In the same boat
Posted By: MQMT1 on 2008-05-31
In Reply to: Was married to a man with zero drive sm - I can relate
This has happened to me for 7 years now. Even though we are not young, we are not ready for no intimacy! He does not seem interested in anything, just cuddling and kissing, nothing else. I get so frustrated, and it does hurt my feelings. When you talk to him about this he gets furious.
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I was in the same boat 20 yrs ago
It was damned if you do, damned if you don't. Nerves were on edge all the time. I really wish you the best.
Here's what I did: I took our two kids and got OUT before he killed all of us. I have never looked back, never regretted having to work two and three jobs to support us. It wasn't easy, we struggled, but we were SO much happier not having to tippy-toe around him anymore.
Kids are grown now. My son sees his dad, still tries to please him, very sad. Daughter has NOTHING to do with him and won't let her daughter see him.
Sorry didn't mean to turn this into a rant or a book, it just struck a chord with me.
Not saying that's what you should do at all, just that's what I did. I will say a prayer for you all. And for those of us who have survived it. God help us.
In the same boat.....
My son got his learners in June and so far, seems responsible when it comes to driving. He doesn't like a lot of talking and no radio on. (Of course, we know teens change overnight) I am just going to let him have a learners for awhile because my insurance company doesn't charge if he has a learners. Maybe his senior year, we will allow him to start driving some and put him on insurance. But I have to agree with the other poster, 15 is very young, even though there are responsible kids out there. It is the other drivers on the road we worry about. We were driving the other day and someone pulled right out in front of my son!! I was so mad!! Good luck!!
I am in the same boat.
I saw my high school sweetheart after 20 some years. The sparks just flew again. It was a wonderful moment. We are both married with 2 children. I live out of state luckily. We are both in not so great marriages, but are staying with our spouses for the kids sake. He said he would wait for me, so who knows, maybe we will be together again some day. I really hope so.
in the same boat...
I am pretty much in the same situation and can relate to what you are going through. My problems with debt started because I decided to quit a job making 45,000/yr to do medical transcription in which I am lucky if I make 20,000/yr. I could not keep up with my own personal bills and instead of confiding in my husband, I put bills on my credit cards and every payperiod swore to myself that my paycheck would increase, but easier said than done since I do VR and the pay stinks. My husband thinks MTing is ridiculous for the pay and hard work we do. I was insisting upon staying with it and had too much pride to let him know I could not pay my own personal bills. When I did finally tell him he was upset that I would put myself in debt, knowing that as a couple, our debts affect each other. I am now seeking help from CCCS, a counseling service that has a very good reputation. Just make sure you pick a reputable, nonprofit agency, and they will put you on the right track back to financial stability. Needless to say, I am going back to the work I used to do and doing MTing on the side.
Best of luck to you!
Same boat
I am in the same boat you are in. I will not be putting up Christmas lights either. I love decorating my house with Christmas lights, but not this year. 
Same boat here.
DH doesn't like pumpkin either so unless I make it to take to someone else's house, I won't get any. I can't bear a whole pie going to waste and I can't bear a whole pie going on my hips! LOL
boat next to you
I can sympathize with you. Have had problems with parotids for several years and it is terrible. No tumor was seen, but have passed a stone after a sialodochoplasty done at St. Louis. Make sure you have absolutely the best surgeon for this type of thing. Makes all the difference. Will be praying for you also. Keep us informed please.
I don't think its rude per se - I'm in the same boat
I constantly have people ask me why I'm not married and why I don't have children. What I find odd is the men - they will ask me "can you not have children?" I will ask them "what kind of question is that??" And the response I get is "well, women tend to have babies at the drop of a hat," or "women just get pregnant without thinking twice about it." All kinds of responses. I've even been asked if I'm a lesbian (which I'm sure I'll get pounced on, but I find that extremely insulting).
I guess the bottom line is that in this day and age, if a woman does not have a child, is not shacking up with some guy after the second date, or has never been married, then there must be something wrong with her in the eyes of society. However, try asking the woman that has 4 kids by 4 different guys why she never married the daddies or why she doesn't use contraception, and boy oh boy, stand back or run for the hills.
