In my home if she kept arguing the curfew would change to 11,
Posted By: (nm) mtstudent on 2007-06-21
In Reply to: My home, my rules - Debbie
Nineteen is old enough to respect you and be considerate of your rules.
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Not arguing about the right for a business owner--sm
to refuse service to anyone, but, according to the article I read, OJ and his group came into the restaurant, sat in the back and were not causing a problem. The owner had the problem, as one of the waitresses was *giddy* that OJ was there. He specifically stated he asked OJ to leave because he did not like what OJ had done (in the past). To me, that is discrimination. He was not causing a problem. It was the owner of the restaurant who had a problem. But that is just my opinion.
I just do not think it is right that a place that is *open to the public* can ask someone to leave just because they do not like that person. If OJ had been causing a problem, that would have been different, but he was not. It was all the owners feelings about the man. that's all.
However, this thread is taking an ugly turn and since I have said all I have wanted to say on the subject, I am backing out now. Have a good day.
No one is arguing that Mrs. Obama said this. Someone posted that old, tired Muslim e-mail.
That is what the "check your facts comment was about." Anyone who watches the news has seen the sound bites from Mrs. Obama's appearance this morning.
My 19 yo does not have a curfew.
Our primary goal as parents is to raise responsible adults. My 19 year old does not have a curfew, but he is a member of this household and owes us the courtesy of minimizing our worry. He tells us where he is going and tells us when he expects to be home. He calls if there are changes in plans. This is no different than the courtesy my husband and I pay each other when we keep each other informed of our whereabouts. When my son turned 18, I told him that I would no longer enforce rules or curfews, but that I had a choice about whether to continue to house him or help him with expenses. He's a very responsible young man, contributes with household chores, works and pays a good deal of his own expenses, and he appreciates the help we give him. Because he acts like an adult, we treat him like one.
Some people are not ready to be treated like adults, even when the calendar says they are over 18. You know your child. If she is a responsible young woman, then it's time to let her go. But if she needs more time to get her adult act together, you have every right to impose house rules.
Curfew......
My son is 18 years old home from college for the summer. We don't give him a curfew. At the end of last year (senior year) he was a nightmare with the attitude and there was constantly war up in my house. By the time he left for college, everyone really needed a break from each other. I had a lot of anxiety about him coming home for the summer, thinking the attitude would be home too, but to my pleasant surprise, he has been a peach so far, so I really don't bug him about what time he is home. Thus far, he has not done anything stu*pid and does not really go out all that much, once or twice a week. If he was a girl, we might have a different view of that. It is such a hard subject and if you feel strongly about it and it is disrupting your life, stick to your guns. We also live in a nice suburb and we know all of his friends that he runs with and feel good about them, so that also may be another concern for you. If it were a different situation, we may handle it differently.
curfew
Our DD, who is 18 now, had an 8:30 curfew on weeknights and 10:30 on weekends when she was 16````no exeptions.
Curfew for 18-year-old
I have an 18-year-old daughter who is a high school senior and leaving home to go to college in the fall. We had originally set a curfew for her to be home by midnight on weekends, then recently extended it to 1 a.m, much earlier on weeknights. She has a car that was provided by us (an old clunker, but the thing runs) and often goes to friend's houses in the evenings. She is otherwise responsible, has a job, gets good grades and school and gets her homework done. Lately she's come home past curfew a couple times (2 times that I know of - last night I heard the garage door open at almost 4 a.m.). I'm torn as to whether to make a big issue out of this - if she was younger, I most certainly would, but because she is 18 and otherwise a responsible girl, I don't know to what extent I should push this. Any ideas or opinions?
Does any give their 19 year old a curfew sm
I have a 19 year old home from college that has a 1 a.m curfew. I cannot sleep until she gets in and so out of respect I ask her to be home. I don't mind if she has people over after 1 a.m or spend the whole night on the phone. She is fighting this big time. Supposedly she is the only one that has a curfew. She told me that when she talked to her social worker today that she said your mom needs to get over that and let her live. I told my daughter my house, my rules. Now I am wonder ing I am too hard.
