Is this your friend's first child?...sm
Posted By: cat on 2008-01-27
In Reply to: Friend - blondie
Send her an unusual postcard and say something like "I miss your smiling face, my friend. I know how hectic it can be with a newborn baby and new routine. Gimme a call when you feel up to it. p.s.- I'll bring you a pastrami on rye with a cream soda (Chinese, pizza or whatever her favorite snacks are).
I'm sure she and baby will be fine. Just hang in there, be supportive and continue to send postcards from the edge to make her smile. If you're that close, she knows you're thinking of her and that you'll be there through thick and thin.
My other thought is that her hubby may be the one freakin' out bkz of the baby's condition and making her feel like crap. It's not uncommon...Some men are just very thoughtless before they speak.  Cat
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- Is this your friend's first child?...sm - cat
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Had a friend whose child took it
It took a few weeks for the level to build up in her system (or to build up toleranace to it), 4 to 6 weeks, but it did wonders for her.
I'm sure you know to continuously monitor the dose because as they grow, their needs change.
Best of luck to the little guy and to you.
controversial: friend beating his child with a stick
I already know what I must do. I know I'm going to have to call CPS. Here's the thing: Dan and I both drop off our boys (8 years old) at school every morning. Sometimes after school he and I and the boys go to a local diner for coffee and cocoa. We've been those drop the kids off kind of friends, both single, but nothing more. (We could never get along because our parenting styles vary so differently.) He is VERY strict with his son. I raise my child with love and respect. His child lies and steals, mine does not.
This morning, after the kids were inside, he stated to me: "Tonight he gets the stick. I told him to choose between losing hockey or the stick, and he chose the stick." Apparently, the child does not move quickly enough in the morning and the reason they are often late is because he tricks his father, like turning on the water and pretending to brush his teeth, then climbing back in bed. (Which was today's offense.) I have made it very clear to him he is way too strict, that the outcome will not be as he expects. "That's the way I was raised," he states.
I don't know his address. I do know the address of the school. So, apparently, what I have to do is tell him that I will be calling CPS and reporting him, which might be the only obvious way to avoid this evenings' "stick." Sure, I guess this will cost me our friendship, but the child's safety is the only thing involved. However, the child's mother is even worse than the father. He obtained her as a mail-order bride, they are now divorced, she is on her fifth American husband, and is even more abusive to the child. Have I already answered my own question?
Should say the child found in Florida proved to be the Caylee child, homicide.
NM
a friend's b/friend died last year, drank, took vicodin...
Yes, with my second child.
He is now 13 and has never had any problems. Just pray, God will work it all out for you and I will keep you in my prayers also.
Tell me a little about your child, please
Thanks.
Thank God. Having your child taken would be the
.
As a child...
I never sucked my thumb and never had a pacifier. I had crowding of teeth as an adult because of wisdom teeth pushing on them. It really is the size/shape of your mouth/palate that determines crooked teeth, and that is determined by genetics.
More than one child
We were planning on only having one child, but 10 years later (she's almost 4 now) we did have a second one which I of course don't regret for a minute. The only thing I can say is don't listen to those that say you have to have a second child. That's all I heard for years. How can yo just have one, and on and on. It's nobody's business but you and your husband.
Yes, have gone since I was a child.
My kids also go, ages 20, 17 and 15. It fills my spiritual tank for the week and our pastor is so wonderful and uplifting and we have a fabulous congregation. I don't feel right if I miss a week.
No H is an only child LOL.
That is probably what the problem is too. No other children to dote on.
A dog is not a child and has different
needs from a child. But even a child is put in a bassinet to sleep in when they are small to control how much they roll around. Then later they are put in a crib. Is that a cage for you too? Or do you put the child on a full-size mattress and hope for the best? No, you carefully listen to all the rules about safe mattresses for infants and how soon pillows can be used and what position is safest for an infant.
For dogs, you need to get to know them before you give them free reign of the house. Otherwise they might get into something we didn't think of to put up and die. This dog is in the age range of 12-18 months. We can already tell he is inquisitive. We don't know how much time he has spent in a house because he was abandoned at the shelter. We will observe him and train him and grant him more freedoms as he proves himself ready.
Dogs in the wild use dens. You are misinformed, probably by PETA folks who would have you release your Yorkshire terrier to the wild to fend for itself if they had their druthers.
