Is this inconsiderate or what?

My son-in-law stopped by our house on the way to work this morning.  My hubby was pulling out of the driveway and I saw him give a bag to my husband and he left.  My hubby brought the bag to me and said I was told to give this to you until tonight.  He said my SIL was going to have a "surprise" for our daughter this evening after work at a local restaurant but didn't tell my husband about what.  I opened the bag and there was ice cream and pickles inside (?).  Well, the first thing we thought of was pregnant and needless to say, our first grandchild, the look on our face was shock, disappointment, and happiness at the same time.  We just stood there staring at each other, wondering what the **** was going on.  My hubby went on to work and called a few minutes later, saying my SIL had text messaged him and said for me nor my husband to call OUR daughter or him today.  I have sat in tears most of the day.  That jerk (and he is a jerk) just told us our daughter is expecting our grandchild but not to talk to her today.  What is the surprise about?  He already knows, SHE already knows, we already know.  So I guess you have to know my SIL to know he is a controlling person.....my daughter just hasn't figured that out yet.  My husband has been so upset all day about this. Shouldn't we have the joy of being told this by her and expressing our happiness to her?  We are told by him to keep this inside all day.  They are going to see his parents tomorrow at their lakehouse and I suppose tell them together, even though I have a feeling he's already told his mom.   This is a day my husband and I should be so gloriously happy and we feel sad too.  We don't know what to do.  I have just seen my daughter and she said nothing and I can't tell you how sad it was to not be able to express such joy.  This is my baby having a baby and we don't know what's going on.  Our son was here and saw what we saw and he was so happy to be an uncle, grinning from ear to ear, but can't call his sister or go see her and tell her how happy he is.   I have to say I am so angry with him right now.  You have to know how controlling he has been.  My daughter wouldn't see it that way....she thinks it is caring and considerate.  Are you kidding?  What sick pleasure does he get from spoiling all this for us by it not coming from her, the pregnant one, standing there.  Our child. 

We still don't know why we are going to the restaurant or what the surprise is about.  After all, they already know, we already know, so why haven't they come to our home and shared this with us?  I have to say my husband is so upset by this right now, he has called from work several times today and could not even focus on an important meeting this morning.  To be honest, I am not at all sure how I will react once we are together this evening.  Is this just a dumb way of doing this or has anyone else had this happen like this?  We are just dumbfounded about it all and think this is a very cruel way of doing this.   

• Is this inconsiderate or what? - sm
  • Does not make sense to me - MTinNC
  • maybe you daughter told her husband not to tell anyone so they could do it together -- then - anon
    • Yep, I've thought of all that but knowing her - none of it makes sense.......nm
      • ok, and only you know. talk with her privately? (hope all works out well) - anon
  • Try to put aside your animosity towards your SIL - lt
    • See message..... - just concerned
  • I think I would wait until the dinner - sm
    • Yea, but do I say hey by the way, your husband - told us you're expecting?
      • keep us posted... - Dawn

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