My 20-year-old son doesn't have curfew...sm
He goes to to school about an hour away and comes home almost every weekend. He lives in an apartment all week with 3 of his friends, goes to school and works nights. So, I really get a laugh out of it when he comes home and actually still ASKS if he can do something on the weekend. I appreciate that he does it, but at his age I would expect him to tell me where he will be.
Then there's my 17-year-old daughter. She has to be home by 11:00 because of her junior driver's license. We have 6 more months of that and then I think we will have a problem when she turns 18.
P.S. Forgot to add my curfew time
Until I was 18.....9 p.m. week nights, 10 p.m. weekends. No leeway. Grounded for 2 weeks if I was late. I spent a lot of time grounded and depending on the offense, it was 2 weeks to 2 months. Pretty hard to have a social life that way.
Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
I read a book once with the above title. I can't remember the author. He has done a lot of testing (and imaging) and says that often people actually have small amounts of brain damage they are not aware of that cause chronic behavioral issues.
He says that even little incidents of falling off a bike, etc. can cause damage that people aren't aware occurred.
I'm not saying this is your son's case, but I think you will have to keep investigating. Even with those who have damage, they are able to use meds to help the brain compensate for the affected area, which helps greatly.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It has to be awful for the whole family and hurtful to know your son is feeling in such a way to act that way.
I'm sure there is an answer somewhere. I hope you find it soon! - Please keep us posted.
You cannot change kids. Can only change the way
x
Buy a home of my own - not a palace, but more of a smallish home on a large piece of land. (nm)
.
Anyone move from a single family home to mobile home? sm
I own and live in a house in a midwest city in a bad neighborhood (wasn't that bad 11 years ago). I spent the day waiting for the plumber to come and jackhammer the foundation (slab house, no basement) to find a leaky pipe that is flooding my DD's bedroom. Last week, it was the electrician with quotes for costly repairs.
In the meantime, I've really been thinking about selling out and moving into a mobile home. Has anyone done this before? Is a mobile home in a decent park less of a hassle than a regular house? I'm so tired of cutting the grass and spending $$ to fix things and tired of old flooring and cabinets, etc., that are just too costly to replace. I'm single with no man to do these things for me and I can't afford a mortgage on a newer house in a good neighborhood. Some of the pictures I've seen of the mobile homes look really nice and modern on the inside.
Any advice and comments appreciated. Thanks!
Well I figure I can make my own hours & be home when the kids are home (sm)
I worked PT in an office for a while but spent most of my money on childcare in the summer. Full-time in an office was just a nightmare and I felt like I missed a whole year of my children's lives. I want to be in control of my schedule so that's why I'm looking into the cleaning thing. Never thought I would want to do that but live and learn! Some of the most intelligent people alive work as carpenters and similar things because they have learned what's really important in life. Whew....off my soapbox now :-) Good luck to you!
Daniel had a home, a very good home...
with someone in my family at one point.
She met her late husband at a club down the freeway from me. It's not a fancy place, like you say.
She does have a real brother though. That was the connection on our part.
I agree, though. It is sad that all this is coming out the way it is. I believe she was a good person...she just had a lot of problems, mainly drugs. What is really sad is that all of this is going to be seen by her daughter one day when she grows up.
Home Alone 1, A Christmas Story, Home for the Holidays, Chevy Chase's Christmas, sm
There "The Gift of the Magi," He sells his gold watch to buy her a comb for her hair and she sells her beautiful long hair to buy him a chain for his gold watch. It used to be on "Short Stories by O'Henry" but that's long gone, long ago. Good moral to the story. I can't stand "It's a Wonderful Life" -- too depressing, especially with banks closing, too intimidating right now!!!
Home sweet home.
x
Home, Home, On The Range SM
where the beer and the cantaloupe play . . . where seldom is heard . . . .
What happens at home stays at home. (nm)
:op
She is home, by that I mean she is 1 mile from her home.
