from a brother I love dearly but he has to learn that I won't give him money, won't take his BS stories or anymore schemes. When I saw him last, I cried, he looked awful, but he did it to himself, the drug rules. There are many online chat rooms and I think if you Google "Recovery" or 12 step programs you may want to go in, sign in and just listen and at least get some feedback. You did not cause it and don't think for one moment you can cure it. The only one who can help your son is God and if you believe it, some power higher than himself. But he has to want it more than the drug. Intervenion may help. Don't enable him or he will reach a tragic end. Most of all, take care of yourself.
it's not all his fault
My dad is a teacher in California (I live in a different state) and has had 10 days per school year cut from his paycheck. The vacations are also longer during the school year as well. I don't understand the whole new office furniture purchase from your superintendent, but it sounds like your school system is just like everywhere else. Government-run systems/jobs have all had to make cuts, and schools seem to be the first that get screwed. All of the changes he has made probably stem from mandatory cuts he has to make to save money. Each school is going to be different how they implement them.
My husband's parents work for a government college and they are having the same problem with money. The college laid off so many people to save money. It is sad, but nothing can be done when it comes to mandatory cut backs. Hopefully things will change in the future, but it sounds like they are floundering to find ways to save money anyway the can.
hospital CEO's at fault too
Nurses not work when they are tired? Hospitals need to hire enough nurses so that won't be forced to work when they are tired- ARH nurses in our state are on strike right now fighting for this. about the Quaid babies, I agree the meds should be in totally different colored bottles.
You are saying to make up when you think not your fault?
I have done this before, a relative got very angry with me years ago and I told them if I could visit again I would never say anything to upset them again- if they said the sky was striped I would say, yes it was- that is what I had to do if I wanted to see them so I have done that- now having said that- he is upset about the fact he thinks I took his money and told me so. Why try to make amends when it would never be right in his eyes- he still feels slighted. An apology from me would not change his perspective on my having
so called cheated him out of what was due him.
Except FL has no fault divorce. Everything is 50/50.
nnnnnnnnnnnnnn
And it's not their fault you offend them.
But--this is another reason. It was very nicely explained, and yet the arguing continues. Sometimes you just need to state your opinion and move on. There are some you just won't win. Like this one--or the puppy mill one. Somtimes people just don't want to hear it, let alone hear it over and over again. Just step away from the situation.
how did i even imply it was his fault?
I was asking if it is something that can be worked out. Obviously this is my only long-term relationship. And what gave you the impression I "go out all the time". First of all I don't drink, at all. Secondly I NEVER went out until 2 years ago because he was in the Marines and I just stayed home all the time waiting for him and being worried... but you sound a lot like my mom, like if I am not married and popping out babies by the time I'm 30, I'm a total failure.
but that is not you daughters fault sm
that you had such a horrible life. I feel for you. I too had a pretty rough childhood but no way would I even think to make one of my kids pay for that. Sounds like you need some serious counseling or you are going to be one miserable lonely old lady.
I meant before now- you sound like it's my fault
I mean I have never gotten in trouble before this. Yes - I work for an extremely strict company - if you are late more than 5 minutes twice in a 30 day period, it counts as an absence. I missed one day last week for my daughter having strep; prior to that I had missed one day in 7 months due to child illness. My employer says you have to have someone else to watch your child when they are sick
And I bet the divorces weren't her fault, either.
f
maybe it's the post office fault.
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No, NOTHING makes it the woman's fault, BUT....
I don't think the woman has anything to do with whether a man cheats or not. Period. End of Story. Spare me the long sob story about how the woman *never put out* for her man.
That said...
If a person who has been cheated on just sits and lets nature take its course, almost always they are vindicated.
If Princess Diana had just let Charles be Charles, he would have become and STAYED the laughingstock of Britain. And she would have become Queen. (Okay, maybe not Queen, but she was then and is still an icon in Britain, and he would have never recovered from his cheating on her).