I was 29, he's my only child
before I had him I had two miscarriages in the same year (when I was 28). He is almost 13. I'm in downstate NY and at his school school (it's a Catholic school) many of his classmates' parents are at least as old as I am. Hope to get married soon but probably too late for another..
of course he is my child
I have his age wrong though. He is 31. How on earth can I or should I stop him from stating his own opinion? It is certainly not unusual for an 18-year-old male to use the word, even when talking about his evil GM. He was 18 when dear G'ma died. I'm telling you, the woman was evil, evil, evil!!!! Even my ex-DH (is there such a thing) didn't like her. The only reason my older son liked her was because he was the first grandchild and she worshipped him. When my SIL had 2 kids, they were okay for a while, then she didn't want to mess with them either. She liked dogs and cats more than people. And, by the way, I am really relating to all of you out there who go to your MIL's for all the holidays and not your mom's. I did that also, because I dearly loved my FIL and my SIL, BIL, etc. If I had it to do over again, I think I would have shared a little more. My mom is only 70, but no one is promised tomorrow. We do all holidays together now.
Right - I don't think they should take the child because (sm)
no matter what, children love their parents and would be traumatized to be taken away from them, so unless they are being terribly mistreated, I don't think they should ever be taken. Children who go thru life in foster homes are rarely ever happy. But Social Services could go in and help them get things cleaned up if that is why. It may not be, but in my case that was the problem. I eventually at about age 11 or 12 went out and bought bug spray and sprayed my hair and brushes and sprayed my PILLOW regularly to keep the bugs away. I am sure that was horrible for my health but I was desperate.
Because he's still YOUR CHILD, and he still needs to know he is welcome. nm
x
child with SVT. sm
Hi. My 16-year-old son is suspicious for SVT. Anyone else experience this? I had made an appointment for March, and now the doc is calling me and wants to see my son next week. He has already had an echo and an event monitor. Don't know if I should be freaked out or not.
Yes, first child....nm
xx
Would you have said anything about this child?
I was at a very big market (international) this morning and as I exited the lunch room to retrieve my cart, saw a very young child alone in a cart with no one around. I stood there not moving for several minutes wondering where a parent might be. I could not even see a person in front or back of him that seemed to be paying attention to this child (probably around 3 or 4 years of age). The serving line in front does have glass so I could see the people buying their lunches. Finally I noticed a man that was looking around frequently at the child and finally he got through the line and came and picked the child up. I approached him to say how it is so easy for a person to snatch his child (John Walsh's on AMW had his young child snatched and killed in similar, only taking a second) and this man looked annoyed and said thank you for your thoughts and hurried away. Clearly child endangerment here but would you have said anything or just let it go?
How do you know it was actually his child?
That's what's scary.
I have a child like this...
(This turned out long. Please stick with me.)
Like your son, it started in infancy. He could throw a fit that could go on for 30 minutes. If it was related to going to sleep, he would cry for hours no matter what I tried. (Yes, i did have him ruled out for medical causes.) He just could not calm himself down and he wanted what he wanted when he wanted it. It started to feel like a war zone and the other kids were not getting the attention they needed because I felt like I had to deal with his bad behavior all the time.
When he was very young (infancy to about 3 years old), I would let him throw his fits and try to ignore them. After about 30 minutes, I picked him up and rocked him and he always seemed to be relieved and would start to calm down. I did not give into his demands. It just was a way for him to know that I loved him even when he acted bad.
But you know what... A few months ago (he is 5 now), he was acting up yet again and I tried to talk to him. I told him that I knew he was a good boy and that he was just having a hard time with his anger. He was totally blown away that I thought he was a "good boy." In his head, he thought he was bad. This was an eye opener for me.
Because I had my own issues with frustration, I decided to work on me first. I was sick of the war zone. That is still a work in progress, but I feel a lot more calm when dealing with him now.
I explain things to him up front. If we are going to a store, I tell him that I expect him to stand still by me. If he wants to look at something, he can ask me, etc. Then I ask him what he thinks the consequence will be if he does not mind. Sometimes he answers, sometimes not. Then, I tell him exactly what will happen. No favorite TV channel or no playing with a favorite toy, something like that. Just so he knew exactly what would happen if he makes certain CHOICES. I also don't argue. It only gets me wound up. I put the onus back on him. Counting 1...2...3 gives him a warning to change his behavior or deal with consequences.
