Is it rude to ask a house guest
Posted By: Texas girl on 2008-04-30
In Reply to:
how long they will be staying. My MIL came Sunday to go to a doctor's appointment Monday. Well, the doctor appointment is over and it is already Wednesday and she is still here. She does tell us pretty much when she is coming but there is no end in sight. She is super sensitive and cries a lot with "you don't want me" so I don't know how to ask without any water works. I just want to know what to expect.
Complete Discussion Below:  marks the location of current message within thread
The messages you are viewing
are archived/old.
To view latest messages and participate in discussions, select
the boards given in left menu
Other related messages found in our database
Is it rude to ask to stay at someone's house (sm)
My husband wants us to go to Orlando and stay with his old work buddy and his family (me, him and our two children) to go to Disney. He hates to spend money on a hotel. I have not seen these people in about 10 years - my husband still talks to the guy occasionally on the phone. I barely know the wife. They did not invite us, my husband just wants to call and ask if we can all stay there a couple of nights. I am really uncomfortable with this and said no and he is mad because he thinks it is perfectly acceptable. Is it??
Are you the hostess or the guest for this Thanksgiving? If a guest, what
s
you may not be bitter, angry, or uptight, but you are RUDE rude rude!
You talk about being attacked when you are the one calling names... yes someone called you Doctor to start with, which was pretty childish, but they were saying so because you acted so matter-of-factly about diagnosing someone saying they were just having vivid dreams, and then going off on a tangent about their Xanax use...
Xanax affects EVERYONE differently so just because your husband is a certain way does not mean that is the same for this person. I take Xanax to fly... guess what it is a LIFE SAVER! I never take it to sleep nor do I ever take it for anything else...
maybe you are being rude because you are reacting, but my guess is you will have a response to me pointing this out... and it might be rude. just a guess.
Rude people deserve a rude response-but an idea (sm)
I am very kind-hearted, and even a sucker at times but when someone is very rude and disgusting, I have no problem telling them to go away. If she doesn't want to completely cut this woman out of her life, she needs to say something like, "I have decided that I am only going to be able to have you come over on Wednesdays." She can make up an excuse like, "I am not getting enough time to myself" "I haven't had time for my other friends" or just act like she feels like she desperately needs a regular schedule, so "Wednesday is your day." See ya next week! If she shows up on a day that is not her day she can say, "Suzie Q, your day is Wednsday - I'm sorry, but I am really determined to stick to my schedule"
I'm a guest
We go to my parent's house every year. We usually just bring some cornbread or some type of dessert.
Guest...
And all the guests bring a covered dish, a dessert, and a drink. The hostess does the meat (turkey) and a veggie or 2, plus desserts...plus all the cleaning, planning, etc., which is why I'm glad it's not my year to hostess!
Until they become family they are a guest...
and should sleep in the guest room like anyone else! Totally agree :)
Guest books are not new
I had one at my wedding 22 years ago. I was also guest book attendant for a friend from high school. Got there early, got to see everyone as they came in and say hi to people I hadn't seen in awhile. Not that big of a deal. Of course, she didn't tell me what I had to wear, either.
No, I mean she is the ONLY guest of honor and I am ignored (sm)
We have to celebrate how she wants, where she wants, etc. and she is lavished with attention while I am barely acknowledged as being a mother that day at all. Of course she still qualifies as a mother - but I am one too!
Why do they need someone in charge of the guest book?
You leave it on the table by the placecards, and people sign it when they get their table assignments. I have never seen anyone in charge of a guest book before. Talk about micromanaging.
Your post, she is always the guest of honor?
even though you are still raising children does not make sense to me. Do you mean once a child grows up you don’t qualify for a mother anymore?
The other day Racheal Ray had a guest with a good suggestion.
She soaked a cotton ball with vanilla extract, placed in a cute, little glass dish and set it in her fridge. Bet that would work for you!!!
The guest list is up to the bride & groom....sm
no one else! Of course if grandma wants to foot the bill for the wedding then I'm sure they'd consider her desires.
I once was assigned guest book duty.
Like you, I didn't know what that entailed. When I arrived at the reception, I was told to hold the thing as people walked up and signed it. Basically, I was a human podium. If that's what the bride wants you to do, tell her to leave it on the table! How rude of her to expect so much! Show up in the red dress and don't even sign the silly guest book!
This new guest book thing is dumb anyway
something else to add to the list of a gazilion ways to fawn all over the couple! Gag. Who really cares? Can you believe people are so full of themselves these days? It's truly mind boggling. And with the divorce rate being 50% or higher, why do they even bother?