My answer has always been - I never met the right one. Which usually gets a response of "maybe you're just too picky."
I could go on and on about this. But think about this - the women that ask you these questions are usually the same women that say one of the following: "Men are dogs, or men are pigs" and "oh god, I couldn't imagine being single and dating. I'll take what I've got at home over your life anytime."
Makes you laugh doesn't it!
Going out on our boat to soak up some
rays, floating on my lounge chair raft and then stopping at one of the restaurants on the lake for lunch. Yes, I use sunscreen and a lot of it. Have a canopy on the boat to sit in the shade. It is going to be hot here in the northeast too. Can't wait.
I'm kinda in the same boat
My 30+ year old stepson is supposed to be moving out today. Believe me, it won't last. He is the filthist person I have ever met and for his age is VERY naive and gullable. Won't be long before others see what I have been trying to tell them for years. He's lazy, selfish and totally irresponsible. It's just a matter of time before he gets a DUI. He totally disregards any advice or help my husband gives him and listens to his loser friends. If my husband lets him move back in.........that's the day I move out! I've got news for my husband....HE WILL BE PAYING MY RENT --- since he has the money to keep supporting his ADULT (and I say that loosely) children! Good riddins' to him! 
I am in the same boat. I have no desire to go to my in laws for sm
Christmas Eve and my husband is making us all go. It's the biggest fight every year. I am dreading it so much. I wish he would listen to me, but he won't. I don't see a long future for me and my husband. It's always his way or NO way. I should just say I am not going and not go, but IF I do that then Christmas morning will be miserable. He will take it out on me and the kids. I think he's just like them!
He pouted all day Thanksgiving because I refused to go to his mother's house where his siblings (the culprits) would be. The thing is this: They've never liked me. Never. It's been almost 10 years and everything is my fault. For a long time it scarred me, but then I realized that it wasn't me, it's them. And then to have my husband force me to be around this hateful, evil people is beyond understanding. I am NOT looking forward to Christmas eve. I swear, I just want to stay here (I've already celebrated with great friends and my family) and just want to enjoy Christmas eve and Christmas with people (my kids) whom I adore. But, it won't be that way when you have people in your lives (unfortunately) who are exactly the way you just described.
Ugggh. Not looking forward to this weekend. And to top it off, my birthday is Saturday. I told him that I wanted to NOT go to his mom's house for my birthday. That made him mad.
Oh, and don't tell me to put a smile on my face and be nice or put up with it. Until you walk a mile in my shoes where you have 3 sisters and 1 brother who think I am the antichrist, the last thing you can do is smile at these people....And I am a very kind and nice person. these people bring out the worst in me.
She is in the same boat, married and divorced twice - sm
I would not make any assumptions regarding either party. Maybe his wives cheated, maybe he did, maybe no one did and they just grew apart; maybe her husband cheated, maybe she did, maybe her DHs (both of them) woke up one day and said hey I don't want to be married anymore, lots of fish in the sea. Who knows. She will find out as she gets to know him better if he is a jerk or not (i.e. if he was the root cause of his divorce or not). My DH was divorced (first marriage and hopefully only for me) and granted I know things now that I did not know then, but she did leave him and divorce him but I see some of the reasons now and know he was not totally innocent in the whole thing, but I also know there was a lot more to it. I don't think it is just one person's "fault" for a divorce, they both contribute, generally one more than the other but both people are definitely involved (it is their marriage). I say have fun, and see where it goes, just don't get all lovey dovey and become blind, try to be smart at the same time.
Nope..no gravy boat.
Mine did not come with one either. Below are a few on ebay that might work. I like the last one too because it is round and could be used with one of your larger saucers. Hmm. I did not have S&P shakers either. Believe it or not I use these as my every day dishes. They are very, very durable, but then again I do not have children either. My mother always said, what good is china if you can only use it once a year! They do look lovely at christmas time on a gold charger plate. I also used candles shaped like pine cones and/or pine cones in the center piece. I paint also so I will probably end up feeling sorry for you and paint you one!
280110136597
140113712960
300066983736
120114143571
I love Banana Boat...