In looking at the John Edwards scandal - it's very similar. Elizabeth never did anything wrong. If she continues on that path until her death, ultimately John Edwards will probably NEVER recover politically speaking.
When you do the RIGHT thing instead of the convenient thing, you will ultimately be vindicated.
I also disagree that it is never the woman's fault.
I do not know what your circumstances are, but there are a lot of wives out there whose fault it is that their husbands leave them.
There is something I would never, never do and this is cheating with a married man.
This is downright despicable, ruining marriages.
I say it's her mother's fault. Supposedly she was stage mom from
!!!!
It was the OWNERS' fault for allowing the dog to run loose.
The fact that you didn't see him and ran over him was an accident. That accident wouldn't have occurred if those people had been responsible dog owners and kept him in a securely fenced yard.
Nothing makes it the woman's fault - not even if she also cheats. sm
Two wrongs don't make a right. Men need to act more like humans and less like animals, and keep themselves under control.
On the subject of fault. Dont read if easily
If my opinion upsets someone, I think it is their "fault" (for lack of a better word) if they get upset. Everyone owns their own feelings and should not let someone else's opinion have so much power over how they feel. As far as lemmings and masses, those are generalities, a comment on society as a whole, not aimed at any one person.
I am sorry if my opinions have so much influence over others. I will try to keep my thoughts in check.
It's not the worker's fault. She has to follow the rules or be fired. sm
I've taken a lot of flack from a lot of customers, and the run-of-the-mill retail worker really has no freedom to make decisions. When the worker is caught between a yelling customer and a yelling manager, who do you think she'll listen to?
Why would ask for opinions if you are going to
call those who disagree with you "uptight busybodies." You asked for opinions and you got them, plain and simple. We don't all have to agree. We all just have our own opinions. Just think how boring life would be if we all agreed on everything. Have a blessed day!
Would like opinions please
Okay, I am going to try to make this as short as possible. This regards my grandparents and cousins. My grandparents are my world, although I don't get to see them as much as I would like. My two cousins, who are brother and sister, and I have always been close. Cousin #1 and I have always been very close friends, sister-type close.
I have not been able to get ahold of my grandparents in almost a month. My grandfather has the beginning stages of dementia, and the last time I talked to them was on Father's Day.
Jumping around here a bit, I had a baby in April. Cousin #1 has not even called and asked about the baby, has not wanted to come by (she was there with me when the first two were born and has always considered my kids "her kids." I have called her numerous times with no return calls. Yesterday I sent her a text message asking if she had talked to my grandparents, and she did not answer.
After that, I sent my other cousin a message on Myspace and asked if he had spoken to them and how they were doing. I was able to see that he had read the message, but he did not answer it.
The last time I spoke to cousin #1 was about two weeks before the baby was born. She said she had not been feeling well and missed a lot of work, so she did not know if she could make it to the hospital. I told her I understood and I hoped she would start feeling better soon. After all of the unanswered calls, I sent her an E-card and told her I felt like I must have upset her and to please call so that we could talk it out.
This is becoming quite long, I am sorry about that! The only thing I can possibly think of is that I named the baby after my step-dad, not my dad. In regards to that, however, I have a brother who is my dad's namesake, and felt like that was his place, not mine. I really did not think that my family would get so upset as to not talk to me, though.
Any thoughts? Thanks for all opinions.
Thanks for your opinions . . . sm
I have decided since I don't feel 100% comfortable, I will not allow it to happen. I am ready to hear "you're the meanest mother in the world." Someday when he's grown I can explain . . . right?
Need opinions!!!
I just recently got back in touch with an old friend from high school. We made plans to take our kids somewhere together this Saturday. I should preface this by saying I'm married and she's not. When I talked to her last night to firm up our plans, she asks me if my husband was going. Well, I thought it was just me and her taking our kids out and I wasn't going to ask my husband to go along since she's not married. Then she says that she's been "meaning to tell me" that her new boyfriend is going with her. My husband cannot go because of work so now, if I go, I'm stuck with her and her new boyfriend who I do not know.