I'd definitely be there in my red dress for sure, would maybe even stuff my bra so my cleavage popped out!
Anything to get out of the dumb guest book thing!
It's actually insulting, you too are supposed to be a guest :)
Let us know what happens!!!
Missouri wedding guest...please report in! :) nm
s
What's the point of a guest book, anyway? They'll have the cards and
s
Totally agast, unwelcomed guest, how to handle
Last Christmas my husband's nephew was invited for Christmas breakfast and his friend came along. They were from out of town. They about ate us out of house and home and the friend after breakfast helped himself to the remote, changed channels and then spread across the couch and decided to go to sleep. These guys have no manners (older group here and they are hip-hop type guys). They later went to another family's home where they again were unmannerly. Get this, now the nephew calls (we had invited some other people) and he told husband he said he would be glad to give these people a ride! I know he probably is planning to have another dinner here (now not only his friend is in town but also wife and 4 kids). I would be so mortified to have all those folks show up, I probably would be very, very rude and it would be Christmas. My husband is not confrontational and did not say anything when his nephew said he offered to bring others and from another state. Ok, what would you do in this situation? Thanks!
Brunch guest who can't have dairy or salt - snowed in!
Out of ideas! Also, looking for simple recipe for brunch requiring stuff I have on hand. Martha always has some confounded ingredient I never heard of. Lost my hash brown recipe. Have frozen hash browns, sour cream, cr. chicken soup, butter & chips, forgot how I put them all together last time. Locked in, more snow coming, zero degrees in NE, don't even know if people will make it here. I'm frustrated. Have a spiral ham on hand, thank goodness! Sounds like I'll be cooking but will they come in the stormy weather. Darned if I do, darned if I don't! The no dairy, no salt thing is driving me up the walls.
Oh well, have a happy holiday. Tip: Put furniture polish or cooking oil on your snow shovel and the snow won't stick.
Need help with ideas for remodeling house and decorating. We bought a house
in fair condition about 10 years ago, got into some medical problems, and have just now paid off the mortgage. Hubby and I agreed we would do nothing to the house for remodeling because we wanted to pay it off first, then the medical bills. I need to know of some websites/magazines/books to start researching for how to go about this. These will be major repairs - roof, septic, basement, windows, pretty much everything except wiring. Where do we start? Maybe hire a general contractor just to do an evaluation and give us recommendations? Hubby is a handyman but cant seem to get a handle on where to begin. We would like to do as much of the work ourselves as possible - labor of love and all that...
Thanks for any and all kind suggestions!
A guest book attendant is not a bridal party member and should
s
Truly don't mean to be rude, but... sm
You called him a sociopath, then asked "doesn't he have any remorse or guilt?" Well, no, not if he's a sociopath. (Which I also think he is, BTW.)
That's a big part of what makes someone a sociopath/physiopath (aka antisocial personality disorder) - not having a conscience or the ability to empathize about the feelings of others, among other things. There are, (unfortunately) a lot of people in our society who are sociopaths, to some degree or other. It's pretty scary.
He's a sickening man. I've always wondered what it must be like for his two kids, being raised by the father who murdered your mother. It always seemed insane to me that he was given custody of them.
Because they are rude.
x
How rude!
So what if you misread . . . I thought the recipe you shared sounded really good, and easy to boot! I personally would probably "cook a chicken breast" rather than using canned, but then I always change recipes to suit my taste (doesn't mean I wouldn't eat the canned chicken). Anyway, I thank you for sharing.
rude
If it was me I would have stopped and said what did you say. I am sure they probably would have shut up. Then i would have asked where do you live, so I can talk to your parents. LOL! You people are telling her to consider the source but come on if it was you walking you would have been ticked off!
please don't be rude
I'm a physical therapy graduate (party working as an MT) and my wife's a nurse. These are just our initial income since we're just starting. I'm working on my state board as Physical Therapist. I would not think that you're just rude to me.
No. I think it is rude.
nm
I think it's rude...if they ask okay, if not no way!!!
nm
You are so rude....That's all I can say to you. nm
.