I am the one that moved away. My brother lives there, but she requires 24-hour nursing care right now, and he is unable to provide that for her. My son is graduating high school this year and I plan to move back to take care of her, but I just can't until then. I did tell the adminstrator that they have 24 hours to figure this out, and then we will bring in the police. I have also threatened to go to the media, and this facility has a very excellent reputation and is run by the Brethren Church, so I would think they might not want bad publicity. It is a pretty small town and this is one of only a couple of care homes in the area.
Well, if you are not going to change your
mind, then do not expect anyone else to change their mind about you either. You cannot call people judgmental and then be judgmental yourself. Or you can, but you just look ridiculous doing so.
And by the way, I went into this field so that I could be home with my kids. I also have held a job outside of the home for many years and had my kids home with me while I worked, but they were older where they could amuse themselves most of the time. They are in school now and I have them doing something part time during the summer, but the other times they are here with me. I work just fine like you do and I can hold a job outside of the home. I've done it before and I will be doing it again in a couple of years when I finish school. I've never made a post though about the things you mentioned.
So...your conclusions are flawed.
well then I think we should change the name
change
Honestly, the only possible way he could change is by telling him. But beware it will only change for a bit and go back to the way it was!
...just happens to you. You can change it.
x
Believe I would have to change my name.
Right off the bat, made me think of Pol Pot. If your not familier, Google him.
An attempt by Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot to form a Communist peasant farming society resulted in the deaths of 25 percent of the country's population from starvation, overwork and executions. Responsible for 2,000,000 deaths of his own people.
Sorry did not mean to ruin anything, just made me stop and think.
Change
I remember the Riley Hospital incident, I just had forgotten that it was there at that hospital. I want to know WHY the vials are not brightly colored OPPOSITES? While not having seen one of these vials for a while, I assume they look they same as they always did. The company who makes these needs to take a look at its packaging and ACT ON IT. This is so hard to take. I can't stop thinking about it.
Men that hit do not change...
sure, they can go through anger management (sitting around with a bunch of other women beaters talking about how much their mate irritates them; hmm, wonder why they don't change), they will say they are sorry, it won't happen again, buy you nice things to appease you, go for periods of time not using you or your children for a punching bag, etc. You can see by many posts below that you need to get out now....you can either take that advice or not. Staying does not make you a hero or a martyr; you can't change him, won't change him and for the sake of your children, either send them somewhere safe and stay and be a doormat or take charge of the situation. As I said earlier, BTDT, twice as a matter of fact. It took me until age 40 (I'm 48 now) to realize that I wasted too much time on 2 men who were insecure, angry, lazy, and no good before I got out. My life began at 40 and yours can begin any time from this moment on. You have gotten some very good advice here today; use it and quit making excuses why you can't leave. It can be done.
I think this is all going to change now
that we're heading into a recession/depression. Shoe repair places are experiencing huge increases in business. People are replacing engines in cars instead of replacing the cars. Hard times aren't all bad. We have much to learn from the Greatest Generation that lived through hard times.
What would you change if you could
If there was a time machine and you could go back in time and change one thing that would affect the rest of your life what would it be. And if you were to go back where would you stop the machine. I was just watching the Time Machine the other night and that's what made me think about it.
My major decision I would change would have been to go to a different high school with different friends (that would have changed all my future decisions).
If I could go back I would stop the machine to the night before I started the 2nd grade. I'd love to do it all over again (minus the bad decisions). 2nd grade was the best time for me.
What would you change if you could
If there was a time machine and you could go back in time and change one thing that would affect the rest of your life what would it be. And if you were to go back where would you stop the machine. I was just watching the Time Machine the other night and that's what made me think about it.
My major decision I would change would have been to go to a different high school with different friends (that would have changed all my future decisions).
If I could go back I would stop the machine to the night before I started the 2nd grade. I'd love to do it all over again (minus the bad decisions). 2nd grade was the best time for me.
Exactly right! Nobody can change what is put down in a will,
only the testator can make changes (codicils) to it. When he is dead, nobody can, not the one who holds the POA, not the executor, not the lawyer, not the state, because there is the will!
All the named persons have only an administrative/executive power to make sure that that what is written in the will gets executed.
Get out now. Men don't change.