Do y'all think I'm crazy for feeling weird about this? I don't want to be a third wheel on her date, especially with my kids along.
Thanks for any opinions!! 
Need opinions. Do you think it is possible...sm
for a relationship to survive if you are involved with a man who is currently going through a divorce? I myself am divorced and have been for 5 years so I have dealt with my "issues." The man I have been talking to has been separated from his wife for 1 year and is in the process of filing for divorce. In our state you have to be separated for 1 year if there are children involved. I have known this man for almost 3 years. I met him in a professional environment and just happened to run into him last summer and he told me about his separation, etc. For the past 8 months or so we have talked on a regular basis and have occasionally spent time together. He has met my children but I have not met his children. Now things seem to be taking a different turn. He is starting to talk like he wants to progress to the next level with a relationship with me. I don't want to be the rebound person. I just wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation and how it turned out. I just need some input from other women who have been in this situation. Thanks.
Are you asking for opinions? sm
I think your instincts are correct that she is jumping in too soon, waaaay too soon. I wish she would consider the kids and what they've been through and the example she is setting. Have you spoken to her about your take on this?
Well thanks for the opinions.
There are a few more old timer's like me on this board.  I probably won't mainly because of the hounding she is doing. It is a nuisance and it does need to stop. H and I went looking for a new car because the hospital I work for is cutting back on their MTs and they offered me a job doing something else in-house. I just need a car that gets good gas mileage. Anyway, she kept insisting we get the first car we drove. I told dd to quiet down, that dad and I will make the decision. H told her, dd, you go to school, you listen to your teacher and make good grades, then you land youself a good paying job and you can get whatever car you want on this lot, but until then, you're on Mom and Dad's budget. Poor dd when H is around. She will say "I want, I want" H will say I want a lot of things. I am wondering of the other girls that she saw are just wearing those sports bra type thingys.
You ask for opinions and then you say should know better?
NM
Need your opinions please
Okay MTs, here's the deal need your opinions please . . . Made an appointment at American's Best that 2 pairs of glasses for $69.95 deal bad experience all around! Glasses ended up costing me over $250.00! When I picked them up one pair was broken! They fixed on the spot I took them home cannot wear either pair, as they give me a headache. I had a feeling they wouldn't be right because the eye doctor came off as a complete ***** to me. First off he tried to tell me there were special contract lens that would allow me to and I quote "see my dreams clearly." Okay dreams are a brain function. You do not need prescription eye wear to see dreams! And in my opinion he violated HIPAA. While I was in the waiting area between testing for field vision etc. He informed me in front of others waiting in that same area of my tests results. My results are my business not any other patients in the waiting room. Anyway, I returned today to return the glasses for my money back they advertise a 30-day return. They gave me nothing but grief. Only refunded me for $147.00 when I paid over $200.00 plus I had to pay for that advertised free eye exam (which I understand since I didn't want glasses I cannot wear). Im livid. I'm still out $103.00, plus I'm sure the eye exam money is basically wasted because the flipping ****** didn't do the prescription right. Both glasses were supposed to be the same prescription yet one pair I could see distance somewhat okay, but got headaches/dizzy the other pair useless couldn't see period! I paid extra for coatings for anti-glare that I don't believe were done. Please don't go there save yourself a major headache. Others were in the same store when I was trying to get my money back for the same reasons. Anyway long story short did the eye doctor violate HIPAA in your opinions? My tests were okay but that was my business. And if you believe he violated me . . . where do I report him? Im sick of being taken advantage of by places like this. Thanks. I'm sorry if there are any errors in my typing I'm livid. Ohdid I mention when he dilated my eyes (3 drops) they stayed that way not for hours but entire day! My eyes burned and I wasn't "back to normal" for a week. I'm furious. 
want opinions -
Been there with my daughter - follow your instincts. I said "yes" but way later found it was not so innocent. Wish I had followed my instinct! Even though she was safe and had a blast, it opened the door to a life style I wish she had not traveled.
not you again....we can all have opinions...
remember free speech? This is my opinion. Why the bitterness towards me? One would think you were jealous or a stalker....