Once again you are rude
I don't understand why you don't think your replies are rude. She was replying to Ms. Done with what she has been through. I don't find that her case is all that different. I was reading all the posts below and actually got lost so I'll post here. I'll tell you what I have learned. When you are growing up and your parents are miserable together that is what children think a relationship is supposed to be like because they don't know any better. They think its okay to insult and belittle their spouse, they think its okay to fight all the time. It's not. I wrote in my post and I'll write it again. Children are a lot stronger than we believe. The children always come first before anything, but when you are in an abusive relationship you cannot honestly say to a person "hey, so what if your being abused the bruises are not visible, stay in, keep letting him treat you like this, because there is not a visible injury the kids don't care". You know what. The kids DO care. Kids want their parents to be happy. When the parents are happy they have so much more to give to the kids instead of having to hide the misery they are going through. Sure sometimes its hard in the beginning but kids are genuinely more happy when their parents are happy. And they will in turn learn to treat their spouses with respect. Of course someone should try counseling before just up and leaving, but if you have a spouse that writes you letters pointing out your errors and flaws and then feels they have done nothing wrong that is not healthy. If that spouse will not agree to counseling then there are another alternative and that is to leave. Do not stay in an abusive relationship and keep being abused by a spouse because you have to stay there for your kids. That was what people did in the 60s and 70s and probably before then. This is the year 2008. There are better ways to live.
would it be rude?
to just tell your family members you are making a christmas dinner and invite everyone over, no presents allowed? We just bought a house and are not in the best financial situation at the moment. I have tried hinting around at doing things like dirty santa or drawing names but no one likes that idea. So I want to scrap presents all together. I am working on Christmas day so that would be a good excuse not to visit anyone that day. We are also in a central location and that would make it easier to have everyone over to our house. What do you think?
How Rude!!!!
Good for you! The fact that she told you to "hold on" while she finished texting would have sent me right over the edge! Congrats to you for teaching her a lesson her parents obviously don't care to teach. I have 2 teenage girls and we have made that rule quite clear that they will lose ALL privileges if they even think of texting while driving or talking while driving. The phone must be turned off when they drive and we have "tested" them on it many times just to make sure they are following the rules.
How rude !
Why bother posting something so rude? Why not just ignore this thread and be on your way?
I am in no way trying to be rude,,,,,,but
what does your post have to do with this thread? I personally wanted to adopt children until I met my now husband and realzed that if I could give birth that is what I wanted to do. Feeling selfish, my brother would love to have a child but his wife does not. It is a very personal choice, and I honestly think when the time is ready you will know. If you don't feel it, don't do it. It is so okay to not want to have children. You are not doing anything wrong. I wish there were more people out there that don't want children and accidentally have them would have used protection. Do it only when you know in your heart that you are ready. Trust me, you will know when you are ready.
who is rude
Negative thoughts you are giving right back, you are no good obviously.
I didn't start it but I can always finish it, so get over yourself like you are the only one to have an opinion. people like you make me SICK
you just hate for no reason hate hate hate
you should be so proud!
They are not being rude!
You said " I think it's pretty rude of smokers to smoke inside when youre sharing with a nonsmoker anyway."
I think its really, really rude to move into a house where there are smokers and just expect them to stop smoking in the house. Because YOU don't like it. Well, maybe they don't want to leave their comfort zone, drop what they're doing and go out into whatever weather and deal with the bugs, etc. just so YOU can be all comfortable instead. Ever consider that?
And what's next - you inform them they can't eat meat in the house because YOU are a vegan, or some other fool thing?
There are few enough places left that smokers can do their thing in comfort. But you can bet every time they find one, sooner or later a nonsmoker will barge into that place and think they are entitled to punish and banish them for smoking. Save everyone some grief and wait until you find a nonsmoking house to live in!
YOU are rude
and actually they ARE desperate
did you even READ MY POST?
i NEVER ASKED THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE.
get it again?
I NEVER ASKED THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE.
They offered. I ASKED YOU PEOPLE IF IT WAS RUDE IF I ASKED THEM TO! EVEN AFTER THEY OFFERED.
what dont you get about that! and i said if they invite a nonsmoker to live with them, then i think it is rude. and by the way, they like me very much.
you talk about me getting over myself? you have no idea of the situation! MY QUESTION WAS HOW DO I GET THE SMOKE SMELL OUT OF MY ROOM, MY CLOTHES!
and i got jumped on for expecting them to smoke outside.
TELL ME WHERE I STATED "I EXPECT THEM TO SMOKE OUTSIDE NOW THAT I LIVE HERE".
YOU need to get over YOUrself you are obviously trying to be better than everyone and cut me down for something i never even did.
Not exactly sure why you think this is rude, though...
8 is a big litter for a dog and an average litter for a pig. How is this not a "litter" of babies?
They are not being rude, they just
want to tell you that you should not be lenient and give in every time to the despicable behaviour of your father.
It may be rude.
I think it is worse to be invited to a wedding for a person you have not seen in 20 years. What possible reason would they invite her except for a gift? Has she heard from the bride or groom during the whole engagement process, or did she get a call that said "hey I met a great person and they may be the one". I bet not. But when it comes time to get gifts, they send to everyone they have come in contact with since they were born.