EveryDay Glow Daily Moisturizing Lotion - Hint of Color! I just bought 2 bottles today for $4.96 each, probably the cheapest there is. It works great! It gets darker every day you apply, and it's just like lotion so it goes on nicely. I'm extremely white, and this gives me a nice color without looking fake. I use medium skin color. There's also a darker one. I usually put my own peachy lotion on afterwards to take away the smell.
Thanx! Saw a boat named that once, but it suits me better!
/
Navy? On a boat with thousands of hor*y men? I don't think so. nm
d
Oh gosh, I missed the boat on this one!
I just posted what I thought was awesome, not what I was dreaming was awesome! I have no imagination.
Okay, calorie-free ice cream would be my awesome thing. With Cool Whip. Calorie-free Cool Whip.
Same boat, just too afraid to post it.
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When I asked why it was ok for him to pick out a truck and a boat without me (sm)
he blamed it on the fact that I had bought the kids a $300 plastic pool last summer. He used that same excuse again about the shed. "you picked out a pool!" How dare I pick out anything?
He may be....but $300 pool versus a $30,000 truck, and a boat, etc., etc.? nm
x
You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING
He has more (material things) than you do and most men of 60s+. He has a home that he has worked to own -- not given to him! Material things do not mean much to me, however. I make my own living. He has an engineering and Masters degree. How many degrees do you have? He is very athletic! He has had olympic training. He is a wonderful man who MANY of you would desire and don't have. He knows that pleases a woman and EXACTLY what he wants in life.
Most important to me is that he expresses that he is a "God-fearing" man. There is NOTHING in life more important to me than that!
He has no kids -- not a priority in life for him. He is too wonderful to describe! I know more about him than you will ever know about your partner, because we COMMUNICATE.
Sorry for your skepticism. But I will take it with a grain of salt, as it deserves to be taken.
This man is an open book -- but not only that, but he hides nothing.
WOW is all I can say about him ! Have never met a man like this in my entire life! He wants to please me, and he is certainly capable of doing that.
You are missing the boat entirely and totally negative when you no NOTHING
He has more (material things) than you do and most men of 60s+. He has a home that he has worked to own -- not given to him! Material things do not mean much to me, however. I make my own living. He has an engineering and Masters degree. How many degrees do you have? He is very athletic! He has had olympic training. He is a wonderful man who MANY of you would desire and don't have. He knows that pleases a woman and EXACTLY what he wants in life.
Most important to me is that he expresses that he is a "God-fearing" man. There is NOTHING in life more important to me than that!
He has no kids -- not a priority in life for him. He is too wonderful to describe! I know more about him than you will ever know about your partner, because we COMMUNICATE.
Sorry for your skepticism. But I will take it with a grain of salt, as it deserves to be taken.
This man is an open book -- but not only that, but he hides nothing.
WOW is all I can say about him ! Have never met a man like this in my entire life! He wants to please me, and he is certainly capable of doing that.
We are in the same boat. First and foremost, file your taxes.
The penalties are huge if you file late. Once you file, it will take about a month, and they will send you a bill. We were able to get a 4-month extension, i.e., extending the due date of the balance. We only had to pay interest and some penalties for paying late - again a fraction of what it costs to file late. That did not cost anything. The next option was setting up a payment plan, and I think that cost $125 to set up plus the interest and penalties for paying late.
They really are not bad to work with, especially this year. I read an article where they have been instructed to work with people, especially in light of the bailouts for large companies. They are very respectful, much better than any creditor I have ever worked with, and as long as you are working with them, I think you'll be just fine.
Good luck to you, I'm sort of in the same type of boat
Have had many non-cancerous cysts/endometriomas removed along with one ovary. After many different opinions, the majority of doctors have recommended avoiding the surgery if possible and keeping the remaining ovary and just having yearly ultrasounds, as I am only 39, but sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off symptom-wise and not having to worry about cancer down the road if I just had the surgery. Like everything else, there are pros and cons and it is a very tough decision. I have heard many women say, oh I had one and it was the best thing I every did! Only to find out they kept their ovaries... so big difference! Please let us know how things go for you and best of luck!!!
JAWS: "I think we're gonna need a bigger boat."
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Boat show in Urbanna on Sat. and Busch Gardens on Sunday - nm
x
Hear, hear! I'm with you too, same boat. -nm
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