I stayed in for 22 years, and even though mine was a nice guy other than the unwise and selfish spending, it ruined everything. There were other issues too, but the money one alone will leave you feeling helpless and hopeless. Meds won't solve the problem. Getting out will.
Wow! what a change!
Good for her!
Oh yeah, sure. I think we'd all like to change a lot more
than welfare laws and regulations in many states, but it ain't gonna happen, sister. The laws are made for and benefitted by the poor and the rich only, not the in between. Middle class people get squat and are taken advantage of in every way. And I think we all pretty much fall into that category.
Some things never change...
I believe this is the very thing that Joseph was afraid of way back when. Judgement.. We can not judge until we know the full extent of the situation, even then we have to be careful with our conclusions.
No, you won't change me otherwise. I'm not judging
the Bible. God will judge in the end. I simply don't shop at stores that sell gay and lesbian items.
don't change a thing sm
I've been married 12 years and have had a very happy marriage. I too never understand what's to work at.
I also was just friends with my husband for 10 years before we started dating. Never knew he cared for me.
Count your blessings and give your husband a big kiss!!
And again, she cannot change his behavior, only hers
will not back down on that one. Lots of reason for divorce. Staying because of the children is an absolute wrong way to work at a marriage. She finds him disgusting, surely the children notice or they will when they age a little. I would not care if I had 10 children hanging onto my apron strings, would not want to stay somewhere that I am so unhappy I ask outsiders what they would do. My mother divorced in a time when no parents divorcing, believe it or not, and when I went to elementary school I was asked why no daddy. I turned out well, felt it had no adverse effect on me. Saw him, didn’t see him, ?? Really loved my stepmom though. He did do a good thing right in his life by bringing her into it.
sudden change
I won't say this is your case, but from my experience (and some of my acquaintances) a sudden change in behavior might mean there is someone on the side - of course if you are with him all the time that may not be the case. My ex, who had never bought his own clothes, suddenly bought a new outfit and his own cologne. Hope that's not your case, but keep your eyes open.
Do we really need to change the car oil every 3000?
//
everyone talkin' about change
how do you expect him to try to change something if he has no idea????
Alimony after sex change.
CLEARWATER, Fla. —
Lawrence Roach agreed to pay alimony to the woman he divorced, not the man she became after a sex change, his lawyers argued in an effort to end the payments.
But the ex-wife's attorneys argued Tuesday that the operation doesn't alter the agreement.
Roach and his wife, Julia, divorced in 2004 after 18 years of marriage. The 48-year-old utility worker agreed to pay her $1,250 a month in alimony. Since then, Julia Roach, 55, had a sex change and legally changed her name to Julio Roberto Silverwolf.
"It's illegal for a man to marry a man and it should likewise be illegal for a man to pay alimony to a man," said John McGuire, one of Roach's attorneys.
"When she changed to man, I believe she terminated that alimony."
Silverwolf did not appear in court Tuesday and has declined to talk about the divorce. His lawyer, Gregory Nevins, said the language of the divorce decree is clear and firm — Roach agreed to pay alimony until his ex-wife dies or remarries.
"Those two things haven't happened," said Nevins, a senior staff attorney with the national gay rights group Lambda Legal.
Arnold found fault with several of Roach's legal arguments and noted that appeals courts have declined to legally recognize a sex change in Florida when it comes to marriage. The appellate court "is telling us you are what you are when you are born," Arnold said.
Yes, your relationship will change sm
The first three months or so you will both be so tired you won't know how you can possibly make it, but you will. If you have family close by to help, that is great (I was an Air Force wife, so we were far from both our families). Hopefully, though, you will start to see your husband in a whole new light. I know I did. He had never had much use for children before, although I knew he loved animals, so that's always a good sign. He would spend hours playing with our cats, and he loved to sit and watch TV with one or both of the cats in his lap. To me, that showed a loving heart.
He had a lot of learning to do, but he became a wonderful father. Seeing that, I fell in love with him all over again. He became much more open emotionally, primarily with our son, but some of that spilled over into our relationship as well. And having a child together bonds a couple together like nothing else. Here is this wonderful being who is a part of BOTH of you, and who you both love like you never thought you could love another human being.