I think the bride and groom(any bride and groom) need to think about how much cost is involved to their guests, bridal party, family, etc, when they plan a wedding and not be offended if people can't participate.
I said it was very sad, do you consider that rude?
It is a sad thing when you possibly have to leave a note, the possibility you will not be there for a child to let them know. What is not sad about that? What is rude about that? Are you sure you read the post correctly? I find it tremendously sad and stand by my first posting. As far as the person in high school you said became pregnant a second time, not trying. After having a first pregnancy she should have known the cause. Birth control usually works in cases like that, condoms, etc.
I think you are very rude. At least if you
cannot give good advice or encouragement in this case you shouldn't even comment. She is down and you trample on her. It is not true that people who cannot get a job in these times are lazy. My neighbor is a registered nurse and she is already loking 4 months for a job and did not get hired yet. She is 32 yrs old.
Regarding the eviction:
If she does not pay rent, the LL has the legal right to evict her. If he is 'nasty', a lot of them are, and he really wants her out, he can speed things up to get her out.
I would not be so harsh, maybe tomorrow it hits you.
New poster or not, you are rude. nm
m
I don't think its rude per se - I'm in the same boat
I constantly have people ask me why I'm not married and why I don't have children. What I find odd is the men - they will ask me "can you not have children?" I will ask them "what kind of question is that??" And the response I get is "well, women tend to have babies at the drop of a hat," or "women just get pregnant without thinking twice about it." All kinds of responses. I've even been asked if I'm a lesbian (which I'm sure I'll get pounced on, but I find that extremely insulting).
I guess the bottom line is that in this day and age, if a woman does not have a child, is not shacking up with some guy after the second date, or has never been married, then there must be something wrong with her in the eyes of society. However, try asking the woman that has 4 kids by 4 different guys why she never married the daddies or why she doesn't use contraception, and boy oh boy, stand back or run for the hills.
My answer has always been - I never met the right one. Which usually gets a response of "maybe you're just too picky."
I could go on and on about this. But think about this - the women that ask you these questions are usually the same women that say one of the following: "Men are dogs, or men are pigs" and "oh god, I couldn't imagine being single and dating. I'll take what I've got at home over your life anytime."
Makes you laugh doesn't it!
Rude or not, we threw ourselves our
own housewarming party too.
We weren't expecting gifts. It was just a fun way to have everyone over, have fun and break the house in.
I didn't register, but a lot of people brought gifts that I happened to like a lot. If you register, I would only tell the people who ask if you are. I wouldn't pass out cards in invites. We also received a lot of gift cards as well. I just put those to use for buying school clothes though since we spent so much on the actual party.
It is rude but common.
I guess you can assume the non-responders will not be coming but it is not uncommon for people that do not respond to show up anyway. If that happens, embarrass them loudly when they arrive! :) I found that including an email address on the invite helps, some people are just weird about calling, especially if it is to tell you that they can't make it.
Agree, it's rude
I try to always RSVP, especially if I can't make it. I figure if someone is going to the trouble of inviting me, the least I can do is respond.
ya know if all Americans were rude like you, they
dense because you don't know how to get over your rude-sounding self
here, let me help............. 
and NOT all who came were legal - Ellis Island or no Ellis Island......sheesh - talk about dense......
Rude Husband
Your husband was rude. You need to discuss it with him in private. Is he under a lot of stress right now? What is going on to make him behave this way? Is this new? Ongoing? YOU are your child's advocate and role model. Children want and need friends. Their friends will often offend depending upon how they are raised, the manners they have been taught, etc. because they are children. Your husband should not have responded on a child's level if he felt the remark was offensive. Confront your husband and demand that he treat everyone with respect in your home. Do not settle for less.
Best wishes!
Didn't mean to be rude
I guess if I had read the previous thread it would have made more sense. It just seemed so random though.
I agree that was rude s/m
i'm a nonsmoker with a child that has multiple severe environmental allergies, takes shots and is on meds. He cannot dare go into a Waffle House because of the smoking. I detest that they allow smokers to smoke in places children frequent--we do not go bowling or dining at certain places because of this. Hubby is a musician and it chokes me whenever we go to his shows and i have to breathe in that smoke, but i know what i'm getting into when I go and don't complain.
BUT your situation however, was totally uncalled for by the rude person you encountered. You are minding your own business, smoking in a designated area. Last I checked this is a free country and you had the right to smoke 10 cigs at once if you wanted. People need to get off their high horses and realize we can't all be alike; that's what makes this country so great!
|