I also communicate a lot about other's people reactions to when he "acts good" and "acts bad." How the things that happen to him are often influenced by his CHOICES. "Other children may not want to play with someone who ...only wants their way ... does not share ... hits." "If you share your toy, your friend probably want to share his toys with you."
I praise him when I notice he has done something "good", like brushing his teeth without being reminded. I tell how much I appreciate it (Because I do. When you have 3 kids, its a really help when they can do something for themselves. ) Someone knowledgeable told me the ratio of praise to discipline is 4:1. I doubt that I hit that ratio, but I do look for things my kids do right.
None of this is easy for me. I feel like I am talking myself blue in the face. I am naturally quiet and not always willing to communicate verbally. I'm praying the more I communicate now, then eventually I won't have to talk so much later. Or at least, we can talk about more pleasant things.
I will say though that my son is starting to understand that he will not always get his way, and if he cooperates with me, I am willing to cooperate with him. There has been good improvement since I started with this in April.
from a child
My son used to say mazagine and hangaburger instead of magazine and hamburger when he was about 3. I loved that. Not common to most people but it was common to him. :)
If this was MY child??? sm
I would be working my way up the food chain at that school. Who in the he!! at that school thinks they know what my child needs or doesn't need? The last I knew, raising children is up to the parents; not the school, not the state, and CERTAINLY NOT A LESBIAN TEACHER!! I was so upset when I just READ the story that it was all I could do to stop myself from sitting down and writing a letter to the school and giving them a piece of my mind.
To any and all parents in that school district...the threat of recall is an extremely potent weapon. Use it!!
I only have one child, a son..sm
so that helps. I usually spend about $300 on my son, but this year I have spent $400 already on a playstation 3 he has wanted ever since they came out last year. I can't just give him that so I have to buy him some other little things to open. My mom and mother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to buy playstation 3 games because after spending $400 on it I can't buy the games too, which are about $60 each. So I still have to buy some small things for him so I will probably spend about $500 on my son this year. The most I have ever spent on him and he is 10. Like I said it is usually no more than $300. I try to spend no more than $100 on my husband, but this year I know he has said how he would love to have an ipod. So I am going to buy one for about $150. I have my dad to buy for and mom. I know I will probably spend about $50 on my mom. My dad I am not sure yet. In-laws are usually about $20-25 each. My sister about $25. My brother in law about $20. My 2 nephews about $20 each. I also have a niece I will spend about $20-30 on. I try to spend a little more on my niece because my sister in law spends a lot on my son. So you see I have a lot of people to buy for. I don't even know how much that is all together but it ain't cheap. And the people I buy for I have to cause they do for us.
Your child isn't doing bad if he AM
is receiving dental care and has a Wii already. Why are you hell-bent on making money off a fluke? You certainly aren't setting an example your child should follow by selling it and I hope they DON'T give a gift receipt. 
How old is your child?
x
We did that as a child sm
I hate to "date" myself but we were a struggling large family and my Dad went across the street and asked a guy if he could rent his empty lot to grow some vegetables, etc. Not only was it fun but we had tomatoes, lettuce, cucumbers, etc., and it was great. The only negative thing I remember about it was the tomato cut worms, ugly little suckers! I think it's a fun thing to do and a good lesson for the family (and healthy). Be sure the soil is "good" though. You can have it tested for pH at any college lab (I think). Throw in some flowers, that would be cool. I am going to do some big sunflowers this year, I used to hate them but I think we need them and you can bake, salt and eat the seeds. Have fun!!!
Oh it seems the child did not have it when ...sm
they entered the US or at least showed no symptoms. So my mistake. They had no way of knowing the child had it. Poor kid.
I know this and I am sorry your child - sm
and your family had such a horrible experience. In any way, shape or form it is a horrible thing for any family to go through especially when your child suffers and does not make it through. I know not all kids or adults have an easy time, I am not a total dolt though I am sure you think I am, fine. Some get lucky and it does not affect them as much as others for some strange reason. Jen was on dantinomycin and vincristine, the vincristine was quite nasty and that is what gave her the nausea and make her puke the few times she did. She ate a lot of Zofran though and with that she had a pretty good tolerance to it for some reason, she felt the worst though when the dactinomycin was added in, 7 times. I too find the ped onc very depressing and switched jobs so I did not have to type kids anymore, too upsetting, now I only do adults which I can handle pretty well except for the ones who procratinate to sure fire death sentence. Rant all you want, I have no problem with it. I know this is about this woman's choice, again I think she/boy are wrong, some feel she is right, fine. Agree to disagree.
