Is it fair to attack her parenting?

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Is that a step away from the school calling the CPS?  I visited my aunt at a resturant she was telling me about her children's children.  She said the 12 yo was acting up really bad in school and he is about to get thrown out.  Every word out of that woman's mouth was it is because the DIL won't.... or the DIL doesn't........  Aunt has the kids more than the DIL does and she is constantly critising the DIL on everything.  She had their 2 yo son with her and he started grunting obviously messing his diaper and she hit him on the nose (not hard) and said STOP!  Then he threw up and she covered his mouth as if to stop him and it did not work and somehow that was all DIL fault also.   DIL would tell aunt what the pedi said and aunt disagrees that the pedi don't know what they are talking about, that she raised 3 boys and they were going to do things her way.  She disagrees with what the parenting classes are teaching.  You spank kids and spank them hard, she ran around with a hairbrush and a fly swatter when her kids were little.  Her DIL called me one night in tears because at some family function aunt started in on her and saying that she is incompetant and she needed aunt and DIL threw her plate of food at her. Aunt got peturbed because DIl was feeding her then 1 year-old cheerios.  I told the DIL that there is a government programs out there that can help her pay for childcare that she does not need to rely aunt.  I got the number from my daycare director and gave it to her.  She never called.  I had also told the DIL that she better start listening to the school and to the pedis and not the aunt because she is the one responsible for those kids and if aunt does something they are going to hold her responsible.  The aunt won't let her use anyone but her.  She is very bossy and the matriarch of the family.  I had offered to keep the kids on weekends but I am not good enough either.  I don't make my kids mind and aunt would have to work to hard undoing everything I did.  Funny, the school told me that whatever I was doing with my 5 year old to do it again with my 18 month old.  The DIL and son are mentally handicapped, both were in special education class in high school and both are janitors of the school which is probably the best job they will ever get.   Think they would do well though and their kids would thrive better if they had a better support system.  I wished there was something I could do to help but they did not want any of my help. I just don't like to go around them anymore.  I have turned down every offer my aunt had to watch my children.  No way.   

He is so smart.  I got his first grade card a couple of weeks ago, 2 Fs (Science and Computer Lit) and a D+ in English.  The rest of his grades were acceptable.  The problem isn't that he doesn't understand the subject matter in these classes, but that he simply doesn't do the work, doesn't turn in homework assignments, NOTHING! 

I started having trouble with him last year and he barely passed the 7th grade.  Now, here it is the beginning of a new school year and he's doing the exact same thing.  He's grounded, of course, but that doesn't seem to make a difference to him.  Last night his English teacher called to tell me he hasn't turned in any assignments since the beginning of the new quarter, that he simply sits there at his desk doing nothing while the rest of the class works.  She said he seems to be easily distracted.

When I talk to him about school, he gives me attitude.  Last night after I hung up with the English teacher, I was very angry, and proceeded to ground him longer and took away his IPod.  He had the audacity to say "mom, you're really making me mad (only he didn't say "making me mad").  I took step toward him because I was about ready to slap his disrespectiful mouth and he said "you better not lay a hand on me."  He threatened me!  So I basically took a deep breath and said "son you do not want to take me on."  And then I proceeded to tell him that he would be staying after school with his English teacher until further notice and that I will be picking him up every day after school to make sure he brings home all his books and homework.

I don't know what else to do.  I have asked his teachers to keep me informed via email cause I'm always at my computer during the day.  His Science teacher just emailed me and said he didn't turn in his assignment today.  After all that last night and he STILL didn't turn in his assignment!

I tried to be understanding because he's at a new school in a new town, but socially he's happier than I've seen him in a long time.  He has made a bunch of new friends, he's planning on going out for the basketball team.  At first I tried to blame his attitude problems on the move and the new school, but he was doing the exact same thing last year at his old school.  His dad and I have separated and maybe that has something to do with it, but life has been less stressful without his dad here, even my son has said so.

Please give me some advice.  I've thought about talking to the school counseling, going to family counseling, having my son see a therapist.  I just don't know what to do.  I feel like I'm failing as a parent here and I don't know what to do.

Thanks for letting me spill my guts.

No one was attacking anyone's culture, that I could see.  The OP was venting and I quite frankly agree with most of what's said on here.