Sure, there will be difficulties. There will be times when he wants sex and you are so exhausted all you want to do is sleep for a week. There will be times when you are so focused on the baby you won't realize you are neglecting him. But if you are aware of all these possibilities, you are less likely to let the situation go on so long that it becomes a problem.
Good luck to you, whatever happens. 
Change my activity? (sm)
The only thing I can think of that might have caused it would be 8-9 hours of transcribing every day. Unfortunately, I'll probably be typing my days ago for another 20-30 years (LOL).
You can never change the spots on a dog.
I'm sorry that you are going thru this, and I'm just bidding my time for the "father" of my oldest who is now 21, who hasn't called, visited, or supported him since he was 5, to start wanting something. What your ex is doing is basically called stalking. He gave up his paternity rights and now wants to be treated as a parent, give me a break. By law, he has no rights to be contacting you or you son, as he is legally not his father any longer. A parent is not the one "who makes you" but the one that is by you when you're sick, happy, sad, etc. etc. etc. My oldest one, even though I always offered the opportunity for him to have contact if he wanted to, doesn't care, want in any shape or form, to have any contact with his father either. For you ex to find your phone number or where you are living, either someone you know is giving him this information or if you have it listed in the phone book just by searching on the net is pretty easy to find anyone's number (always make your number private, unlisted, and if you can get unknown caller rejection even better, some phone companies give you this choice). Who knows what the heck is now wrong in his life that he wants to turn around and give you all this trouble. Those type of "men" (and I use the term loosely) never ever change. What does he want, for your son to tell him to go away directly to his face? Then, he would take that as a clear shot to keep trying to make your life miserable. You did the right thing by calling the police and even if you have to, get an injuction against him.
I think it sounds like you could use a change (sm)
Peace of mind, happiness, and health are worth their weight. If there is a pay cut and you can get by with that, this change might do you a world of good.
Seems like you know what the job entails with the kids by what you said in your original post.
To help you get the job, the only thing I can think of, besides your other qualifications, is getting a letter of recommendation from your children's teachers and other teachers you may have become familiar with in the school, the principal, etc. Or even letters of recommendations from people you may know in the community.
You know, you can always go back to MTing if it doesn't work out. Wishing you the best whatever you do! :-)
first day of new lifestyle change....Ugh!!! sm
No diet sodas, regular sodas, refined sugars, bad carbs.....I snuck in a little orange juice this morning. I'm reading and following "Body by God" and trying to eliminate most man-made foods (which are obvious) and replacing them with God-made foods which are the obvious, too (fruits, veggies, beans, lean meats, chicken, etc.). No cheese, either.
I didn't realize (well, I sorta did) how much I rely on my Diet Dr. Pepper EVERY morning. Yes, I'm grouchy. I'm drinking water this morning (yuck) - actually, I don't mind water, but I'm dying for my PEPPER!!!!
What's gotten me to this point? My hormones, thyroid, everything is getting out of balance due to obesity. yes, I admit it! This has been a struggle of mine for years. I cannot even tell you how many times I've failed trying to change my lifestyle. I have young children, too, and we went to like McDonald's and Burger King quite a bit.....That will have to stop too :(
It's not ALL bad, though. I do get one "vacation" day a week to eat pretty much whatever I want. Doc says that even 1 to 2 days of this Body by God will yield results. 3 to 4 days of Body by God will yield great results, and all 7 days of this regime will yield the BEST results for you and your body. I'm tired of the swelling. I'm tired of trying to cover up my belly fat. Hey, I'm just being brutally honest.
Is there a diet board? I need fill-in ideas for snacks that are healthy. I've never, ever eaten healthy before.....   = My emotions right now!~
He is selfish, that's why, and will not change! nm
/
don't you wish you can change things?
Yeah, I know how you feel. Been there, still there or here, whatever. Life is just a moment you know.
I don't mean to change the subject but
this statement "raised in all female household" - I am curious. My daughter's husband was raised by women and he's just the nicest devoted husband, really unique, and I wonder if there is something to this - Anybody else have a similar experience?
But if you are going to change, have to start some
x
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