No, he is not..I have a friend...
coming to feed the cats (live in the country, have 8 outside cats!) and 3 inside cats. I feel bad making her come and mix food for him...we live 25 miles from town. A vet told me that he will either eat or just drink water and would be okay...but I will worry about him! I have been cooking extra chicken, turkey, etc. for him..my husband says he is spoiled!
I had a friend who had those and
apparently they just observe them. Maybe you should get a second opinion if you are having pain. Hope you feel better. 
too bad- my best friend
has 'the gift.' That is about the only way I know to put it. She cleans my house for me and she can do in an hour and a half what it would take me all day if not two days to do. And it just looks so clean and bright and shiny when she is done!! LOL I mean, there is clean and then there is CLEAN!! And when she folds my laundry I don't even need to iron it later! We have the best deal worked out- she has one of my vehicles on a sort of 'permanent loan' and I pay the insurance on it and I also try to pay her a little extra here and there, and she comes over and helps me keep my house clean and helps me stay on top of my bills. I have a pretty bad case of ADD.
If you were in this area I would maybe lend her to you for a while, LOL. I know she would like to find just one or two 'regulars' that she could clean for to make a little extra money on the side.
Friend
If she is really a good friend, stick with her. REAL friends love you warts and all. If her behavior is causing you true anguish and she is an acquaintance... go your separate ways. Money comes and goes -- true friends don't.
Lilly
My friend's SON. not MOM!
Sorry for the typo. I am a BAT brain today!
Friend? Some friend! sm
Yes you should be mad, but only at yourself. Giving $$ once I can see. Maybe twice. You have been used by this 'friend'. Doesn't matter how nice you think she is, you have found out otherwise. You are out $$ which you generously gave in thinking it was being used to help her out, yet she has taken advantage of you and therefore, that speaks reams about her character, or lack thereof. I would be disappointed in her and mad at myself for falling for her sob story. I'd tell her exactly how I felt from the heart and would end the friendship since it was based on lies. She has the characteristics of a con woman. Time to cut the losses and move on...and learn!
friend
If it is something that is opening her up to being hurt in anyway most defintely i would tell them. It is their choice then to decide what to do. You know how some parents really shouldn't be parents and others are great parents!
friend?
I actually had to call a parent before. My daughter had asked ex-friend to stop writing things about her in her online diary which she did for a while. When it happened again, with a statement to the effect of you asked me to stop writing about you, too bad!, I called the mother and had a little chat. Never happened again. In this case, she actually used my daughter's name so I brought up the fact that it was libel. Print out the bulletin to show parents if you have to.
Friend
I would want to know if it were my daughter. It might get complicated when you first tell them and could cause problems but in the long run you may very well be saving her life. Please don't hesitate to tell the parents.
been where you are, my friend -
I am so sorry. I know this is hard, but here is an idea to try. Have your vet get you some Buprenex to administer at home. It is a very small amount of liquid you give via syringe inserted between her cheek and her teeth. You shoot it into the mouth. Takes less than a second and is painless. It is absorbed nearly instantly. It also causes far fewer side effects than most pain killers. This has worked like a charm when my cats had to have teeth pulled, for one that had all its teeth pulled due to severe stomatitis, and one who had oral cancer in his jaw. Try baby food (the meat types) and AD canned mixed with Pedialite to get food in her and keep her hydrated. You will know when it *is time* to let her go, but please give these things a try and let us know how it goes! My best to you.
Thank you - about my friend (sm)
She was a Christian and throughout her illness she asked for prayers for God's will to be done, not for her healing (although many of us still prayed for her healing). Many of the people posting on here blowing the horn about what great Christians are, are not acting the way true Christians should. I will admit to everyone that I am confused. I can't answer the questions about the suffering that goes on. I am not going to say that those people suffering just didn't have enough faith. The fact is you are not going to get what you want just because you pray for it. You might and you might not. I still believe, but many things in the world still don't make sense to me. I think somewhere along the way, we have gotten the message confused. I posted a link above about some little children who I think have it right.