I'm as liberal and open minded as anyone out there, but I have to tell you that it horked me off to no end when the housekeepers in the hotels I worked for couldn't understand me and what I was asking them to do for a guest because none of them spoke English.  I had potential customers come up to the front desk to try to get a room and then have the nerve to get pissy with me when I didn't speak Spanish.  Hello.  I may be in New Mexico, but it's still the freaking United States.

I have worked for ESL doctors who were very aware that they had an accent and went to the trouble to spell words for me that they prounced differently.  I loved those doctors.  I have also worked for other ESLs who sped through it like many domestic docs do, had the phone or the recorder on the other end of the desk, and quite frankly didn't give a rat's butt if what was on the other end understood them or not.  Those doctors got back exactly what they gave me - garbage.

I have to say, my sister told me that Slumdog Millionaire was a great movie.  I have no desire to see it..................call me prejudiced, but I don't want to hear the accents if I don't have to.

Let's say it's 6.15pm and you're driving home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

You're really tired, and frustrated……

YOU ARE REALLY STRESSED AND UPSET ….

Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw.

You are only five miles from the hospital nearest your home.

Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far

WHAT TO DO??

YOU HAVE BEEN TRAINED IN CPR, BUT THE GUY THAT CONDUCTED THE COURSE DID NOT TELL YOU HOW TO PERFORM IT ON YOURSELF !!!

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE?

SINCE MANY PEOPLE ARE ALONE WHEN THEY SUFFER A HEART ATTACK, WITHOUT HELP, THE PERSON WHOSE HEART IS BEATING IMPROPERLY AND WHO BEGINS TO FEEL FAINT, HAS ONLY ABOUT 10 SECONDS LEFT BEFORE LOSING CONSCIOUS

WHAT TO DO??
 
 

ANSWER:

DO NOT PANIC, BUT START COUGHING REPEATEDLY AND VERY VIGOROUSLY.

A DEEP BREATH SHOULD BE TAKEN BEFORE EACH COUGH, THE COUGH MUST BE DEEP AND PROLONGED, AS WHEN PRODUCING SPUTUM FROM DEEP INSIDE THE CHEST.

A BREATH AND A COUGH MUST BE REPEATED ABOUT EVERY TWO SECONDS WITHOUT LET-UP UNTIL HELP ARRIVES, OR UNTIL THE HEART IS FELT TO BE BEATING NORMALLY AGAIN.

DEEP BREATHS GET OXYGEN INTO THE LUNGS AND COUGHING MOVEMENTS SQUEEZE THE HEART AND KEEP THE BLOOD CIRCULATING. THE SQUEEZING PRESSURE ON THE HEART ALSO HELPS IT REGAIN NORMAL RHYTHM. IN THIS WAY, HEART ATTACK VICTIMS CAN GET TO A HOSPITAL

ARTICLE PUBLISHED ON N.º 240 OF JOURNAL OF GENERAL HOSPITAL ROCHESTER

TELL AS MANY OTHER PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE ABOUT THIS.

IT COULD SAVE THEIR LIVES !!! DON'T EVER THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT PRONE TO HEART ATTACK AS YOUR AGE IS LESS THAN 25 OR 30. NOWADAYS DUE TO THE CHANGE IN THE

LIFE STYLE, HEARTATTACK IS FOUND AMONG PEOPLE OF ALL AGE GROUPS.

I learned in journalism class that a reporter must be fair. So would you say the same for Pepsi?

Just kidding - will have to look further into this. Water is very good for you. Don't get enough of it myself, although I do like a lot of tea, so I guess that makes up for the water consumption per day. Now if I could only drink the tea without sugar - that would be healthy. Try honey but kind of messy, usually give up on it, always in a hurry.

On another board I frequent there is a discussion going on and I'd love to hear your take on it. It's about a possible law to have welfare recipients take urine tests (for drugs use) in order to receive payments.

You like? You hate? Why?

p

I have 2 with balances on them.  However, I have not used them in a while and have been paying at least minimum and more when I can on time.  I don't know what we are going to do.   Our mortgage or car payments are all paid up so we dont' have to worry about that but if this happens we may have to put a lein on our house and vehicles.  Which brings me to another OMG.  I don't know if our vehicles are going to be worth anything since now they are really pushing Hybrids. I don't know if they are going to make it a law or not, but if they do, it is another scary thing.  How are we going to afford car payments.  How is my mom, my MIL and my dad going to afford car payments like that when they only bring in $800 to$900 a month on their SS if even that.     

I do have a bicycle, which i do plan on ridding more often but dang it hurts my legs and my tail to ride it.