Need your opinions...
If your mother-in-law came to your house for your child's b-day parties and did not speak to you, say hello, or goodbye, would you consider this to be disrespectful? This did not happen just 1 time, it has happened at all 3 of our daughter's b-day parties. Would your husband confront his mother on this? If not would you?
Other dr opinions
If you're not sure, then by all means get him in to see another doctor for another opinion. I have heard, however, that mono can take up to a year for someone to fully recover from.
That's what I am looking for- opinions from others. Thank you for your comment.
:)
Any opinions on Vongo?
We're thinking about joining with a 2 week free trial, but I don't like that you can't see the movie selection before joining.
Anyone here use or know about Vongo?
Thanks!
Need your opinions and input please. This is for the ones who have sm
 daughters in law in their 20s and 30s, please. I am in my mid 30s. I have 3 sisters in law (am i saying that correct or is it sister in laws?). Anyways, here is my dilemma. I am very much hated. I don't use that term lightly - I was told 5 years ago by one of the evil SILs that I was the black sheep of the family and that no one liked me. This one in particular went on and on about how the other sisters feel the same way. I eventually forgave her and them (even though at family functions no matter how nice I am they are just spiteful, mean, give dirty looks). I wish I had a camera.I am not kidding you AT ALL. It's really sad. My husband would do absolutely nothing until late last year when the situation got so bad around Christmas that he finally stood up to me to the middle sis who caused and started all the trouble in the first place. Their father died when they were all in their teens and my husband is the only guy in the family if that puts any light on the situation. Anyways, it's been basically a living helll being in this family. My family all love each other deeply no matter what, so I don't understand this kind of hate. Anyways, I was at a meeting a while back and one there were some ladies there who know me and husband's family. They were so sweet to me and telling me things like (these ladies were older), "well, if I were the mother in law, I would put a stop to that immediately!" Which made me feel good. Here's the thing. I'm really, really, really starting to despise and resent my mother in law for being so sweet to my face, yet she does nothing! She totally pretends like everything is okay. She continues to allow this treatment from the other sisters towards me and it just seems - well, not right. I've put up with this for a long time. It's to the point now where my MIL lives about 10 minutes away and I refuse to let her watch the kids, even for 5 minutes, because i've bee told (by a certain sister in law - and you know which one I'm talking about) that I am so unappreciative and never say thank you whenever my MIL has to keep my kids. That is a bold-face lie and just so rude and mean and cruel. My parents live 3,000 miles away. I am here because this is where my husband is from. I have no babysitter. I have used my MIL in the past to keep all 3 kids, but usually at her request AND I've been known to write thank you notes to her for watching them if only for 2 hours. I am so grateful for anyone who does anything for me. That's the way I was brought up.
Anyways, one of the sisters had a baby the other day. Was told only blood relatives only to see the baby and when I asked someone who does that mean - they flat out said, "You." I am hurt. Yes. I don't like them either. That's fine. But, what I need to deal with is my MIL situation. Why won't she say something? I can't. If I speak up or email or anything about the situation - boy does it get ugly. Basically, I'm told to go to helll. Seriously. I've even considered divorcing my husband over this, but then I think of how hellaciuos it would be having to deal with visitation and then taking the kids to MIL DIVORCED - and then I change my mind.
If you were the mother in this situation - wouldn't you try to say something, do something? nip it in the bud, as one other lady called it/ Or say things like, "If so and so isn't invited then we shouldn't go." Like say, on weekend trips where the entire family is invited except ME.
This one sister in law even sends birthday invites and party invites to my KIDS. not me. They are 3 and 5 and will say things like, "Tell you daddy to bring you to my party." It makes me sick. Literally.
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