A friend of a friend has had it done - sm
She did it about a year ago and has lost over 100 pounds but recently starting having severe problems. They ended up having to take them out as she was unable to eat at all basically; nauseous, constant vomiting, etc. She feels much better now though. Not sure of the details but that is the basic gist of it for her.
I'd be mad...no one else is her friend, so why should you be? (sm)
No reason for you to put up with her any more than anyone else does. She's just a snob - maybe if everyone ignores her for a while she will get the hint!
Friend?
Ever hear of a toxic relationship? Sometimes they are terribly hard to break, but you will be much better off if you cool it with her for a while, just see her when you absolutely have to.
I have a friend that did this went from Bob to Rob - sm
I just had a hard time switching to the new name as I had known him for years as "Bob". To him it was more an acknowledgement of his coming out as gay I think. I could care less that he was gay (and had known for a long time before he "came out") but he got mad that I would not call him Rob and so cut off all contact (we are on opposite coasts now, and then, so it is not a big deal either way). Upsetting to lose a friend over something so stoopid, we were both wrong I'd say, I should have tried harder and he should have cut me some slack as I had been a good friend for years. ---This guy's family you mention probably has the same problem, they know him as "Michael"; he should cut them some slack as that is what they are used to. My brother is named Mike, and we all call him Mike, my SIL is the only one who calls him Michael (he has never asked us to call him Michael though). I think he should just learn to live with it and use his new name with new friends and leave his family alone.
I have a friend like that too, SM
She does have a chronic medical condition, but is doing very well. She exercises with a personal trainer several days a week, takes long walks every day, and recently helped her stepdaughter remodel her home! However, she has a handicapped sticker (she brags about never having to walk very far in the winter) and not only that, is on SS disability. She hasn't worked in several years. Oh -- and if her DH or one of her teenagers runs errands, they take her van so they can get the close spots too. :(
And yeah, maybe I'm being judgemental too, but I agree with you 100%.
friend...
You know I guess some people are different but if someone pays $1000 for something I AM NOT asking to borrow it. I don't like borrowing other people's things. If I break it I feel it is my responsibility to replace it. So I just don't. Some people have no problem with it.
Friend
My good friend had a baby 8 days ago. Beautiful baby boy! Well her husband took off work 2 weeks to spend time with the baby. Her mother also lives with them and helps her too. Her mom also took off a week. Well I am friends with her mom also. We talk on the phone too. I thought I would not call and bother my friend until her husband went back to work. She won't talk on the phone if her husband is home. I know, don't ask. They don't want to take away from time with each other from what I understand. I personally do talk on the phone when my husband is home. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Anyway me and my friend always talked on the phone before the baby was born almost every day. Unless her husband was off work. Well since she has had the baby and her husband went back to work, she just has withdrawn herself. Doesn't want to talk to anyone. Made the comment to her mom that she doesn't want any company. Her mom called yesterday and I knew my friends husband was working so I told her mom tell her to call me later when she gets a chance. The baby sleeps alot so I figured she would. But she didn't. I guess I am just confused. I never went through that. I wanted to talk to friends. After a few days of recooperating I wanted friends to see my baby and all. But I don't understand her. I know every one is different and I just have to respect her wishes but I as well as another friend of hers is confused. I should also mention her baby was born with clubbed feet. She has really been upset about this and asked me in the hospital not to tell anyone. How can this be hidden when the baby will wear casts for a while? I am wondering does this sound like postpartum depression?
friend...
That is why I haven't went. I am respecting wishes. I did not say I was going to go by unannounced. I am honoring her wishes so therefore I am being a real friend. I considered sending a card though.
No, I only had a best friend
back when I was about 12 or 13. I open up to people and think I can trust them and just when I do they turn on me. I don't trust people anymore, been hurt to many times. I see this all the time where I hear ladies talking and hanging out shopping and having a nice time and wish I had that with a friend.
best friend
I have not had a best girlfriend since college. . My fiance is my best friend now. . I like the idea of having a best friend but I think I am not trusting enough. . My daughter has had a best friend since she was 13 - she is 23 now - and I really think they will continue their friendship - I hope so. . I think it is a good thing, just doesn't seem like it is going to happen for me.
I like your friend. . .
xx
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